Author has written 1 story for Star Trek: 2009.
Name: Well, technically its Jacqueline, but if you call me that I'll have to pull your spleen out through your throat. -points to pen name- Call me Jack.
Gender: Female, although I could pass as a dude if I really put my mind to it. XD
Age: That, I won't say. I'm in college. That's about all you need to know.
Hobbies/Likes: Drawing manga, watching/reading anime/manga, reading fanfiction, skateboarding, nature photography, writing, reading poetry, Edgar Allan Poe, James Patterson, Nora Roberts, Nightwish, yaoi, CSI, Dexter, hiking, surealism art, etc.
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
20. Put M&M’s on layaway.
21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello”
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
32. Take bets on the battle described above.
33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while
36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to
41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.
45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice
52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your
53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run
56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror
57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.
58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and
60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch
61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with
62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you
64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people
65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of
67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples
70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of
71. Hit on the elderly.
72. Hit on 5 year olds.
73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly
74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.
75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.
76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a
77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your
78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for
79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind
80. Excesively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.
81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.
82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say
83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your
85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms
86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the
87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to
88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,
89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department
90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.
91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn
92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that
93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while,
94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in
95. Light a match under a spinkler.
96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I
97. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my
98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a
99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen
101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.
BONUS Attempt all of the above during the same visit.
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