VampireWizard93
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Poll: What is more AWESOME-er Cheese or Twizzlers! debate about it at the bottom of the page! Vote Now!
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Joined 12-02-08, id: 1759340, Profile Updated: 08-11-10
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

PIC commentary: ...num num num...

Whats up my fellow humanoids! so i'm just sittin here...doin this...yeah! I am the Vampire Wizard! oooooooooooooooo! BLAH,BLAH,BLAH!!... I HAVE TAKEN OVER VampireWizard93's PROFILE! HEHEHE! MUAHAHAHAHA! This is Raynie Dai and i am going to screw up my best-est friends profile! but, she is my fangirl dance buddy! so i luv her;)

Hey, VP93 here again. Raynie Dai is a freak! -Raynie Dai in the background saying "What was your first clue?! HEHE!"-

some info about me:

age: wait, do you count the years i have lived or my physical being?!

sex: Everday with a VERY sexy vampire or a certain VERY sexy twizzler eating shapeshifter (HE IS NOT A WEREWOLF!) I tried getting the two together, but... lets just say... that i had to replace more than just my bed!!

location: spoons washington, i wanted to go to forks but i took a wrong turn at Albuquerque, New Mexico!

race: Immortal DUH!!

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Nobody should be now, because I tamed him!

Random Stuff!! Random dancing!!

in a skit intitled: Twizzler VS. Cheese

STARRING:

RD SIGNS IN

VP93 SIGNS IN

Raynie Dai= (totally awesome) RD for Cheese

VampireWizard93=(Ginormuos nerd!!) VP93 for Twizzlers

RD: Hey, VP93 you know what's better than chicken butt?!

VP93: nothing is better than chicken butt...maybe Taylor Lautner butt...

RD: I think i just drooled a little...MMMM...He is HHHHHHOT!! I have a thong with team taylor printed on it! but back to the subject at hand! no whats better than chicken butt...(but only a little worse than TAYLOR's butt) is CHEESE!!

VP93: i don't think so ! TWIZZLERS are totally better than CHEESE! we kill you!! we conquer all!! WE WILL RULE THE WORLD!! (ok, maybe not the whole world! but we totally got reign over Pluto and most of the world!)

RD:...I have to go now but we WILL finish this argument l8ter!!...DUM,DUM,DUUUM!!

VP93: ...oh its on like Donkey Kong!!...BRING IT!!

RD: GRRRRRR!!

RD SIGNS OUT

VP93: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU BETTER RUN!!

VP93 SIGNS OUT

RD SIGNS IN

RD: OMG!! I JUST FIGURED OUT WHAT THOSE 6 ASTARICS MEANT!! GRRR... I am going to get you, VP93!!

VP93 SIGNS IN

VP93: what does it mean? i'm drawing a complete blank here...

RD: -STEAM COMING OUT OF EARS- YOU VERY WELL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!! IT.MEANS...CHEESE!!

VP93: ...oh...yeah...i forgot about that...sure it means cheese...it can mean whatever you want it to mean...:)

RD: Thats what she said!!

VP93: who?...wait what?...ow, my brain hurts!

RD: WHO: YOUR MOM!! and you heard me thats what she said!!...CHEESE RULEZ!!

VP93: no!! your mom totally love Twizzlers more! she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings!

RD: Your just mad that twizzlers SUCK and cheese is GOUDA!! TEEHEE!!

VP93: OMG! i just got that!! thats so funny!! hahahahahahahaha!...Twizzlers are still better!!

RD: NO WAY!! Here lets name the many flavor of each of our food i will start! CHEEDER!

VP93: STRAWBERRY!!

RD: GOUDA!!

VP93: CHERRY!!

RD: COBY!!

VP93: coby?...hmmm...CHOCOLATE!!

RD: I meant colby and the next cheese is my least favorite... BLUE CHEESE!!

VP93: OOOOOOHHHH! i get it now!!giggle! now my least favorite...BLACK LICORICE! (...think i mighta spelled that wrong...)

RD: OOOH, GUESS WHAT?! I HAVE A KNOCK OUT POINT!! Cheese gives you tons of calcium but all twizzler -she said in a mocking voice- gives you cavities!!

RD SIGNS OUT

VP93 SIGNS OUT

Raynie Dai and I would like to sing you all a AWESOME song. it it intitled: do you like waffles?!

Raynie Dai: DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?!

VampireWizard93: YES I LIKE WAFFLES!!

Raynie Dai: DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES?!

VampireWizard93: YES I LIKE PANCAKES!!

Raynie Dai: DO YOU LIKE FRENCH TOAST?!

VampireWizard93: YES I LIKE FRENCH TOAST!!

IN UNISON: DOO DOO DOO CAN WAIT TO GET A MOUTH FULL!!

:D

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS :)

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Breaking Edward by browniechadowes reviews
AH. ExB. A jaded OCD Edward meets clumsy, disordered Bella. Will she be able to push him against his psychological boundaries? Rated M for future lemons and language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 77,833 - Reviews: 789 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 632 - Updated: 8/3/2014 - Published: 4/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
Emmett's Guide to Survive High School by TheBoleynLegacy reviews
With these tips invented by Emmett you are guaranteed to survive the most agonizing, miserable and painful years of your life, otherwise known as high school. co-author:Pink Vampire Skittle
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 57 - Words: 20,355 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 7/27/2013 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Emmett
One Night of Destiny by mrs.cullen116 reviews
Bella's a college student. she's got no time for a social life. what happens when she meets Emmett at a frat party? what does there future hold for them when she finds out she got pregnant by him that one night of carelessness and fun? LEMONY GOODNESS!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 72,489 - Reviews: 498 - Favs: 486 - Follows: 615 - Updated: 10/29/2012 - Published: 10/8/2010 - Bella, Emmett
Resident Geek by cdunbar reviews
Geeky Edward thinks he has absolutely no shot with the popular, beautiful Bella. Is he right, or will she be one of the many girls who thinks geeks make for better lovers? M for language, sexuality, and some underage drinking. A little OOC...ok, a lot OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 95,911 - Reviews: 5449 - Favs: 6,540 - Follows: 5,198 - Updated: 12/13/2011 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Heat by MrsDuckyFuzzles reviews
Bella and Charlie have a disturbing past. In effort to run from what's in her blood, they have been moving towns continuously, until she meets a cool-skinned Edward who trys to prevent her deepest fears from becoming a reality. Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 32 - Words: 94,524 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 12/2/2011 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
A second chance to get it right by sherry bisel reviews
What if Edward never came back and Bella was changed into a vampire without him? Someone in the Cullen is keeping secrets from the others and its about to come out. Co-written with Chevy-Girl. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,167 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 8/8/2011 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Bella, Emmett
Family and Love by jaley reviews
Emmett and Bella are siblings torn apart by their parents now after years they finally see each other again. The reunion brings more than just a brother. Sorry the title isn't great.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,527 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 1/3/2011 - Published: 9/12/2008 - Bella, Edward
Coven Reunion's by StrawberryMopet reviews
200 years after Edward left Bella and he he hanging on by a thread. All he has left to live for is the need for knowledge of what happened to his mate. What will he find when they go back to Forks? Post NM. RxEm, AxJ, CxEs. Rated M for possibilities. (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,335 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Edward
Hello, You Must Be My Sex Therapist by venom with love reviews
Bella is a sex therapist. Her new client just so happens to be Edward, who is a virgin that comes to her for help. All Human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,831 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 506 - Follows: 847 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Edward, Bella
Possibly Sufferable by Riiko Shea reviews
Everyone's getting married... everyone except Ron and Hermione. Harry decides Ron needs a little push to get him to pop the question, and what better way to push him than initiating a little bet?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,315 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 8/24/2010 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Blissful Reunion by Twilighterheart xxxx reviews
This is my version of what should have happened when Bella and Edward returned from Italy - smut
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,248 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 21 - Published: 6/20/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Reunion by KeepersOfTheNaughtySparkle reviews
Edward,once a geek, and Bella secretly crushed on each other since high school. Can their 10 year reunion bring them together? Is one night enough to squelch a decade old passion or will it fan the flames into an unquenchable fire. Lemmony/AU/AH/B&E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 189,747 - Reviews: 3557 - Favs: 3,772 - Follows: 2,177 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Psychotic SuperPowered Vampirism by Pastiche Pen reviews
Uh, "Edward never came back," and Bella goes crazy. Not just "hearing a hot voice in my head" crazy but medically insane. Yeah, and she has a superpower and wants revenge. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 27,644 - Reviews: 810 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 3/15/2010 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
If Love Could Light a Candle by Pastiche Pen reviews
Edward Cullen: telepath, vampire, and psychologist. When a new patient ignites unfamiliar feelings in his soul, can he reconcile his past with his future? A la Midnight Sun. Warnings: Violence, lots of character death, and the usual. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 13 - Words: 112,620 - Reviews: 2872 - Favs: 3,177 - Follows: 1,581 - Updated: 9/25/2009 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Pink Fluffy Pencil Case by CrystalBrooke reviews
AH. No one talks to Edward Cullen. He's the weird emo kid with the sexy hair and black skinny jeans. He denies he wears guyliner, but he totally does. Bella is the new girl, and doesn't get why he hates her. Never judge a person by their pencil case...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 47,495 - Reviews: 2787 - Favs: 2,052 - Follows: 1,235 - Updated: 9/17/2009 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Pretend I Am Him by Aly-Cat101 reviews
Hermione attends to make Ron jealous by going out with Draco, But what happens when Draco takes control of his options Leaving Hermione scarred. RATED 4 LATER CHAPTERS which will be censored . RON X HERMIONE. OOCness.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,325 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Are you Nervous by Torqueo Animadverto reviews
All of the Cullens are still in school. During gym class, Mike decides to play a little game with Bella which doesn't leave Edward too happy.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,872 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Complete
Impossibly Insufferable by Riiko Shea reviews
Ron and Hermione have been fighting, and Ginny and Harry are sick of it. So the four make a bet that Ron and Hermione can't live in the same house for two weeks without one walking out... or them getting back together. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 46,972 - Reviews: 537 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 7/5/2009 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Nymph and the Waterfall by Pastiche Pen reviews
Someone is spying on Bella at an "inconvenient" time. There's a gnome and a crap ex-best friend. All-human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 84,166 - Reviews: 3114 - Favs: 3,164 - Follows: 1,069 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Final Act by twilightfan4life92 reviews
When Bella's past come back to haunt her and destroy her life, Abigail Lynn must step up to the plate, save her family, and destroy the man trying to take away everything her mother has built up. Sequel to Blessings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 38,744 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 5/19/2009 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Renegade Characters by browniechadowes reviews
Stephenie gets a little annoyed when her characters try to alter/comment on her novel, Twilight. Rated M for language mainly due in part to Jessica's inner dialogue
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 23,901 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Glitter of Doom by browniechadowes reviews
Take 2. The characters of the Twilight series are back, and they are kicking butt and taking names commenting/altering New Moon. Rated M for general lack of a language sensor.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 32,347 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Triangle of Shippiness by browniechadowes reviews
Take 3. Oh, you bet they're back again, the characters of Twilight, going big or going home, altering/commenting Eclipse. Rated M for serious lack of dirty mouth filter.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 31,937 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stephenie Meyer and the Uterus of Steel by browniechadowes reviews
Hey all, I'm back, dragging the Twilight characters kicking and screaming into the final installment of the Twilight parodies. Rated M for... well, have you read Breaking Dawn? *shudders*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 41 - Words: 41,745 - Reviews: 338 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
50 Things To Do When You're Bored by Lost in Believing reviews
50 Things To Do When You're Bored. Cullen Style. You never know what could happen in the Cullen Household. Hilarity ensured for some chapters. Sometimes other people are brought into the craziness...All 50 Things To Do When You're Bored. Now Complete!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 76,434 - Reviews: 3228 - Favs: 948 - Follows: 438 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 7/3/2008 - Complete
Bloody Imprint by yesterdaysmaybe reviews
Takes place at the end of New Moon. What if Jacob were to imprint on Edward? Can he put his pride and predudice aside for their love? Caution: Yaoi. No Likeie, no readie.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,934 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 4/10/2009 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Jacob, Edward
Forever by arbitrarygirl reviews
During a bank robbery, Edward and Bella meet and hide out in a men's restroom. What happens when they're separated? Will they ever see each other again? All Human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,744 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 4/1/2009 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Edward's Little Slave by Raynie Dai reviews
Bella an unsuspecting girl who goes out for a book and gets captured for a vampire auction. Edward is a depressed lonely vampire now part of the Volturi who looks for somethink or someone but he just doesnt know it yet. Does Edward bid or not.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,296 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 2/16/2009 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Bella, Edward
Stupid Cupid! by Raynie Dai reviews
Bella just relized that she has never fallen in love, so she desides that is what she is going to wish for on her 21st birthday, for love! And thats what she gets, love a.k.a cupid!But as the saying goes be careful what you wish for it just might come tru
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,949 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/9/2009 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Secrets in a Shoebox by truecolour reviews
Four years ago Hermione Granger left England to go after what she thought she always wanted. Now back from University she finds that some things have changed but that many things haven't.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,063 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 12/17/2008 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Hermione G., Ron W.
How To Annoy The Characters Of Twilight by Number-1- Twilighters reviews
The ultiamate list of ways to annoy our favorite charaters. Really funny! R&R
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 10,614 - Reviews: 447 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 12/5/2008 - Published: 10/2/2008 - Complete
Blessings by twilightfan4life92 reviews
After Edward leaves, Bella dates and ends up marrying a new student named Matt. He turns out to be abusive and, after being almost killed, Bella goes to the hospital. Her doctor is Carlisle. He desides to bring Bella to The Cullen Home for protection. EXB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 62,646 - Reviews: 676 - Favs: 532 - Follows: 257 - Updated: 10/26/2008 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Complete
BubbleGum Champion by Heartbroken1 reviews
FINAL CHAPTER IS NOW UP...Edward discovers that Bella has a talent he didn't know about. He should have never told his brothers about it. Let the teasing begin. I changed the rating to M... still only innuendoes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,431 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 10/25/2008 - Published: 10/26/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Speak! by Riiko Shea reviews
Harry and Ron are practicing Silencing charms when Hermione comes over and makes a big confession... oneshot Ron/Hermione
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,229 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Let's play a game by Rosette-Cullen reviews
While babysitting Bella when the rest of the family is on a hunting trip, Emmett gets an idea to strip-poker. When one thing leads to another, what could happen? EmXB smut.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,807 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 72 - Published: 8/16/2008 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
Riddles by runaway xo reviews
Riddles are always fun, but what happens when the jokes relate to vampires? Fluff of course! Pre-Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,507 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 33 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Complete
Apples For My Teacher reviews
Bella gives birth to Reneesme after the cullens leave, then is turned by Laurent. 30 years later she comes back to Forks as an English teacher only to find out she has some familiar students
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,976 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 335 - Follows: 319 - Updated: 8/10/2010 - Published: 2/8/2009