Hello! Okay, so I'm not going to write a lot about myself, because I'm, well, boring.
Name: PM me if you must know.
Age: If you want it, PM me.
Birthday: Januray 4
I'm a girl!
White but pure spanish and proud!
Music: Green Day,white tie affair,the used, copeland,simple plan,linkin park,hey monday,carrie underwood,taylor swift, classic birtney, ne-yo, secondhand sernde, the painc channel, papa roach,alseana, rascal flatts, death cab for a cutie, bright eyes, katy perry, hawthron hieghts, hoobshank,hello goodbye,goo goo dolls, a fine frenzy, shinedown, the fray, one repulic, Eminem, Missy higgns, Mayday Parade, Framin Hanely,Black eye peas,3oh3,NerverShoutNever,Switchfoot, Reline K, Armor for Sleep,Nickleback,Evanscence,Justin Timberlake, red jumpsuit appertus, trapt, the spill cavans, the pershires,story of the year, saosin,rise against, seether, circa survive, Paramore, Taking Back Sunday, Metro Station, A.F.I., All Time Low, We The Kings, Jack's Mannequin, Blue October, Buddy Holly, The Beatles, The Offspring, Yellowcard, The Clash, The Ramones, Kimya Dawson, Jimmy Eat World, Sublime, Robert Pattinson, All American Rejects, Foo Fighters, Weezer, Boys Like Girls, The White Stripes, Dashboard Confessional, The Academy Is..., The Color Fred, and, of course, My Chemical Romance.
Movies: The Dark Knight, Across The Universe, Juno, Speak, Pirates Of the Caribbean 1,2&3, the ugly truth, borgat, beauty and the beast, finding nemo, a walk to remeber, the notebook, adventureland, 17 again, sex and the city, my big fat greek wedding, the gurdge, 13 going on 30, Burno, Twilight, The Orphan, She's the man, anchorman, shallow hal, Sweeney Todd, Nightmare Before Christmas,Corpse Bride, Adams Family, Edward Scissorhands, Wanted, Eagle Eye, Atonement, Becoming Jane, Donnie Darko, Kill Bill Volumes 1&2, Lord Of War, Stardust, Hancock, Disturbia, Transformers, Made Of Honor, What Happens In Vegas, 21, Charlie's angels, my sister's keeper, Spiderman, two weeks notice, miss congeliatliy, the propsal,romeo and juilet, titianic,the departed, time travler's wife and lots more, I just can't think of them.
Books: Twilight series of course!, Harry Potter Series, Series of Unfortunate Events, Speak, Vampire Diaries, Vampire Kisses, Thirteen Reasons Why, Real Vampires Have Curves series, Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist, Naomi And Eli's No Kiss List, Boy Meets Boy, Pretty Little Liars series, Sookie Stackhouse series, sticky fingers, lost it, the uglies,the antomany a boyfriend, the boyfriend list series, the earth, my butt and other round things, how to be popluar, gossip girl series and again, more that I just can't name. I read. A lot. I mean like alot!!
T.V: Hmm...Gossip Girl :) I love me some Chuck and Blair, even if it totally is not like the books, House, Scrubs, South Park, The Simpsons, Degrassi.The best Years, Prison Break, Lost, Sex and tHE CITY,Friends, Family Guy, Wipeout, 90210, Dancing with the sars, 7th heaven, TRUE BLOOD!!, The tudors, Cupid,Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, Grey;s Antomy, My boys, A shot of love, Real World, Heroes, Daily Show, Chelase Lately A Pup Named Scooby Doo, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Johnny Bravo, Rocket Power, The Amanda Show. I watch really cheesy shit a lot 'cause it makes me happy, but those shows aren't cheesy, they're ama Old cartoons are the shiz, and I miss Saturday mornings on Fox when they had Goosebumps and stuff like that.
Quotes that are simply wonderful:
Favourite Quotes: (I did not make any of these up. they do not belong to me)
Favourite Quotes: (I did not make any of these up. they do not belong to me)
"The past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift. Thats why it's called present!" -Kung Fu Panda
"Life was so much easier when boys had cooties."
"Stuff you hear about me might be true. Then again, it might be as fake as the person who told you."
"Well behaved women never make history."
"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
"Over my pile of ashes." -Rosalie Hale
"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away." -Edward Cullen
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunatley it kills all its pupils..." -Louis Hector Berloiz
"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on." -Robert Bloch
"When I die, I want to go peacefully, like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars and I thought to myself, where the heck is the celing?"
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
"Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary." -Gerard Way
"I want to be a vampire. They're the coolest monsters." -Gerard Way (HAHA! BEST QUOTE EVER!)
"Popsicle is the new black." -Frank Lero
"The world is less violent when people are using Hula-Hoops" -Gerard Way
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away". –Anonymous
"I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." -Gerry Spence
"A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." -Anonymous
"A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up."- Anonymous
"Don't let yourself forget what it's like to be sixteen." -Anonymous
"The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams." -Oprah Winfrey
"When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go." -Carol Burnett
"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them." -William Shakespeare, Act 2 Scene 5 12th Night
"Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice." Minna Thomas Antrim
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biglogical phenomemon as first love? Put you hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity." -Albert Einstein
I don't really like the whole "If you are this and this copy and paste this onto your profile" things. I just don't like them, I don't really know why. I do however, love useless trivia and just random stuff that sort of inspires you to write stories and such. (I'm copying and pasting these strait from word, so that's why the fonts are different and keep changing.)
Smile, it confuses people.
If you ask me how many times my heart has been broken I will tell you to look up at the sky and count the stars.
Don't take life to seriously, nobody makes it out alive anyways.
Time is a great teacher, but it kills all of it's pupils.
Sometimes people build up walls not to keep things out but to see who cares enough to break through them.
A brick wall is just a measure of how much we want something.
(This one just sounds like a chain mail, but I like it.)
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can’t change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything and have no regrets. Life is to short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with the bad. Smile when you’re sad. Love what you got and always remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong but always remember that life goes on.
Whoever said that nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
You know that it’s going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, and the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it will last forever.
Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Life isn’t trying to pass me by, it’s trying to run me over.
I love you. Sorry I’m allergic to bull.
There’s always a light at the end of a tunnel. Just pray that it isn’t a train.
No one person is worth your tears, and the one person who is won’t make you cry.
The best way to miss someone is to sit right next to them and know that you can’t have them.
Never start frowning because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Dear Heart, I met someone today. Prepare to shatter.
Don’t tell me that the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
Whatever happens, happens for a reason.
When it rains at a party, bust out the slip n slide.
Boys are like slinkies. Useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.
It’s amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile.
I’m going to be remembered as the girl who smiles even when her heart is broken and who brightens everybody else’s day when she couldn’t brighten her own.
You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.
Last night I looked up to the sky and matched each star with one of the reasons that I love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars.
I never changed, I just got tired of pretending that I was happy.
If Barbie is so popular why do you have to buy her friends?
Don’t tell me that you have never put the blade to your wrist and just wished that you had the courage to press down.
Sometimes the pain of life is just to much bare, and I’m about to put myself out of the pain, but then I think of a few people and what their reaction would be if they woke up and I wasn’t there.
I will never regret loving you ...only believing you loved me too She refuses to trust anyone, Because she refuses to get hurt again. How many times will I break till I shatter ? Hold her head up for her because she has become too weak to hold it up herself. Im just the girl standing in the background of all the happy people. The scars will tell stories, No one ever dared to read. I always thought it was dumb for him to pick me in the first place. I'm not special, I never was, never will be. He just made me believe I was & hurt me when he finally realized I wasn't. I'm screwing up every little good thing I ever try to do Don’t tell me that the skys the limit when there are footprints on the moon. It takes 42 muscles to frown, and only four to smack that ass right side the face. I’m not PMSing, I just hate you. Cracks on sidewalks are reminders that you never too strong to fall apart.
I will never regret loving you ...only believing you loved me too
She refuses to trust anyone, Because she refuses to get hurt again.
How many times will I break till I shatter ?
Hold her head up for her because she has become too weak to hold it up herself.
Im just the girl standing in the background of all the happy people.
The scars will tell stories, No one ever dared to read.
I always thought it was dumb for him to pick me in the first place. I'm not special, I never was, never will be. He just made me believe I was & hurt me when he finally realized I wasn't.
I'm screwing up every little good thing I ever try to do
Don’t tell me that the skys the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, and only four to smack that ass right side the face.
I’m not PMSing, I just hate you.
Cracks on sidewalks are reminders that you never too strong to fall apart.
I hope that life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
Don't love roses; because roses die in summer: Love a river, because rivers flow forever A man gave his wife twelve roses. He told her that he would love her until the last one dies. One of the twelve is plastic.
Don't love roses; because roses die in summer: Love a river, because rivers flow forever
A man gave his wife twelve roses. He told her that he would love her until the last one dies. One of the twelve is plastic.
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark.
When did I realize I was god? Well I was praying and suddenly I realized I was talking to myself.
I’m the girl that nobody noticed until one day she’s famous and you want to be her
Behind every beautiful and cranky girl there’s a dumb guy who did her wrong and made her that way.
There’s a girl crying in my mirror tonight and there’s nothing I can say or do to make her feel alright.
Controversial Issues: Spread the Stupidity Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Bella's Porsche (Mentioned in chapter one of Shattered, though not shown): 15 Things to do when your in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go" LOL LOL LOL "Come to the dark side, we have edward cullen!" 1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. 2. The future is not set in stone. 3. Men are crabby when they're hungry. 4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear. 5. True love knows no boundaries. 6. Some people are just danger magnets. 7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love. 8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle! 9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them. 10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes. 11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day. 12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain. 13. Family is about more than just blood. 14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing. 15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising. 16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings. 17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity. 18. There are exceptions to every rule. 19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid. 20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy. 21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's. 22. Cold hands = Warm heart. 23. Not breathing is uncomfortable. 24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair. 25. Romeo was an idiot. 26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day. 27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone. 28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with. 29. Space heaters can be very annoying. 30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty sarcasm; my anti drug. OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird! let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook. yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.
Spread the Stupidity
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Bella's Porsche (Mentioned in chapter one of Shattered, though not shown):
15 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
LOL LOL LOL
"Come to the dark side, we have edward cullen!"
1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
sarcasm; my anti drug.
OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!
let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.
yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
This has got to be one of the most clever
THE MORSE CODE :
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!
i speak fluent sarcasm.
are yhu stoned
yea im one of those crazy overly obsessive teenage girls.
do that again and ill give you a papercut in front of Jasper.
you havent read twilgiht.! yhu fail at life.!
i am a twilightaholic.
Regular lions say ROAARR.
Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU
Sad lions say roooaaar.
Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!
You're laughing at me now because your older than me by mere months... but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? ;-)
I don't obsess, I think intensely!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
ome say the cup is half empty some say half full .Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
-Education is important; school however, is another matter.
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.
Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less
-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don't take life to serouly, no one gets out alive anyway
Life's tough...Get a helmet
I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
My VAMPIRE can beat up your WEREWOLF!!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."
"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
"Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you." ~ Emmett Cullen
"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney
You know you live in 2009 when...forget a prince with a horse, i want a vampire with a volvo.
1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
'Never Argue With A Woman'
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
Reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(We don't usually picture guys naked we picture what it would be like to kiss you then get over it and move on.)
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.
That is called a wall. but beware the wall is solid. yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me, for i have attempted this many times before.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Dirty, I know)
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Yesterday is history...tomorrow is a mystery...but today is a gift...that is why it is called the present.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children
2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts
3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping
4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire
5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking
6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children
9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap
12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness
13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required
14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use
15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
this is person cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line :)
Random Funny Junk (well it's funny to me)
When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
When life hands you lemons, throw 'em back and demand Edward (or emmett lol)
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark
Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.
An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
This is a true story:
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)
I want child abuse to stop! and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile Thank you to flamin. guitarist for posting this in your profile and for letting others read it.
My name is sarah
CHILD ABUSE...MAKE IT STOP!!
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Everytime there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession?
Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible. - Carl Jung
-Watch me hunt- Bella Swan (so adorable)
-Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect - and I didn't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean- (Bob Marley)
-You know you're in love when reality is finally better than your dreams- (Dr. Seuss)
-People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about- ;)
-A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left- (Marylin Monroe)
-And you can quote me on the quote, unquote- (Dane Cook)
-Love is when two people who care for each other get confused- (Bob Schneider)
-Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?-
-Strike a pose; & act like your famous-
-The hardest thing in this world is to live in it- (Buffy)
-To live is the rarest thing; most people only exist-
-It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be real hard. And we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that...because I want you. All of you...forever- Noah notebook
-Behind every untrusting girl is someone who made her that way-
-"You think I lifted a van off you?" His tone questioned my sanity- (Twilight)
-When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end- (Twilight)
-But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Bella- (Edward Cullen) -gasp&orfaint-!
-And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...What a stupid lamb. What a sick, masochistic lion- (Edward and Bella)
(I would also just like to take a minute to point out that Edward and Bella so brought the word 'masochistic' back. I mean, no one even knew that was a word, or used it, until them. Just saying.)
-I dazzle people?- (Edward Cullen, lol)
-Do you remember when you told me I couldn't see myself clearly? You obviously have the same blindness- (Bella Swan)
-You're wrong you know. You are worth it- (Jasper Hale Cullen)
-Cullen boys...because they don't make them like that anymore- ;)
-Stupid, shiny Volvo owner- (Twilight)
-Bella's all about the extreme sports these days- (Alice Cullen)
-Boys in books...are just better-
-I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!-
-Hello, my name is: GOD- haha
-I run with vampires-
-Edward Cullen is so bringing sexy back-
-I'll be your Bella if you'll be my Edward-
-It's funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces-
-Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable- (New Moon)
-It's not about right. It's not about wrong. It's about power- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
-She's like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It is the air she breathes, and she knows she will win because...there is no alternative- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
-Who really cares if you're in your house, or in a big open field? There is always something to surround you. You can pretend like you're free, but you're not. Not really. You will always be trapped. Four walls of plaster or the roundness of the encroaching atmosphere. I see no difference-
-Your mom- (Some genius)
-Well...you're a flower!- (Me)
-It's pretty sad when you think about it. But I don't think about it- (My friend)
-Yeah, none of those freaky Virgos here- lol (Jacob Black)
-It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have every done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known- (Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities)
-The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by critiscm- (Norman Vincent Peale)
-It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes come to the top- (Virginia Woolf)
-Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off the goal- (E. Joseph Cossman)
-You don't have to have a reason to feel good - You can feel good for no reason at all-
-The best things in life aren't things- (Art Buchwald)
-Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry- (Mark Twain)
-"Good causes" seem to be quite expensive, especially compared to how cheap the bad ones are- (Me)
-I look in the mirror & force myself to not look away. You can't look away from the truth. This reality that grips me is making me fall undone. When did this reflection change, & where did this thing come from?- (Me)
-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience - Lol! (Some Genius)
-Wait 'til there's someone to cry about, someone to fight it out, someone to say you're the reason they breathe-
-Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway-
-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-
-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you, and the goddamn sky is gray?-
-So here's to teenage romance, and not knowing why it hurts like hell-
-With bloodshot eyes, I'll watch you sleeping. The warmth beside me, is slowly fading- (Tears Don't Fall, by Bullet for My Valentine)
-It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them-
-I miss you...alot-
-& she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said they'd never leave...left-
-Beginnings are scary endings are s a d It's the middle that counts the most;; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss the best part of the story-
-People hold onto something because they're afraid nothing that great will ever happen to them again-
-If you can't hear my heartbeat ;; then you're too far away-
- just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe -- she's really good at lying -
-After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone." -
-You want a song of glory? Well I'm fucking screaming it at you- (Box Full of Sharp Objects by The Used)
-Falling in love was the best idea I ever had- (Same song as above)
- Forged in war, born of death, saved by love - Jackson Rathbone
- I'd tell her that I'll never know what it was like to be her. But I do know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in, but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill the thing on the inside. - (Girl, Interrupted)
- "You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you." - (Me to a friend of mine)
- Life might be wonderful! - (moon.witche)
- Trust Emmett to find the joke in the destruction of my life - Midnight Sun
- Bella's going to stare at Edward in a minute. Look normal. - Alice in Midnight Sun. Ahaha.
- A hundred yards away, Mike Newton was lowering Bella's limp body to the sidewalk. She slumped unresponsively against the wet concrete, her eyes closed, her skin chalky as a corpse.
- And, by the way, I adore you...in frightening, dangerous ways.
- "You do know that not ALL under-handed deeds end in payment right?" (Someone I know)- Edward thinking in MS. Awww!Please, be aware that child abuse happens everyday, and it isn't just physical, it's emotional too, and sometimes that hurts more than a beating from your parents. Physical abuse scars you on the outside and that pain will go away, but emotional abuse scars you on the inside and the pain of being called worthless never goes away. So please, help stop the abuse.
"Bombing is for peace, like fucking is for virginity"- Bumper sticker at Warp Tour '08
"School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobodys perfect, so why practice?" - Billie Joe Armstrong
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk?', and I say 'No, that's trendy!" - Billie Joe Armstrong
"It's my fucking life and - you know what? - nobody invited you... so there's the door." - Billie Joe Armstrong
"I don't do drugs, I am drugs" - Salvador Dali
"Wars have never hurt anybody except the people who die." - Salvador Dali
"God is cruel. Sometimes he makes you live." - Stephen King
“And so the artist fell in love with the drug addict.”
“What a stupid artist.”
“What a sick, manipulative drug addict.”
-Daddy’s Little Cannibal, ‘Cigarette Burns’
Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong.”
Look after my heat, I left it with you" - Edward Cullen (on the count of three. 1... 2... 3... AWW!!)
"Listen to me acholic! Drink your soda and get me an other bottle of Gin!-Gabby
"Look what I won! Well, not won, my art teacher was giving them out..." ME
"Hi Cujo, who you growling at?" - Piper, Charmed
"Let play a game of heads and tails. Head your mine and tails I'm yours" -Unknown
"I prefer Brunettes..." - Edward Cullen
"Why the hell isn't this thing cutting? Oh... it's a spoon..."Daddy
"I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS! IT'S IN THE BLUE ROOM!" - Auntie
"Stupid shiny Volvo owner" - Bella Swan
"You.Got.Food.In.My.Hair." - Rosalie Hale
"People say love is just around the corner... I must be walking in circles" - Unknown
Bella Swan - "So, what your saying is I'm your brand of heroin?" Edward Cullen - "Yes, your exactly my brand of heroin"
Bella Swan - "So, what your saying is I'm your brand of heroin?"
Edward Cullen - "Yes, your exactly my brand of heroin"
"OMG! She looks like a munchkin!" - ME!!
"Not much wild about you is there? I bet that cottage doesn't even have a scratch" - Emmet Cullen
"Someone asked me how many times you crossed my mind and I said once, because you never left." - Unknown
Bec-"OMG! We should get her a chair... with wheels!"
Sean-"Uhh, Bec, do you mean a wheel chair?"
"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club are you?" - Bella Swan
"I thought you were my knight in shining Armour... but then I realized that you were just and idiot wrapped in foil" Unknown
"Real eyes, realize, real lies" - Unknown
How can you lose in a game of head and tails 50 times. I mean head rachel wins and tails I lose! - Joey (Friends)
You hired a male nanny? Your hired a Manny? -Chandler (Friends)
We were on a brake! - Ross (Friends)
IT's so clean. Not just health department clean Moinca Clean - Monica (friends)
Ross repeat after me! I Ross take the Emily, repeat - preist
I ross take you Rachel I mean Emily I take Emily!!- Ross (friends)
Frank Jr: My sister's gonna have my baby!
Ross: Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breasts?
Ross: What is Chandler Bing's job?
Ross: Every week the TV Guide is delivered to Joey and Chandler's apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Phoebe's Song: "Fetus"
Friends Vs Best Friends :
Friends: Will let you live in a run down one bedroom apartment in Harlem and tell you it's beautiful!
Friends: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs
Friends Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
Friends: Cry with you.
Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Friends: Are happy that you picked up a one night stand and leave you alone.
Friends: Would knock on your door.
Friends Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
Friend: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
Friend : would tell you look hot when going to a club
Best Friend: would have a competetion with you of who can get the nost numbers to prove she who look the hottest
Friends: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
Friends: Want the money they loaned you back next week.
Friends: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
Friends: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."
friend: will help you up when you fall down.
friend: will go to a concert with you.
best friend: will kidnap the band with you.
friend: will accept your karate obsession.
friend: will play video games with you.
friend: will help you find the way when you're lost.
friend: will help you learn to drive.
friend: will watch your pets when you go away.
Friend: has never seen you cry
Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Friend: will take pictures of the car accident and wait for the cops to do the rest
Friend: will let you know that you should check what you're wearing
"Friends: call 911 when you call and say their house is burning,
Best friend: Will hang up, and rush over with a bag of marshmallows".
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run Bitch run!"
Friend: Will help you move.
Best Friends: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
Best FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
A friend will hide you from the cops.
A best friend is probably the reason they are after you in the first place.
A friend tells you to work hard and study well before your exams
a best friend sits outside the exam hall and shouts "How much more will you write? "
A friends : supports you when your thin and you want to go on a diet
A best friend: drives you to a psyc ward for being anoxic
A friend: would tell you that you should go on a diet and exericse more
A best friend: would wake you up at 6:00 am to go out running and brong you a salad for lunch
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