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Poll: Is there anybody out there who would like to read a full backstory of Domovoi Butler, plus everything that comes with that. Includes some of Colfer's characters and a lot of OC's, humour, darker themes, The Academy and beyond. I'm just interested to know if there's anyone out there as (frankly) obsessed as me with the Butler family and the big man's origins. Vote Now!
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Joined 11-29-08, id: 1755726, Profile Updated: 01-14-16
Author has written 16 stories for Artemis Fowl.

Upon realising everything on my profile has been there for a few years is rather embarrassingly old and wordy and ultimately pointless, I thought I'd write something new, which will eventually become old and then... ah who reads this stuff anyway?

What I wanted to say is that after having a look at some of the first few fics I wrote I have been laughing at them and wondering why I wasn't ever flamed into hiding. Seriously I must have been lucky...

Anyway. Feel free to read them even though *WARNING* some really are exceptionally crap. But I'm too... somethingorother... to take them off. Hey it shows my progress doesn't it? And gives others hope because, seriously, if I can get to a moderately good standard after some of those... you can definitely give it a shot too :)


I am probably best known for my extensive selection of Butler-based fics, or at least that's by you guys. Other people know me for other things. (Mostly stubborness, a slightly surprising power to size ratio and a strong affinity for wolves, but that is besides the point.)

If you like the Butler family then I guess you've come to the right place as that, as I have been slightly criticised about before, is pretty much all I right about. In fact, take the 'pretty much' out. All of my fics centre around something Butler-y and none of them really contain fairies. If you weren't really looking for that , the 'Back' button is in the top left of your screen.

If you're gonna read my fics, expect a slightly dark sense of humour accompanying the general genre of Action. Also, I do not claim to own The Major at all, but I rarely find other fics with him in and my version of him is projected from his two-sentence mention in the entire AF series.

Yup. That's about it. Nothing much else has changed. Still a veggie. Still a short-arse. Still writing when I should be working.

Now go on - bugger off and read something more worthwhile.


Story Profiles

Have a read if you're interested, this is what I'd categorise them as.

Box of Tricks

Old, odd, one-shot stuff I was thinking of taking down. Either permanently, or just for polishing up and sticking in Lil' Rems. Occasionally though, I like looking back at them and laughing at how bad I used to be...

*Just My Cup of Tea - my first ever posted fic. The start of my writing obsession.

*Under the Ledge - me realising there were no fics with Butler and Root as characters and filling that spot.

*Winter Wonderland - ... me obsessing about snow and sibling-ness and posting up a Christmas Fic.

*One Fowl Christmas - ... I have little to say. A short attempt to stick the OCs into a fic.

*Four Man Caravan - ... Read the above. The thought was there, honest.

*Thou Shalt Not Swear - ... And again. Good idea, not so well relayed into writing haha...

*What's in a Name? - ... bit of a Crack!Fic really. Was fun to write though.

*Questions and Answers - my attempt at an 'interview-style', 'reader-interactive' fic. With debatable results...

*The Twelve Days of Christmas - a look into 12 Christmas situations based around the life of Butler. Includes Fowls and the OCs known as 'The Gang'.

Big Fics

As the name suggests; longer, chaptered fics. Some are considerably longer than others, but all were updated regularly until their completion. All 'Complete' and none currently 'In Progress'.

*The 'That Look' Incident - inspired by a quote from Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex. My first multi-chaptered fic.

*One Painkiller or Two - which could have done with a better title, to be honest. As with most of these Big Fics, it's based around the Butlers with plenty of badassary and whatnot from them.

*In the Path of Bullets - again, based on the Butlers with lots of The Major in it, as per usual.

*Dead in Absentia - my latest Big Fic dealing with the issue that Colfer killed off The Major without even giving us a proper explanation.

In Progress Collections

Collections of one-shots rather than actual, following-on chapters. Could range from anything - pretty-much guaranteed to be updated at some point.

*Little Remedies - collection of one-shots that are a bit too long to be drabbles but I decided to stick them all in one place rather than post them separately.

*All in a Night's Work - collection of one-shots based entirely on D.Butler's life ranging from 'The Academy Days' to the 'Paris Years' and with anything else from his birth to Artemis Junior's and possibly beyond. Co-Authored by Steinbock, this fic set is heavy on our own OCs. Also Known As "The Gang" you can find out more about them below. Fic collection written up by Wolfy, beta'd by Steinbock, plotted by both of us ;)

Co-authored Fics

Fics written in conjunction with another author.

*All in a Night's Work - Co-Authored by Steinbock (see above)

*The 'B' Word - a one-shot wonder with HolidayBoredom. Can be found in her one-shot collection: 'Short Circuits'

Fic Sets

A series of related 'big fics' which (will eventually) link together in a timeline.

Rough Cut - a fic-set set entirely on the life of Butler. Not just any Butler, our favourite D.Butler. The plan is to write everything from his birth up to (and a little bit beyond) his graduation. Exploring, in essence, his path to becoming a Blue Diamond. Academy Life, Manor Life, his life when living with his mother, Theresa, and her partner, Paul. Will not be posted in order. (Posting In Progress, beta'd by Steinbock)

Fics Included:

*Just Reckoning

Pack of Cardinals - a fic-set set entirely on the life of D.Butler from (just after) his graduation as a Blue Diamond, right up until the birth of his charge, Artemis Fowl Junior. Very Heavy in OCs, starring 'The Gang'. Yes Butler had a life before Artemis. And we intend to document it. (To Be Published)

The Gang

Ah yes, the mysterious, not-so-mysterious group of D.Butler's Academy mates which were pivotal in his growing up and completely fill that enigmatic time known as his twenties. There was a flat in Paris, countless 'jobs' taken on, the nickname 'Cookie' and much more. They are eight people who help make Butler the person he is. They are all qualified Blue Diamonds and their names are as follows...

Daniel 'John' Chase - Tall, strong, devout Christian, Australian, possibly the most handsome man in all the world and... completely asexual. He's the leader of The Gang, master deviser of plots and enjoys a good heist. Has very strong moral and keeps the rest of them in check.

Charles 'Banana' Smith - Red-haired, loud-mouthed, fun-loving son of an English diplomat and his trophy wife. Grew up in luxury learning to play the violin and training alongside his bodyguards. It was they who recommended Madam Ko's Academy. Got the unfortunate nickname after an ill-advised brag turned out to be quite the opposite.

Jean Altmann - Short, slight, firey-tempered, auburn-haired, Swiss-born tomboy who preys on those who underestimate her. Would rather have been born a guy, but spends her life proving to the 'boys' that anything they can do, she can most likely do it better. Likes flying fighter jets, climbing, parkour, shooting things and playing cards.

Wilhelm 'Chicago' Chigrakov - Son of The Academy doctor, Dr. Raymond Chigrakov. He grew up in The Academy, but The Gang's intake year was the first time he was old enough to join in. Bit of a mother hen, he claims it's because he's too lazy to fix his friends all the time, but it's actually because he loves to fuss about. Very big heart, strong morals, but that doesn't mean he's a pushover. He's an Academy-trained medic, which just means he could break every bone in your body... whilst naming them... and then probably put you in a body-cast whilst apologising...

Jacob 'Jake' Wesson - Big, black, gay, American... None of that mattered at Madam Ko's and in the real world pretty much anyone would think twice about giving him crap about any of those things. Mostly because he's almost the size of a Butler and looks like he could eat even the cockiest, anti-American, homophobic racist for breakfast, but also because he's a really nice guy who will take anyone under his wing. Well... unless you've shot one of his friends or insulted his pets, his cooking or his husband.

Rolando 'Ro' Di Dio - Short, sharp, born in Sicily to a family with rather tight ties to the Italian Mafia, he just loves to indulge on the stereotype by slicking his hair back, wearing pointy shoes with half-unbuttoned pink shirts and being overly-touchy feely just to make fun of himself. He's The Gang's sniper and enjoys speaking in Latin with John, drinking a lot of coffee, winding up Banana and trying to get Cookie to act on that 'ridiculous mancrush' everyone's sure he has on him.

Sean 'Panther' O'Tool - Loud, brash, no-nonsense Irishman, born in Belfast. Red-haired, although that and his penchant for picking up women is about his only similarity to Banana. The two fight like cats and dogs, but their regular breaking of the 'no hook-ups to come back to the flat' rule means they bunk in the same room and get along best when they're drunk. Got the nickname for being the only person to sneak up on Dom at The Academy. A life-changing event (not discussed due to spoilers) means that he takes a look at himself and pulls himself out of a downward spiral of alcoholism and murdering people for a living and ends up being a really decent guy. Takes time though...

Briareus 'Brian' Anthis - Crazy-eyed, mad-haired, plant-loving (in every sense), rebellious Greek. Most likely to be the recipient of the phrase "get some pants on you idiot, we've got company in five minutes', he dislikes clothing and would much rather live naked in a jungle talking to animals. Saying that, he's your guy for gadgets, herbal remedies and, if you happen to be Jake, hooking you up with his brother Phil. He's The Gang's best driver - even better when he's been smoking... well, whatever happened to be lying around. John worries about him the most, but if anyone knows their plants, it's this guy.

* If you would like to borrow any or all of The Gang, please just ask for permission and give us a mention in an A/N in your fic.
Steinbock and I would be honoured to lend them to you... and they'd be chuffed for help in their mission taking over the internet.
More information available on request *

So far, they already feature in the following fics:

*Alchemechanist's "The Almost Ones" (Jean, Jake and Panther, with mentions and/or 'dead' appearances of most of the others)

*P.S Sword's "Becoming Butler" (Dr. Chigrakov, Wilhelm's father)

Thanks for reading,



Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Becoming Butler by P.S. Sword reviews
I feel that there is not enough stories about Butler and the academy, this is my attempt at remedying that. Chap.3; Routines
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,488 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/8/2015 - Published: 8/28/2015 - Butler, Madame Ko, Major
The Everett Interpretation by John Creel reviews
Post TLG. Second part of the "From Hades" duology: Time heals all wounds, or so they say. A year has passed since the war, and everything has settled back into a sense of normalcy. But nothing lasts forever, especially peace. As an unprecedented foe pulls the strings, the entire world will be thrown into a chaos that only Artemis can save it from. Rated T for violence and language.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 47 - Words: 415,868 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 8/11/2015 - Published: 4/16/2014 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Of Mice And Men by scarlet-egg reviews
No, really, he was almost POSITIVE this didn't fall under his job description.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,167 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/8/2015 - Artemis F., Butler - Complete
Short Circuits by HolidayBoredom reviews
A dumping-ground for my unbeta'd, one-shot brain-dribbles! From dinner dates to male birthing, proposals, haircuts, clone growing and a little bit of casual heartbreak. A bit of everything so I hope you enjoy! Chapter 23 - Artemis isn't the only Fowl with a plan. Cora's back.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 88,906 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 2/8/2015 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Angeline F., Artemis F., Butler, Holly S.
Over Duncade by efka-zoi reviews
Butler awaits Artemis's return from Hybras in the remote village of Duncade. He begins to consider the possibility that this waiting might not end in their reunion. Oneshot.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,273 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/24/2014 - Butler - Complete
What Children Believe by efka-zoi reviews
In the wake of the Fowl Star disaster, Artemis must decide what he believes in - and Butler must decide if he can believe in Artemis. Oneshot.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,718 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Published: 6/13/2014 - Artemis F., Butler - Complete
Alexander the Great: An Unfortunate Twist by Beckett Simpleton reviews
Something's going on underground... kidnapping, human magic, and cloning turns Alexander's life upside down. Politics and relationships are doing nothing to help... Artemis is fighting a losing battle again, but now it's against his beliefs as well.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Crime - Chapters: 13 - Words: 23,447 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/30/2012 - Published: 4/24/2011 - Artemis F., Holly S.
The Little Metal Boy by Epitome of Randomness reviews
"Once upon a time, there was a little boy, and he was made of metal. I know, you know this one, my dear, but the best stories are the ones we hear a hundred times." Saying goodbye to the Artemis Fowl series.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,499 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/27/2012 - Published: 7/22/2012 - Artemis F., Holly S.
A Twist in the Story by PadFootWasHere reviews
Asylums,Packs,and missing pieces of Victor and Logan's past. Will Cora be able to change the brothers for the better or will she only make things worse.OFC.WARNINGS:darkhumor/humor,romance,lots of cursing,and violence. set mostly during X-Men Origins.
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 17 - Words: 27,807 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/8/2012 - Published: 10/11/2011 - Logan/Wolverine, Sabretooth - Complete
Weapon X: Man or Animal by justsimplymeagain reviews
No longer James Howlett, Jimmy, Logan or Wolverine but Weapon X who was rescued from one of many bases. It's now up to Victor and the X-Men to rehabilitate him. Can it be done? Will Victor and Logan be brothers or enemies? Sequel to "Return of Weapon X"
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 67,667 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 4/3/2012 - Published: 8/17/2011 - Sabretooth, Logan/Wolverine
Hunter of the Shadows Book 3: Enemy at the Door by skag trendy reviews
On the run from John Winchester, Sam, Dean and Tobius head for safety, only to encounter a battle ground where the rules keep changing and the foe turns out to be far smarter and more dangerous than ever imagined. But, just who is this faceless enemy?
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 123,542 - Reviews: 850 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 4/2/2012 - Published: 12/29/2011 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
Dead Bodies by chaletian reviews
For two minutes, the car was filled with writhing and caterwauling. Then blessed silence. John loved this game. Wee!chester fluff.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,060 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/9/2012 - John W., Dean W. - Complete
Return of Weapon X by justsimplymeagain reviews
With the slow return of memories comes an old project along with an animal worse the he is. Will Logan be recaptured and turned back to the weapon he was? Will the animal of a brother be of any help to Logan when it counts or become a problem too?
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: M - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,944 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/17/2011 - Published: 1/3/2011 - Logan/Wolverine, Sabretooth - Complete
The Days of Our Lives by J. Finch reviews
A series photographic moments in the lives of Juliet and Artemis, together and apart. Both pre-, present and post-canon in nature. Updated erratically.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,448 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/15/2011 - Artemis F., Juliet B.
The Driver Behind The Campaign by P.J. Lowry reviews
Frank Martin gets a new job from the last person he thought would ever want to hire his services...
Transporter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,940 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/9/2011 - Published: 2/25/2009
Along Came A Spider by Beckett Simpleton reviews
Butler decides to introduce Artemis to some rational thinking when he freaks out over a spider. Artemis is about three. Oh! Two shot! Years later, Butler stumbles upon Artemis with unsuspected eight-legged company
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,055 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/5/2011 - Published: 9/11/2010 - Artemis F., Butler - Complete
The Half Time Show by KKCopper reviews
Various stories that I imagined to occur between the books. WARNING: Stories may cause laughter. Rated T cause Im paranoid XD
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,512 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/3/2011 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Butler, Artemis F.
Shimmy by saberivojo reviews
The boys, John and the Impala.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Family/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 715 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/3/2011 - John W., Sam W.
Unconventional: The Angeline Diaries by Bellephont17 reviews
Ever wonder just how Artemis Fowl I met Angeline Fowl? Of course, we have gotten hints and snippets, but the true story eludes us. No longer, my friends.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,568 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/26/2011 - Angeline F., Artemis F. Senior - Complete
Darkness Falls by skag trendy reviews
Sam loses something precious and the Winchesters are stumped. They can't figure out the 'how' but, worse than that, they can't figure out the 'cure'. Specially requested by MysteryMadchen. With supporting cast of John, Bobby and Pastor Jim.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,242 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/18/2011 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
Fowl and Fairy by AriTeir reviews
A collection of drabbles and oneshots detailing everything my little brain can come up with. Unexpected marriage, small town gossip, hair styling, Butler's Academy days it's all in here and more!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,343 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/11/2011 - Published: 12/26/2010
The Things We Cherish by CieloCrimisi reviews
TPG contest entry. Takes place between Artemis Sr.'s disappearance and the events of AF 1. Features some slightly depressing Butler and Artemis fluffiness. No, not that kind of fluffiness. Sorry.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,795 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/25/2010 - Artemis F., Butler - Complete
Gunner has his say by skag trendy reviews
Set early Season 5, post The End. Part of my 'Gunner 'verse'. Follows 'And so the little ball of fluff took over' and 'All it took was a ball of fluff'. Limp Sam, of course.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,134 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
I'll still love you, even when you'r old and rusty by Marlowe97 reviews
Sometimes, your loved ones hurt you, and you can't change a damn thing...
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,795 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/25/2010 - Dean W., Sam W. - Complete
Brothers in Blood by Kalfu reviews
For the last fifteen years, Logan has been wandering with no idea who he is-who he was. It was his minds way of protecting him, thats what Charles Xavier said. But what happens when his mind no longer sees any need? The year was 1944 and Logan remembers.
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 89,809 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Logan/Wolverine, Sabretooth - Complete
Hunter Of The Shadows book 2: Hunter Rising by skag trendy reviews
FOR DARKSUPERNATURAL on her special day. The long awaited sequel. All that matters is friends and family, but sometimes the past will have its say, and the rising of a new kind of hunter doesn't help matters.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 120,392 - Reviews: 874 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
Why One Must Not Attempt To Analyze A Child Genius by fiercejinx reviews
"Artemis Fowl had retired half a dozen counselors from St. Barleby's already this year." Here's how. Six chapters, one for each psychologist losin' it.'
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,547 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 1,347 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 6/4/2010 - Published: 5/20/2010 - Artemis F. - Complete
The Papillon of Dublin by Justine Themis reviews
When Artemis was six years old, he solved the mystery of the stolen Mayoral Jewels of Dublin. One Shot. Inspired by the Gnommish codes in the first Artemis Fowl book.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,253 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Published: 2/12/2010 - Artemis F., Butler - Complete
One Man Whorehouse by Art3misX reviews
Artemis requests just a little help from Butler in choosing the 'correct' Autumn Festival date. No slash.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 707 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Artemis F., Butler - Complete
First Meetings by skabs reviews
How Butler first met his charge, and the first person Butler threatened for him. One-shot
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,239 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 30 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Artemis F., Butler - Complete
Artemis Fowl: The Dawn Breaker by Jack of the Blades reviews
Post The Time Paradox. Artemis and Holly have returned to their normal lives, but memories from their latest escapade still haunt them. While they still gather their thoughts, a new enemy surfaces, one with the power to topple all civilization.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 39,731 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 10/7/2009 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S.
The Great Noodle Incident by TraSan reviews
One beautiful, Minnesota winter's afternoon, three small boys, one tiger - and a monster. Wee!chester fic. Complete
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,030 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/4/2009 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
Hunter Of The Shadows by skag trendy reviews
Top Secret Fic for Darksupernatural. Happy Birthday! Teenage Sam and Dean on a hunt with their father, but when things go badly wrong it drastically alters the Winchester family dynamics. Will the boys survive? Lots of LIMP Sam and Protective Dean.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 28 - Words: 107,485 - Reviews: 1056 - Favs: 531 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 7/14/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better by LittlePurpleMonster reviews
After a hunt, Sam and Dean find themselves in a little predicament. 1st Fic. Rated T for minor swearing. ON HIATUS UNTIL I CAN BE BOTHERED WITH IT AGAIN :
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,792 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/22/2009 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Dean W., Sam W.
Always there by Komiyan reviews
Where ever Artemis goes, Butler will always go with him. But when a boy enters puberty, that which has felt reassuring before will be embarrassing when he grows older... Artemis tries to get past his security, but butler has some tricks up his sleeve...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,788 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/25/2008
Don't Underestimate Me! by Turin resurrected reviews
Artemis and Butler, the ideal team? Backtrack to their early days: Toddler Artemis refuses to let Butler 'order' him and the Green Beret commander would rather die than admit that he has finally met his match IN A ONE YEAR OLD BABY!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,726 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 12/30/2006 - Butler, Artemis F. - Complete
Artemis Behind The Wheel by LadyTyrant reviews
Artemis is not good at driving and Butler, as his teacher, is yelling advice and such at him.Better then summary. Artemis is off character slightly.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 852 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/12/2007 - Artemis F., Butler - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Just Reckoning reviews
A jump into the life of D.Butler. At thirteen he's a lean, mean, fighting machine. Maybe too lean. The Major knows something is up. He's suspected it for a while now, but he's been biding his time. Some things are best approached with all the caution awarded to a live bomb; highly-trained, defensive, teenage nephews are one of them. Of the "From The Rough" fic-set. WARNINGS APPLY.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 100,824 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 3/22/2016 - Published: 1/12/2016 - Artemis F. Senior, Butler, Major, OC - Complete
Little Remedies reviews
Take dosage daily as many times as required to relieve symptoms of stress associated with school, college, exams and/or work etc. Repeat prescriptions may be necessary. Results may vary. LATEST CHAPTER: A snippet of a potential larger fic to be posted, subject to popularity. The Academy took up a lot of his time, but when he wasn't there, things were tough in a different sense...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 120,666 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 1/10/2016 - Published: 12/3/2010
The Twelve Days of Christmas reviews
Twelve short (ish) ficlets for you to enjoy, based on the verses of the song of the same title and featuring our favourite big guy. And a few friends, of course. Some longer than others: various years, themes and company. Disclaimer: Maybe don't read at the Christmas dinner table, unless you are quick-thinking enough to come up with a good answer as to why you're smirking...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,580 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/24/2014
All in a Night's Work reviews
CO-AUTHORED BY STEINBOCK. Everyone has a past-some people's are just more hidden than ere may be valid reasons for it,but regardless this fic-set will aim to reveal just some select snippets of the people, places and experiences that shaped the world's best bodyguard into what he is today. Latest Chapter: A not-at-all-sensible sneak-peek at The Gang on Fanfic. Nuff said. Enjoy!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,808 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 11/12/2014 - Published: 8/11/2012 - Butler, Juliet B., Madame Ko, Major
Dead in Absentia reviews
Extract: "Butler understood the emotions battering his young charge. He too had lost someone aboard the Fowl Star... Unfortunately, The Major's body had turned up in a Tchersky morgue." - Hadn't it? This is the story of the Butler before 'The Butler'. COMPLETE
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 21 - Words: 90,862 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/5/2012 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Major, Butler - Complete
Questions and Answers reviews
Questions put to a few Artemis Fowl characters and - obviously otherwise there would be no point in this - their answers : Progress Status rated on whether anyone asks me for more! Finally updated and upped to a K plus because of mild bad language.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,148 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/8/2011 - Published: 2/8/2009
In the Path of Bullets reviews
It's happening again. A theatre show, dinner at a posh restaurant...followed by arguments,explosions,car chases and hostage situations.When will the Fowls learn that there's no such thing as a quiet night out?It's a good job they've got Butlers around...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 59,233 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 11/23/2011 - Published: 11/10/2011 - Butler, Major - Complete
One Painkiller or Two reviews
Can the Fowls go anywhere without something injury-inducing happening? Apparently not. Expect the usual beatings from and to Butler, along with the sense of humor that goes with it. I swear one of the genres used to be Action... Drama will have to do.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,597 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/23/2010 - Published: 12/16/2010 - Butler, Major - Complete
The That Look Incident reviews
"Juliet did what she was told without complaint. Butler had that look on his face. The last time she had seen that look, her brother had punched his way through the hull of a Somali pirate's stolen yacht, sinking the vessel in the Gulf of Aden"NO SPOILERS
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,620 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/1/2010 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Butler, Major - Complete
What's in a Name? reviews
Has anyone out there got an embarrassing middle name? Apparently so it would seem. One-shot. Or at least it would have been if I hadn't been told about the tourguide incident. Technically it's a Two-Shot now.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,244 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/5/2010 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Butler, Juliet B. - Complete
Thou Shalt Not Swear reviews
Artemis discovers a gap in his knowledge and sets out to fill it... everyone else is determined to stop him. The Butler's have a little adventure too...and all of this brings about some interesting consequences.Go on read it... you know you're intrigued!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,662 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Butler, Artemis F. - Complete
Four Man Caravan reviews
Butler, his two brothers Rob and Tom and their Dad go on a camping trip. Set when Butler was a kid. Not very interesting? You'd be surprised...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,680 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Butler - Complete
One Fowl Christmas reviews
This is a Xmas Story that has lots of my Other Characters in it.Doesn't have much Artemis in it but it does have some relatives of the Fowls and the Butlers. It's a big family reunion sort of thing!Only rated K for a bit of violence & 1 implied kiss!:D
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,267 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Butler, Juliet B. - Complete
Winter Wonderland reviews
Just another little story about Artemis's childhood! A Christmas one though! :D
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,853 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Butler, Artemis F. - Complete
Under The Ledge reviews
No, this has nothing to do with "Over The Hedge"! It's about Butler and Root while they were trapped under the ice ledge in TAI.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,269 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Butler, Julius R. - Complete
Just My Cup Of Tea reviews
A little episode of a young Artemis trying to be nice! It all goes a bit pearshaped though! My first FanFic! Hope you like it! :D by the way Eoin Colfer owns everything! except the cup of tea! I thought made it with an imaginary kettle so it is mine!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,724 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Butler, Artemis F. - Complete