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Joined 12-03-08, id: 1759816, Profile Updated: 06-12-11
Author has written 6 stories for Misc. Books, and Twilight.

My name is Tessa. I'm 15 and I love to dance.

I am a Twilight fan, but not hardcore. I love the books, movies are okay, but not over-obsessive about it. I thought I would never find anything better than Twilight...but I did. Literally. The book Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick is literally better and even more addicting than Twilight. Before you go insulting me that nothing is better than Twilight, give the book a chance. It really is better, I swear.


Bands: Evanescence, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Nickelback, Hollywood Undead, Asking Alexandria, All That Remains, As I Lay Dying, Brokencyde, Dot Dot Curve, Eyes Set To Kill, The Fire Restart, Mainstream Scare, Alesana, Theory of a Deadman, Slipknot, Disturbed, Paramore, A Perfect Circle, Shinedown, Breaking Benjamin, Eminem, Flyleaf, Godsmack, Halestorm, Mudvayne, Papa Roach, Seether, Skillet, and Smile Empty Soul.

Movies: The Nightmare Before Christmas, Alice In Wonderland, Haunting In Connecticut, Thirteen, The Hangover, Pineapple Express

TV Shows: Fresh Prince, The Nanny, Pretty Little Liars, South Park, Tosh.0, George Lopez, Malcolm In The Middle

"There's yellow marshmallows in the sky and pink mushrooms on the roof!" -Me walking home from school one day with Brittany.

"immmmm innn the tunkel"-theres a story to that lol. me and brittany were on a roller coaster with a tunnel in it and she texted someone while we were in the tunnel and she said "i think i spelled tunnel wrong" so she checked it when we got off the ride and thats what it said instead. might not rly be funny but you have to be as retarded as us to think it is...

As said before, Evanescence and Linkin Park are some of my favorites. Brittany used to think Evanescence was a scary emo band and she used to not like Linkin Park, but not anymore! happy suicide song...I was talking to Brittany one day and she said "we need a happy song" so i put on tourniquet (by evanescence) and she made a face (she didn't like evanescence at the time) and I said "its a song about suicide" and she said "ya its not a happy song." and i said "its a happy song to me okay?!" it was funny. so now i call it my happy suicide song.

ya ik i tell stories alot...especially ones that are mainly inside jokes and nobody thinks are funny cause they werent there...but oh well! if you dont like it then go to a different profile...

A good friend helps you when you fall, a best friend is the cause of your falling in the first place.

A good friend asks you why you're crying, a best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be in the cell sitting next to you saying "Damn! That was fun! Let's do it again!"

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this to your profile

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready-made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a best friend will be in the room next to you yelling "DAMN THAT WAS FUN! LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding.
My friends are the kind of people that would spend hours trying to drown a fish. ...But I love them to death!

i have the kind of friends that say "my armpit hair grows fast." for NO reason in the middle of a restaraunt. i have the kind of friends that help you set up redneck horseshoes with croquet items. then break one of the malletts with a rock my trying to smash it in the ground for the pole, and have to break into their own garage with a credit card to get duct tape to fix it. i have the kind of friends that dont look at you weird or ask what your doing when u start covering a tissue box with said duct tape and decorating it with sharpies.

Bella: "It's...a cow."
Edward: "No, Bella. It's a dinosaur. Of course it's a cow!"
Bella: "You...want me to eat it?"
Edward: "No. I want you to throw a stick at it and see if it brings it back."
Bella: "Feeling a little sarcastic today?"
Edward: "Just a bit."

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.

2. The future is not set in stone.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

5. True love knows no boundaries.

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.

8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!

9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porsche 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

13. Family is about more than just blood.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

18. There are exceptions to every rule.

19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

22. Cold hands = Warm heart.

23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

25. Romeo was an idiot.

26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.

27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise

Tongue Twisters (Say Aloud)

1. Which wristwatches are swiss wristwatches?

2. Freshly fried flying fish (x5)

3. Greek grapes (x5)

4. A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

5. Sixish (x5)

6. Nine new noisy, nosy, annoying neighbors.

7. Toy boat (x5)

8. Swan swam over the sea. Swim, Swan, swim! Swan swam back again. Well swum, swan!

9. I thought a thought but the thought I thought was not the thought I thought I thought.

10. Mixed Biscuits (x5)

11. Please pay promptly (x5)

12. Quick kiss. Quicker kiss. (x5)

13. Shredded Swiss Cheese (x5)

14. Six short slow shepherds (x5)

15. Purple Paper People (x5)

16. Soar owned a seasaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw, Before Soar saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw. But it was sad to see Soar so sore, just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!

17. A big black bear bit the big black bug and made the big black bug bleed black blood.

18. Betty Botter bought a bit of butter. Th butter Betty bought was a bit bitter, and made her batter bitter. But a bit of better butter makes the batter better. So, Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter, and it made her batter better.

Write 11 of your fave Twilight characters in whatever order and follow the instructions below:

1. Emmett

2. Seth

3. Bella

4. Jacob

5. Leah

6. Renesmee

7. Jasper

8. Alice

9. Edward

10. Charlie

11. Edward

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? Renesmee and Edward. I guess.

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Jacob? Hell yeah!!!

3) What would happen if Eleven got Eight pregnant? Edward got Alice pregnant. Jasper and Bella would be pissed.

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Edward? Tons.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? Seth and Nessie. Maybe.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Leah/Edward or Leah/Charlie. Hmmm...leah/edward.

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and One in an awkward situation? If Jasper walked in on Seth and Emmett. I don't really know...

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic Using at least twenty words. Bella/Charlie...Bella gets mad at Jacob and goes to Charlie for help. Charlie gets mad and takes a trip to the Reservation for a "friendly chat" with Jake.

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? Emmett/Alice. Ew, I hope not. But there probably is in some weird story someone wrote.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Ten Hurt/Comfort fic. Jasper/Charlie. "Haunting Memories"

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One? Jacob to go out with Emmett? Someone challenges Jake to ask out Em, so he does. Another challenges Emmett to accept Jake's offer.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three slash? Bella slash. wtf is slash?

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? Edward. Tons of people do. So yes.

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Seth/Jacob/Leah. Yeah.

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? Charlie. "My daughter's a vampire?!"

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Alice. I have no clue.

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Ten fic, what would the warning be? Emmett/Nessie/Charlie. WARNING: COULD GET EXTREMELY CUTE.

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? Charlie to use on Seth. "Wanna have a gay pedophile as a boyfriend?"

50 Things You Never Knew About Me:

1. What color is your toothbrush?

white and blue (hey that's my school's colors!)

2. Name one person who made you smile today:


3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning:


4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

on facebook

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

kit kat

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?


7. What is the last thing you said aloud?

"Okay, bye." I was talking on the phone with my friend.

8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

chocolate mint chip

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?


10. What is your lip gloss of choice?


11. What was the last thing you ate?

toaster strudel

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?


13. The last sporting event you watched?

the superbowl.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

they come in flavors?

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?


16. Ever go camping?


17. Do you take vitamins daily?


18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

Yes, even though I'm atheist.

19. Do you have a tan?


20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?


21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?


22. What did your last text message say?

haha okay :)

23. What are you doing tomorrow?

going to dance

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

the door and vacuum cleaner

26. What color is your watch?


27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?


28. What is your birthstone?

garnet. i hate it. its poop colored.

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

drive thru

30. What is your favorite number?


31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?

my mom

32. Any plans today?


33. How many states have you lived in?

just one. the one i am in now.

34. Biggest annoyance right now?


35. Last song listened to?

If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

no lol

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?

its called the daughter that gets a free room and food (cough ME cough)

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?


39. Are you jealous of anyone?

everyone is jealous of someone

40. Is anyone jealous of you?

i know a few people who are jealous of my hair, though I don't see what's so special about it

41. Do you love anyone?


42. Do any of your friends have children?

no. wait. yes. nadean is my mother actually :) not for real...its an inside joke thing

43. What do you usually do during the day?


44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?


45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?


46. What color is your car?

invisisble. my moms car is dark dark dark blue though

47. Do you like cats?

eh. they're okay.

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?


49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?


50. How did you get your worst scar?

yeah...about that...let's not go there...

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.


x You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
x Dogs are better than cats.
x It's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
xShopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
xPlayed with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
x You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
x Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
xYou like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
xIt's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
x Talk with food in your mouth.
xSleep with your socks on at night



xYou wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
xYou wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
xYou like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
xYou like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
xYou were in gymnastics/dance?
xIt takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
x You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
xYou like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing



1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Freak this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?
my mom "okay"

Where are you?
in the computer room

Look up. Now look back. What do you see?
a hanger on the wall (dont ask...)

What's the last thing you ate?

toaster strudel.

Any piercings?

Nose and ears four times.

Piercings you want to get?

Tongue and however many more on my ears

Say "George Bush". What do you think of?
george washington. i always get the two mixed up lol

You now have a million dollars.
What do you do?
get a truck, move somewhere else, vacation cruise, shopping

What are you eating/drinking right now?

What are you writing RIGHT NOW?
stupid question much?

Find a globe. Spin it.
What does it say?
i haven't even seen a globe since like 5th grade.

Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18.
What does it say?
There isn't a book anywhere near me.

What can you hear right now?
Rockstar by Nickelback

Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.

I'm home alone.

Turn on the T.V.
There isn't one in this room.

Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes.
What's the first thing you see?
I'd rather not.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?



Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?

Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

Isnt it funny that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone

Are you laughing?

Isnt it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

Isnt it funny that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing

Its so funny that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

Isnt it funny that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.


Keep on laughing

Isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life

without knowing her situation with her friends

or her family

or her LIFE











keep on laughing if you agree put this on ur blog and advise others to do so screw THE EMO HATERS.

You catch more flies with honey but you catch more hunnies when you're flyyy :)

How come on St. Patrick's Day everyone wants to be Irish, but during Black History Month no one wants to be black?

Breaking News! The pity train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up and Move On, crashing into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get The Hell Over It. Reporting live from Quit Your Bitchin'.

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but that's still on the list.

Here is all you need to know about men and women: Men are dumb and women are crazy and the reason women are crazy is because men are dumb.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary, whose name and/or species you can't remember.

I'm not a perfect girl. My hair doesn't always stay in place and I spill things a lot. I'm pretty clumsy and sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends and I sometimes fight and maybe some days nothing goes right, but when I think about it and take a step back, I remember how amazing life truly is and that maybe, just maybe, I like being imperfect.

To my haters, I keep it real and that's a promise. I may be whatever you wanna call me but I'm honest. When I walk by, you stop and stare. Well, keep looking cause I don't care. I have my own life and style not trying to please you or smile. When it comes to competition, you're out, so shut you're hatin' self and keep me out of your mouth.

I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we really don't even have. Some of us say we'd rather have something than nothing at all, but the truth have something halfway is harder than not having it at all.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Damn, what a ride!"

Everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts, losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these with love, but in reality Love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain, and makes us feel wonderful again.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

The police never think it's as funny as you do.

There's always a little truth behind every "Just Kidding." A little knowledge behind every "I don't know." A little emotion behind every "I don't care." And a little pain behind every "It's okay."

Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall.

Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if I wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.

The saddest part isn't that with each passing day I feel like I need you more, but it's the fact that you don't need me at all.

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Hurting by SopranoandBass reviews
Bella has lived with Charlie all her life, and when Renee left he became abusive. When the Cullens move in next door, will Charlie be caught? I'll bet you can guess who comes to Bella's rescue! Canon pairings. AU: all human
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 46 - Words: 64,252 - Reviews: 629 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
life is like a rollercoaster by The Sunflower Child reviews
Bella is agressively changed by Laurent in the meadow, what if the wolves came too late? where Bella is now...Volterra, as daughter of Aro and princess who knows what will happen when the cullens come for a stay... PLEASE READ! oh and lemons included!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 42 - Words: 74,923 - Reviews: 418 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 1/18/2010 - Published: 5/16/2009
Ms Swan by SopranoandBass reviews
Edward never came back after he left in New Moon, Bella goes to college and has the normal life that Edward wanted her to have. Now, across the continent and at the age of 35, Bella is Edward's English teacher! Rated T for language, canon pairings
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,711 - Reviews: 521 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 10/21/2009 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
Renesmee's Twilight by fanpire4ever reviews
A few years post Breaking Dawn, Renesmee and Jake are finally a couple, and everything is fine until Nessie meets one of Jake's pack members. A female member. Will Jennifer break Jake and Nessie up?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,575 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Restarting old begginings by twihard-fanpire4ever reviews
After 127 years the Cullen's have returned to Forks. Bella's head is flipping through memories, running through questions, then being interrupted by a very familiar pair of lips.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,320 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/22/2009 - Published: 1/29/2009
One Step At A Time by ScarletRubie reviews
Nessie is 16 and has a chance at trying out the 'normal life' but as always secrets are told and things happen, many surprises are ahead for her but is she really ready for it? nessieXjacob Full summary inside -toodles.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 81,915 - Reviews: 724 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 11/26/2008 - Published: 9/10/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Struggling With Life reviews
Bella lives in Florida with Renee and Phil. She struggles with depression. The cause of it? Phil abuses her. When she runs away to Charlie, how does she deal with Jacob and Edward while going through one of the biggest surprises of her life?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,328 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/10/2011 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Bella
Unspoken Love reviews
Edward died 15 yrs ago during Breaking Dawn. Now, the Cullens run into a vampire that has an odd resemblance to their fallen brother. How do Bella, Nessie, and the others deal with this nomad and the secret he is hiding?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,168 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Bella
Newest Cullen Addition reviews
It is 6 years post Breaking Dawn. Jacob and Nessie are finally a couple. But when they get carried away one night, could the consequence be another member of the Cullen family?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 24,271 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Imperfections reviews
Desiree, a newborn, kills Demetri and Peter and Charlotte save her from the Volturi, whom now want her dead. When Peter asks the Cullen's to watch Desiree for a while, her and Renesmee grow a strong friendship that might pull Desiree to the family.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,831 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie
Love reviews
This is the story of a 17 year old girl, Ameira. Her mother died when she was only ten. Her father remarries the She-Devil herself. But when Ameira starts getting suspicious of an affair, what will happen?
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,025 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 1/19/2009
Worth It reviews
Tony, a 17 year old from Arizona faces a tragedy. How does he overcome it? He becomes an alcoholic. This is the story of a boy who overcomes the odds and quits his addiction and learns to live everyday like it was HIS last.
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,012 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 3/12/2009