VampyreGirl1996
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Joined 12-07-08, id: 1763184, Profile Updated: 03-06-09
Author has written 3 stories for Little House series, and Twilight.

Hey!! I'm Alyson/Aly. This is my side account to XxForeverDawnxX. You might know me...?

Anyway, yeah, that account has 12 stories and more than 600 faves, so I decided it was time to make account number 2, and so, VampyreGirl1996 was created!!

For those who DON'T know me, I'm 12, in seventh grade/secondary school, am ULTRA random. I am a MASSIVE Twilight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and HSM fan. I am totally dedicated to Avril Lavigne and am a FIRM & PROUD CHRISTIAN. I'm an Asia, so I have the typical Asian features, dark hair and dark eyes, and insanely-overdone tan due to the never-ending heat.

Oh yeah. And btw, this account is hopefully going to hold more HUMOR fanfictions. Actually I had no intention of writing humor, but when I attempted to do so in my main account, my awesome readers actually LIKED it!! Did I mention I love you people??

So, yeah. if you don't like the stories in this side account, please go to my main, XxForeverDawnxX. I hope my stories will bring you laughter and tears.

Luv ya,

VampyreGirl1996/Aly.


1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Thanks 2 Team-Edward3849 4 a bunch of this stuff.

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916

Rosalie Cullen: Better Than You Since 1916

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You Since 1901

Jasper Hale: Charminger Since 1843

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

TEAM ROSALIE: because deep down we all think she's awesome.

TEAM JASPER: because he can snap at me anytime.

TEAM ESME: because she's the coolest mother ever.

TEAM EMMETT: because we all love a guy with muscles.

TEAM EDWARD: because we wish all guys were this perfect.

TEAM CARLISLE: because all doctors should be this hot.

TEAM BELLA: because she's the luckiest girl that ever existed.

TEAM ALICE: because seeing things before they happen rocks.


FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him, brings him to you and forces him to marry you til death do you part.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't
waste!"

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Twilight: Breaking Dawn all over again by mpclover reviews
Bella is having a little baby boy! Jacob takes the couple to a parenting class, jane is out to destroy everything that Bella holds dear! ...and is Bella pregnant...AGAIN? Review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 43,145 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 8/7/2012 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Secret Prophecies by bexi21 reviews
A prophecy can be an interesting little thing, especially when it pertains to Bella Swan. AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 29 - Words: 167,693 - Reviews: 1013 - Favs: 664 - Follows: 752 - Updated: 8/26/2010 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Bella, Edward
It's not a secret I just can't tell you by xMainstreamEmoBrdlineHardcorex reviews
A/H A/U OOC. one bet: "I promise I will never fall in love with Bella Swan". Two hearts: "You said no secrets" Three meddling friends: "Dude! We gotta get them together!" Em, Jazz, Alice . Four boys after one heart. Five months to not fall in love. E B!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 12,482 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 12/1/2009 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Edward, Bella
Out of My Mind by bexi21 reviews
When Edward left Bella in Forks, his intention was to protect her from himself. But leaving her ignited something no one ever foresaw, not even Alice. Because of his decision, he’s killing her. Can Bella be saved before she's lost to Edward forever?OOC,AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 68,082 - Reviews: 470 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 450 - Updated: 9/17/2009 - Published: 8/25/2008 - Bella, Edward
Mothers and Fathers by Blue eyed vampwolf reviews
Esme finally found her power.The power to have children. Now she can also make other female vampire have children too.Esme asks if Bella, Alice, and Rosalie want to have children. What will happen when the guys find themselves with 4 pregnant she vampires
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,446 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 6/26/2009 - Published: 11/24/2007
Sorry by superstargirl818 reviews
What if Edward managed to get Rosalie away in Breaking Dawn? What if Edward had managed to get rid of the baby he thought a danger to his wife? What would this mean for Bella and Edward? Will the Cullens be able to survive their biggest challenge yet?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,157 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Life and Death of Edward Masen by Obsessively-Infatuated reviews
Edward's story of how he went from human, Edward Masen, to brooding, self-loathing vampire Edward Cullen and what shaped him into the man he became.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,052 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 4/23/2009 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Edward, Carlisle
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Reason for Existence reviews
Bella is killed by Renesmee's birth.The whole Cullen family treats her coldly except for Jacob.How will she deal with her meaningless existence?And when Bella returns,how will the Cullens deal with her resentment for their indifference towards Nessie?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 249 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/6/2009
Chateau De Fashione reviews
Alice gets revenge on Bella for ruining her new Amy Lee original, by forcing her to spend the night in Chateau De Fashione.Or rather-Alice's private room, where she keeps her cosmetics and clothes. Watch out,Bella-Alice is out for REVENGE. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 945 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Complete
A Whole New Life reviews
Laura's family is dead. Mary died of pneumonia,Carrie of malaria,and Grace, Ma&Pa of a house fire. Barely alive,Laura is saved by the Denali clan. When the coven goes to Edward's wedding years later,she meets someone who is supposed to be dead.TwilightXLH
Little House series - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/6/2009