Author has written 9 stories for Harry Potter, Supernatural, Lord of the Rings, and Twilight.
Funny Harry Potter and Anime Qouts and some random ones i find help to get on with life. oh and i hope you all enjoy my stories.
1.Dudley: They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice?
Harry: No, thanks. The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it -- it might be sick.
Harry potter and the philophers stone
2. when you fall, i'll be there to make it worse -the stairs
3. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Harry: So light a fire!
Hermione: Yes... of course... but there's no wood!
Ron: HAVE YOU GONE MAD! ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!
4. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Fred: Oh get out of the way, Percy. Harry's in a hurry.
George: Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant.
5. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Professor Trelawney: Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?
Ron (whispering to Harry): I don't need help. It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight.
7. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Ron to Pettigrew (with revulsion): I let you sleep in my bed!
8. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Fred Weasley: Anyone can speak Troll, All you have to do is point and grunt.
9. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Ron: Don't talk to me.
Hermione: Why not?
Ron: Because I want to fix that in my memory forever…
Ron (his eyes closed): Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret...
10. Luna Lovegood: No, I think I'll just go down and have some pudding and wait for it all to turn up... It always does in the end.
11. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Albus Dumbledore: Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are.
12. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Fred: He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.
13. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Auntie Muriel : You there, give me a chair, I'm a hundred and seven!
14. Girl #1 : You are what you eat.
Girl #2: Funny, i don't remember eating a sexy beast -A/N
15: Gimli: he was already dead
Legolas: he was twitching
Gimli: he was twitching because he's got my ax buried in his nervous system.
And things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts (I don't own any of these)
- I will not tell the First years, that are waiting to be sorted, you must confess your deepest secret aloud while wearing the hat.
- Starting a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making scheme.
- Asking "When are we going to learn to saw a lady in half?" is not appropriate.
- I am not allowed to hand out red shirts to all the DADA Professors and say they are standard uniforms.
- I will not hum the Darth Vader theme whenever Snape enters the room.
- There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts, and I am not it's founder.
- I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "get a room" whenever they start to fight.
- I will not teach the first years how to play chicken with the whomping willow.
- I will stop asking when we will make "Love Potion Number Nine."
- I will not scare the Arthmancy students with my Calculus book.
- I will not say "I see dead people" whenever a ghost is in the room.
- Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
- I am not allowed to ask Draco Malfoy where he gets his hair done.
- Yelling "to infinity and BEYOND!" was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.
- I am not allowed to enter Honeydukes and demand to see Willy Wonka.
- The next time I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
- I am not allowed to call Hermione's hair a squirrel.
- "Quidditch players do it in the air" T-shirts are not allowed.
- I will not put muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
- I am not allowed to make lightsaber noises with my wand.
- I must not throw Ms. Norris out windows.
- I am not allowed to suggest that the Gryffindor team practice by playing strip Quidditch.
- The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."
- I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyle by calling them by each others name.
- I will not refer to the Accio Charm as "The Force."
- I will not attempt to fuse the rules of chemistry with those of potions.
- If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer then 15 seconds, then I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
- The fact that there are three "Unforgivable Curses" does not mean that every other curse is "Pretty much forgivable."
- I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom closet.
- I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels."
- I am not allowed to use a fortune teller to make predictions in Divinations.
- Saying the Dark Mark should be Slytherin crest is wrong.
- I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
- I will not tell the first years that moon prism power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
- I am not allowed to tell Umbridge she takes herself to seriously.
- I am not to start a 'Who can blow up their cauldron first' contest in potions class.
- I will not owl Voldemort a bottle of Anti-depressents.
- I will not put a 'kick me' sign on Draco's back.
- I will not tell Snape to suck it after he takes off house points.
- 'I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name' is not a challenge.
- Puking pastilles are not to be tested in the Entranceway every hour on the hour.
- I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
- "OMGWTF" is not a spell.
- I wont sit in detention with Snape and ask him questions about his childhood.
- I am not allowed to start a beat-boxing club.
- I'm not on Surviver and there for I'm not allowed to vote people out of the common room.
- If Draco, Harry, or any other seeker gets on my nerves, I am not allowed to shout "fetch!" and through a little golden ball at them.
- I will not organize a Hogwarts fight club.
- I will not borrow Trelawny's tarot cards for a game of poker.
- I am not allowed to say that any of my witch relatives were crushed by a house.
- I will not post in the common rooms saying tomorrow is a theme day, wear a costume.
- I am not allowed to post fliers around Hogwarts saying that classes have been cancelled on Halloween.
- I am not allowed to re-enact a scene from Macbeth on Halloween.
- I am not allowed to sing thriller on Halloween, Nor am I to attempt to teach people the dance.
- It's probably isn't smart to insinuate that Draco Malfoy's hair glows in the dark.
- I will not teach the first years how to play 'the penis game' in the great hall during dinner.
- I will not hand out slips of paper asking students to answer the fallowing question: Do you think Snape is evil?
- Modifying the old 'pail of water over the door' trick to 'pail of bubotuber pus over the door' is really frowned apon.
- If a class mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
- I will not sing 'i'm off to see the Wizard' when I'm sent to the headmasters office.
- I am not allowed to spread rumors that Umbridge's animagus transformation went horribly wrong and that's why she looks like a toad.
- It is not acceptable to make parodies of a Professor's names.
- A ferret is not a proper Christmas gift fir Draco Malfoy.
- Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
- I will not ask Harry if his scare sences are tingling.
- I'm not allowed to ask Lupin if it's his 'time of the month.'
- I am not to get Sirius Black any dog toy for s present.
- Do not jump out at Mad-Eye Moody for a joke.
- I will not ask Sirius if he was neutered.
- I am not allowed to reply to everything Professor Lupin says with, "Are you fucking Sirius?"
- I am not to use the floo system to play a game of 'Ultimat tag.'
- I may not refer to Sirius Black as "Seriously Black."
- Synchronized panicking is not proper battle plan.
- Robes are appropriate school wear, bathrobes are not.
- I will not tell Professor Trelaweny that I foresaw her death.
- I'm not allowed to yell BAMF everytime I walk into a room.
- Professor Flitwick will not preform tricks for money.
- I will not tell Professor Umbridge "Voldamort says 'Hi'" every time I see her.
- I'm not allowed to get into fights.
- I am not allowed to charm Trelawney's teacups to always have a grim at the buttom. Having said that I'm also not allowed to hire Sirius Black to chase her around the school in his dog form.
- I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are "covered in bees."
- No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.