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Joined 12-13-08, id: 1769238, Profile Updated: 06-25-12
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

My pseudonym name is Lily M. Tate. I love writing, reading, drawing, writing... I love writing in the Horror/Supernatural genre.

I love reading, writing, drawing, swimming, and anything that has to do with vampires. I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel and I am obsessed with Harry Potter. I also support gays/lesbians/bisexuals.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, 7HockeyStarVampireObsessed7, XxDracoMalfoy'sGirlxX, LilWitch44, Lily Marie Wolfe

Favorite Anime:

Shiki, Mirai Nikki, Another, Sailor Moon, Elfen Lied, Chibi Vampire, Air TV, Kanon, Higurashi, Clannad, Tokyo Mew Mew, Gauken Alice, Fruits Basket, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya, Spiral, Umineko, Usagi Drop, Puella Mahou Madoka Magica, 11eyes, Angel Beats, Blood, Chaos;Head, Deadman Wonderland, Ghost Hunt, Loveless

Favorite Shows:

House, Terranova, Big Bang Theory, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Lie to Me, Bones, Hell's Kitchen, MasterChef, The Simpsons, Family Guy

I love Sims 3!

Packaging these days:
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (Printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Ahh, but on whose body?)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(And I’m taking this why?)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Hmm…I think someone got lost in translation…)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to…?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Has this been happening a lot somewhere?)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)


An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

Join the dark side. We have cookies!

I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I ran with scissors - and lived!

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

Don't make mountains out of molehills, it leads to angry moles.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

Cute but psycho- things even out.

Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

When Life gives you lemons, make apple juice, and let the world wonder how the hell you did it.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Love your enemies. It pisses them off.

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth while

I intend to live forever... so far so good

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again

Embrace the inner rebel- don't sit up straight

Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you

You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you

No I am not weird... just plotting

Everything in this room is edible, even I'm edible. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

I don't obsess! I think intensely!

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

Shit happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

If a fork is made of gold, will it still be called silverware?

When French people swear, do they say "Pardon my English"?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

Americans worship money. I have been looking for God all my life and he is right in my pocket.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you my friend!! Yes You!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!

A day without sunshine is like...night.

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?

Someday, my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED. Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

here's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's strange. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

My knight in shining amour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet

Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Never hire a colorblind electrician.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of three of your best friends. If they're okay, then its you.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" Well I think guns help, if you stood there and said "BANG" you wouldn't kill many people.

If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

Someday, Someone will walk into your life and you’ll realize why it never worked with anyone else.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

It’s not who you’ve known the longest; It’s about who came and never left your side. Any fool can have a trophy wife.

It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage.

Behind every beautiful girl there’s a dumb guy who did her wrong & made her strong

I’ve built a wall not to block anyone out but to see who loves me enough to climb over.

Rewind the good times. Fast-forward the bad things and pause the unforgettable moments.

Arms are for hugging. Boys are for kissing. Sluts are for dissing. And best friends are for when the boy is kissing the slut and all you need is a hug.

She’s been there: When I cry. When I get heartbroken. When I laugh. When there have been rough times. When I’m mad. When I’m happy. When I’m jealous. When I’m crazy. When I’m down. When I’m sad. When I’m pretty. When I’m ugly…. Basically she’s been there through everything with me and that’s what I call a best friend.

We were given two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see, two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because it was given to someone else for us to find.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

150 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

1. I will not poke Hufflepuff’s with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”.
4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriate.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.
9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13. Staring a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
14. I will not start every potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
15. “Liften Separatis Crotchum” is not a real spell.
16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as”bookends”.
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”.
20. I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
25. Tricking the school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine even if I yell “Pwned!”
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not a tribble Aimagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.
29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. The Ravenclaws are not “Mentals in training”.
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazghul is coincidental.
36. I will not change the password to the prefect’s bath to “Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty”.
37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as “Admiral Naismith”.
39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” is only funny the first time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42. “42″ is not the answer to every question to the O.W.L.’s.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not teach the first-years to sing “A Wizard’s Staff Has A Knob On The End”.
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
51. I will not go to meals dressed as Choda Boy.
52. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.
53. I will not draw an “H” on Percy Weasley’s forehead.
54. My name is not Captain Subtext.
55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients and I will not resell their products as “Veela Pheremones”.
56. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as a “Big Black Sex Auror”.
57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.
58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
59. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.
60. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.
61. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the
result would be.
62. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “Firewhiskey”.
63. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.
64. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
65. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
66. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.
67. I will stop referring to Hufflepuff’s as “cannon fodder”.
68. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
69. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
70. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
71. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
72. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”.
73. I should not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine”.
74. I will not say the phrase “Dude, get a life.” to Lord Voldemort.
75. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
76. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts. And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
77. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.
78. Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.
79. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
80. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.
81. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
82. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling “It Does DEATH!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should
83. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
85. Ravenclaw’s do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for and indefinite time period” amusing in any sense.
86. I will not attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
87. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
88. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.
89. I will not charm Hermione’s time turner to rotate every half-hour.
90. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
91. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.
92. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.
93. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.
94. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.
95. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.
97. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
98. “OMGWTF” is not a spell.
99. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
102. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing.
103. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.
104. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.
105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
106. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
107. I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
108. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
109. I will not douse Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible wearing it and standing near the fire in
the common room.
110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
111. I will not yell “Believe it… or not!” after any of Dumbledore’s speeches.
112. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
113. My name is not “The Dark Lord Happy-Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
114. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.
115. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.
116. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
117. Voldemort is not Ganandorf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.
119. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of “Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas feast.
120. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
121. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sound with my wand.
122. “Draco Malfoy Takes it Up The Arse” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.
123. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
124. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.
125. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.
126. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.
127. I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as Tim the Enchanter.
128. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.
129. I will not try and start Naked Thursdays in the Common Room.
130. It is not necessary for me to yell “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.
131. I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore’s office and use it to patrol the hallways.
132. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
133. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.
134. I will not teach the first years to play “The Penis Game” in the Great Hall during dinner.
135. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.
136. I will not organize a Hogwarts Fight Club.
137. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
138. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
139. I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a Dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do what I want.
140. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.
141. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
142. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriote career choice.
143. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
144. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
145. It is not necessary to yell “Burn!” everytime Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
147. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout “I have the power!”
148. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
149. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell “Ni” from various directions.
150. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points .

More from!

Copy this into your profile if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress

If flying is so safe,why do they call the airport the terminal?

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRT a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fudging them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (eh?)
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (Is anybody?)
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think everyone I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. (does manga count? :S)
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-Sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN, so I MUST just need some converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

If you're against stereotypes, copy and paste this into your profile, and bold the ones that you identify with.

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!!"


1.When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4.Call the Psychic Hot line from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15.Swat at flies that don't exist.

16.Tell people that you can see their aura.

17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

Interesting and insane laws:

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine. (Hmm... I'm not that sure all of the suicide terrorists will be scared off by that.)

It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants. (What... the...)

It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash. (Whoever passed this law was obviously half-asleep.)

It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight. (Hmm... that has potential. Oh, Natasha...)

It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. (Oh great. Looks like we'll have to wait an extra hour to have lunch then.)

It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it. (In that case most of the world should be locked up in prison.)

It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire. (I'm sure we'll all be thinking of our stomachs when the building's on fire.)

It is illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle. (Excluding all else, who'd want to have sex on a parked motorcycle?)

It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday. (Makes sense if you think about it, but on first impression...)

It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns. (This might be better off in the "Only in America" section.)

It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (A pity. That's a novelty I'd pay money to see.)

It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (Strange, but not illogical until you take into account that there is no coastline at all in the state in which this is a law...)

It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. (AHH! HELP! FIRE!)

The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Whoever came up with this? We should give him a Nobel Prize for such a masterful logical conclusion.)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Eyes, Look Your Last by Moonchild707 reviews
"With brisk determination, I cocked the gun, the grinding metal loud over the rain and pounding in my ears. I waited one brief moment, eyes closed and hands shaking, before I heard the voice I knew would come in my moment of need. 'Please don't do this.'"
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,731 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 2/10 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Diamond in the Rough: Part 2 by Moonchild707 reviews
Under Construction.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,149 - Reviews: 1737 - Favs: 875 - Follows: 524 - Updated: 8/3/2017 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Bella
Torn by Dooba reviews
Bella Swan has survived a living hell, twice. She no longer speaks. Nobody ever listened. The Cullen family take her into their care. Bella fights to leave her past behind, but will she be able to let love in? AH M-rated for violence, content, language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 90 - Words: 640,584 - Reviews: 16901 - Favs: 7,316 - Follows: 7,869 - Updated: 4/10/2017 - Published: 9/27/2010 - Bella, Edward
A Diamond in the Rough: Part 1 by Moonchild707 reviews
Bella Swan is a timid first-grader at Forks Elementary who lives in dread of her abusive, volatile father, Charlie. With no friends and no one but her teacher to love, Bella finds her life irrevocably changed by the arrival of Miss Hale—a gentle, golden-eyed lady from the local high school. Rewrite of the original. Loosely based on true events. Rated M for dark themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 127,430 - Reviews: 2392 - Favs: 1,887 - Follows: 973 - Updated: 3/12/2017 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
Inheritance by MidnightEmber reviews
Salazar Slytherin bound Earth, Air, Fire and Water to himself and through him to his descendants. Now that Voldemort has been resurrected he shall assume his inheritance. But who are his elementals?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 111,336 - Reviews: 2522 - Favs: 4,165 - Follows: 4,868 - Updated: 1/30/2017 - Published: 10/28/2009 - [Voldemort, Harry P.] Draco M., Luna L.
The Rising of the Sister Senshi by RavenBloom reviews
After being forced out of the team by the Senshi for her own protection, Usagi swears vengeance and makes up her mind to become stronger. When she leaves and somehow ends up in Jump City, California, she meets someone who she feels a close connection to. Raven, on the other hand, has always been a loner but when she meets this newcomer, she finds her familiar...
Crossover - Sailor Moon & Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 90,420 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 1/14/2017 - Published: 7/15/2012 - [Raven, Robin] Usagi T./Serena/Bunny/Sailor Moon - Complete
A Diamond in the Rough: Outtakes by Moonchild707 reviews
Under Construction.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 25 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 10/13/2016 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Complete
A Diamond in the Rough: Part 4 by Moonchild707 reviews
Under Construction
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 25 - Reviews: 1708 - Favs: 696 - Follows: 378 - Updated: 10/13/2016 - Published: 12/29/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Diamond in the Rough: Part 3 by Moonchild707 reviews
Under Construction.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 25 - Reviews: 1717 - Favs: 692 - Follows: 361 - Updated: 10/13/2016 - Published: 9/29/2009 - Bella - Complete
Rescue Me by Moonchild707 reviews
Isabella Swan lives with her abusive father, Charlie, after the death of her mother. When her two older brothers come home from school and discover their sister's secrets, Bella's circumstances undergo a dramatic and life-altering change. Rewritten and edited version of the original. Based on true events. AH, OOC, dark themes, abuse.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 46,581 - Reviews: 1391 - Favs: 1,922 - Follows: 1,213 - Updated: 3/4/2016 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Bella - Complete
Cloudier Sky by MidnightEmber reviews
Lily had many secrets when she was alive. Now Harry must figure them out while dealing with the blame of Sirius death and the threat of the truly evil.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 90,140 - Reviews: 1238 - Favs: 3,279 - Follows: 4,108 - Updated: 12/1/2014 - Published: 2/24/2010 - [Harry P., Voldemort]
As Children After Play by Cris reviews
I've been reading a lot of Evil!Charlie stories here lately and thought I'd try my own. Canon pairings, Cullens are vampires. There will be smut; I like smut . Kick-ass big sister Rosalie and possessive Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 339,780 - Reviews: 2434 - Favs: 2,067 - Follows: 1,779 - Updated: 2/28/2014 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Ashes like Snow by dustyrose03 reviews
It isn’t safe for anyone, you speak out and you are assassinated. If you have been seen with the suspected enemy, you will be hung. You harbour fugitives, you and your whole family will be shot. This is the way the world we live in works. AH ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 34,380 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 1/28/2014 - Published: 7/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
Her Keeper by 4MeJasper reviews
Bella has been raised a captive in the underground vampire world of designer blood. Her blood is featured in the most popular brand, LaGuerra. When she escapes, her biggest fan, Jasper Whitlock, puts out an acquisition contract for his favorite drink and starts on his own personal hunt, as she attempts to stay free of the vampire world and, in particular, Major Whitlock.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 71 - Words: 147,088 - Reviews: 3252 - Favs: 842 - Follows: 733 - Updated: 9/28/2013 - Published: 7/3/2012 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Scars of a Torn Heart by one2love reviews
What happens when 2 lonely and broken souls meet? Will they find happiness with such dark pasts? Can an ex-slave and a vampire help each other when they both think themselves monsters? Will they find Love or will they force each other apart because of their past? A story of Pain, Love, Loss and Friendship. Edward/Bella. Full Summery inside. Please Read & Review.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 76,227 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/5/2013 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Edward, Bella
Dark Waltz by Moonchild707 reviews
After being orphaned at 6, Isabella Swan was separated from her only remaining family. Ten years later, Bella is reunited with her siblings and a new foster family. With secrets in her past and a rocky road to recovery, Bella strives for normalcy, routine, and the strength only a family can give. A story of love, healing, redemption and growth. AH, dark themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 65 - Words: 276,365 - Reviews: 2750 - Favs: 1,464 - Follows: 820 - Updated: 6/25/2013 - Published: 10/17/2010 - Complete
In the Shadow of Your Heart by BellaFlan reviews
Edward didn't mean to kidnap Bella and hold her hostage, but she holds a secret that could destroy his family. Lucifer was an angel too, and love isn't always wholly benevolent. Vamp AU, B/E, Romance/Horror
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 58,462 - Reviews: 1906 - Favs: 1,159 - Follows: 1,452 - Updated: 2/4/2013 - Published: 1/5/2011 - Edward, Bella
This Rose Has Thorns by yall are nuts reviews
RosexBella. Post new moon. All 18 chapters currently under construction. Re-visted after 5 year hiatus. Will be continued soon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 26,493 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 429 - Updated: 12/18/2012 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Bella, Rosalie
Obsession by The Blue Ones Make Me Fall reviews
Edward and Bella are half siblings. Edward has been obsessed with Bella since they were kids. She leaves Forks but when she comes back, she doesn't know if she can get away from her brother's twisted ways again. Better summary inside!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 41,469 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 464 - Follows: 519 - Updated: 12/15/2012 - Published: 7/19/2010 - Bella, Edward
I Want To Play A Game by FitchersBird reviews
Jigsaw has found a new test subject in selfish creature known as Bella Swan. He will teach her to appreciate the life she has been given and the lives of others. But how many people will die before she realises she isn't as important as she believes?
Crossover - Saw & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,134 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 8/21/2012 - Published: 5/2/2012 - Jigsaw, Bella - Complete
My Flower, Her Fire by Edit reviews
Edward leaves in New Moon. Victoria goes to kill Bella but doesn't.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 64,175 - Reviews: 368 - Favs: 512 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 7/25/2012 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Victoria, Bella - Complete
Lions Eat Lambs by Raggdolly reviews
A camping expedition goes awry when Bella's friends disappear. While searching for them, she stumbles upon the manor of Edward Cullen, unaware that she is about to become a pawn in his dangerous game - a game she can't afford to lose. AU/OOC/V&H. Outtakes included.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 9 - Words: 45,540 - Reviews: 710 - Favs: 932 - Follows: 512 - Updated: 7/5/2012 - Published: 2/16/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Epilogue: Twilight Alternate Ending by AbyssalHighDragon reviews
This alternate ending is probably one of the creepiest ones I've ever written and not deleted. TWO SHOT, RATED M, WANNA FIND OUT WHY, WELL, CLICK ON IT.
Crossover - Twilight & Strain Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,270 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/27/2012 - Published: 6/11/2012 - Bella - Complete
MLP Laboratories: The Outbreak by NeuPferdfurt reviews
Naked, four legged freaks. Big bellies, ideal for testing experimental food, large eyes, just made for eye drops, brains big enough to discover the joys of drugs, mind-control and artificial nightmares. But friendship is magic... Disclaimer: Trigger warnings for incidents of rape (chp.4) and racism, about the only elements in this grimdark goo-fest supposed to be taken seriously.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,996 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 6/23/2012 - Published: 6/27/2011 - Complete
MLP Laboratories: Freak Show by NeuPferdfurt reviews
The ponies fight for their freedom... But what is real, and what is merely a nightmare? How can you tell these two apart? A collection of short stories set in the 'MLP Laboratories'-universe, can be read without any particular order
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,849 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 10/13/2011 - Twilight Sparkle
Entry 45 Unabridged by RulerOfTravels reviews
MARBLE HORNETS fanfic. Semi-alternate-universe. Sequel to "My Encounter with ToTheArk". Another creepy and twisted story. Slash fanfic. Rated M or NC-17, details inside.
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,792 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/26/2011 - MarbleHornets - Complete
Men's Room by Lovelybrutal reviews
Entry for Beyond the Pale 2. Bella needs to sink to the bottom to feel anything. She also needs someone else to take her there. AH. Rated M for language, non-consensual sex, and dark and upsetting subject matter. **HEED THE WARNINGS PLEASE**
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,181 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 24 - Published: 11/17/2011 - Bella - Complete
Between Black and White by ChocolateLover82 reviews
When he needs a model for his latest project, Carlisle finds her closer than he thought. Too close. CPOV, ExB, AH. *Written as an entry for the 'Beyond The Pale 2' Contest.*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,305 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/1/2011 - Complete
Jeux de Bella et Carlisle by andromida1964 reviews
PT 2 of Carlisle Pays While Bella Preys. Three years later Evil Isabella has decided to play with the Cullens again. Both sides are in for many surprises this time. Let the Evil begin. Please, do not read if you are under 18. C/B plus lots of Jasper.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,054 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 9/12/2011 - Published: 9/6/2011 - Bella, Carlisle
Carlisle Pays While Bella Preys by andromida1964 reviews
Evil Bella has grown to be a very bitter scientist. She blames Carlisle for her past, being head of his coven. She will make him feel pain both as a vampire and a human. Will she let him go back to his family, when things go wrong, before he dies? MA C/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 64,744 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 9/6/2011 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Carlisle, Bella
Always There by Caelistis.Rydraline reviews
Harry is plagued by feelings of uneasiness as he returns to Hogwarts. Soon, he begins to see a slender, faceless man, and fears he is losing his mind. I blame the wait between Marble Hornets entries for this.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,156 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/12/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
The BDSM Academy by hot under the collar reviews
Bella is training to become a sex slave.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 529 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 239 - Published: 7/3/2011 - Bella, Tyler - Complete
Harry Potter and The Serpent Girl by Alexandra Paradizo reviews
Alternate Universe, OC. Voldemort has a daughter. As an orphan Dumbledore raised her at Hogwarts, to Bring her back into the light, but will it work? Or will Alventine slip out of Dumbledore's manipulations, and manipulate one of his own Gryffindors?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 26,630 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 6/6/2011 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Harry P., OC
Don't Fear The Reaper by EternalxSunshine reviews
Bella gets captured by a stranger in the middle of the night. She is brought to the black market and her life changes instantly. She encounters terrifying situations. WARNING Dominant Edward & Jasper. OOC warning. BE CAREFUL READING IF EASILY OFFENDED!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 54,153 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 462 - Updated: 5/8/2011 - Published: 6/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
Bloody Choices by nitareality reviews
In 1347 a great pestilence swept through Europe. The choices that Bella's Father makes set off a string of events he could never have predicted. Dark, vampire Cullens. Mature rating for subject matter, violence and sex.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 40,548 - Reviews: 568 - Favs: 440 - Follows: 511 - Updated: 4/4/2011 - Published: 4/21/2010 - Edward, Bella
The Black Dragon by Valse De La Lune reviews
Bella defied the arrogant Edward. He will not forget her. She will be his sacrifice, he will make her his prisoner, and he will make her his, after all, he is the most feared. He is known as The Black Dragon. All Human. Dark. Medieval
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 32,713 - Reviews: 1256 - Favs: 1,167 - Follows: 1,356 - Updated: 4/3/2011 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Bella, Edward
Flesh & Blood by JizzyHips reviews
Flesh and blood. That's what our lives had become. They consume the flesh, we consume the blood. Rated M for language, eventual lemons, and a fuckton of gore. Dark/AU Collab between HammerHips and JaspersIzzy
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 19 - Words: 44,808 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 325 - Updated: 2/19/2011 - Published: 1/8/2011 - Jasper, Bella
WHAT NOT TO WRITE by bitchinblackframedglasses reviews
Tired of seeing things that annoy you to death on fan-fiction? I was, here is my rambling about things NOT to write. Plus, some tips and responses for and from readers! REVAMPED-includes HP rants too! Enjoy.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,799 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/5/2011 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Complete
My Black Dahlia by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When Edward left Bella in New Moon, she became a drug/cutting addict. She is sent to Rehab, but what if her doctor, who is supposed to help her get better, is the reason she's there? Will she except help from Edward?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 31,571 - Reviews: 1059 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Can bad things be good in the long run? by MissAnderson92 reviews
Basically this is a Carlisle/Bella fic. If you dont like them please dont read. This is set in NM... ONly Edward and Esme leave but when things go bad someone betrays their family? Warning Contains Rape and violence. please read and review x
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 26,181 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 1/7/2011 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Bella, Carlisle
Through the trees, the darkness is radiant by SamieJamesBait reviews
"I don't know what it is about you, but I don't want to kill you, Bella." He turns to leave, but pauses and turns back to me. Smiling sadistically, he continues, "Yet." Darkward. Dark Theme. It's not a fairy tale. Entry for the Pick a Pic challenge.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,456 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 23 - Published: 1/5/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Other Freak Show by FoxInBox aka FIB reviews
When Darren gets curious about what other shows are like, he finds himself facing the terror of the Dark Woods Circus
Crossover - Darren Shan Saga/Cirque Du Freak & Vocaloid - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,940 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/1/2010 - Complete
A Normal Halloween by JamesRamsey reviews
A collab with HammerHips. In an attempt to start rebuilding her life after the Cullens abandoned her, Bella takes a babysitting job that goes horribly awry. Vampires aren't the worst kind of monster. Entry for 'A Different Kind of Fear' contest. AU OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,249 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 33 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Haunted House by RachelxMichelle reviews
Edward drags Bella to a haunted house on Halloween night along with Jasper and Alice. What starts out as good fun, takes a dark and bloody turn for the worst. Who will make it out alive? All Human - Dark themes
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,703 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Bella - Complete
Skeletons by s. du jour reviews
Edward kills Charlie, forcing Bella to come to some realisations about what she really wants for her life - but the wedding's going to happen anyway. Psychological horror, some violence. Dark, but you may have guessed that. Not OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,766 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Deadly Reunion by RachelxMichelle reviews
It's been four years since Edward left Bella in the woods alone. When he returns and realizes that she has moved on, he decides to try and make her love him again. - Obsession can be a deadly thing. dark themes and character death.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,835 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Blood by practicethis reviews
When Kokonoe doesn't pay attention in class one day, Aoki get's intrigued, and soon finds himself saying sorry to Rin every second. /AokixKokonoe/Lemon IF YOU DON'T APPROVE OF COUPLE DO NOT READ.
Kodomo no Jikan - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,732 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 10/24/2010 - Published: 6/23/2010
Common Ground by Snapegirlkmf reviews
Harry hides in the library on Halloween, trying to escape his dreadful memories of Lily's death. No one else seems to remember or care that he lost everything that night. He is found by Snape . . .and also a troll. WINNER-BEST HALLOWEEN STORY at P&S! sequel Common Interests!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,306 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 1,607 - Follows: 449 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Devil in a Sweet Kiss by Felicity Dream reviews
What if there was a reason for Bella's clumsiness? What if she'd been paralyzed her whole life, but had recently learned to move? And the reason why she could suddenly move was because…she was telekinetic. Dr. Cullen may just be the first to find out.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,879 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 390 - Follows: 441 - Updated: 9/5/2010 - Published: 12/20/2008 - [Bella, Carlisle]
Beautiful Disaster by XintoxicatedxbyxTwilightX reviews
Bella Swan didnt ask for a life like this. She was born into it. A abusive father and a mother addicted to meds. She has to fend for her little sister. Can she deal with this on her own? What if she cracks. Can a new family in town help her through it? RR
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 61,852 - Reviews: 853 - Favs: 363 - Follows: 300 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 7/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Cries of Haruhi Suzumiya: Kamigoroshi by Thnikkafan reviews
In the small sleepy town of Hinamizawa, there have been a string of murders connected to the Watanagashi festival. This has piqued the interest of one Haruhi Suzumiya, who has decided to investigate. But, of course, things are more than they seem...
Crossover - Haruhi Suzumiya series & Higurashi/Umineko series - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 58,793 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 8/10/2010 - Published: 1/21/2010 - Kyon - Complete
Use Somebody by Lis123 reviews
After the accident at Bella's Birthday party Edward decides to leave. Carlisle offers to stay a while to make sure Bella is ok. In the process, Bella and Carlisle grow close. Edward later returns for Bella but is he too late? Kind of a love triangle.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 32,424 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 8/1/2010 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
Harry Potter and the Ultimate Fanfiction Cliche by SparksMightFly reviews
Harry Potter is full of annoying, disturbing, and downright stupid cliches in its fanfiction. What would happen if Harry had to live with all of them? Funny, I think!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,445 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/16/2010 - Complete
Swimming Lessons by annasaurus-rex reviews
Snape teaches Voldemort and Lucius how to swim.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 818 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Voldemort, Severus S. - Complete
Blood Crazed by RachelxMichelle reviews
Bella Swan may look like an average 18 year old, but she's not. Her mother suspects something is going on and thinks shipping her off to live with her father who is the chief of police will help, but it won't. For the Darkella's Darkest Temptation Contest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,207 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 22 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Bella - Complete
20 Reasons why Harry Potter Owns Twilight by SparksMightFly reviews
Harry Potter is better, and this is why.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,041 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Complete
Isabella and The Cullens by Nessierox reviews
Isabella is a sweet innocent 6 yr old,going on a trip with her parents.I guess fate was not on their side.Bella is now all alone until the Cullens find her.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 57 - Words: 87,863 - Reviews: 875 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 284 - Updated: 6/23/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Like Father, Like Daughter by BloodWhiteWolf reviews
What If When Carlisle Was Changed He Had A Seven Year Old Daughter? What If Years Later Shes Changed Too? What Happens When They Meet Again In The Future? What If That Daughter Was Bella... What Happens Then? Why, ExB Of Course!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 37,819 - Reviews: 1030 - Favs: 860 - Follows: 844 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Bella, Carlisle
Reasons why Harry Potter is better than Twilight by YaoiSlash reviews
The title says it all. REVISED AND BETAED 7/3/11
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,347 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/18/2010
Starvation 1 by Penelope Wendy Bing reviews
A year after the rebels were defeated, a horrifying punishment has been devised: twenty-four children will be sent into an arena to kill one another. This is the first Hunger Games.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 82,060 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/5/2010 - Published: 3/9/2010 - Other tributes - Complete
Hidden in the woods by Silenceandmoods reviews
what happeneds when Carlisle finds Bella's house empty for three days and finds her crying in the woods
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,448 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/31/2010 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
Behind The Mask by Punk Trash Noiz reviews
Rin goes to a strange house and meets a girl who calls herself the Joker. Rin ends up falling for the girl, who plans on killing her. Lame oneshot based off of Joker. Rin x Miku, again.
Vocaloid - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,773 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/15/2010 - [Miku H., Rin K.] - Complete
Just another day by speakingwordsofwisdom reviews
Mulder and Scully fluff, set in the basement. Scullys sick, and Mulder tries to make her feel better...Fluffy, if you give it time.
X-Files - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,730 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/9/2010 - Published: 3/27/2010 - D. Scully, F. Mulder
My Encounter with Totheark by RulerOfTravels reviews
MARBLE HORNETS fanfic. semi-alternate-universe. could be the sequel to "My Encounter with The Slender Man". A creepy and twisted story. rated M or NC-17, details inside. Jay/Totheark.
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,604 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/31/2010 - MarbleHornets - Complete
My Encounter with The Slender Man by RulerOfTravels reviews
Slender Man meme fanfic. This story is creepy and twisted. yet hot, if you're into it. - rated M or NC-17, details inside.
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,540 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 55 - Published: 3/31/2010 - MarbleHornets - Complete
Could by UZUDAE reviews
Daisuke Aoki, try as he might, just cannot seem to fight of his smartest, cutest...most troublesome student. Is today perhaps the day he has to give in? *In no way does the author support illicit relations with minors, this is purely artisic expression
Kodomo no Jikan - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/9/2010 - Complete
Black Rose by MoonlightMaiden14 reviews
Serenity and Endymion have been reborn repeatedly because Serenity always dies during her eighteenth year. Now, she's dying again, and Endymion, the Scouts, and the Cullens try to save her, but Endymion is acting different. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE Twi/SM cros
Crossover - Sailor Moon & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,529 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Usagi T./Serena/Bunny/Sailor Moon - Complete
When the Wizards Cry by The Purple Bunny reviews
Bad things start to happen when Hinamizawa Syndrome strikes Hogwarts. Harry and his friends are sucked in this neverending cycle of horror. Story might contain spoilers.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Higurashi/Umineko series - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,893 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/5/2010 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Harry P., Keiichi M.
Red Dawn by the80srule reviews
Taking place after the failed seduction scene in Eclipse, Bella is spurned by Edward's rejection. Where will she go to fulfill her desires: La Push, or to another member of the Cullen clan? MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY, more lemons than a Minute Maid truck.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 45,757 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 1/22/2010 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Bella, Carlisle
Only Human by catharticone reviews
Esme and Carlisle ask to see Bella shortly after her return from Italy. Have they have changed their minds about welcoming her into their family?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,109 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 336 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 1/19/2010 - Published: 1/15/2010 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
Bound By love by susha1987 reviews
What if Bella was still determined about her future as a vampire...even after Edward left her. What will happen when her wishes are granted by the Volturi and Bella is forced to return to the Cullens? Read to find out! Usual parings: ExB SEQUEL NOW UP!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 44,375 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Prey by summer35 reviews
TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE Bella miraculously survives a vampire attack as a child. She returns to Forks 9 yrs later and against her will, she is drawn to Edward, and into a dangerous world where strict rules governed the uneasy coexistence...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,406 - Reviews: 1530 - Favs: 1,457 - Follows: 1,126 - Updated: 1/10/2010 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Union of Broken Murders by BeeBella reviews
Happy endings never last. When one Cullen seeks revenge on another, they never thought it would end up so... messy. The end result? Four dead Cullens and zero happy endings. Reality. My entry for the 'To Kill a Cullen' Contest. Rated M for dark themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,670 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Alice, Edward - Complete
Growing Pains by An Emotional Vampire reviews
4-year-old Bella loses her parents in a nasty attack and is rescued by the Cullens. Will they adopt her and help her or will they send her away? Read to find out! *Complete!*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 34 - Words: 44,253 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 455 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 12/28/2009 - Published: 9/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Ever So Slightly Broken by sammy169 reviews
When Phil kills Bella's mother, she knows it's time to get out. She goes to Forks to stay with her father Charlie Swan. She thinks she has left all the danger behind, she would be wrong. B/E **NOT ALL HUMAN!** T for abuse, mentions of rape and language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 47,678 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 12/28/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Darkness by tutriceange reviews
Alice and Jasper's story from their first meeting up until they meet up with the Cullens. This is what I think happens. In both POVs! Please read and review! :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,991 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
First Day of School by An Emotional Vampire reviews
Sometimes Esme has a hard time getting her children out of school for their first day after being changed. *Complete*
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,034 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Esme - Complete
What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life? by Kristen Elizabeth reviews
The Cullens face a threat that could rip their newly-formed family apart and forever silence the sweetest voice amongst them. Jasper/Alice, pre-Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 47,158 - Reviews: 383 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 11/27/2009 - Published: 12/15/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs Twilight by momijisan89 reviews
a list and various reasons why Buffy the Vampire Slayer OWNS Twilight
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,871 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/23/2009 - Published: 6/11/2009
The Sweet Revenge of a Shattered Heart by writer-person-thingy reviews
When Edward leaves, Bella's life falls down the drain. This is her revenge. Warnings: Oheshot, rape, abuse, quite morbid, VERY OOC, character death, NOT FOR EDWARD LOVERS NOR THE FAINT OF HEART! WRITTEN ON A WHIM, NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,097 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/17/2009 - Bella - Complete
Little Bella by Ariane1126 reviews
Bella is four years old when she is found by the Cullens. She grows up with them and they soon discover she is special.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 91,904 - Reviews: 1773 - Favs: 1,847 - Follows: 839 - Updated: 11/4/2009 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fallen Angel by Naitan reviews
Rosalie meets Bella as a baby. When she realizes that Bella's blood sings to her, she prepares to watch over Bella from the shadows, for the rest of her life. Rosalie/Bella, onesided.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 17,996 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 9/6/2009 - Published: 5/8/2009 - Rosalie, Bella
Saying Hello and Goodbye by Giggler reviews
Bella didn't jump off the cliff in New Moon and she didn't become friends with Jacob. She was bitten by another vampire.What will Bella do if she met up with Cullens 100 years later?My first fanfiction.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,205 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/6/2009 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Bella, Edward
Isle Esme by maggiekb reviews
The story of how Carlisle and Esme first met, fell in love, and came to be husband and wife. Flashbacks to the past, reliving their experiences before they were a couple. Please read and review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,470 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 9/5/2009 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Forever Fades Away by LissaJane1121 reviews
A new guy comes to Forks High School and is very interested in the Cullens. Especially Alice. Will the Cullens learn what he truly is before it's too late? Or will Alice become his next victim?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 31,625 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 9/3/2009 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
A Whole Different Kind of New Moon by skeletoninme reviews
What if Carlisle had come back instead of Alice? What if Edward hadn't gone to Italy? What if Bella got over Edward? My first attepmt at Bella/Carlisle. Please read. : Help an author out? Please read. :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 39,600 - Reviews: 908 - Favs: 473 - Follows: 539 - Updated: 9/3/2009 - Published: 7/16/2008 - Bella, Carlisle
Unwanted Guests by SawManiac211 reviews
The Cullen family get some unwanted guests...please R&R. Dedicated to my mad Twilight Cult...just don't kill me for the ending...please...
Crossover - Saw & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,996 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Complete
Without a Gun by dustyrose03 reviews
It's been 4 months since they escaped Italy,but when those you thought you would never see again,return. Intentions become clear and what would you do if you had to risk the life of the one you loved? Sequel to Another Way To Die! AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,300 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
Carlisle and Esme: How the Love Story Began by TwiliteAddict reviews
Esme & Carlisle are the strong foundation of the Cullen Coven, but this love story started as a tragedy for Esme. Read how Carlisle saved Esme & how they overcame their fears & demons to find a happily ever after. Winner of several fanfic awards, CANON.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 49,484 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 7/24/2009 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
I'm Always In Love by LisaLovesCurry reviews
Here's a story about how Carlisle and Esme met and fell in love-summer's the perfect time for fluff...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 27,153 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Another way to die by dustyrose03 reviews
Bella is nearing 16,the Princess of Italy. Edward is 17,the brother of the Mafia bosses; and Edward has wanted nothing more than to be exactly like them. So when Bella runs away from the life she never wanted, Edward is ordered to kidnap her... AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 41,360 - Reviews: 609 - Favs: 573 - Follows: 251 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Triptych by Melancholy Ink Splatter reviews
Sequel to Bells and Roses. Rated T to be safe, nothing serious yet. BellAliRose. Femslash. Don't like it, flame away. Review if you read. Thanks, enjoy. :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 32,701 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
Jasper succeeds by hater of reality reviews
What would happen if Jasper succeed in getting to Bella when she cut her finger at her birthday party? Set at the start of New Moon. What happens when Victoria comes for revenge? But this time Bella is a vampire. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 34,193 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
New Race by BlueAngel07 reviews
A nuclear war has swept over the earth. Any human the didn’t died for the blast died from the hands of a vampire. Can there still be a humanity? Set after the Cullen’s return in New Moon…
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 26,210 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Empty Memories by Naitan reviews
All human. Warning- female pairings and themes. Rated M for violence, abuse and possibly sex scenes. Alice/Bella. Bella meets a troubled mute called Alice at a rehabilitation clinic. As their relationship deepens, they learn more of each others' troubles.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 53,001 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 5/1/2009 - Alice, Bella
Smiling Through the Pain by taylorjeanjn reviews
“Rosalie? It’s Bella. Please. You have to help me.” I was whispering as low as I possibly could, and speaking quickly; a habit that I had when I was nervous. There was a brief pause on the other end of the line... Book 2 in Breaking Dawn from BPOV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 60,072 - Reviews: 824 - Favs: 526 - Follows: 263 - Updated: 6/24/2009 - Published: 9/25/2008 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
Father’s Day: Some consider us Monsters! by alybee reviews
Post Breaking Dawn one-shot. Carlisle reflects on his role as a father after a disturbing evening in the Emergency Room.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,180 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Carlisle - Complete
Not Always Logical by BubblyBlue reviews
Does Rose really hate Bella as much as she acts like she does? What if there was a hidden meaning to the way she acts towards her, how would Bella react to the news? Rosalie/Bella Pairing. One-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,464 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 32 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
Past by Miyagawa Chie reviews
87 years ago, tragedy befell a Chicago boarding school in the middle of Winter. Now Edward and Bella have a chance to find out what happened to four girls all those yoears ago, but will they like what they discover? Post BD. R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,804 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/14/2009 - Published: 10/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Children of Her Heart by alybee reviews
A series of one-shots from Esme’s point of view as she reflects on the individual characteristics of each of her family members.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,768 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Esme - Complete
Trafficking by lmbrtvll reviews
After managing to escape her abusive father Bella thinks her life is going to get better, but it's not. She has been sold into slavery as an unwilling prostitute.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 113,019 - Reviews: 1630 - Favs: 1,208 - Follows: 554 - Updated: 5/4/2009 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Confessions can be a GAME! by Amore di Crepuscolo reviews
One day Alice gets board and they all decide to play a game. Will this game reveal secrets that nobody else knew or cause havic in the Cullen household? post-eclipse R/R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,540 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/23/2009 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Bella
Boy Meets Girl by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Complete. They met each other on a subway. She was still wearing the bracelet from the hospital. He still had track marks from the night before. My answer to a challenge. No character deaths or abuse. All human. Alice and Jasper
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,156 - Reviews: 953 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Harry Potter: If Only by TeamVampire reviews
Harry Potter version. Series of one shots about hilarious situations which could occur, if only someone would trigger them.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,601 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/17/2009 - Published: 1/5/2009
Vampire Heart by Queenbeth2 reviews
AU. vampires have enslaved humans. Edward comes to the Center to get his first human and finds Bella, immune to his mind reading and rebellious. He takes her, planning to learn more about her strange behavior. Full Summery inside. ExB JxA COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 123,541 - Reviews: 2374 - Favs: 2,653 - Follows: 979 - Updated: 2/11/2009 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Twilight: If Only by TeamVampire reviews
Twilight version. Series of one shots about hilarious situations which could occur, if only someone would trigger them.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 585 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/31/2009
To Live by Tainted Grace reviews
Set on 1900's Bella meets a cruel and raw vampire.Can she put a heart on him? Make him feel human? What happens when he loses it and destroys every progress he made? Can he change for good or his anger takes the best of him? ExB Very DARK Edward
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 19 - Words: 48,918 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 1/26/2009 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Shadow by Musings of a Shaken Mind reviews
Shadow: –noun. 1. A person who is the property of and wholly subject to another; a bond servant. 2. A person entirely under the domination of some influence or person. 3. A drudge: a housekeeping slave. AH; AU. BxE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,366 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/3/2009 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Six Interruptions by Brynna reviews
At some point during their years together, each of the Cullen kids intrude upon one of Carlisle and Esme's intimate moments. This is a look at Carlisle and Esme's long relationship through the lens of those six interruptions.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,531 - Reviews: 633 - Favs: 845 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 12/27/2008 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Heirs of the Founders by Heroine of the Valley reviews
SMHP, Tom Riddle's timeframe After defeating Voldemort, Harry makes a wish that Tom Riddle never became Voldemort. His wish is granted, but how will it come true? story finished, Serena and the other heirs complete their destiny, only to start another.
Crossover - Sailor Moon & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 23 - Words: 111,060 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 11/30/2008 - Published: 6/19/2005 - Usagi T./Serena/Bunny/Sailor Moon, Tom R. Jr. - Complete
All The Pretty Corpses by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
COMPLETE Bella Swan is a siren to the vampires. They come far and wide to hear her beautiful voice. NOT a song fic. BXE Darker side of Stephenie's vampires.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,132 - Reviews: 779 - Favs: 496 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 11/2/2008 - Published: 5/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fear of the Dark by Jesse Cullen reviews
AU New Moon. After Edward leaves, Bella attempts suicide and ends up in a psychiatric hospital where she and her psychiatrist attempt to rid Bella of personal demons come to life and that are terrorizing the hospital. Rated M to be safe.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,152 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 10/25/2008 - Published: 4/3/2008 - Complete
A Family of My Own by JAZZIES-GIRL reviews
“Wait, so you knew that Dumbledore had killed the Potters and you still didn’t know that I was Voldemort’s son?” Harry finds out that he has a family, well, a father anyway. Maybe HarryDraco later on...probably HarryDraco later on...Rated T to be safe.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 33,336 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 584 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 10/13/2008 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Obvious Solution by TeamVampire reviews
A series of humorous one shots about the obvious solutions to the problem that is Voldemort.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 795 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/5/2008 - Published: 8/16/2008 - Voldemort
Bells and Roses by Melancholy Ink Splatter reviews
A Bella/Rosalie fic with plot. Fem-slash. Please review if you take the time to read. Thanks. M for sex later on and some language. Rose from the beginning. Can she trust Bella with her secret? Can she win her love? If so, will it survive? Will Bella?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,354 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 582 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
I AM Silent by Child-Of-God13 reviews
Bella is vampire that moves to Forks with her vampire "parents". She can see all of your past thoughts and whole life in a single touch. The catch: she hasn't spoken since her change. Can the Cullens get her to speak? ExB First chap a double chap
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 32,448 - Reviews: 1499 - Favs: 1,038 - Follows: 484 - Updated: 6/2/2008 - Published: 2/14/2008 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8459 - Favs: 7,660 - Follows: 1,795 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Running, As Fast As I Can by Child-Of-God13 reviews
Bella is being hunted by James, so she runs away to Forks. Then she meets the Cullen's. How will this change things? And will James finally get ahold of Bella? Or will she escape? What about Edward? How will these facts change our favorite love story? ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,454 - Reviews: 787 - Favs: 409 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 5/13/2008 - Published: 3/8/2008 - Complete
Supernatural by Ushio-chan reviews
First part of my Witchcraft Trilogy. Vampires and werewolves live under a reluctant truce, but the arrival of a witch,Bella, and the disappearance of the village children can start a war. BxE,AU,OOC. Completed.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,569 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 4/10/2008 - Published: 2/4/2008 - Complete
Monster by LovelyPriestess reviews
[COMPLETE] Esme’s past included an abusive husband… What if that 'husband' had been unknowingly turned into a vampire, and he’s come back, more than seventy years later, to reclaim his wife? After all, they were never 'properly' divorced. [E x C][B x E]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 66,499 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 9/15/2007 - Published: 5/6/2007 - Complete
Things You Should Never Do by Sadness-is-Beautiful reviews
50 things you should never, ever, ever do, as demonstrated by the good people...and vampires...and werewolves...of Forks.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 8,852 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 3/1/2007
Bad, Bad Bella by inksmudged reviews
Bella develops a taste for danger while chasing Edward's voice. She becomes dark, angry, and dangerous. When Edward returns at long last, how will he react to the new Bella? Will she be able to return to the girl she used to be? [ExB]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,184 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 8/7/2007 - Published: 6/20/2007 - Complete
Echoes of the Past by DragonShadow reviews
Jenny Wakeman learns about her family history, about a man who created three little girls with superpowers... or so legend says. Her investigation into the truth reawakens an ancient evil... and an ancient good.
Crossover - Powerpuff Girls & My Life as a Teenage Robot - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,106 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/28/2004 - Complete
Twilight Summary reviews
Just a funny story my friend Skyla wrote. Its the summary of Twilight. I didn't really bother checking it. I just uploaded.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,197 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Bella - Complete