Kaity Hazel-Lutz
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Poll: Do you think that "The Talk" should be continued? Vote Now!
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Joined 12-08-08, id: 1764721, Profile Updated: 06-14-09
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.

Hi! I'm Kaity. I love Twilight. And Harry Potter. And Kellan Lutz. I decided that it was time I got an account on here, considering I've been reading off here for the past five years!

Name: Kaity

Age: too young to be an adult, too old to be a child

School: sucks

Hobbies: I LOVE to work on cars! If I had the money for parts I would totally fix my mom's carburetor (which is busted nearly beyond repair) and fan belt (which is almost ripped). I'm also in the colorguard at my school and I spin rifle on weapon line. I like to listen to the drumlyne play thier cadences and watch the tubas do stupid dance moves that go with the cadences. I'm a total band geek, though I don't play an instrument; the colorguard counts as band and we hang out with the band. Also...this is going to sound really grandma-ish, but I knit. Like, scarves and stuff; I'm making everyone one for Christmas.

Likes: Uuuum, books. Almost all of them, with the outstanding exception of cheesy romance novels. I like to climb trees and kind of get stuck when my photographic memory can't figure out how the heck I got up there. I am a huge fan of sarcasm. In fact my favorite phrase is, "_? Me? Never!"

Dislikes: People who wake me up on the weekends. Cauliflower. Ashley. And just about anything that's depressing...it ticks me off.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Quotes by me or my awesome friends:

Alyssa: I have 18 toes on my right hand! (as she holds up left hand)

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Me: Holy sssssh... What the fffff... Where the heck did that bitch come from?

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Emily: I'd beat... What who the heck said that!! (in reference to my brother)

xoxoxoxoxo

Mr. F: It's not that I don't care about your personal life; I really don't care about your personal life.

xoxoxoxoxo

Mr. S. (the awesome band teacher): Bring it in guys!

(we all come within a centimeter of Mr. S.)

Mr. S: That's close enough!

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Kathy B: OH MY SEXY EDWARD!

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Salina: What if the prize for the parade was you got to keep the twilight cast for a whole day?

Me: I'd organize a game day with truth or dare, football, monopoly, and many, many others. What would you do?

Salina: Things that your virgin ears can't hear.

Me: I already lost my virgin ears when Emily decided to scar me for life.

(Salina whispers in my ear)

Me: I'm going to pretend I never heard that so that I will still have the ability to look you in the eye tomorrow.

xoxoxoxoxo

Kathy B: You need to ask Alex out.

Me: Well gee, I guess that's been taken care of now hasn't it? (after she asked him out for me without my permission)

Kathy B: Jeez, you and sarcasm! There's no room in you for a heart; it's all sarcasm!

xoxoxoxoxo

Me: Did you see that picture of Kellan Lutz shirtless with blood dripping from his mouth onto his chest?

Kathy B: Yep

(both shudder in remembering the hotness)

Kathy B: Let's go look it up!

Me: Yes, let's!

xoxoxoxoxo

Me: Oh my gosh Kellan is in that Hilary Duff perfume commercial!

Pidge: Let's go.

Me: Where?

Pidge: To buy the perfume!

Me: I have a better idea.

Pidge: What?

Me: Let's kill her and take Kellan as our prisoner! And then we'll make him pose like in the picture me and Kathy B. saw!

Pidge: You have an evil, sick brain...I like it!

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And so you see that me and my friends are freaks! It's OK people love me anyways!

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93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight,freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, Give Up Your Prejudices,dragongoddess13,Jade-The-Shaddow-Wolf, angelofdeath5302, Kaity Hazel-Lutz

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My Stories:

The Talk: Just a silly little family one-shot about Nessie getting "The Talk" from Bella and Edward...but there's a twist!

Why Me?: Discontinued

The Suck Factor: Okay, this is my first full length story, and I must say I love my plot!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Peace, Love, and Silliness :

Kaity Hazel-Lutz

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tides of Fate by SparklingTwilight reviews
After four years in a bad relationship, and two years of depressed seclusion, Alice and Rosalie drag best friend Bella on a tropical vacation designed by fate. AH OOC. B/E, R/Em, A/J. Rated M for future lemony goodness and occasional strong lang.PLS R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 365,101 - Reviews: 4572 - Favs: 4,958 - Follows: 2,036 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 5/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
More More More by carmelinagunn reviews
This is the sequel to If Every Word I Said Could Make You Laugh. You do need to read that to understand this. Zip up your love one more time and read More!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 248,187 - Reviews: 5868 - Favs: 2,787 - Follows: 1,851 - Updated: 1/18/2010 - Published: 9/29/2008 - Complete
The Nymph and the Waterfall by Pastiche Pen reviews
Someone is spying on Bella at an "inconvenient" time. There's a gnome and a crap ex-best friend. All-human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 84,166 - Reviews: 3113 - Favs: 3,145 - Follows: 1,069 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Breaking the Silence by SparklingTwilight reviews
Bella has suffered in silence for 5 years. What happens when EsmexCarlisle become her foster parents, and a perky pixie moves in next door & tries to break her out of her shell? AH ExB, Canon cpls. Rated M for future chapters. Please R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 75 - Words: 446,252 - Reviews: 3711 - Favs: 3,387 - Follows: 1,045 - Updated: 5/7/2009 - Published: 1/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Let The Games Begin by luvemmett reviews
Bella joins the Cullens for Truth and Dare, except it's not your ordinary Truth and Dare - this is Cullen Style. How does Edward get stuck in Bella's truck with Mike and Jake? And what's with Alice in Wal-mart clothes? Who will win? Who will chcken out?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 37,071 - Reviews: 1077 - Favs: 512 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 12/3/2008 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Complete
Blue Hour by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Alternate ending to Breaking Dawn. ACTUAL Volturi conflict, J/L pairing, awesome Emmett, NO RENESTARD, different circumstances of Bella's vamping...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,517 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 10/9/2008 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Bella, Edward
A World Without Sound by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
AU, BxE. My name is Bella Swan; good at sign language and karate. My best friend is deaf, and you know what? It doesn't matter. Won twice at Twilight Awards, and has been nominated more. Please review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 105,849 - Reviews: 7652 - Favs: 8,951 - Follows: 2,524 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better by xxsparklesnick reviews
All through grade school, that boy with the soft bronze hair had been haunting her. He was her most bitter rival, her worst enemy. When she finally thought he was out of her life, he comes back - will he turn her life upside down again? Edward/Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 48,931 - Reviews: 1071 - Favs: 850 - Follows: 324 - Updated: 9/13/2008 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Complete
You Got Love! by xxsparklesnick reviews
Isabella Swan has been crushing on her best friend's brother, Edward Cullen, for a while and at the same time she can't stand him. Her online friend has been there for her through it all, but what happens when his identity is revealed? All Human, ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 64,288 - Reviews: 1900 - Favs: 1,825 - Follows: 661 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
Love and Forgiveness by HarryPGinnyW4eva reviews
After the war and university, Hermione Granger lives in New York City beginning a new life. Draco Malfoy fled his life of misery, fear, and cowardice with Blaise Zabini. Can time and distance lead to forgiveness, and perhaps, love? Post DH Spoilers
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 177,189 - Reviews: 729 - Favs: 782 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 4/13/2008 - Published: 1/3/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Best Laid Plans by shadowglove reviews
Draco has come up with a plan to make Hermione HIS...and look perfectly innocent at the same time...of course, he never once thought that his plan might backfire quite hilariously...DMHG HPBZ RWLB PPCW GWGG !NOMINATED AT THE DRAMOINE AWARDS!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 118,626 - Reviews: 2357 - Favs: 1,941 - Follows: 578 - Updated: 2/7/2008 - Published: 10/4/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Draco Malfoy Is Evil And Still Gets The Girl by starrybutterfly reviews
After those hectic Hogwarts years, the alumni feel like doing no work at all might be a very good idea. The ministry have a duck problem, everyone's sexuality is questioned, and other mayhem ensues. I suck at summarys, it's funny, I promise! DHr,HG
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,653 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 7/21/2007 - Published: 12/21/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
The Toast Attack by L.C.Candle reviews
What might happen if Bella became insane from sleep deprivation. Rotating POV, if anyone looses brain cells or suffers damage from laughter, L.C. Candle is NOT paying hospital bills. Sorry.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,228 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/27/2007 - Published: 11/22/2006 - Complete
10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy by Drakulya reviews
COMPLETE! Hermione is completely fed up with Malfoy and decides to make a list of ways to get rid of him. But what happens when most of her plans backfire and instead, ends up getting her very close to Draco each time? HGDM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 130,987 - Reviews: 3032 - Favs: 1,847 - Follows: 654 - Updated: 10/25/2006 - Published: 12/16/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Suck Factor reviews
Bella rates her life on her own personal Suck Factor. Follow her as it gradually goes down.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,799 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Why Me? reviews
discontinued. it sucks sorta.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,180 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/3/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Talk reviews
Bella and Edward decide to have a talk with Renesmee...the kind that only a parent can give.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,008 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete