Author has written 5 stories for Heather Wells Mysteries.
B'day: 5 Sept
School: D.P.S. Mathura Road
Siblings: One brother (annoying beast)
Favorite Color: Torquoise and black
Pet: My mom wouldn't let me keep one : (
Hobbies : Reading books and fan fiction, playing basketball, hanging out with my best friend, watching TV, listening to music...
Favorite Movies: LOTR, Harry Potter, Pride and Prejudice, Oceans 11, Titanic, The Proposal, Finding Nemo, Confessions of a Shopoholic, Kung Fu Panda, A Cinderella Story, Mean Girls, Star Wars, Shrek Series and many more.
Favorite Authors: J.K. Rowling, , Stephanie Meyer, Mag cabot, Dan brown, Jane Austen
Favorite Book: Harry Potter, Pride and Prejudice, Heather wells mysteries, Hush hush, Vampire academy, etc.
Favorite Pairings: Dimitri/Rose, Heather/ Cooper, Elizabeth/Mr Darcy,
Music : Avril Lavigne, Simple Plan, Usher, Daughtry, Green day, Blue guilty, Shakira and Bollywood music.
Favorite Actors: Johnny Depp, Will Smith, Jim Carrey, Brad Pitt
Favorite Actresses: Kate Winslet, Sandra bullock
Favorite TV Shows: Two and Half Men, American Idol, 90210, Castle, CSI, Vampire diaries, Supernatural, The big bang theory..
Favorite Quote: "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why its called a present." -Kung Fu Panda
Stereotypes. If you hate them too, put this in your profile
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I SLIT MY WRISTS, so I MUST be a masochist.
I have a BLOODY DISCHARGE WHEN I PEE, so I MUST have a urinary tract infection.
I like BEANS, so I MUST fart all the time.
I THINK ABOUT JUMPING IN FRONT OF BUSES, so I MUST be suicidal.
I have a WET BACK, so I MUST be Mexican
I WAS RAISED BY APES, so I MUST be uncivilized
I ONCE SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE, so I MUST be an idiot
I BEAT PEOPLE UP WITHOUT REASON, so I MUST be a bully.
I am HORNY, so I MUST be meaning that in the sexual sense.
I AM THE LAZIEST MOTHER FUCKER IN THE WORLD, so I MUST have no motivation.
I have a BUTT PIERCING, so I MUST be weird.
I TALK WITH A LISP ON PURPOSE, so I MUST be an asshole.
I am ABUSIVE, so I MUST be an alcoholic as well.
I actually like BRUSSEL SPROUTS, so I MUST be inhuman.
I own a RED ELEPHANT, so I MUST be a part of the Grand Ol' Partay.
I have had FIVE ABORTIONS in my lifetime, so I MUST be bad at using a condom.
I constantly MAKE PUNS, so I MUST be an annoying loser with no friends
I have a PENIS, so I MUST be a DUDE.
I have a POODLE, so her name MUST be "Fluffy."
I HAVE HAIRY PITS AND LEGS, so I MUST be French.
I have NO LIFE, so I MUST be parodying a list of stereotypes and posting it on fanfiction.net
The Twilight Oath
I promise to remember Bella
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.
Girls are like
Copy and paste this to your profile if you think this is true.
6 Truths in your life:
1. You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue
2. Now you're trying this because you're an idiot
3. The first truth is a lie
4. Now you're smiling because you're an idiot
5. You wanna send it to other idiots
6. Then you're thinking: 'No, I'll put it on my profile'
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
"No, I don't have to. The only thing I have to do is die."
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
You say physco like it's a bad thing...
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed! (Gasp! :o)
What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? ;)
Love your enemies. It pisses them off.
Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
I don't obsess! I think intensely!
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Why be difficult when with just a little effort I can be impossible
If you have something to say now would be the perfect time to keep it to yourself
“Be quiet, you talk you ruin the chances of us getting out of here.” “Right. I’ll be as quiet as a mouse. They will never know we were here. I will stay in the background I will support…” “For being a mouse you sure do run your mouth”
One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.
I hear your silence loud and clear.
According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.
Tell the truth and run.
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.
Generally, generalizations are wrong.
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research.
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.
The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?
Whatever you are, be a good one.
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.
A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.
Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.
Education is important. School, however, is another matter.
When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.
What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
My mind works like lightning . . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *!"
"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'"
"Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... 'Nuff said."
Female come backs pick up line comebacks
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Well that sucks... I was getting quite good at it).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, that's only a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
Just want you back:
Heather engagement ring:
Heathers's locket (see the light):