YOUR GUY SIDE:
X means you agree (I am going to comment on everything)

XxX You love hoodies. (there da shit!)
XxX You love jeans. (i wont be seen in public wearing anything else)
XxX Dogs are better than cats. (hell ya! dogs are loyal)
XxX It's hilarious when people get hurt. (especially when ur the one who hurt them!)

You've played with/against boys on a team. (ma parents wouldnt let meh)

XxX Shopping is torture. (i HATE shopping! i walk around in jeans & a T-shirt 24/7)

Sad movies suck. (i think there funny as hell)
XxX You own/ed an X-Box. (ya but i got mad at it and through it against ma wall)
XxX Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. (I had nothing else better to do)
XxX At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. (i thought that would be da koolest thing ever!)
XxX You own/ed a DS, PS2 or any other game equipment. (X-box360, PS3, PSP,)
x You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. (kind of... i wuz more into Ninja Turtles)
XxX You watch sports on TV. (almost all i watch)
XXX Gory movies are cool. (hell ya!! thats the only way u can get meh to watch a movie!)
X You go to your dad for advice. (every time)
You own like a trillion baseball caps. (I own a FEW, not a trillion)
You like going to high school football games. (idk... i hate ma skoo wen i go i cheer for the other team)
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. (hahaha! i used tew!)
XxX Baggy pants are cool to wear. (i love baggy pants)
Xx It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. (...I've never had a sleep-over...)
XxX Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. (black, blue,silver)
XxX You love to go crazy and not care what people think. (You don't know the half of it)
XxX Sports are fun (i love sports!!)
X Talk with food in your mouth. (sometimes...)
XxX Sleep with your socks on at night. (ya idk why)

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick. (i dont like the feeling)
You love to shop. (HATE shopping)
X You wear eyeliner. (ok ok... ya i do)
You wear the color pink (ah hell NO! i FUCKIN HATE PINK!! i will avoid that color like the plague!!)
Go to your mom for advice. (no way in hell)
You consider cheerleading a sport. (never tried it. Never will.)
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall. ( dont like being in crowds)
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. (dont touch ma feet or ma hands! jus DONT TOUCH ME!)

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. (ewwwww)

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. (didnt we already go through this!?)

You don't like the movie Star Wars. (I like the battle scenes!)

You were in gymnastics/dance? (hahaha! i'd probably break some thing if i tried!)

It takes you around/more then one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should. ( i smile maybe four times a week)

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. (jus one pair of beat up sneakers)

You care about what you look like. ( not really)
You like wearing dresses when you can. (ANOTHER thing i will avoid like the plague)
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.(no it makes me nauseous)
You love the movies.
X Used to play with dolls as little kid. (i played EXSTREAM barbie!! i would through them off the house, give them to the dog and light them on FIRE!!)
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing. (no. jus giv me a deserted dark corner and I'll be happy)

╔══╗
║██║CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MUSIC!!
║(0)║

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List 12 of your characters from you fandom in no particular order (I actually have two, so to save space, I'll do them both here)

1. Inuyasha

2. Kagome

3. Sesshomaru

4. Sango

5. Kirara

6. Miroku

7. Sota

8. Kohaku

9. Kikyo

10. Kagura

11. Rin

12. Koga

1. Ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Miroku/Rin... Miroku is no pedophile... or is he? O.o

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Sango... ah, you DO realize im straight right?

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Koga and Kohaku?! i dont want to think about it

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Kikyo? yeah a few. but i mostly read fics. about 11.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Kagome/Miroku... i dont want to think about it

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Kirara/Kikyo or Kirara/Kagura id choose Kirara/Kikyo since Kirara isnt human and doesnt really have a partner. And Kikyo gets lonely.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out?

Sota walks in on Kagome and Koga. I suppose he would just be a little freaked.

8. Suggest a title for a Three/Ten fic.

Sesshomaru/Kagura. Well i guess for the SxK it could be "Bring Me to Life"

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Inuyasha/...Kohaku. FRIK NO!!

10. Make up a summary for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Koga, miserable after Kagome rejects him,(for the thousandth time) finds the well and accidentally falls through. When he lands at her shrine and picks up her scent, only to find her little brother, Sota comforts him. RATED K!!

11. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

i got nothing for Kohaku.

12. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Kirara. Ive read fics with hur but not about hur.

13. What would happen if Three walked in on Eight and Five having sex?

Sesshomaru walked in on Kohaku and... Kirara?! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK!!

14. What might Nine scream at a moment of great passion?

Kikyo... :P i got nothing

15. How emo is Seven?

Sota really isn't though

16. Write a Sexy Ten/Three title

Kagura/Sesshomaru is "Blowing Winds"

17. Write a Romance Four/Eight title.

Sango... Kohaku... No incest please. O.o

(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Inuyasha and Sota are in a happy relationship until Kikyo runs off with Sango. Inuyasha, brokenhearted, has a hot one night stand with Rin and a brief unhappy affair with Koga, then follows the wise advice of Kirara and finds true love with Sesshomaru... eeeew

Name Game:

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Shannon

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: First 3 letters of real name plus izzle: Shan-Izzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Favourite colour and favourite animal: Pink Chimpanzee

4. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: 2nd Favourite colour and favourite drink: Purple Punch

5. YOUR ARAB NAME: 2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name: Hebotan

6. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: Mothers and father's middle name: Elan Patrick

7. YOUR GOTH NAME: Black and the name of one your pets: Black Fudge

8. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: Favourite fruit and something that can go wrong: Plum Life

9. YOUR PIRATE NAME: Any colour and a pirate accessory: Blue Bandana

10. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: Your middle name and street you live on: Elizabeth Tilch

11. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: First 3 letters of your last name and first 2 letters of your first: Swesh

12. YOUR STREET NAME: Favourite ice-cream and favourite cookie: Chocolate-chip Chocolate-chip

13. YOUR PORN NAME: Name of first pet you had and street you grew up on: Tabby Tilch

14. YOUR STRIPPER NAME: Favourite perfume and favourite candy: Aura skittles

Guidelines of life:

not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

not talk to fictional characters in public.

not answer fictional characters in public.

not talk to inanimate objects in public.

not go out in public.

6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7.Note expressions.

8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9.Floor is slippery when wet.

10.Lake is slippery when dry.

11.Only talk to strangers you know.

12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15.Kill them for security purposes.

16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18.The men in white coats are not your friends.

19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25.Train army of flying monkeys.

26.Goldfish don't like milk.

not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28.Find out who invented the word "pianist".

29.People are staring at you.

act insane.

31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.

not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36.Never pet a burning dog.

37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38.Naked men dig parkas.

39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

know what would look good on you?

41.Immolated cockroaches.

42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43.The size of Danny DeVito.

44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49.That way is rum.

50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

cannot kill the snow.

53.The snow can kill you.

54.Grass can also kill you.

55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.

case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61.Pretend to be so around the n00bs.

not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65.Remember to kill HIM...

66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions.

the evidence.

72.But not if it's broken glass.

73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75.Disregard last note.

76.Note reactions.

77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78.Stock up on ball point pens.

79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

not stick fingers into blender.

82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83.Blood loss is bad.

84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86.Answer every question with a question.

87.Ask people what gender they are.

88.Note reactions.

89.Refer to people as "mortal".

90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94.Kill them.

95.Brutally.

96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97.Dunk head in boiling water.

98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

~ "Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when no one is looking."
~ "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."
~ "Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."
~ "It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
~ "Perfect the art of looking innocent... then you can get away with anything."
~ When you're right no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one ever forgets.
~ A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
~"There comes a time in every person's life where they want to do nothing more than to throw their hands up in the air, screw honesty, and yell, 'Pirate!'

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If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intention of getting one, put it on your profile

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. (i did i got 2 miles... before i got lost.)

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. (it was tyme... oh wait time hahahahaha)

If you have ever said something twice, and when someone said something, you had no recollection of saying it either time, copy and paste to your profile.

If you have ever asked the same question 3 times in 5 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, and were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. (hate it hate it HATE IT)

If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading ,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, copy and paste this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how of key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have written a fanfic, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think Mike Newton should be run over by a bus copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that bus should also take out Eric copy and paste this into your profile

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.-

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. (my numerous--and dead--cell phones, my computer, the ground...)

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you believe that you have way to many copy and paste articles on your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Some people don't like random people. If you feel like hitting those people in the head and telling them their wrong, paste this into your profile

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you truly believe there is a Sesshomaru somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Sesshomaru and he doesnt have to be a inuyouki --though that would be awesome...), copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.

If you've yelled at inanimate objects for being mean copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you like Sushi, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you've ever had a really (and I mean really) obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into

If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile (bwahahahahaha! rubs hands together evilly)

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, Copy and paste this in your profile.

If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile. (GO THREE DAYS GRACE! GO LINKIN PARK! GO ALL OTHER BANDS I AM FAR TOO LAZY TO TYPE! YEAH!)

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil copy and paste this in your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? If you are random and you know it copy and paste this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you are planning world domination (like me) then copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile

Anime is life. Manga is life. Life is good. Parents suck for not buying you more life. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever lost your train of thought in the middle of a sentence, copy this into your profile.

If you know what Suger-Honey-Iced-Tea is, copy and paste this. (if yew dont then just...(sighs)... jusy give up)

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where do i begin?"

Everyone knows how to be good. Everyone knows how to bad. Some people be bad to have fun others because they hate being good. If your one of the few people who like being bad just for the hell of it (ilke me) copy and paste this.

If you have weird friends put this on your profile

If YOU are weird, put this on your profile

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say soooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGREALLIONSRUN!

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. They're also the kind that would spend hours upon hours trying to drown a goldfish... but they know i love them

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there" type of thing, more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us" type of thing

If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you

Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked in public...

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid i'd take over.

You cry, I laugh, you laugh, I make you cry, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

"They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people."

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive

A best friend is the type of person who can see you with the biggest smile on your face.. and still know something's wrong.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . some day.

"I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for."

"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird"

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

'I'll protect my friends because I know they're worth protecting.'

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

"He who laughs last didn't get it. He who laughs first has the most perverted mind."

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?

When life gives you lemons, squeeze 'em in someone dont like's eye. When life gives you people you don't like, push them off bridges.

Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

No one was perfect...well, there was this one gurl, but i killed hur.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't that of natural causes. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

I ran with scissors, and lived!

There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much screwed.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades. No one will believe you.

Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement

Save the earth! It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda"

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Some people are alive today simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence... because I thought of the way ppl. would look at me if i did.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

I'd like to help you out. the nearest exit is over there.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, your eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Two men walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

RAWR! I ate my eraser! -cough-

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken.

Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP!

"The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me."

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨
¨°º¤ø„¸Sesshomaru¸„ø¤º°¨
¸„ø¤º°¨ ~~~~Rocks!!~~~~°º¤ø„¸
¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨¨°º¤ø„¸¨°º¤

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done

(this is hilarious)

Man: Girl, you must be a thief because you stole my heart.
Woman: Hun, I only steal valuable things

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: So... Your a girl huh?
Woman: No, no i'm not

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS (whats funny is that i would do half of this crap for my bff's)

FRIENDS will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS help you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS keep on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS help you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS kidnap him and bring him to you.

FRIENDS will ask if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

FRIENDS will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS give you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS take yours and shout, "Run - bitch - run!"

FRIENDS will help you with your drug problem. BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you.

FRIENDS hide you from the cops. BEST FRIENDS are probably the reason they are after you in the first place

FRIENDS let you make an idiot of yourself in public. BEST FRIENDS are up there with you making an even bigger idiot out of you.

FRIENDS will help you learn to drive. BEST FRIENDS will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.

FRIENDS will watch your pets when you go away. BEST FRIENDS won't let you go away

FRIENDS will go to a concert with you. BEST FRIENDS will kidnap the band with you.

FRIENDS will help you move. BEST FRIENDS will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS help themselves... and are the reason why you have no food...

FRIENDS call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa GRAMPS!

FRIENDS have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS wont tell anyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS ask you for your number. BEST FRIEND asks you for their number (read that carefully)

FRIENDS borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. BEST FRIENDS lose your stuff and tell you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

FRIENDS will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS will kick the whole crowds ass for leaving you

FRIENDS knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS you have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS already know not to tell.

FRIENDS will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "bitch dont be a pussy! Finish the rest of that shit! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS are for life.

FRIENDS would read and ignore this. BEST FRIENDS will re-post this crap.

We're not sarcastic, we're hilarious. We're not annoying, we're just cooler than you. We're not bitches, we just don't like you. We're not obsessed, we're just best friends.

1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)
2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11)
3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15)
4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13
5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2)
6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12)
7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL
8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14)
9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4)
10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7)
11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6)
12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 )
13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10)
14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3)
15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9)
(Put it on your page if you laughed)

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you

One for the Girls!!
1) A couple is lying on the bed. The man says, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
2) Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN.
3) What does it mean if a man is in your bed gasping for breath and screaming your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart! (the best are bold)
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting, "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY (once again, the best are bold)

(In an elevator)

1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope and when other passengers ask you what you are doing say "thats classified" and continue with your work.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them, then press the wrong buttons.
26. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
27. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
28. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
29. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
30.Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

(at work)
1. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
5. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
6. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
7. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
8. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
9. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
10. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.
11. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. Swat at flies that don't exist.
15. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.
16. Practice making fax and modem noises.
17. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
18. type only in lowercase.
19. dont use any puntuation or capitalization either.
20. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
21. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
22. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
23. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
24. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

(random places)
1. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
2. Specify that your drive thru order is to-go.
3. Stomp on little ketchup packets.
4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers on in all weather "to keep them tuned up."
5. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
6. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
7. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
8. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
9. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
10. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
11. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
12. Honk and wave to strangers.
13. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
14. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times. "DO YOU HEAR THAT?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
15. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
16. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
17. Sing along at the opera.
18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

UNANSWERED PONDERINGS!! (best are bold)

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can vegetarians eat Animal Cookies?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station... oh my God.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

NOW FOR THE SERIOUS STUFF

I stroke your cold cheek,
My poor small child
One that never told a lie
That was so meek and mild
But now the world will never know
Just how great you are
How lovely and sweet
They would if you didn’t get hit by that car
The driver didn’t see
Your small frame
Trying to get your favorite doll
I guess everyone’s to blame
The squeal of tires
A scream or terror
The last memories fade
Our greatest error
You slam up against the hood
And roll over top
With a thud and a roll you land
I just wish this horrible nightmare would stop
The driver stumbles out
As I run over to you
My mind in a haze
Please, don’t let this be true!
My vision is blurry
But I make out
The fear in your eyes
The blood making its way about
The driver comes over
And I wrinkle my nose in disgust
The stench of alcohol is all over
And it’s barely even dusk
Wait, where are you going?!
You can’t just leave!
My daughter is dead!
Can’t you even grieve?!
My pleas were not answered
But instead you ran
As I found out later
You were still a boy, not yet a man
You were still at the young age of eighteen
And already drinking
Because of that you hit my little girl
What were you thinking?!
I turn back to my child
My lovely little girl
Who once made me laugh
When she would dance and twirl
But that is just a memory
She will never again
Sing in her adorable voice
Like way back when
I did all that I could for her
Yet it still wasn’t enough
She was meant to laugh and smile
Not to end like this, so gruff.

A Dads Poem (this made me so sad)

Her hair was up in a pony tail,

her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school,

and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,

that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say.

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,

for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently,

anxious in their seats.

one by one the teacher called a student from the class.

To introduce their daddy,

as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

every child turned to stare.

each of them was searching,

for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad,

too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,

she smiled up at her Mom and looked back at her teacher,

who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,

because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories,

he taught me to ride my bike.

He surprised me with pink roses,

and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,

and ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him.

I'm not standing here alone.

Cause my daddy's always with me,

even though we are apart,

I know because he told me,

he'll forever be in my heart"

With that,

her little hand reached up,

and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,

beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,

her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,

who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her,

doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,

staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,

but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,

he's my shining star.

And if he could,

he'd be here,

but heaven's just too far.

You see,

he was a fireman,

and died just this past year when airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,

it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes,

and saw him there that day.

And to her mother’s amazement,

she witnessed with surprise.

A room full of daddies and children,

all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,

who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second,

they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"

to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers,

of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,

for each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,

was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed,

if only for a moment,

by the love of her shining star.

And given the gift of believing,

that heaven is never too far.

‘They’ say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.

Sad:

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

A True Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her. When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her. When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go. When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her. When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong. When she ignores you
Give her your attention. When she pulls away
Pull her back. When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful. When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word. When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind. When she's scared
Protect her. When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her. When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night. When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh. When she doesn't answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay. When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up. When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand. When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers. When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh. When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold. When she looks at you in your eyes
don't looks away until she does. When she misses you
she's hurting inside. When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away. When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers. When she re-post this bulletin
she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's OK don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.Guys post as: "I'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
+Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
+Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
+Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
+Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
+Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
+Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
+Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...
+Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"
+Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
+Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
+Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
+Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
+Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
+Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
+picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"

--Advice--
+ Dont ask for a kiss, take one
+If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.

--Requirements--
+Post this again after reading!!
Or you will have a bad year of Relationships.

If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now
and can't get them out of your head
then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you.
Repost this as what a kiss means

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS??

So sweet, please don't break! :)

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

A feeling.

Only felt.

This chain started in 2002.

It is a love chain letter.

In an hour you are supposed to repost this.

Now here comes the fun part.

You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!

NOW THE CONSEQUENCES!!

The consequences are:

If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future
relationships.

If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!

Congratulations!!

You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain
letter on the internet.

Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour)
post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with girls?"
After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

Girl: She gives him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste

Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

Holdin Hands-
Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.

Cuddling-
Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.

Movies-
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

Loving each other-
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into
her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too...
And mean it.

Laying below the stars-
Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. Now make a wish about something you would like to happen Between you and your crush...

Guys repost this if you agree.

Girls repost this if you think this is cute.

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2.Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so scroll down

(don't cheat- -)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completly in love with this person

2. If you choose

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservitive and agressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relashonship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experiance a major life changing experiance for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on in a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides with you and would do anything for you, but may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. THis is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come before your next birthday

17 signs that you are falling in love

SEVENTEEN:
YOU LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY.

SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO SECONDS AGO.

FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM.

THIRTEEN:

YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.

ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE SAME TIME.


TEN:

YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.

NINE:

WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All YOU SEE IS HIM/HER.

EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM.

SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.

SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.

FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM.

FOUR: YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.

THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...

TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DID'NT NOTICE NUMBER TWELVE IS MISSING.

ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & YOU ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING.
NOW MAKE A WiSH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO...

Now repost this as '17 sings ur falling in love' and somethind AWESOME will happen 2 u!!