Author has written 1 story for CSI: New York.
Hey! You found me! Lolz:)
My name is Laci. I have a boyfriend and a daughter. My favorite color is blue, my sport is soccer and I have brown hair and eyes. I grew up in New York and recently moved to the boring state of Ohio.
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe.Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your behind off.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever laughed at a corney joke that wasn't even funny, add this to your profile
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you read the copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this onto you profile.
If you find song lyrics in all your sentences copy this into your profile.
If you get weird looks from your classmates when you say you don't like The Jonas Brothers copy this into your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're obsessed with CSI MIAMI so much that your friends avoid mentioning it because they know you will talk about it for hours, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Eric and Calleigh should be together forever, copy and paste this into your profile! I am a huge hiphugger fan. like unbelievably. i cry if they cry, and i jump up and down when they smile.
.see a hummer and get all excited.
...leave out of your house and think you're going to a crime scene -at least I've pretended I was
...wearing black makes you feel like Calleigh Duquesne ( i so want an outfit like the one she wore in man down!)
...you can do the Horatio move
...you start sentences with "One time on CSI: Miami..."
...when you hear "Texas" you think about Frank (not really- i live in texas)
...when you hear "M.E." you think of Alexx
...you sing along to the "CSI:Miami" theme song... go the who!
...know all the characters backstories
...read the fanfictions for "CSI:Miami"..
...Write fanfictions for "CSI:Miami"
...meeting the cast became an ultimate wish (especially david, emily and adam)
...you got shopping for new sunglasses and try to find some like Horatio's
...you still get a little upset when Ryan is fired (even though you know he's hired again)
...still hold your breath when Eric is shot
...still wondering if Calleigh will make it out safe when she's kidnapped
...you know all of the Clavo cases by heart
...you use Horatio one-liners on family and friends
...you own at least one "Calleigh Duquesne" inspired outfit.
...you got out your way to buy CSI:Miami DVDs, Games, Board Games, even kits
...you go to Walgreens and buy a microscope with the test tubes things
..suddenly the game Clue became CSI:Miami(you're solving the murder, but you're acting like a CSI)
...watching CSI:Miami made you a little more smart in Science
...you know what AFIS, CODIS, GSR and IAB mean
...when you know every time it comes on and watch it even if you've seen it
...when you have September 22nd marked down on everythin
...when someone mentions the date September 22nd, you get excited!
...CSI:Miami became your bedtime story; you call asleep each night watching one of them
...Write CSI Miami Every night before you go to sleep
...You still get freaked out every time the episode where Eric And Natalia have a pregancy scare- (more for hiphugger fans) I refuse to watch it- that is how much i love eric and calleigh!
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies. X
Your Girl Side
You wear lip gloss/stick. X(sometimes)
You smile a lot more than you should. X
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"
This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile.
My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall.
I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door.
He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
1. Find a globe.Spin it. What does it say? (Germany)
2. Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, word 6. What does it say? (Larkin)
3. What can you hear right now? (she' s my movie star best i ever seen, part of a song)
4. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself. (what are you doing lindsay. laying here with my husband. ok)
5. Turn on the T.V. What show is on? csi:ny
6. Type your name with your elbow. juhrrftyhj(wow)
7. What happened last time you were typing here on this computer? (Words appeared!)
8. Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see? (my sister and brother in law)
9. If you could be anybody from NCIS who would you be? Jenny or Ziva
10. Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they spell? (rreaihrsn) weird
FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Say "Ding" on every floor.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Favourite sayings of all time!!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your pro.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.
If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile.
If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.
If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile. I do.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?". So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile
If you are a total clutz copy this into your profile.
If you can't walk up or down stairs without looking at them, copy and paste this into your profile.
I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you think that last statement made no sence at all, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you don’t believe in stereotypes, copy this into your profile.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You know that you're addicted to NCIS when...
1. You have seen every episode several times and still never get tired of it.
2. You will yell if someone tries bothers you on Tuesday night when you are watching a new episode of NCIS.
3. You find yourself Gibbs Slapping people. (Or yourself)
4. You have had a dream about it or involving one of the characters.
5. You daze out while sitting at your desk and imagine yourself running along side Tony and Ziva with your gun drawn yelling, "Federal agents! Drop your weapon!"
6. You watch the movies that Tony has mentioned. As many as humanly possible that is.
7. You wish USA would put more than just three episodes a night on.
8. You have started using military refernces. Hit the head, scuttle butt, hit the rack, etc.
9. The majority of television you watch is of NCIS.
10. You smell something funny or hear a beeping sound and your mind goes to a chemical attack or a bomb.
11. You call people Probie and use McNicknames.
12. Your dog goes missing and you say to, "Put out a BOLO."
13. You try and convince every person you meet to watch it.
14. You use the term Hinky.
If any of these refer to you copy and paste it into your profile.
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car): Dog Jeep
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME (fave ice cream flavour, favourite type of shoe): Mint Chocolate Chip Tennis Shoes
3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favourite colour, favourite animal): Blue Dog
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born): Marie Dayton
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): Swo Te
6. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favourite colour, favourite drink): Green Mountain Dew
7. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers): John Edward
8. STRIPPER NAME (the name of your favourite perfume/cologne/scent, favourite candy): Toxic Hersey
9. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Steele Sydney
10. SPY NAME: (your favourite season/holiday, flower): Summer Lily
11. CARTOON NAME: (favourite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Grape Bra
12. HIPPIE NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favourite tree):Chicken Maple
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
female come backs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
A girl and a guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road...
Girl: Slow down. I'm scared.
(In the paper the next day) A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived.
If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Koki-chan (Everyday, I think my stairs are cursed), Majickal (over at my mom's friend's house...which was very embarrassing because I almost broke my nose), Neassa (let's not get into it...), Peridot-Horntail (Try running to the bus in a panic and then realize mid-flight fall you were going the wrong way.), your.lazy.lover (i wear socks in my home and my steps are carpeted, the result being...), Hawkstra (had a bruise on my chin for a week), StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey (just pack full the biggest trip backpack you have, then go on a school trip and try to climb up the stairs with your backpack on your back... P.S. I caused a domino effect) xXriujooXx (Flip flops plus arm full of books plus wet stairs equals disaster...), Daddiesgirlovesdlcalerictiva (I was Hara Arena for a concert and tripped running up the starirs, with every one looking at me.)
Things To Remember:
Everything Will Be Okay in the End. If It's Not Okay, It's Not the End.
When all is said and done, more is said than done
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.
A day without sunshine is called night.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
Advice is what people ask for when they know the answer but wish they didn't.
You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
No matter how much you care, some people are just
It takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
You shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
You can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
There is a fine line between genius and insanity.
The people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster then the police do.
We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
Don’t take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line :)
42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy
1. Follow them around the house everywhere...
2. Moo when they say your name...
3. Run into walls...
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...
7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...
10. Do what they actually tell you...
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly...
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...
13. At everything they say yell, Liar...
14. Try to swim in the floor...
15. Tap on their door all night...
16.Pretend to have amnesia...
17.Say everything backwards...
18.Give yourself a swirly...
19.Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!! it's dying!!"...
20.Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your underwear...
21.Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
22.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder...
23.Run in circles...
24.Recite a whole movie 3 times...
25.Pretend to beat yourself up...
26.Chase/bark at the mail man...
27.Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement...
28.Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...
29.Super glue your finger up your nose...
30.Talk to a pen...
31.Lay face down and chant like an Indian tribe...
32.Try and climb the wall...
33.Roll on the floor laughing hysterically in supermarkets...
34.Take your ice cream cone and put it one your forehead... say you're a lovely unicorn...
35. Turn the tv on to a station you don't get, watch the static and say you're looking for the pattern...
36.Switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooooh... I get it!!"...
37.Eat your hair...
38.Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal...
39.Eat anything obviously not edible...
40.Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house...
41.When you shower or bathe yell, "I'm drowning!!"...
42.Try to snorkel in your fish tank...