DarkIsRising
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Joined 12-09-08, id: 1765686, Profile Updated: 06-09-12
Author has written 11 stories for Naruto, and Bleach.

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think that's stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000 word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be losing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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YO...

for those of you who care. Here is some personal info on us.

Name:Sui.

gender: male

likes: Reading, games(PS2 and such you know), anime (obviously), sleeping, uh... that's about it.

dislikes: don't even get me started.

age: heheh yeah right like you need to know.

location: please enter correct password(heheh)... ( no one will get that, probably).

eye color: Blue(though I've been told it changes at times).

height: ... I don't even know.

favorite anime: Naruto, Bleach, Trigun, Trinity Blood, and many others I'm to lazy to list.

Just so you know I am pretty lazy and my co-author and I don't exactly have a whole lot of time to work together, so don't expect really fast updates.

by the way watch Haloid on youtube, it's great.

So yeah that's all I have to say at the moment.

yo...

and on to the next one.

Name: Arashi no hi.

gender: male.(and no we're NOT gay).

likes: semi-cold, and Reading, games(PS2 and such you know), anime (obviously), sleeping.

dislikes: bright light, that's it.

age: immortal.

location: in your nightmares(Sui: he wishes)

eye color: black and souless.

height: 6' .

favorite anime: same as Sui.

Just as a side note, Sui and I are brothers.

well, that's it.

For Now...

Stories we will write in the future. These are ours, don't steal them.

Naruto/WoW: Normally, I steer away from things like this, but I have an insistent idea for this one. Not really a true crossover, but it will pull elements from WoW and maybe a character or two.

Naruto/Symbiote: Another self-explanatory title.

Naruto/Overlord sort of crossover: I've seen several of these, but they either were harems or are under the possiblity to become a harem. I know a bit about the Overlord universe, at least enough to get us through the story( though we would have to create our own spells as those aren't often used in fanfics). All in all, I want to write a story where Naruto becomes the new Overlord, maybe some time before the chunin exam finals( though I'm thinking about it being before he becomes a genin), and begins using the power of the Overlord to conquer the world. This one I would like to be an evil Naruto( perhaps mastering the Kyubi's chakra and using that badass form he got after beating the Kyubi) and the main pairing would be evil-naru/evil-hina( because you just don't seen enough good evil Hinata stories like this). As for who joins him and who he just kills, that is up for debate. I have quite a number of ideas for this one too.

Bleach-in which the Hollowifcation goew wrong and Ichigo is stuck in the appaerace of his Hollow. that would be intresting the voice changed too.

Soul Eater- this is an idea i had after watching the series. Instead of Black star Wielding Tsubaki, i was thinking Mifune should insteead. also Maka doesnt have a stick up her ass and can actaully enjoy her time some more... few other ideas but these are just breif ones

Star Wars- Yes belive it or not i have a few ideas for this one. I was thinking, Galen from the force unleashed should have differnt storylines, instead of "seeing that he died" he used it as a decoy to escape, though abdly injured, and comes back to face the Emperor , and Darth Vador, through better technology, has somehow, been givien his orignal body back, or that the Emperor knew of a way to regrow Anakins arms, using the dark side of the froce but in which Darth Vador was more evil, and cunning.

Legend of Zelda- i got a few on this one too. For example, lets say Link had a "dark side" and cpould use it. though everytime he did he started to turn into it. and also, make it where Link was.. torn apart, and the dark link is trying to desotry Hyrule and rule it like ganondorf, while the good link is trying to stop him...

here's some random info.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia

quotes:

Twenty-three seconds later...

Itachi calmly sat back onto his stool, and replaced the empty chopstick bowl. It was a pity to waste so many of Ayame-chan's chopsticks, but it was for a good cause.

His companions were gawking at what appeared to be one of the most sadistic displays of chopstick use in the history of mankind.

All of the men were pinned to a wall in a similar manner. By regular chopsticks. The wall, mind you, was stone. Wooden chopsticks.

Itachi had been feeling particularly religious at the moment, since Lady Luck had been such a kind mistress and offered a chance to replenish his badassery. He decided to thank her in a proper manner.

He had crucified all the men upon the wall as the Romans had done Jesus, with a few differences.

Itachi was worried that if he impaled them through the hands and feet, they might get infected and die, and he was not allowed to kill Konoha nins. So he had simply impaled their sleeves and pants, effectively rendering them immobile.

He had then proceded to castrate every single one of the men crucified, not really aiming, more just spam shooting chapsticks in the general area of their genitals. So now, there were eight men moaning and screaming across the street. He figured it was a good offering.

Ayame bustled back in, carrying their bowls. She set it back down in front of Itachi.

"I made it special, Hi-kun." She smiled angelicly at him. Itachi calmly produced his own pair of chopsticks, and began eating, ignoring his comrades, who were still gawking. He grinned beneath his hood.

Oh yes. He was badass.

20 Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

1.Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.

2.We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.

3.Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.

4.Helpless is not cute.

5.Get to the point.

6.You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.

7.If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?

8.Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.

9.We would not wear high heels to impress you.

10.Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.

11.For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.

12.If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."

13.If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.

14.Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.

15.We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.

16.We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.

17We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.

18.It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.

19.Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

20.If it itches, it will be scratched.

21.If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.

22.Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

23.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

24.You have enough clothes.

24.You have too many shoes.

25.Crying is blackmail.

26.Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

27.Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

28.No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.

29.We're not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

30.Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?

31.Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

32.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

33.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

34.Check your oil.

35.Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

36.It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.

37.It doesn't matter which quiz.

38.Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

39.If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.

40.If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

41.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

42.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

43.If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.

44.Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

45.Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

46.Ditto melon.

47.If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.

The above was taken from the profile of dragonfire7999 and edited to remove anything I couldn't agree with.

7 Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man.

If a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead’?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?

Sarcasms is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

-The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.-Murphy's Military Laws

The blonde first tried the large hammer/axe he had noticed earlier, channeling a bit of chakra into it as told, only for his hands to light on fire. He quickly dropped the weapon.

“NO!” Naruto exclaimed. “No more of these worthless missions already. Chasing down hundred-year-old half-demon cats is where I draw the line.

“These are the ninja you gave to protect me? That guy only has one eye, and these three look like kids! And you, blondie, have the stupidest face and worst fashion sense I've ever seen. Orange? What a stupid color!”

In an instant, Naruto drew one of his huge swords and held it straight at the man's neck. He spoke and looked at the man completely seriously but was cracking up with laughter on the inside. “Don't insult the color orange.” With that, he sheathed his blade.

The true measure of a person’s strength isn’t how many times they fall down, but the number of times they rise to their feet and continue on

I love everyone and everything... except for you!

Remember... one should always expect the unexpected... in doing so the unexpected becomes expected and the expected the unexpected... therefore just expect everything and anything.

"Yes, yes, Akai-chan, he's a degenerate bastard who's paranoid...for a good reason, though..." - Uzumaki Naruto, from Awakening of the Slumbering Beast by Saotome Kyuubi

"P.S. - If you ever run into a man named Jiraiya, don't listen to a damned thing he says. He'll turn you into a pervert." - Yondaime, from Colors of Life and Death by Songbird21

"Use it well, my young padawan; may the chakra be with you." - Uzumaki Naruto, from The Person I Admire by Gadalla Rune

"Listen up! Back in my day, we didn't have any fancy-schmansy tanks. We had rocks - two rocks, and a stick for the whole platoon; and we had to share the rock!" - Sergeant Johnson, from Halo 2

"Marine, did I give you permission to bitch?" - Marine Sergeant, from Halo 2

"I can picture in my mind's eye a world without war, a world without hate, and I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it"- Jack Handy

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his dilusion is a philosopher"- Ambrose Bierce

"All the best stories in the world are but one reality; the story of escape. It is the only thing which interests us all and at all times- how to escape"- Arthur Christopher Benson

"He who attacks must vanquish. He who defends must merely survive."- Master Kahn

"Getting rid of a delusion makes us wiser than getting hold of a truth."- Ludwig Borne

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."- Will Rogers

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein

"He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."- Sherlock Holmes

"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on."- Catch 22

"Cunning is the art of conceiling our own defects, and discovering other people's weaknesses."- William Hazlitt

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."- Herm Albright

"Not all who wonder are lost."- J.R.R. Tolkien

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather judgement that something else is more important than fear."- Ambrose Redmoon

"Just when you realize that life's a bitch, it has puppies."- Adrienne E. Gusoff

"The optomist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."- James Branch Cabell

"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies and not everbody lives."- A. Sachs

"Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth."- Mark Twain

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."- Douglas Adams

"One should expect the expected can be prevented, but the unexpected should have been expected."- Norman R. Augustine

"Happiness is the dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."- Johnny Carson

"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks."- Jack Penn

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."- Unknown

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."- Unknown

People have hope because they cannot see death standing behind them- tagline of Bleach, volume 2

We think that a flower on a cliff is beautiful because we stop our feet at the cliff's edge, unable to step out into the sky like the fearless flower.- tagline of Bleach, volume 12

"Life's journey it not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, 'Holy S--, what a ride!'"- Unknown

"Never take life seriously, nobody ever gets out alive."- Unknown

"True strength is being able to hold it all togethor when everything else is falling apart."- Unknown

"Not all scars show, not all wounds heal, sometimes you can't see the pain someone feels."-Unknown

"There is no person who does not carry scars on their heart. If there were such a person, they would be a shallow soul."- Hiei

"Each coin has two sides, the man lost control of his and I saw a demon."-Hachirou Kita

"Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."- R.D. Lang

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disclination to do so."- Douglas Adams

Darkness always had its part to play. Without it, how would we know when we walked in the light? It's only when its ambitions become too grandiose that it must be opposed, disciplined- if necessary- brought down for a time. Then it will rise again, as it must.- Clive Barker, Abarat

"To err is human... but when the eraser runs out, you're doing it too much."- Unknown

Death is like God's way of dragging you by the collar up to heaven, mumbling, "Okay, I think you've done enough damage..."- Unknown

"A good sword, even if it's got cracks and rust, in the core it always has good metal. That metal is the best metal of all. No matter how big the crack is, when it's put into the fire, it always revives."

“Little man...” his smirk widened, “I am impressed, but are you really prepared to be a genin for the rest of your life?”

Naruto snorted, “Bring it on, mister proctor.”

Ibiki snorted, amused, ‘Screw jounin, this kids got more rocks than most ANBU!’

“For all those still present…” he paused for effect, watching the genin lean forwards, “You’ve just passed the first exam.”

CRASH!

Everyone sweatdropped at the sight of Naruto’s foot twitching in the air, having face-faulted right off his chair.

‘Maybe not…’ Ibiki muttered, ‘A little too high strung.’

“Er, you know, Hinata, we’ve been out in the woods for several weeks. It’s not like you could buy extra weights from a squirrel.”

Sakura, surprisingly, was the first to ask the question they were all thinking. “Wait, what’s the meaning of that? We pass already? What about the tenth question?”

That lead to the one of the scariest things Naruto had ever seen… even worse than Gai and Lee singing karaoke of “I Got You, Babe!” at Lee’s celebration.

Morino Ibiki was laughing.

Inside Naruto. If you could somehow into a other person's mind, you would have been greeted with the strangest thing ever if you dared to enter Naruto's mind. When Naruto used the Rasengan, something utterly strange happened. Kyuubi rose from his seating position, stood on his two hind paws and did a... victory dance. This time it was Minato who was speechless.

“He’s right you know. If word got out what was sealed inside Kyle or Ryan this village would be in an uproar. My father had a saying, when man sees something it doesn’t understand he tries to destroy it. And in the process he destroys himself.” The elder shinobi said, he then bowed and left as well. Raised in Darkness Chaos666

I am Uzumaki Naruto, dying to live, and living to die. Coming Home Wootabulous

I am Uchiha Itachi, waiting for my past actions to catch up to me. Coming Home Wootabulous

"Naruto hasn't made me promise, so I could tell you." said Kakashi.

Jiraiya conked him very hard on the head.

"How would you like to read some porn?" asked Kakashi suddenly to a very surprised Iruka.

"You had better sit down Kakashi..." said Iruka.

"Huh? Yeah sure, I love fruit salad." said Kakashi as he sat down in the chair against the wall, looking rather out of himself.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi WRITTTEN BY SHAWNY WONG!!

Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you.

Time is money, and money is the root of all Evil. Therefore, procrastination is the key to World Peace

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines- Stephen Wright

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge

Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis ad capul tuum saxum immane mittam. - I have a catapult. Give me all the money or I will fling an enormous rock at your head

Freshmen don't run, they scamper. They're like hamsters

You can't spell slaughter without laughter

Give a man a match and he'll be warm for an hour... Set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life

Keep honking...I'm reloading. (bumber sticker)

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! (bumper sticker. With small print)

Don‘t upset me! I‘m running out of places to hide the bodies

If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back, and let the world wonder how you did it.

All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!

If the aliens are looking for intelligent life then why are you scared?

Murphy's Law=80 percent of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read

If you try to fail, and suceed, which have you done?

If you find yourself in a fair fight you didn't plan your mission properly!

Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

(on a lecturer's door): The probability of finding me in this office is inversely proportional to the magnitude of your urgency

'Holy crap… I knew it…' holy light seemed to shine on his bowl as said food flickered, shining with beauty (and taste) unmatched by any.

'Ramen can resurrect people!'

yo, Sui speaking.

Spectral Dragon

In the war between good and evil, a Spectral Dragon tends to walk the fine line of Neutrality.
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos.
As far as magical tendancies, Magical spells come as natural to the Spectral Dragon as breathe from it's body.
During combat situations, a true Spectral Dragon prefers to defeat opponents by the use of spells and other tactics.

Dragon Description:

The resurrected spirits of fallen dragon warriors, Spectral Dragons usually find no allure in the ways of mortals or 'flesh-beings.' To this end most never possess a single gold piece. Instead, they live their unlives by a strict code of mental and metaphysical discipline. Their bodies are honed, focused avatars of dragon gods long-dead. They are leaders and teachers who prefer acolytes to be mages with an intense dedication to the betterment and empowerment of one's own spirit. However, these creatures can be fierce in combat; because of their nature, Spectral Dragons can change form at will, and their undead state does not mean they have no physical influence.

The magnificent blue-and-green flames of a Spectral Dragon are said to burn hotter than the fires of the living. In physical appearance Spectrals are often a shimmering grey-blue-white, much like a ghost; their common form appears similar to that of a shade-dragon. Their eyes glow one of three colors; the eyes of the honorably slain glow a bright green. The eyes of the murdered glow blood-red. And the eyes of the condemned, those whose greed or hatred destroyed their bodies, glow a bright violet.

This Dragons favorite elements are: are rose quartz, black roses, rain, funeral pyres, and songs sung for the dead

http://travel-hounds.com/dragon/quiz.html

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He was outlived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP: We shall remember

The US government may take wolves off the endangered species list. that means hunters and anyone can kill trap and skin wolves or kill them for the fun of it. IF YOU BELIVE THIS IS DOWN-RIGHT WRONG AND WANT TO VOICE YOUR OPINON OR PUT A STOP TO THIS COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE WITH YOUR NAME AFTER IT!! 0x-i-Need-A-Hug-x0, darklightningdevil, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, RainLily13, Valleygoat,Naru-chan and Kashi-kun, miss-perfections, Mikie-From-Ireland, DarkIsRising

7 reasons not to mess with kids

Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

Naruto." Kakashi kept his voice casual. "How many of those did you buy?"

"No way! We're going to have a Tournament; why should I tell everyone how much ammo I've got!"

"While I'm delighted to know that you're learning to think about the consequences of all your actions, the fact that you refer to Exploding Notes as ammo terrifies me to no end." Naruto looked at his sensei inquisitively; it was really hard to tell if he was joking or serious when he deadpanned most of the time.

Hi...

Sasuke stared at Kakashi in shock for a moment, before grabbing Sakura's compact and holding it up to his face.

"Mangekyou Sharingan," Kakashi said and suddenly corralled his students in a big hug, "you're all alive!"

"Uh, yeah..." Naruto agreed, "I used the Replacement Technique paired with Shadow Clones so we could retreat safely."

"You are truly a frightening individual," Kakashi declared solemnly. "Now! Who wants to get drunk with their sensei?"

"I'm in," Sasuke said instantly.

"I-I'm in," Sakura added, not wanting to be left out.

"Sounds like fun," Naruto agreed.

"How can we think of fun when we just left the old drunk to die?" Sakura complained.

"Please, he has about a thousand Naruto's with him; he'll be fine!" Naruto replied.

"A thousand …" Kakashi's eye lost focus for a second, and when he regained it he noticed there were still a plethora of Naruto clones in town. "First one drunk gets to learn a new jutsu," he promised.

"Woohoo!" Naruto cheered, "I'm going to get drunk faster than any of you!"

Challenge Time

Hello all, this is where I will post story ideas I want to see written but can't write myself.

Jinchuriki

Remember when the Biju were the most badass mother-fuckers in the series? I do and I want to see them like that again. The premise of this story is to portray the Biju (and by extent their jinchurikki) as they originally were in the series, more powerful than any human could ever hope to be. I would like for this to focus primarily on Naruto as well and please, don't make him the idiot he is in cannon.

Suggested story points.

Jinchurikki power:

Jinchurikki should, by dint of containing the biju, be ungodly powerful. Enhanced durability, impossible stamina, super healing, monstrous chakra levels, and other such things. The should be pretty much super-human in ways even ninja can't hope to manage. They should of course have weaknesses, but should still be unnervingly powerful to the point that only other jinchurikki should be able to truly match them once they master their power.

Demonic influence:

No one should be able to harbor forces of nature and come out unscathed. Each of the jinchurikki should inherit some quirk or trait from their Biju. It can be minor, or it could be a major facet of their personality. Your choice.

Biju invincibility:

Biju can't be beat. They can't be subdued completely or controlled by any human (bar use of the Rinnegan on an unsealed Biju, but that thing alters reality so it's got a reason). Their only weakness is seals, which they simply don't have a defense against.

No Sharingan power-ups:

If you keep up with the manga, then you know that these are becoming more and more common. Please keep Mangekyo as the highest level and (spoiler alert for recent chapters) no evolving it into the Rinnegan.

Ok, that pretty much wraps up this idea. If you take this up, please leave me a pm telling me you have so I can read your story, as that is really the point of this.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Tale of History by Ultimagu reviews
So you know the tale of Queen Ashelia? That is quite excellent, but there is far more than you would ever think between then and now. This is what happened after my child. WORK IN PROGRESS.
Final Fantasy XII - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,446 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/2/2012 - Published: 12/24/2009
The Legend of Link: Heroes of Time by Gargravarr reviews
Six months post-TP, a lost and broken Link must conquer his own inner emptiness as Nothingness itself threatens to swallow everything he cares for. With allies old and new, he must face his greatest enemy ever. TP/OoT spoilers. LxM, ZxOC. COMPLETE 7/11/10
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 211,290 - Reviews: 426 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 11/7/2010 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Link, Midna - Complete
HoLlOwFiCATioN by Tommo2304 reviews
Shinji Hirako and the others wake up to find themselves in strange clothes, their Shinigami garb gone. Kisuke Urahara stands over them with the answers they crave. But when they learn them, only vengeance fills their hearts. If they still have hearts.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 51,085 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/2/2010 - Published: 3/2/2010 - Shinji H. - Complete
I'm Sorry by Corrosionz reviews
Tidus' mind frame/actions during the ending of Final Fantasy X. Spoiler: Only if you haven't beaten the game. -Oneshot-
Final Fantasy X - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,474 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/19/2010 - Tidus, Yuna - Complete
Happiness Lost, Rage Awakened by KennyG reviews
For Nearly 11 1/2 years, Naruto has suffered at the hands of the ignorant for too long that one day, his 'mask' cracks, and all that is left is sorrow and rage. Dark Naruto Fic. Naru/Hina. Full Summary, other pairings, and explination inside.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,669 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The Story of Uzumaki Naruto: part I, beginning by BlueGlass54 reviews
AU. Naruto learns of the Kyuubi sealed inside him and the truth of what happened the night of his birth, a truth no one expected... naruXhina sakuXsasu ON HOLD
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 127,121 - Reviews: 377 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 307 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 5/30/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
150 Things Konoha Shinobi Are Not Allowed To Do by afriendtosell reviews
Just for fun. Mostly Crack. [Sometimes you just need to take a break from all of the seriousness]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,654 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 943 - Follows: 178 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tortured Demigod reviews
Like ripples in a pond, the image distorts and twists before settling into a parody of what it once was.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 33,193 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 6/4/2012 - Published: 4/14/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Specter reviews
They say there is a ghost that haunts a stone once said to be memorial to fallen soldiers.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 532 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/23/2011 - Naruto U. - Complete
Seven reviews
It was once said that you should fight fire with fire. It's a shame they didn't know how that term would be applied by those who have suffered at the hands of others.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,922 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/24/2011 - Naruto U.
Perfection: Birth of a Legend reviews
Orochimaru desires the perfect body and has just the specimen to make into such a thing. After all, who better to use as a test subject then a demon host?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,533 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Naruto U.
Shattered Blades reviews
What if, when Ichigo and the others were fighting Aizen, some unexspected people showed up.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,186 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/22/2010 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Ichigo K., Rukia K.
Possibilities reviews
The attempt by Itachi and Kisame went differently then they expected and Naruto walks away from the incident with a new possesion.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,867 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 214 - Updated: 11/8/2010 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Naruto U.
The Leaf's Mistake reviews
Naruto gets banished after bringing Sasuke back in critical condition and heads torwards Suna on Kyubi's advice, meeting someone unexpected on the way there. On haitus.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,090 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 213 - Updated: 9/28/2010 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Negligence reviews
What if Minato and Kushina had survuved the Kyuubi attack, but Naruto wasn't the conatainer of the Kyuubi's power. Eventual Naru/FemKyu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,556 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 214 - Updated: 9/15/2010 - Published: 8/14/2010 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Angel reviews
This was their guilty pleasure, their greatest secret.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 571 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/6/2010 - Pain/Pein, Konan - Complete
The Oni Outbreak reviews
Demons are Creatures of the Dark. Each with barely enough Spritual Pressure to harm a human,but what if they had a different talent. What if they had powers that none of Soul Soceity has ever seen, Powers and numbers..that could surpass their very own?
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 993 - Reviews: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Ichigo K., Rukia K.
Sui's and Arashi's Drabbles reviews
Read the title. I don't own any of the characters in these stories.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/26/2009 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Complete