Poll: Who do you want to appear in "Wolverine and the X-Men, Season 2"? Vote Now!
Author has written 14 stories for Doctor Who, Spyro the Dragon, Dawn of the Dead, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Zombie Survival Guide, Batman the Animated Series, Justice League, Deadpool, Halo, Wolverine & the X-Men, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Minecraft.
Current writing status:
Hobbies: Machinima, fanfiction, reading, games, skiing, Warhammer 40,000, guitar, beer.
Location: South-East of England, United Kingdom, European Union.
Chances are, if you've found this, you've either stumbled across my stories or just have a lot of spare time on your hands.
Please note all stories are not updated as they used to be- I'm now really busy
Wolverine and the X-Men Season 2, should be obvious what for.
Did I Matter, a Halo fanfic based on the events of Halo Reach
Everything's Better with Deadpool, a Deadpool fanfic which is a mix of crossover and action
The Laughing Fish, novelising a B:tAS episode of the exact same name
This City Belongs to the Dead, Urban Dead-based
Never Loyal: My Red vs Blue fanfic
Quarantine: Zombie story
The World that Dragons Forgot: Spyro story
Old Shame/Discontinued for a long time==
The Fourth Boss, Christopher Nolan's Batman
Christmas Jeer, a Justice League fanfic
Prowler, a Batman Animated Series fanfic
Seeds of Turmoil, Doctor Who fanfic (if I can be bothered, this one was atrocious)
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense was hospitalized when the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
In case Common sense comes back from the grave to eat our brains, read him these actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowentairon: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Unsafe External Link