Author has written 3 stories for Chronicles of Ancient Darkness, and Twilight.
I am a budding author (well, that's how people describe me). I don't actually write fanfiction (apart from a recent Twilight fic) but I love to read it. I hope that someday I can write a good enough book that a story will appear on the internet- fanfiction based on my novel.
You'll always find me with a pen in my hand or a laptop under my arm.
Place an X next to everything you've done. Remove it for things you haven't. Remember this is an account of your entire life!
() Smoked A Cigarette
() Drank so much you threw up
() Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
() Been Arrested
() Gone on a blind date
() Skipped School
() Watched someone die
(X) Been to Thailand
(X) Been to France
(X) Been to China
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(X) Gone to Germany
(X) Swam in the Ocean
() Felt like dying
(X) Played Cops and Robbers
(X) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal in only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
() Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
() Been kissed under the mistletoe
() Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(X) Watched the sunset with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Made a bonfire in the forest
() Crashed a party none worth crashing
() Been skinny dipping
() Gone to the movies, paid for one ticket, and then snuck into a theater to see a different feature afterwards
() Ever float down a river
40 ODD Things about me! (A questionnaire I filled out)
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
27. Are you gay?
28. Do you sing in the shower?
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good...
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'
A day without sunshine is... night.
When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like fire.
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
There is no "I" in team but I do all the work anyways cause the others are too lazy...
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you
'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
Silence is golden; Duct tape is SILVER
I have the cape, I make the whoosh noises.
When i walk past an automatic door and it opens for me, i worry that if i don't go through it, i might hurt its feelings
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. How do you feel now?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
The statistics on insanity are that 1 out of every 4 people has some kind of mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
You cry I cry, You laugh I laugh, You jump off a cliff, I laugh harder
My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.’
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. So why am I still in jail?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Help I've fallen and i can’t...hey nice carpet!
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
The spontaneous rally will began at 1:45
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life! So I guess I'm quite the disappointment...
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
Life's tough, get a helmet.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Unfortunately, my parents didn't think to inform the teachers that until after I entered the lunchroom.
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking?
How come you never see the news story Psychic Wins Lottery?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
It’s only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s HILARIOUS!
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobia - Fear of long words.
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, Where the heck is the ceiling?
Don’t worry, they can’t hit us from this fa... -last words of a Civil war general
ERROR: Keyboard not found! Press any key to continue.
According to a recent survey, 3/4 of people makes up 75% of the population.
If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.
We're not lost. We're locationally challenged.
Whoever said nothings impossible never tried to nail jell-o to a tree!
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
I have the largest seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
It takes 47 muscles to frown and 13 to smile, but it takes 0 to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Anyone who uses the phrase easy as taking candy from a baby has never tried taking candy from a baby.
You live and learn. Or rather, you live and sit there with a blank face then lie and say you get it.
I gave up junk food. It was the worst 10 minutes of my life.
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.
There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.
It matters not whether you win or lose- what matters is whether I win or lose.
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Employee of the Month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
A watched pot never boils, but it does get paranoid.
If you have any problem with this profile, write it on the back of a fifty pound note and send it to me.
It’s great to have grey hair. Ask anyone who’s bald.
I’m not a geek – I’m a level 12 paladin!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
If victory is too high to climb, take the elevator.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened last year.
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later
Evening news is where they begin with Good Evening and then proceed to tell you why it isn't
Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you’re up to.
I don’t mind if you sleep in class, but please do not snore, you are disrupting those who are sleeping
if nobody’s perfect I must be nobody
Remember there is no I in team, but there is an M and an E
I don't talk on the phone because I hear voices on the other end...
One day, I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.
I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.
I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.
Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Then the foil tore, and I found out my knight was a guy.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Nah, not really. It's fun here. My head is echoey!! ECHO-ECHo-ECho-Echo-echo...ech...ec...e... .. .
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute, forget the fruit.
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. Dear fragmented heart, I met another boy today, prepare to become microscopicish.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. Now I've got to hunt down that shrink and blast him with my power sucking ray of doom!!
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Am I the only one who doesn't understand this line of work?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
If you have read this far - congrats! You officially won the 'I So Need to Get a Life!!' Award!! Now post this at the bottom of your profile like a good little minion... MWAHAHA (original post by TwilightObsesser412)
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