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Poll: What is your most favorite running joke in my series of MR parodies? Pick 3 Vote Now!
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Joined 11-28-08, id: 1754535, Profile Updated: 08-18-09
Author has written 3 stories for Maximum Ride.

IF YOU GET A PM FROM ME, DO NOT SHARE MY EMAIL ADDRESS WITH ANYONE!! I WILL BLOCK YOU!!

Name: Yeah, right, like I'd ever tell you.

Age: Still not telling.

Gender: Male. This one I can tell you.


My series of Maximum Ride parodies!

I plan on doing all five books eventually.

- A MR Parody Thign - The Angel Experiment

- A MR Parody Thign: Book II - School's Out Forever - Still in progress


My favorite MR quotes:

"Oh, thank God. Goddess. Whatever." -Max

"See, when you're an evil, endlessly funded insane scientist, you have both the means and the motive to, say, suddenly gas a whole room of hostage bird kids."
"Causing said bird kids to pass out without realizing it and then wake up in the middle of a field."
"At night."
"Some of you have probably jumped ahead and are already at the place where you realize this happened to us, and I'm not just rattling on hypothetically, so good on ya!" -Max

"Because we're probably not that useful dead."
"No. Well, maybe as doorstops."
"Or like those things in a parking lot that show where the cars should stop."
"Also an option."
"No. But China is interested in using you as weapons."
"Well, you tell China to bite us. Now, skedaddle on out of here, before we turn you into a doorstop." -Nudge/Max/Iggy/Max/Whitecoat/Max

"No, you idiot. I don't know how it works. I just know it has an unfailing ability to point me in the opposite direction of a bunch of boneheads." -Max

"I must have cookies." -Max

"The Texas stadium was, shock, Texas size..." -Max

"You were three years old. Four hot dogs!" -Jeb

"...You meant a toy plane, right?" -Nudge

"Max-HIH-mum Ride..." -Aribot

"The one main road...led uphill to an incredible medieval castle. You guessed it: Itex. Still lording it over the peasants, in their way." -Max

"It was like, oops, I blinked, there goes Belgium!" -Max

"If they're not the Crips or the Bloods, does that mean they're the Cruds?" -Gazzy

"On to Plan . . . H?" -3rd person

"Los Angeles, gangbangers, huh!" -3rd person

"The plan is hot dogs." -Fang

"Hydra, Hydra, I thought. Sounds like a . . . sprinkler?" -Max

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" -Gazzy


Now, for some of those copy and paste stuffos (100 percent original!!) . . .

If you are paranoid about giving yourself away online, put this in your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride exclusively, put this in your profile.

If you have ever tried to re-enact 9/11 with building blocks, put this in your profile.

If you can't snap your fingers, put this in your profile.

If you are a member of Homo sapiens, put this in your profile.

If your profile is blank, put this in your profile.

If you use both Firefox and IE at the same time, put this in your profile.

If you know more than 3 programming languages, put this in your profile.

5 stupid things people do with computers:

-Reboot when a program hangs

- Assume it's a Web site because they've never seen it (even when it looks like a native executable)

- Use MS Word for every freaking thing

- Overuse MS Office clipart to the point where it's not funny anymore; we need ORIGINALITY people!

- Use 16-bit color (doesn't ANYBODY notice the ugly banding?)


This division is intentionally left blank.


Did you know . . .?

Microsoft, Google, Nationwide, and Hulu are working together to destroy the world.

Barney is actually the Grim Reaper.

If you're using a tube monitor, you can be spied on. (does "van Eck" ring a bell?)

Dihydrogen monoxide is real. (Think. Dihydrogen monoxide. Hmm... Sound like anything you've used? Perhaps drank?)

This sentence is false.

Failed Inventions!

Elevator that only goes up

Book that's bound at both ends

Car that only goes in reverse

Car with manual transmission... and no clutch

Satellite TV with 500+ channels... and every channel airs Sesame Street, Barney, and Teletubbies 24/7

Jokes!

A government plane, a stunt plane, and a commercial airliner are flying side by side. The pilot of the stunt plane jumps off with a parachute. Now, the commercial airline pilot mistakes this for a bomb. He argues with the government pilot. All of a sudden, a flying truck drops bombs on all three of 'em.

Three men with pregnant wives are waiting in the hospital outside the delivery room. The doctor comes out to the first man and tells him he has twins. He replies, "Weird. I used to do the morning news for channel 2." Five minutes later, the doctor announces that the second man has triplets. He replies, "Weird. I used to work for 3M." He then sees the third man banging his head against the wall. When asked why, the man says, "I used to work for Google".

Three hunters are walking in the woods when they come across some strange tracks. The first hunter says, "These are moose tracks". The second hunter says, "No, they're bear tracks." The third hunter never got to say anything because he was hit by a train.

Three men walk into a bar . . . Ouch.

A Martian looks up at the sky, sees a supernova, and exclaims, "What on Earth is that?"


Maximum Ride fan fictions that I like:

-Brainwashing, mindwiping, mind control, stuff like that.

-If it contains a certain word starting with "it" and ending with "ex", optionally followed by "icon", then it's for me.

-Stories in which they go to school with a lowercase "s" and no definite article.

-Stories in which they go to the School with a capital "S" and following the definite article.

-Stories in which a normal, unsuspecting person is uprooted from normal life to become an unwilling hostage, er, guest of said capitalized School with definite article.

-Parodies.

The ones that I hate:

-All human stories. IT IS NOT A MAXIMUM RIDE STORY WITHOUT WINGS!!

-Romance. I don't know about you (yes, you, sitting there scrolling down this Web page), but I do not read purely for character pairings. I do not like people whose idea of a good story is filled with kissing and crying and pet names.

-Drabbles. THEY'RE TOO FREAKING SHORT!

-Songfics.

-Flock band stories. Somewhat related to the above. The songs performed are always written by real-life groups because the authors are too lazy to make up their own.

-Twilight crossovers. First there are hundreds of MR-Twilight crossovers on FanFiction.net (a.k.a. "Right Here"), and now there's rumors that the Twilight crew will be in the MR movie? Unless the authors of the two series know each other or something, there is absolutely no way to explain this relationship. It's downright creepy. Bottom line: Maximum Ride-Twilight crossovers are like weeds: There's too many. I don't like it.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

St Fang's Poetry Corner by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, I got bored in Spanish class. Out of boredom, I decided to write some Fang-related poetry and other little writings. I learned one thing fo attempting this: I am no poet. At least it's kinda funny. Narrated by me and Fang! Fang: Not again...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 101,661 - Reviews: 1323 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 10/28/2012 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Fang - Complete
Maximum Ride and the Deathly Crossovers by Skye Maxwell reviews
A series of oneshots, with each chapter crossing Maximum Ride over with another story that it just shouldn't be crossed over with. A lot of poking fun at... well, everyone. Pure ridiculousosity. Ch.1: Camp Rock, Ch.2: Fairly OddParents, Ch.3: Harry Potter, Ch.4: Avatar: the Last Airbender.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,967 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/14/2012 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
The Angel Assassin by double09 reviews
"There's an evil inside of me that I can't help. My memory has been taken away from me. The secrets of the School are lock within my mind but I can't see them. I don't know what's happening to me. But should I risk telling the Flock? Can they trust me?"
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,597 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/2/2012 - Published: 5/5/2009
Stormy Skies by bambi726 reviews
The Academy. The very last Itex plant. Only Max and the flock can stop it, but only if they can destroy it before Itex succeeds in turning everyone to their side, and they have a plan more sinister than By-Half.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 23,520 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/12/2011 - Published: 6/9/2009
Echoes Of War by Chaos Ride reviews
Anabell Smith finds a photo album of the flock in her grandma's attic."This is the tale of six kids, and the troubles they face," AU Fax, Niggy, Gella. Warning inside
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 15,535 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/13/2011 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Max, Ella - Complete
Maxamorphosis by ironyheartsap reviews
Max learns surprising secrets regarding her DNA; it is partly composed of Vampire DNA. Soon it's mutating out of control, and Max is slowly changing into a vampire. Will the Cullens be able to help? & what about the Volturi? Better/full summary inside.FAX
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 53,540 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 5/6/2011 - Published: 4/9/2009
Amazing Cliches by rainbowstrike reviews
This parodies the many over-used fanfiction topics that I've seen around here. Stupid, random, & OOC in a good way :D. Hopefully I can give you a good laugh. Rated T because I dunno what will pop out of my mind at times. Chapter 35; A/N Chapter of doom
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 31,205 - Reviews: 857 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 12/19/2010 - Published: 7/10/2009
Ouija Board 2: Revenge by Fangalicous08 reviews
The sequel to The Ouija Board. Max and Fang made it out alive last time, but this time Valencia has more in store for them. Will she finally get her revenge, or will they outsmart her yet again?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 23,658 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 7/1/2009 - Complete
Maximum Ride 6 REDONE by kreader reviews
A re-do of my original Maximum Ride 6. Fax. Eggy. READ, RATE, AND REVIEW, PLZ! Thanks! If you want, read the original and tell me if you think it's better! Thanks.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 9,567 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/1/2010 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Max, Fang
Switched by MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear reviews
After a strange runin with a spiritual Japanese woman Max and Lissa switch bodies! Are these worst enemies really who they thought eachother to be or is there more to the picture? They must learn to work together to reverse the spell before time runs out.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Supernatural - Chapters: 14 - Words: 75,567 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/22/2010 - Published: 10/12/2009 - Max, Lissa - Complete
Ten Sure Ways to Get the MR Characters to Hate You by Vera Amber reviews
Exactly what the title says! I'll do all of the characters that I remember. Rated T because of paranoia. Crime because some of the suggestions are illegal. Yes, it's a list. Character suggestions highly appreciated.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 34 - Words: 11,721 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/18/2010 - Published: 7/11/2009
MR 6: Story of My Life Riiiiight by mfingatfan reviews
Three months after foiling Mr. Chu's nefarious plans, life for the flock is good. Too good. That is, until the CSM wants to film a documentary about the flock. The movie brings a new life, but also new danger. Can Max save them before it's too late?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 23,698 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 7/5/2010 - Published: 6/10/2009
Merlin's Tale Book 1: Fly To The Max by Warhawk Talon reviews
Seven teens are abducted off the streets of town. Five months later, Max and the Flock are confronted by the latest generation of Itex's hybrids. Will Max be able to survive the D.S.B squad? After The Final Warning. James P owns Maximum Ride. Complete!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 40,478 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/18/2010 - Published: 12/21/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
Unwilling Celebrities by Kina Kalamari reviews
-COMPLETE- The flock suddenly finds themselves celebrities, and everything they do seems to end up in the tabloids. Can they get their lives back before something drastic happens? Post-fifth book.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,010 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/20/2010 - Published: 10/2/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Rise From The Ashes by hallowedhalls reviews
Two best friends, yet polar opposites, are kidnapped for the sake of Itex's newest 'project'. Watch as their world is turned upside down as they struggle to cope in their own custom-made hell. T, may up. Previously Levitas Offendo. Penname was waterglow.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,578 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 6/24/2009
Maximum Ride: The Test of Time by Sinatae reviews
Max has a new flock member, a girl who can't even remember her name. She's much older and has a strange connection to a German lab called Malticorp. There's something mysterious about her, something that could put the flock in danger.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 29 - Words: 30,672 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/23/2010 - Published: 4/14/2009
The Flock At My School! by sharkdae reviews
When one has met the flock, the "fun" never stops. Family gets involved and people get hurt. Minds get read and people get freaked out over little things. Not to mention your own flesh and blood turns a gun on you. Hints of FAX.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,988 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 6/18/2009
Alex Batchelder by Alex61097 reviews
Turns out Max had a sister named Alex and Jeb is really her dad.now AlexMax and the flock go to arizona to find Dr.M and she if shes really Alex and Max's mom.they also dig up some Alex's past that she never told the flock.rated T 4 cursing.Alex flock POV
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,742 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/11/2009 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Max
A Normal Life by Zikkie reviews
After getting captured, Max is injected with a fluid that makes her forget the flock and gives her a chance to live a normal life. She wakes up without any information about her past, or how she got wings. Fang and her are room mates. What could happen?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,395 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 10/13/2009 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Fang, Max
Total takes over by rainbowstrike reviews
When Fang leaves his laptop out, Total decides that it's his time to shine. He hacks Fang's blog and begins to write about things the flock would probably not want the world to know... This is a present to my 'The Lists' readers! R & R
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,273 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 7/15/2009 - Total, Fang
Maximum Ride: The Flock by MaxRide1 reviews
The flock is continuing their life, but where is it heading? New powers devolp and relationships continue to grow, but where is it all heading...FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 7,532 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/6/2009 - Published: 7/4/2009
Nothing can go wrong by Ella Meadows reviews
Max is sent off to school in Salt Lake City, Utah... ooooo scary... but something bad happens, and once again sends the members of the Flock's live spinning or flying out of control.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,195 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/15/2009 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Max
Round Two by xoballerinaxo reviews
First fanfic! the flock goes back to school but gets welcomed by someone they never expected to see...and never wanted to. : review!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,263 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/27/2009 - Published: 7/24/2009 - Max, Fang
Sacrifice by Twi-Hoster Girl reviews
It all started when the voice in my head tricked me into running into the hands of the enemy. You have NO idea how drastically they changed me. I'm scared that my flock won't even recognize me...That is, if they don't kill me first.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,196 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Max, Fang
The lists by rainbowstrike reviews
Dr. Martinez has had enough. She decides that the kids need to have some ground rules, and so she puts up lists for each child around the house, stating what they are no longer allowed to do. R & R, rated T just in case.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,539 - Reviews: 279 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 7/18/2009 - Published: 6/30/2009 - V. Martinez - Complete
i got a case of the munchies by obssesed2421 reviews
the flock are captured by the school again but this time they meet a strange boy with a strange name nudgexOC and i will try to throw in some faxxness in there but no promises please read and reveiw to tell me if i suck. also the is title wierd?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,042 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 6/27/2009 - Nudge - Complete
DNA Mixup by Nova Raven reviews
Just my theory on how a Human-Avian Hybrid could be created. The first fourteen years of Ave's life as she learns how she was created.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,726 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Complete
Maximum Therapy by INKSPELL'D reviews
Everybody knows that EVERYONE in Maximum Ride needs some serious therapy, and I'm just the person to do it! A fanfiction in which Max is obsessed with plans, Fang loves sun-burnt hippos, and much, much more!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,819 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/11/2009 - Published: 3/11/2009
Java Runtime Error by Vera Amber reviews
At seventeen, Fang and Max run away to Vegas to get married. They move to France. A year later, they have a kid named Java. Or do they? Minor Fax, minor Eggy, minor Crava. Random and cracky. Rated K plus because of paranoia. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 606 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Max, Ella - Complete
Saving the Future World by ironyheartsap reviews
In the future Itex has taken over the world. The Flock have broken up. The world is in Itex's hands, which we all know isn't good. There is one thing Max can do... she can try to travel back in time and keep herself from making the same mistakes twice...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,336 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/29/2009 - Published: 12/3/2008
MR 5: End Game Wanna Play? by mfingatfan reviews
Author's Note again... READ, READ, READ! Need some direction on the sequel that you have been waiting for. Oh - and if you haven't read the story, READ that too! Flock battles baddies - lots of action, adventure, humor, romance FAX - you'd like!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 136 - Words: 106,536 - Reviews: 825 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 4/15/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A MR Parody Thign: Book II reviews
Here it is... The sequel to my first parody! Based on School's Out Forever. Featuring hungry Ari, costume gags, video game cameos, and more. Reviews appreciated but not required.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 6,249 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Complete
My FanFiction PetPeeves reviews
Ten bad habits of fan fiction authors. Enough said.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 589 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Complete
A MR Parody Thign reviews
My first story and my first attempt at an MR parody. Hilarious if I say so myself. Featuring: annoying narrator, programming jokes, and more! Reviews are appreciated but not required.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,247 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Complete
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