Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
STEROTYPES ARE SHIT AND POINTLESS...PUT THIS ON YOUR PAGE IF YOU AGREE
Don't you hate how your always expected to forgive and forget?
The world is going to hell and I am driving the bus
Normal people worry me
Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow
Don't take life to seriously, no one gets out alive anyways
I'm the type of person that walks into chairs and says sorry
I used up all my sick days...so i called in dead
I’ll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet.
You’re just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.
EMO kids have cool hair.
EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami
BEARS=Butt Extremely Annoying Retard Scientists
“Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.”
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes"
Why is Donkey Kong called “DONKEY” Kong if he’s a monkey?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Therapist = the/rapist... scary thought.
Don’t call me emo or I’ll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I’ll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?
I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and bitch slap someone.
The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.
If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you.
Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.
I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.
Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there ... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?
Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
“Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?”
Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?
“When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade”
Assassination is an extreme form of censorship.
The sun has set, the moon has risen, today’s the day we get out of prison!!
You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you
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