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Joined 12-11-08, id: 1767050, Profile Updated: 06-29-11
Author has written 3 stories for Chronicles of Ancient Darkness, and Twilight.

I am a budding author (well, that's how people describe me). I don't actually write fanfiction (apart from a recent Twilight fic) but I love to read it. I hope that someday I can write a good enough book that a story will appear on the internet- fanfiction based on my novel.

You'll always find me with a pen in my hand or a laptop under my arm.

Place an X next to everything you've done. Remove it for things you haven't. Remember this is an account of your entire life!

() Smoked A Cigarette

() Drank so much you threw up

() Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.

() Been Arrested

() Gone on a blind date

() Skipped School

() Watched someone die

(X) Been to Thailand

(X) Been to France

(X) Been to China

(X) Been on a plane

(X) Been lost

(X) Been on the opposite side of the country

(X) Gone to Germany

(X) Swam in the Ocean

() Felt like dying

(X) Played Cops and Robbers

(X) Sang karaoke

(X) Paid for a meal in only coins

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't

() Made prank phone calls

(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Danced in the rain

(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus

() Been kissed under the mistletoe

() Watched the sunrise with someone you care about

(X) Watched the sunset with someone you care about

(X) Blown bubbles

(X) Made a bonfire in the forest

() Crashed a party none worth crashing

() Been skinny dipping

() Gone to the movies, paid for one ticket, and then snuck into a theater to see a different feature afterwards

() Ever float down a river

40 ODD Things about me! (A questionnaire I filled out)

1. Where's #1 on your top 8?
At the top?
2. What is your favorite possession?
Sad to say, but probably my bed...
3. Do you own a gun?
4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?
I don't have an ex.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Never. Pretty nothing makes me nervous.
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
I can't choose! I love all Christmas songs!
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
9. Can you do a push up?
Yes. As long as it really is only one.
10. Is your bathroom clean?

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My mother's gold necklace... Well, I will inherit it...
12. Do you take painkillers?
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Um... I'm not sure about luring- I'm too much of a tomboy.
14. Do you have A.D.D.? (Attention Deficit Disorder)
I hope not! I really think- oo! Butterfly!
15. What's your name?
Linnac to you.
16. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment
Chocolate, next story plot and speech.
17. Name the last 3 things you have bought
A London shirt, a keyring for my friend and food.
18. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink
Water, tea and coffee.
19. Current worry?
Story plot!
20. Current hate?
21. Favorite place(s) to be?
22. How did you bring in the New Year?
Hugging my family and toasting with shouler
23. Where would you like to go?
Home... I really miss it.
24. Do you own slippers?
Yes but I don't think I've ever worn them.
25. What shirt are you wearing?
A frilly white tank top... Yeah, pyjamas.
26. Favorite color(s)?
Deep red

27. Are you gay?
No. Can't say I am. Unless you refer to 'bonny and gay' in which case, I am very happy-go-lucky.

28. Do you sing in the shower?
Well... yes.
29. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
My mother, if she saw I was still awake.
30. Best bed sheets as a child?
Red satin- yeah, I'm spoilt.
31. Worst injury you've ever had?
A reaccuring break to my ankle.
32. Who is your loudest friend?
33. Who is your most silent friend?
My best friend. We're quite the pair.
34. Does someone have a crush on you?
I really don't think so.
35. Do you wish on shooting stars?
Never seen one.
36. What is your favorite candy?
That's hard... Depends on my mood. Can't go wrong with chocolate though.
37. What song(s) do/did you want played at your wedding?
The ones I write myself.
38. What song(s) do you want played at your funeral?
Again, I'll write them myself. But, you'll be sure they'll be really good to street dance to.
39. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
40. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
My ankle hurts.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Random jokes

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good...

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'

A day without sunshine is... night.

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like fire.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"

There is no "I" in team but I do all the work anyways cause the others are too lazy...

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

Silence is golden; Duct tape is SILVER

I have the cape, I make the whoosh noises.

When i walk past an automatic door and it opens for me, i worry that if i don't go through it, i might hurt its feelings

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. How do you feel now?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.

The statistics on insanity are that 1 out of every 4 people has some kind of mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

You cry I cry, You laugh I laugh, You jump off a cliff, I laugh harder

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.’

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. So why am I still in jail?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help I've fallen and i can’t...hey nice carpet!

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

The spontaneous rally will began at 1:45

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive

Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life! So I guess I'm quite the disappointment...

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Life's tough, get a helmet.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Unfortunately, my parents didn't think to inform the teachers that until after I entered the lunchroom.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.

I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking?

How come you never see the news story Psychic Wins Lottery?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

It’s only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s HILARIOUS!

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobia - Fear of long words.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, Where the heck is the ceiling?

Don’t worry, they can’t hit us from this fa... -last words of a Civil war general

ERROR: Keyboard not found! Press any key to continue.

According to a recent survey, 3/4 of people makes up 75% of the population.

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.

We're not lost. We're locationally challenged.

Whoever said nothings impossible never tried to nail jell-o to a tree!

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

I have the largest seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

It takes 47 muscles to frown and 13 to smile, but it takes 0 to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Anyone who uses the phrase easy as taking candy from a baby has never tried taking candy from a baby.

You live and learn. Or rather, you live and sit there with a blank face then lie and say you get it.

I gave up junk food. It was the worst 10 minutes of my life.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.

There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.

It matters not whether you win or lose- what matters is whether I win or lose.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Employee of the Month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

A watched pot never boils, but it does get paranoid.

If you have any problem with this profile, write it on the back of a fifty pound note and send it to me.

It’s great to have grey hair. Ask anyone who’s bald.

I’m not a geek – I’m a level 12 paladin!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.

If victory is too high to climb, take the elevator.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened last year.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later

Evening news is where they begin with Good Evening and then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you’re up to.

I don’t mind if you sleep in class, but please do not snore, you are disrupting those who are sleeping

if nobody’s perfect I must be nobody

Remember there is no I in team, but there is an M and an E

I don't talk on the phone because I hear voices on the other end...

One day, I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Then the foil tore, and I found out my knight was a guy.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Nah, not really. It's fun here. My head is echoey!! .. .

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute, forget the fruit.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. Dear fragmented heart, I met another boy today, prepare to become microscopicish.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. Now I've got to hunt down that shrink and blast him with my power sucking ray of doom!!

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Am I the only one who doesn't understand this line of work?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

If you have read this far - congrats! You officially won the 'I So Need to Get a Life!!' Award!! Now post this at the bottom of your profile like a good little minion... MWAHAHA (original post by TwilightObsesser412)

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night.

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love skirts.
Cats are better than dogs.

You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the colour pink.
Go to your mum for advice
Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favourite colours.

You hate wearing the colour black.
You like hanging out at the shopping centre.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
You like wearing jewellery.

Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body perfume.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like being the star of every thing.

Taylor Swift Love Story Twilight Style by TeamMrTaylorLautner reviews
I have adapted my favourite song to be like my favourite book/movie - TWILIGHT if you have anything that i could improve don't hesitate to pm me.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 375 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Free Twilight story plots reviews
I have too many ideas. Here are some story-plots that I don't have time to use. You can use them if you like. Just use the review button to tell me you're taking an idea.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 5,242 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/29/2010 - Published: 6/4/2009
The Cold reviews
A great and terrible winter has swept through the forest during what should be hot months. The Soul Eaters created it. An unlikely bond is formed between a group who is out to stop this disaster, but is there anyone of them that doesn’t harbour secrets?
Chronicles of Ancient Darkness - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,435 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 2/5/2009
The Romends reviews
Bella is a Romend- a romantic friend. She is the founder of The Romends. But then her friends set her up with Edward- whom she can't stand. Will they be able to work together to save Edward from a dark enemy? All human. T for some violence.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 23 - Words: 30,745 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/3/2009 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Bella, Edward