Twonk
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Joined 12-15-08, id: 1770930, Profile Updated: 09-03-09
Author has written 10 stories for Alice in Wonderland, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Twilight, A Clockwork Orange, and Pride and Prejudice.

Hey I'm Twonk. The name should tell you a lot. If not, see a doctor.

So yes, I like writing stories- hence the FanFiction. It drives my mum insaaaaaane, not that she had far to go.

"What have you been doing?"

"I've been on the Internet."

"Doing what, though?"

"FanFiction."

Now she should be saying something like: "YES Twonk! Embrace that creativity of yours, that, if we take the right measures, will make you RICH!" Does she say that? Does she heck.

"Right. I see."

"Why? What?"

"Nothing but... Haven't you got any work to do?"

(Sullenly) "I've DONE it."

"Pull the other one. It's got elephants on."

Why would I want to pull something with ELEPHANTS on? What if they fall off and I get crushed to death? Think how many people would weep and wail at my funeral... ah. Oh dear.

I like Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter and all that SHIBAZZ, just getting into Alex Rider (is it me, or does that sound weird?) and I HATE Pride and Prejudice. I'm prejudiced against it. Ironic, but there you go.

Can't think of anything else to write- oh yeah. I'm seventeen. With the mentality of one who is seven. Don't let it annoy you. Just repeat to yourself sloooowly that it's a lovable trait.

Check out my stuff if you like. It may be the last thing that you ever doooo... MOOO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ARRRGH! MY ASTHMA!

Thanx xxx. XD.

Oh, and my biggest aim is to win Britain's Got Talent. Problem is, my dad won't take me to the auditions, I have no money, no kindly neighbour who would take me from the sweetness of their heart, no driving licence to get me up there off my own steam, and sadly... I have no talent. Yet.

Some random surveys that I'm doing now I'm bored...

A Survey

Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?
My sister, and she said: "Get off the Internet now, bitch." I love her.

Where are you?
Sitting on a VERY hard wooden chair, in the shit-pit (excuse my French) my dad calls his office. World War Three has NOTHING on this...

Look up, now look back. What did you see?
I saw the face of Jesus Christ, smiling at me and mouthing "It's your time..." No, seriously, I just saw my ceiling. I was actually kinda disappointed.

What's the last thing you ate?
Pasta in a cup. Yes, really. It's like cuppa soup, but it's cuppa pasta. It's gross.

What's your personality like?
I don't know. Ask someone else. Astarael's Get or Little Fire Thief can tell you.

Who do you have a crush on?
Well, there's this guy... blush, simper... why would I post this on the INTERNET? Only the criminally insane would do such a thing! Okay, good point. His name is... nope I'm not that far gone.

What was the last thing you thought?

Oh my God Little Fire Thief SHUT UP and stop rubbing it in my face that I deleted How Hogwarts Destroyed Music. It needed to be done, I tell you!

You have a million dollars. What do you do?
I would pay JK Rowling to write a book JUST about Gilderoy Lockhart and Severus Snape. I'm sad, I know.

What are you eating/drinking RIGHT NOW?
Zilch, nothing. I may starve. If you're worried about me, please send a box of cookies to this address...

What are you thinking RIGHT NOW?
I wish I hadn't deleted How Hogwarts Destroyed Music...

What's it like being you?
One big roller coaster. To be honest.

What are your thoughts on writing?
Writing... mmm... you have total control. You can decide who dies and who doesn't. You can make people do things that they would never do normally. Hmmm, under personality I should put 'budding control freak.'

How tall are you?
5"4 (short ass, I know)

What book are you currently reading?
Rose Madder by Stephen King. Not his best, and kind of crappy. But I'll soldier on...

What music are you listening to?
Beat It: Michael Jackson (It's called BEING COOL, yeah. Not that I'd expect YOU to get that).

What was the last site you visited?
Quite sad really but... 100 best chicken jokes. I'm ashamed, I truly am.

What was the last thing you cooked?
What's "cooked"? I've never heard of this word. Oh, is the thing I get my younger sister to do? Yeah, I cooked oven chips like three days ago, and I couldn't find an oven glove. Burn my fingers and EAT, or let the chips incinerate, bearing in mind my own safety? OW! THE PAIN!

What color are the walls of the room you are in?
White with a hint of grey. Depression setting in...

Do you know who the governor of your state is?
Um... am I supposed to?

How many different programs are open on your computer right now?
Four, yes, one including the best chicken jokes. Hahahahaha- Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA

Have you ever been water-skiing?
Oh yeah, all the time. It's my main hobby, believe it or not. Okay, you read between the lines. No. But I want to.

What is the weather like?
(Gloomy) It looks like rain. Again. Oh the English weather! How I'll miss it when I move to nice, hot, sunny... Scotland. That's brilliant.

Are you going on vacation this summer and where?
Nope. I'm going to spend my time PRODUCTIVELY. I need to learn how to do the splits. It's a massive chip on my shoulder.

Anything else?
Yes. Ahem. I hate Twilight. HATE it. The film is okay, but only beacuse golden colour eyes are hot. That's it. Er... I do Tae Kwon- Do, Kickboxing and Ju Jitsu. When I tell people that, they think I'm a freak. Yay! Recognition at last! Oh, and I LOVE Gilderoy Lockhart because he's such an idiot. I'm also a strong Michael Jackson fan. Excuse me whilst I moonwalk to the fridge.


Other Names

YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Polizzle Is it just me, or does that suck?

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Orange Komodo. I like. I like A LOT.

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Jeanetta (yes, I know) Holcombe. Wow! I like it! MUM! I need to change my name IMMEDIATELY! TO THE COURTS!

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Bropoons Sound's kind of Scottish. Say it with a scottish accent. It'll become your worst nightmare.

YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Red Sunny Delight Florida Style "Oh My God! Red Sunny Delight Florida Style SAVE ME NOW! HELP!"- Surely by the time they've said my whole name, they would be dead anyways. Or at least slightly unconscious.

YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Jane BooooOOOOOoooring

YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Staffie I actually quite like the ring to that one. I might have to adopt it ASAP. People will speak this name with FEAR!

Harry Potter-y Stuff:

The character I first fell in love with: Severus Snape (I know, I know, but don't get me started. I'll have a serious fangirl moment)
The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Dean Thomas (Why? I don't know. He doesn't DO anything...)
The character everyone loves but I don't: Ginny Weasley (ARRRRGGGGHHHH! She's SO annoying!! Why couldn't the Basilisk do it's stuff?)
The character I love but everyone else hates: Gilderoy Lockhart (He's BRILLIANT. To laugh at that is.)
The character I used to love but don't any longer: Ludo Bagman (Yes, I thought he was awesome. But I realised that Lockhart was so much better)
The character I'd like to be: Lily Potter (Fk James, Snape was the way to go...)
The character I'd like to slap: Slughorn (Repeatedly- I really dislike him. But not as much as Ginny. She wouldn't get a slap... She'd get a three sixty spinning kick to the face.)
A pairing that I love: Snape/Lockhart (But Lockhart does the chasing. Snape wanting Lockhart would just be... wrong.)
A pairing that I despise: Hermione/Kreacher (It's DISGUSTING. I almost threw up- Thank God the story has been removed.)

Name ten characters from Harry Potter, then answer the questions below.

1) Severus Snape

2) Gilderoy Lockhart

3) Lucius Malfoy

4) Ginny Weasley

5) Horace Slughorn

6) Luna Lovegood

7) Mad-Eye Moody

8) Ludo Bagman

9) Dean Thomas

10) Minerva McGonagall

Are number 2 and 5 friends?

Hmm, are Gilderoy Lockhart and Slughorn friends? I wasn’t aware they knew each other. However, I expect they would be as they are both the biggest prats this side of the universe. Slughorn could hold the party, and Lockhart could be the ‘entertainment’.

Who do you like more 7 or 9?

I DON’T KNOW! Mad-Eye in JK’s books is BRILLIANT, but I have a real soft spot for Dean who is a humiliation target in all my fics. Dean, I guess. But I’m still going to sulk about it.

Can you imagine 1 ‘getting with’ 8?

Snape and Ludo… no. Snape would murder him. I’m a great fan of Snape slash- just to annoy my friend Little Fire Thief- and Lockhart and Snape (Snockhart haha) is a new favourite. But Ludo is a whole new level- Gilderoy is just an idiot, whilst Ludo’s a conniving idiot. Ludo and Snape is going too far.

If you could have any of the characters visit you for a day, who would it be?

Oooooh, hard one… only one? I’d have to have… I DON’T KNOW! I adore Snape, Lockhart and Luna. Lucius is cool and Mad-Eye is a ledge. Dean is my little nutter and Ludo I could persuade to make a really stupid bet, then win all his money. Snape I guess. I’m his NUMBER ONE fan.

Which song best suits 6?

‘Close to you’ by the Carpenters. It’s slow and dreamy and sweet just like Luna herself. I can imagine her singing it out of her window. Aw, that’s so sweet…

Are you in any way attracted to the character concept of number 10?

Now, much as I’m sure that McGonagall is a very attractive laydee, I just don’t swing that way. So no. But I bet Mad-Eye is though, if that’s any ‘comfort’…

Would you buy a burger for character 4 at Burger King if they were short of cash?

Ginny Weasley? No frickin’ way. Not a chance in hell. I HATE her, plus she’s always poor. I’d end up ALWAYS buying her a burger, then I’d be poor. Stupid little Mary Sue… she ruins Harry, I reckon.

Would you write a fic where 3 kisses 5?

Lucius kisses Slughorn? LUCIUS KISSES SLUGHORN? I’m on it.

Whose house are you most likely to bomb 8 or 6?

Ludo’s no question. As long as Ludo was actually in it and not off making a stupid bet somewhere with more goblins…

Would you write a fic where 7 has a secret crush on Harry Potter?

Mad-Eye and Harry? Could be interesting I guess, as long as Harry is over sixteen. I love slash, it’s hot, but any paedophilia makes me sick. Yeah, I will when I have time- after Lucius and Slughorn of course.

Who is most likely to become a gangster and shoot every student at school 2 or 9?

Lockhart- no doubt about it. There’s something seriously unstable about that man…

If you met up with 4 in a dark alley what would you do?

Mug her.

Would 10 go on a date with number 1? Why? Why not?

Yawn, that pairing is SO old. Yes, yes, yes times a million. I just wouldn’t do it because it’s SO dull…

Is 3 the life and soul of the party? Would they dance the tango with 7?

Yes, and yes; he would love it. Getting hawt on da danceflooooor…..

Out of all the characters who is the most likely to throw a sausage roll at Dumbledore then leg it?

Slughorn- he’s a professional sausage roll lobber. Plus Dumbledore would probably like it... GET THAT THOUGHT OUTTA MY HEAD!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

RIP Jacko- you've gone to a place where you'll be understood. You've touched so many people, and even though lots were against you, many more loved you for all that you have done- you've inspired millions. Good luck on your next journey MJ. Love Twonk xx

EVERYTHING IS ON HIATUS AT THE MOMENT- CAN'T BE BOVVERED AS LIFE HAS CRUELLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME. NOOOO NOT PRISON!

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Hell is Other People by amitai reviews
After a series of attacks, Alex's entire class is sent to be trained at the SAS training camp, to give them a degree of self sufficiency to help them defend themselves. Unfortunately for Alex, he has to go with them... and not get noticed as different.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 169,938 - Reviews: 3269 - Favs: 2,702 - Follows: 3,107 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 5/2/2007 - Alex R./Cub
Dear Order by SilverWolf7007 reviews
"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 23,268 - Reviews: 5540 - Favs: 8,376 - Follows: 8,988 - Updated: 2/25/2014 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Harry P., Luna L.
Reunion by Rorschach's Blot reviews
It all starts with Hogwarts' Class Reunion.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 61,134 - Reviews: 1696 - Favs: 3,972 - Follows: 3,138 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 11/14/2008 - Complete
Trigger by xxfolkvir reviews
The difference between the impossible and possible lies in a person's determination. Alex is full of determination and is not afraid to use it, but at what cost? Many paths are laid out in front of him; his choice will be the catalyst for many others.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 24 - Words: 37,337 - Reviews: 464 - Favs: 352 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 1/7/2013 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Alex R./Cub, Yassen G. - Complete
Georgia Nicolson and the Goblet of PANTS! by Rictusemprax reviews
When Georgia Nicolson receives her late-term admission letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, her world is turned upside down - will she finally have to actually *gasp* grow up!
Confessions of Georgia Nicolson - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 25,247 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 10/15/2011 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Georgia N., Dave
Aftershock by JamyGrint reviews
WARNING DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS! The events after the Battle Of Hogwarts. Takes place in the 19 years before the Epilogue.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 29 - Words: 40,046 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 10/12/2011 - Published: 5/7/2009 - Complete
House Of Black: First Impressions by Little Fire Thief reviews
Hers. His. A tangled web of jealousy and betrayal that bore the lone heir of an ancient house. Watch out, Hogwarts. Corvus R.R. Black is on his way. Better Summary Inside. May contain spoilers up to DH. Formerly titled 'The House Of Black: Year One'.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 27,612 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/17/2011 - Published: 10/27/2008 - Harry P., OC
Snape's Elevator Adventures:The Return of Snapette by A True Weasley reviews
It's back! More bugging Snape on the elevator! Sequel to Snape's Elevator Adventures.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 10,792 - Reviews: 391 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 3/18/2011 - Published: 6/27/2009 - Severus S.
Clockwork by Sedaytion reviews
Her dream, the Mad Hatter, was everything. He found her but then the trust was smashed through bloody ways. Wonderland twisted and he changed from her loving dream to her biggest, most feared Nightmare. Horror. Better description inside xxx
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,784 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/2/2010 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Mad Hatter/Hatta, March Hare/Haigha
Interruptions by suspense button presser reviews
Several humorous one shots of what happens when the characters of Harry Potter get interrupted. I insist that the stories are much better than their summary.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 12,627 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/25/2010 - Published: 5/19/2009
Alice and Ro by completeandtotalrandomness reviews
Alice apparently hasn't had enough of her boring little adventures and that's when the modern day tomboy Ro comes in. At the moment Ro is chasing after our favorite rabbit that serves the Queen of Hearts!
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,604 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/1/2010 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Alice, Queen of Hearts
Whisper's Story by The-Purple-Fox reviews
Whisper was nearly two years old when she met Bold. What happened in the meantime?
Animals of Farthing Wood - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,064 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 7/4/2008
Before The Horror by Ava the Book Worm reviews
What really happened before the events of The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Why was Frank sent to Earth? And why did Riff Raff hate Frank so much? These questions and more are explored in Before The Horror. NOTE: Story is on hiatus at the moment.
Rocky Horror - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,859 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/24/2010 - Published: 1/2/2009
Are You My Daddy? by ifiluvu reviews
How did Severus Snape find himself with a young 4yr old Harry Potter?This wasnt his idea!-He stood tall and eyed the man with the purple face saying, “I’m here to take Potter.”-or maybe it was.Why does Harry call him daddy?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 23 - Words: 67,087 - Reviews: 1132 - Favs: 901 - Follows: 1,204 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 2/24/2008 - Harry P., Severus S.
Temptation by xxfolkvir reviews
Some lines are not meant to be crossed. One step over the boundary could result in disasterous consequences. Alex will dance between the lines. But the question is, which way will he fall?
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,421 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 5/23/2009
Running Through the Night ::Jacob Black:: by ThatMonsterEm reviews
With her father suffering from pancreatic cancer, Leann Champagne moved to Forks where her mother is living with her new family. With danger surrounding the seemingly normal girl, our favorite werewolf discovers the one person that can keep up with him.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 42,450 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 3/18/2009 - Jacob - Complete
Five Date Rule by muggleborn444 reviews
James gets creative and desperate when Lily finally goes out with him...as he learns about her "five date rule". How long can James go without that kiss?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,738 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/26/2009 - Published: 3/18/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Moments in Time by sick-atxxheart reviews
Each moment changes a life, and some are more important than others. 100 times in various characters' lives, with various pairings, eras, and focuses. For the 100 Times challenge on HPFC. Currently: Fenrir teased.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 1,920 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/24/2009 - Published: 3/16/2009
I Dream of Potter by TheSecretWeasley5147 reviews
I tend to dream about the adventures of the Hogwarts kids, so here they are. I have a freaky, weird, odd subcinscience, so read this for a good laugh.In this fic we have a homicidal Edward Cullen and a crossdressing Draco Malfoy, and more!RW/HG HP/GW.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,948 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/17/2009 - Published: 3/17/2009
Snape's Elevator Adventures by A True Weasley reviews
All Snape wants to do is get home by taking the elevator, but several people are showing up and giving him long detours.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 6,159 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Severus S. - Complete
The Bridge Between Him and Her by ohmyrainbow reviews
AU Daisy dies in the accident. A year later, Nick is invited to Gatsby's lifeless estate. Gatsby has changed in so many ways, and Nick tries to bring out the Gatsby he once knew. Daisy/Gatsby/Nick SLASH
Great Gatsby - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,282 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Complete
10 Random Facts: Next Generation Characters by lachambre11 reviews
Random Fact#3: “The first time Roxanne kissed Lorcan, it was because he was there, and she needed to feel wanted.” Ten random facts about the next-generation characters, at the beginning of their adult lives. Will feature chapters from their parents POVs.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,907 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/18/2009 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Rose W., Scorpius M.
Deviation by xxfolkvir reviews
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. Alex's missions are always successful, but his methods are......quite different. A collection of one-shots. Count: 3
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,400 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 6/16/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009
Alice in Wonderland by NVVICIOUS reviews
This is another take of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,460 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 4/4/2009 - Alice - Complete
Why do I by snails-on-the-french-riviera reviews
A poem about being in love with someone you know isn't good for you. anonymous PoV. angst-y, I guess. feedback appreciated.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/20/2009 - Complete
Dancing by giddymorose reviews
Luna loves dancing, and Ginny learns why. Fluffy drabble. Ginny/Luna femslash
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 638 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Published: 5/20/2009 - Ginny W., Luna L. - Complete
The Cheshire Grin by Joker'sOnlyFear reviews
The Cheshire Cat has "stolen" the Joker's smile - and he wants it back. No slash.
Crossover - Batman Begins/Dark Knight & Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 405 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/7/2009 - Joker - Complete
Chapter 2 by WolfboyRules reviews
Hi
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 293 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/15/2009
The Final Solution by Count Iago reviews
Written as part two, after the events at Reichenbach falls, as the great detective deals with first the idea and then the reality that his arch enemy is still alive
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,317 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 2/4/2009
Harvey Dent's Chin by cursetheolive reviews
The Life and Lies of Harvey Dent's Chin
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,265 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/5/2009 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Harvey D., Joker - Complete
Murderous Fanatics Can Have Bad Days by LiteralBlue reviews
Something's up with Hidan, multiple concussions occur and Tobi has a theory... Third chapter up! Leader is emotionally vulnerable, Itachi gets a look at the account books and Tobi still doesn't understand. Updated weekly, contains OCs, Tobicentric!
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,955 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/3/2009 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Obito U./Tobi, Konan
Lennie's Return by the Last Flowerchild reviews
A funny story that me and a bunch of friends made up in English after reading Of Mice and Men. 10 years after George shot Lennie Smalls a string of murders begins making headlines and Lennie's death begins to haunt George's thoughts.
Of Mice and Men - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Tragedy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 6,393 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 3/29/2009 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Complete
Alice and Alice by moronic-muffin reviews
Alice of Superjail and Alice of Wonderland switch worlds, ensuring insanity. T for some crude words. A lot better than the summary XDDD
Crossover - Alice in Wonderland & Superjail! - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,316 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/28/2009 - Published: 3/27/2009
The Joker's Sonnet by Where Do You go
This is a parody of William Shakespeare's "Sonnet 18." Made out of respect for Shakespeare and love for Batman. If you're familiar with the sonnet, you'll be able to pick out obvious likenesses. I had great fun writing it! ;p
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/25/2009 - Complete
Song fic challenge RonXHermione by MrsWeaselWeasley reviews
its for a challenge. not very good but like R & R?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 450 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/20/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G.
The Mobile Library by grumpishpko reviews
Hermione takes a joke of Ron's a bit too seriously, and the Golden Trio, minus Rona and plus an unexpected guest, has a new mode of transportation, living, and a way to hunt down Voldemort. DH AU. Eventual minor H/Hr. Appearance by our favorite ghoul.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,021 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
The Singing Hippo by violet-phoenix-rose reviews
For the Recurring Dream challenge. Oneshot. Every other Tuesday, starting when she was 12, Luna Lovegood had the same dream...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 301 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Luna L. - Complete
Alice Cullen in wonderland by SamanthER Lmao reviews
The title say's it all really. Alice Cullen in wonderland. I'm not good at sumary's but please read.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,888 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 2/5/2009
Reginald The Mad Hatter by JDLuvaSQEE reviews
A poem describing Reginald L. Theophilus III The Mad Hatter! READ & REVIEW! I LOVE REGINALD L. THEOPHILUS III! Reginald belongs to Bri-Chan!
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 3 - Words: 319 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 2/28/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Mad Hatter/Hatta - Complete
A Very Meaningful Poem by Voldemort Perfumes reviews
An acrostic poem, centred on madness. The poem itself and the format are quite mad themselves. It is a very meaningful mad poem. Reviews are delightful.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 288 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Alice - Complete
Twisted Rose by Rayvenwitch reviews
The Drabbles of Wonderland that I write when I can't write anything. Most of them are free standing but some tie into Both Shattered and Broken. Interesting enough for a short read, and you'll see sides of the characters you don't see often in my work. lo
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,385 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/11/2009 - Published: 11/16/2008
The Flashing by VampireQueenAkasha reviews
Parody of Stephen King's "The Shining". Oddly twisted and crazy.
Shining - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,752 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Complete
On The Record by Billy Tom Plummer Ledger reviews
Something I came up w/ during algebra class. Mrs. Stevens inspired the white coats because in my mind all math teachers are mental patients!
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Cheshire Cat, Alice - Complete
Is This a Smile Which I See Before Me? by mergirl007 reviews
/Is this a smile which I see before me, the face dangerously close to my hand? Come, let me slap it with love./ A parody of Macbeth's second monologue. Rated T for a tad bit of language.
Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 353 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Complete
Buttons by moronic-muffin reviews
Coraline and Once Upon a Time in Mexico crossover, just a clever little thing i thought up. It's a funny story, one-shot.
Crossover - Once Upon a Time in Mexico & Coraline - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 521 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/6/2009 - Complete
A Day In The Life by Astarael's Get reviews
Oneshot, for a challenge. Warning: Sai, Tobi, Rimu, jigsaws, theft, and ostriches. Rated T because it's Rimu.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/6/2009 - Complete
A Carter and Lee Adventures by Beremy reviews
Carter and Lee are on a vacation in Boston where they are staying at the Tipson Hotel and while they are there they meet the Martin Twins Zack and Cody.
Rush Hour - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 270 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 2/2/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009
A Past Life, A New Leader by Peter Werkso reviews
Brian, a young droog leader, meets Alex years after he was "cured" and offers a chance to indulge in violence once more.
A Clockwork Orange - Rated: T - English - Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 681 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/2/2009
Alice in Wonderland by summerside03 reviews
With some rare free time, 25 year old Alice Landervy finds a familar surprise in her cherished garden.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Alice - Complete
Sitting On Pin Cushions by I Spaz With Pizzazz reviews
Who was to say mad wasn't actually sane? Oneshot.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 845 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Alice, Cheshire Cat - Complete
Mad as a Hatter by moronic-muffin reviews
The March Hare and The Mad Hatter decide write stuff with a random piece of paper. No slash XD just friends.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 419 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Mad Hatter/Hatta, March Hare/Haigha - Complete
If Only You Knew by The Grey Ghoul reviews
But you just don't. Harley Quinn POV. One-shot.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,099 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/17/2009 - Complete
Elegy by Restless Brook reviews
Batman breaks down in the aftermath of The Dark Knight. The Joker himself is witness to the death of Gotham’s only hope. AU. Slash. One-shot.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,981 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Bruce W./Batman, Joker - Complete
Donation by Randomwolf1 reviews
Arthur Dent's life is really screwed up, especially on Thursdays. R&R, reviewers get cake... the cake is a lie -- not to be confused with Portal, this is an H2G2 fic. very short oneshot.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 349 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Complete
I'm Mad, You Know? by dresdendollontheprowl reviews
My moments are filled with your face...*due to a concern, adult issues and content are present in this story, read at your own risk!*
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 707 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Mad Hatter/Hatta, Alice - Complete
Wonderland by Tenshi-No-Kouhi reviews
A small peek into what a typical day in Wonderland is like.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Alice, Mad Hatter/Hatta - Complete
The New Partner by archangel3214 reviews
Carter and Lee get a new partner! Will they survive the new girl?
Rush Hour - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 169 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/20/2008
Twilight in 17 Seconds? by Da Phoenix 13 reviews
This is not a loving parody of the first Twilight book. This is a parody full of much bitterness and unabashed hatred for this "book", so... if you're going to be offended, stay away! If you don't care if someone bashes your fandom... come on in!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,680 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/10/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Rush Hour: Chinese Monkey by Cops32 reviews
See if Carter has finally lost it.
Rush Hour - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Complete
Just Because It's You by GirlGirl2 reviews
Malory Towers. Darrell catches Alicia staring at her. What happens next catches her by suprise. A fifth-form fic. "It's always been me."
Enid Blyton - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 858 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Complete
Discworld RPG by Mrs Wizzard reviews
Watch the adventures of a food vendor, a guard, two werewolves, a wizardess, a vampire, a drunken priest, and his God, watch them travel to exoctic places, uncover shocking secrets, piss everyone off, and witness the return of a certain psychopath murdere
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 168,606 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/21/2008 - Published: 2/15/2008 - Complete
Light of a New Hope by Vickie Winstanley reviews
When Aang and co. see a girl being surrounded by fire-benders, the reacon it's going to be just another ordinary save. But when Aang aproaches the circle of benders, something very weird happens. Who is this girl? And why was she being surrounded? SokkaXO
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,035 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/22/2008 - Sokka
Old Loyalties by Lynxia reviews
A year has passed since the rat invasion in White Deer Park and since Fox gave his leadership to his grandson Plucky. A new Generation will decide the future of the Park. Old grudges come back to life and new lesssons have to be learned.
Animals of Farthing Wood - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,682 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/17/2008
Sweeney Todd in 17 Minutes! by Da Phoenix 13 reviews
It had to be done. Gaze in horror and laugh until your sides hurt as everyone's favorite cannibalism musical gets, well, cannibalized!
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,325 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/9/2008 - Complete
Severus Trelawney by yoshi09 reviews
Severus Snape hated breakfast. It used to be his favorite 30 minutes of the day consisting of a routine quiet browse through the Daily Prophet whilst eating toast, and maybe even leaving a Gryffindor in tears. Then along came Albus with his FANTASTIC idea
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,017 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/31/2007 - Severus S., Sybill T. - Complete
Cockandbull Correspondence from the Cupboard by Twisted Biscuit reviews
Draco Malfoy, War Hero apparently, goes into hiding in the cupboard under the stairs of Number 4 Privet Drive. This is a record of his ordeal, in his own words. The veracity of his words is, naturally, open to debate...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,543 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 10/30/2007 - Published: 6/3/2007 - Draco M., Dudley D. - Complete
Buscando la felicidad by Virgrin reviews
Dos típicos adolescentes rearman su vida al conocerse... pésimo resumen, pero leánlo. YukixMachi.
Fruits Basket - Rated: K+ - Spanish - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 718 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/19/2007 - Yuki S., Machi K.
Lockhart Takes It In Hand by LovesRickman reviews
Gilderoy Lockhart shows just how much he really loves himself!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 275 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Gilderoy L. - Complete
When Methos Met Frank by idontlikegravy reviews
Pure crack, this little bunny just kept making me giggle so I had to write it. What if Methos were driving to a little town called Denton when he had a flat? And what if he needed to ask for help at the only house on the road? The chaos begins…
Crossover - Highlander & Rocky Horror - Rated: M - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,321 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/8/2007 - Methos - Complete
The DA Missions: Agent Toots by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. One-Shot. DA Mission #1: Harry and the DA decide it's time to be a little more proactive in the war on the Dark Lord. Chief Counter Intelligence Officer Lovegood initiates her first mission: Operation Death is Your Friend.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,551 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 799 - Follows: 158 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Luna L., Harry P. - Complete
Not My Son by The Mouse Avenger reviews
When Sheila DeLarge began hearing about the secret life her teenage son was leading, she didn't know what to think. After all, didn't a mother like Sheila always know her son? To be revised & reuploaded. Read & review, but no flames, please!
A Clockwork Orange - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 761 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/25/2006
Carters Bad Day by Shippuden Sakura reviews
Randomness but I think its hilarious! Im begging you! check it out! R&R!
Rush Hour - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 616 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/11/2006 - Complete
Dexters greatest work by deeeeeeeeeeeeeedeeeee reviews
Dexter tries to build a lab without DeeDee interupting.
Dexter's Laboratory - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 78 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/11/2004
Rush Hour 3: Michael Jackson in trouble! by Blood of a Red Rose reviews
Rated for cussing and insanity! Co-written by Footychic32. Chapter one: My insane brain's fault please flame me and no-one else! RRC people!
Rush Hour - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 708 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/21/2003
Identity Crisis by Ariana Deralte reviews
For Gilderoy Lockhart, there are a few bumps on the road to recovery…
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,118 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/11/2003 - Gilderoy L.
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Frankly My Dear, I Do Give A Damn reviews
A complete re-write of my first AIW fic "Unhappy Hats and Drooping Whiskers". The Hatter- Celebrity King of Ponderland- falls into a depressive slump when the rug is pulled under his feet. That rug being the not-so innocent Alice...
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,850 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/29/2009 - Mad Hatter/Hatta, March Hare/Haigha
Because I Can reviews
Bella has broken up with Edward- but why? It can't anything to do with Rosalie... can it?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,299 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/1/2009 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Bella
Delinquent reviews
Alice is no longer the little girl sitting by the riverbank- she's become something else. Cue Wonderland becomes the place for total devastation and murder. Depressing... and hilarious. FINALLY UPDATED!
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,786 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Alice
Clear As An Azure Sky of Deepest Summer reviews
I bet you missed me, your friend and humble narrator. Bet you're wondering if I'm still that badiwad malchick that caused all those people O so much pain. No- I said I'll reform, and reform I shall. Dear Bog in heaven and all that cal.
A Clockwork Orange - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,587 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/16/2009 - Published: 4/16/2009
10 things I HATE about you, YES YOU Edward Cullen reviews
This is a rant about why I loathe Edward Cullen- the whole CONCEPT of Edward Cullen- and why Jacob Black is SO MUCH BETTER. Please read my reasons before you judge- and if you feel the need to flame, do it. I need a laugh LOL.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,823 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Darcy's Dream reviews
Or rather, my dream about Darcy, and a very 'different' version of how he rejected Elizabeth at that first ball. I'll give you a clue about how weird it was: it was a musical. Please read, review, and get me some psychological help. Rated T for language.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,189 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 18 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Complete
Murder and Madness reviews
A new CRIME fic. Not exactly Alice in Wonderland, but there are some very strong and creepy references.Basically there is this serial killer that only kills girls with blond hair and blue eyes... R&R!
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Crime/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,647 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/9/2009 - Published: 2/8/2009
Unhappy Hats and Drooping Whiskers reviews
Ever since Alice left him, Hatter has been in a constant state of depression. Even happy slapping the Dormouse doesn't help. So the Match Hare decides to take everything into his own hands. XD C.10 up! It's the end! Why do I feel like crying? R&R!
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,693 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/19/2009 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Mad Hatter/Hatta, March Hare/Haigha - Complete
Joker Delight reviews
Gotham doesn't know what to do with the Joker, so they send him to Wonka's factory. Here the oompa loompa's sing a song- but with very surprising results. Batman/ Charlie and the Chocolate Factory crossover. Please R&R!
Crossover - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory & Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 311 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Joker - Complete
Let's put a smile on that face! reviews
Batman has left Gotham- and the Joker has mysteriously managed to find him. Written from the Joker's point of view, this contains slash and is not for the easily offended. However as a short story it works- I think.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,257 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/17/2009 - Joker, Bruce W./Batman