xTwilightxChickx
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Joined 12-17-08, id: 1773343, Profile Updated: 03-27-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Hey everyone! My name is Clair and I am a level 7 in gymnastics. I love it, but you won't ever see me in the olympics or anything like all of my friends think. I'm not that good! I love to read and write, and really like softball and volleyball too. My favorite type of music is country!

Natural MatchMade Disaster pics.

Chapter 4

Rosalie - http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=5950098

Alice - http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=5950139

Bella - http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=5950208

And thats all for now. My profile is very long, bewarned. Thank you and have a nice day

And now for a survey I answered XD

A TwilightSurvey

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Twilight

How long did it take you to read the books?

Twilight- 1 day

New Moon- 1 day

Eclipse- 1 day

Breaking Day A day

Who introduced you to the books?

My other awesome best frien Erika!! Woot woot XD

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

Borrowed all of them (except Breaking Dawn) at first then bought them all after

What's your dream ending to the series?

Edward and Bella's love increases and their happily married, and I wanted a big brawl with the Volturi with Bella fighting as a vampire and the Cullens all one and no one got hurt, but no that didnt happen -.- And I kinda watned Jacob to die. And Charlie -.- I guess dreams dont come true in that department XD.

Favorites:

Who is your favorite character?

Emmett

Who's your favorite vampire?

Emmett

Who is your favorite werewolf?

Seth

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

I'm so glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around. - Emmett, Eclipse

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

When Bella was trying to convince him...yea in Eclipse, and then he proposed to her. Oh and on there honeymoon! And...I LOVE IT ALL XD

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

When Bella punched him. Or when Jacob cut himself with the knife.

Or when he almost died in Eclipse. Too bad Carlisle is such a good doctor.

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

Omg...well...in New Moon when she comes back

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

When Edward ripped Victorias head off. LOL

Which book cover was your favorite?

Twilight

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

Yes every single one

Twilight or New Moon?

Twilight

New Moon or Eclipse?

Eclipse

Eclipse or Twilight?

Twilight

Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?

Midnight Sun since Breaking Dawns out

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?

hmmm. Midnight Sun since the movies now out XD

The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn?

Breaking Dawn

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

Edward! Bella is too good for the mutt

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

Edward

Bella or Jacob?

Bella

Bella or Alice?

Alice

Alice or Jacob?

Alice!

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Edward?

Edward

Carlisle or Esme?

Carlisle

Emmett or Jasper?

Emmett

Emmett or Jacob?

Emmett

Bella or Rosalie?

Bella

Esme or Charlie?

Esme

Charlie or Carlisle?

Carlisle

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie

Jacob or Sam?

Sam

Sam or Quil?

Quil

Quil or Embry?

Embry

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria

Werewolves or Vampires?

Vampires

Movie Stuff:

How did you first find out about the movie?

EVERYWHERE XD

What do you think of the casting so far?

Robert Pattinson is soooo not working for Edward.. Kristen Stewert is soooo not Bella... the only ones i like are Alice, Emmett and Jacob

Did the movie stay true to the book in your eyes?

Never

Breaking Dawn Speculation:

Are you planning on buying this book as soon as it's out?

Already did

Do you think Bella will be turned into a vampire finally?

Of course

Do you think she and Edward will get married?

PSSSHHH AW (my way of saying OF COURSE XD)

Do you think Jacob might imprint in this book?

Yea it was kinda obvious XD

Who do you think Bella will end up with : Edward or Jacob?

Edward

Do you think it will be a happy, sad, or shocking ending?

Happy!!

Who do you think will be the villain(s) of the book this time?

The Volturi

How would you feel about a possible vampire / werewolf cross?

No

Will Charlie find out Edward is a vampire?

Well he kinda did XD

Will the vampires and werewolves continue the truce they had in Eclipse?

With more exceptions XD

If anyone, who do you think will die in this book?

Irina did. but she wasn't important. jacob should have died.

For a twist: what would you think if Edward was somehow turned human?

That'd be horrible

Do you think Jacob will be over Bella by the end of the book?

Nope!

What do you most want to happen in Breaking Dawn?

Bella=Vampire!!

That concludes the survey I copy+pasted

If you have ever dreamed or wished that a book character was real (Edward!) copy and paste this in your profile.

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the Twilight characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile

If you've ever spazzed out when you've seen a silver Volvo S60, because it reminds you of Edward Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight it isn't even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you think Aro acts like a creepy camp counciler, copy and paste this into your profile.

Quotes from the Twilight series

Fall down again, Bella?" "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face." Emmett blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter. - Eclipse (Emmett/Bella)

"Are you still faint from the run, or was it my kissing expertise?" - Twilight (Edward)

"It's an off day when somebody doesn't tell me how edible I smell." - Twilight (Bella)

"Stupid, shiny Volvo owner." - Twilight (Bella)

"Do I dazzle you?" "Frequently." - Twilight (Edward/Bella)

"Your father told me never to come through his door again... but technically I came in through the window." - New Moon (Edward)

"How strongly are you opposed to Grand Theft Auto?" - New Moon (Alice)

"Would it be childish to hide in your closest?" - New Moon (Edward)

"It's only within the finer tunings of a good Italian sports car that you're out of your depth. And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche" - Eclipse (Alice)

"Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..." Twilight (Edward)

His eyes narrowed slightly. "But I am a werewolf," he said unwillingly. "And he is a vampire," he added with obvious revulsion. And I’m a Virgo!" I shouted with exasperation. - Eclipse (Jacob/Bella)

"Of all the things about me that frighten you, you worry about my driving." - Twilight (Edward)

"Nothing (is) more fun than an irritated grizzly bear." Twilight (Bella)

"What am I going to do with you?" he groaned in exasperation. "Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!" - Twilight (Edward)

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. 10 for me
2) You own all above mentioned books.
3) You know that most of your friends will try to bag on Twilight the Movie, but then you'll get defensive and start yelling at them for saying that all the actors/actresses are all wrong and that they will ruin the movie when the actors/actresses don't match their exact mental picture of said character. (LISTEN PEOPLE!! No one will look exactly like your mental image of the Twilight characters, so get over it and quit bagging on the actors/actresses who will do a great job on this movie whether you think so or not!! Please excuse my rant but it needed to be said)
4)
You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.
5) You have reread a lot of these pages.
6)You read fanfiction about Twilight.
7)You write fanfiction about Twilight.
8)At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says something about Twilight or its characters.
9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.
10)For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon/Ecilpse, you acted as a missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read them.
11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".
12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.
13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.
14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk about.
15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2008 for Breaking Dawn to come out, you almost cried.
16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you like best. (I'm debating between Edward and Jasper. Edward is slightly in the lead though ;D)
17)
You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.
18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories, you never get tired of it.
19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing you read.
20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a vampire.
21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.
22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.
23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people who don't understand it just haven't read the book.
24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.
26) You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information
27) You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns and the fact that you won't sop trying to explain to them why Twilight is the best book in the world
28) You're keeping track of all the "Breaking Dawn Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean
29) Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website
30) Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series
31) Your screen saver says something about the Twilight Saga
32) You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition
33) You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it
34) You can't believe that most people haven't read the books
35) You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them
36) You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines
37) You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die
38) You know you're addicted, but you don't care
39)You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2nd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco
40) You're more excited about the release of Breaking Dawn than anything to do with Harry Potter
41)When you found out that you would have to wait to see the Breaking Dawn cover art and first chapter until you got back from a trip where you couldn't even get near a book store when both items came out the day ater you left, you have a mental breakdown
42) When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown
43) You noticed there is no number 25

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!

"I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head - if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs." - Edward Cullen - Eclipse

"Marry me first." "Okay. What's the punch line?" "Bella, you're wounding my ego. I just proposed to you and you think it's a joke." - New Moon

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" or "Dang, we screwed up."
A friend will always be like "well you deserve better". A best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days

If you are frequently told to be quiet/shut the hell up, copy and paste this into your profile

If you constantly have 'I love Edward Cullen' rants, copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish you were Bella Swan, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have gotten more than three of your friends addicted to Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you slap anyone who tells you that Edward Cullen is not real, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have an incredibly long profile that no one will read, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are proud of your own stupidity, copy and paste this into your profile

If you spend at least three hours a week reading/writing fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination

If you are extremely obsessed with british boys, and their accents, copy this to your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

Admitting you are weird is normal. Admitting you are normal is odd. Different is odd and different is not good. If you are weird and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you think it would be hilarious to see Bella beat Emmett in an arm wrestling match, put this in your profile.

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile. cough Jacob cough

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jasper or Edward. Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Edward with your friends. Crazy is when one of your friends come up to you and says "He is so completely gorgeous!" and you know exactly who their talking about because your brain is no longer set on English, but Twilight. Crazy is when all your friends are scared of you because you are so hyper. Crazy is when you threaten your friends with a free trip to Italy and a vampire mafia if they don't read Twilight. Crazy is when your friend calls you crazy, you tear up a little and tell them that was the nicest thing they ever said to you. Crazy is when you start screaming in the middle of a movie(TWILIGHT!!) "It didn't happen like that!!" If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FrevrnvrLasts, The Dawn Is Breaking, I-tAUght-BeLLa-THosE-tRICks95, reader13lovesbooks, xtwilightxchickx

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you dont know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are wierd and proud of it, then copy and paste this to your profile!

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers have do or has tried smoking pot. If you are part of the 2 percent who hasn', copy this to your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is the cutest boy on the planet copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you are absolutly in love with Stephanie Meyers Fictional Character Emmett, Copy and Paste this into your Profile.

If you are a member of the unofficial Emmett McCarty Cullen Fangirl Club, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with one or all of the Cullens (coughEmmettcough), but you don't really care because even though admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly, you don't wanna heal.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy & paste this into your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have no willpower post this onto your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the Cullens should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile

you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profileok the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you complian that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you thought Breaking Dawn was completly AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you think Edward is perfect for Bella, paste this onto your profile

If you hate Mike and you're not afraid to say it, paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica can be annoying paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica and Mike belong together because they're both annoying and stupid, paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile


now for semoehtnig itnresitng...

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

Funny Quotes:

Forget Santa, I want Edward Cullen to come down MY chimney!

When life gives me lemons I throw them back and demand Edward.

The only reason Edward ran from Bella in the meadow was because I was on the other side

I called my boyfriend Edward and now he thinks im cheating on him...OOPS

My girfriend read twilight and now she calls me edward and throws glitter on me

Edward Cullen: making real guys feel pathetic

Edward Cullen Vs. Jacob Black is like Sparkles vs. Fleas Take your pick

You're not jealous of Bella Sawn?...Liar

0.2 Seconds = how long it took for me to fall for Edward Cullen

"Thanks, Stephenie. Now I'll never find a man."

Everytime I hear thunder I wonder if vampires are playing baseball

Forget a knight in shining armor, I want a vampire in a shiny Volvo

"I can't stay mad at Jasper. No really."

Bella Swan does not appreciate your fantasies about her husband

I cut pages 73-381 out of New Moon. Jacob can go die.

I threw New moon at the wall when Edward left

Katie Peary wrote Hot'n Cold while sitting between Edward ans Jacob, guess who was the out?

Screw Dr.Phil, Jasper never needs to say, "how do you feel about that"

Good guys read Twilight, and take notes.

"Alice will you take me shopping for fancy french lingrie like the ones you bought Bella?"


the 11th comandment: Thou shalt love Edward Cullen unto thy death.

Dear Bella, I'll marry Edward for you so you can have Jacob.

Cullenism...my new religion.

Edward Cullen makes abstinence sexy.

Dear Jacob, I win. Sincerely, Edward

I typed in "sexy" in Google and it came up "Did you mean Edward Cullen?"

Future boyfriend checklist: Golden eyes, super strength, silver Volvo, reddish-brown hair.


I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VIRGIN,so I MUST be a prude.

I'm BI,so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER,so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I WEAR BLACK,so I MUST be gothic.

I'm YOUNG,so I MUST be naive.

I'm SOUTHERN,so I MUST be white trash.

I SPEAK MY MIND,so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm WICCAN,so I MUST be a devil-worshiping baby killer.

I'm a GOOD LIAR,so I MUST be an actor/actress.

I'm a BLACK BELT,so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass.

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT,so I MUST be a lesbain.

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF,so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.

I'm FRENCH,so I MUST be homosexual.

I'm a BOHEMIAN,so I MUST be a lazy drug addict.

I LOVE ANIMALS,so I MUST be a vegetarian.

I'm a TREEHUGGER,so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie.

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX,so I MUST be on drugs.

I'm a MUSICIAN,so I must not be doing anything with my life.

I'm GAY,so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm ASIAN,so I MUST love math.

I'm BLACK,so I MUST be on welfare.

I'm a PUNK,so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm ARAB,so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm IRISH,so I MUST be an alcoholic.

I'm BLOND,so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I'm a CHEERLEADER,so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a JEW,so I MUST be greedy.

Don't you just hate stereotypes? Copy and paste and bold anything about you.

Very Sad Poems That Will Change the World (hopefully)

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, it shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, but Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; that I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; that it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; that she is the only one now,And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her nowAnd tell my wonderful friends; that they always were the bestMommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the restMommy, tell my teachers; I won't how up for class, And never to forget this, and please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, on that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, the time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech, Students Who Were Lost

My name is Tiffany. I am three, My eyes are swollen, I cannot see. I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made my daddy so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong, I can’t speak at all Or else I'm locked up all day long. When I'm awake I'm all alone, the house is dark My folks aren’t home. When my mommy does come home, I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get one whipping tonight. I just heard a car; my daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse, my name is called I press myself against the wall I try to hide from his evil eyes I’m so afraid now, I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping, calls me ugly words, He says its my fault he suffers at work. He slaps and hits me and yells at me more, I finally get free, and run to the door He’s already locked it and I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me against the hard wall I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream, but its now much to late His face has been twisted into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please, let it end! And he finally stops, and heads for the door While I lay there motionless, brawled on the floor My name is Tiffany. I am three. Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.

And you can help. It sickens me top the soul, if you read this and don’t pass it on, I pray for your forgiveness, because you would have to be one heartless person to not be effected by this poem. And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all I ask you to do, is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, on with it!

Month One

Mommy, I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy, I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy, my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again, and I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy, I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that will never beat.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Solstice by AspiringWriter91 reviews
What I imagine the 5th book fanfic style. Begins a few months after BD ended. Past not altered. Not OOC. In cannon. In Bella's POV w/Jake's occasionally. Original plot, not done before! Complete with epilogue. Please Read and Review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 40 - Words: 99,830 - Reviews: 735 - Favs: 376 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 5/17/2011 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Bella - Complete
Twilight Awakening by igo3cho reviews
What happens when the Cullens move back to Forks? Will it be like any other town, or will it be different? It is, after all, the place that so many things worked to change their lives. Story of the Cullen family approx. 70 years after Bella is changed.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 38,564 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 9/8/2010 - Published: 1/14/2009
Forks Again by l'ordinateur de terre reviews
After many years, the Cullen's return to Forks, to face high school--again. People hitting on the Cullens, Emmett's pranks, school dances, and any other thing that could happen in high school. POST BREAKING DAWN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,277 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 12/27/2008
Twilight Commercials: The Series by pandorasnotebook reviews
Popular commercials written TWILIGHT STYLE! What more can I say...R&R
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,527 - Reviews: 560 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 5/25/2008
Recognition by TayBee reviews
When Edward and Bella run into an old friend, things quickly become complicated. Can Bella keep her friend safe from the big bad secret? Can she keep her safe from something even more threatening? POST BD. I'm NOT SM.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 29,716 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Bella, Angela - Complete
It Ended in Silence It Started with Screaming by Clearly Alice reviews
Edward leaves and 10 years later runs into Bella - he got what he wanted, she doesn't remember him - but she's changed - she's not the Bella he left. Can they rekindle their broken hearts? Will Bella ever remember? All Characters you love! READ IT
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 65,088 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 1/13/2009 - Bella
High School for the Cullens by reader13lovesbooks reviews
It is a new town for the Cullens. What could possibly be horrible about six vampires stuck in a building full of hormonal teenagers and perverted staff? How about a vampire in a hospital with desperate nurses? Esme's here. Renesmee and Jacob on honeymoon
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 55,037 - Reviews: 1147 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 5/5/2009 - Published: 11/16/2008
Let the mocking begin ! by Jasper.Hale.Says.Relax reviews
Alice gets the Cullens and Bella to switch names for a week! Normal Pairings. Rated T for no real reason except that I am insane.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,742 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 2/16/2009 - Published: 12/27/2008
Three Mothers by Lid C reviews
What would happen if... Bella wasn't the only who could bear children, but Rosalie and Alice as well. Explanation how its possible is included. First Fanfic. REVIEW. easy read.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 26 - Words: 24,671 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 2/7/2009 - Published: 12/27/2008
Hot by BerryBella reviews
I wanted to scream for help, but the smoke was too much, every time I tried to breathe in, I coughed. Where was Edward?" There's a fire at Forks High school! Will Edward be there to save Bella?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,878 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/23/2009 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Complete
Out of the Shadows, Into the Light by reader13lovesbooks reviews
A new vampire is in town, but she's different than others of her kind - whether that's good or bad is unknown. She is taken in by the Cullens, but things start getting out of hand...Canon Pairings, OC/OC, from the author of High School for the Cullens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,325 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/17/2009 - Published: 1/1/2009
Stalker by BerryBella reviews
A new substitue teacher has her eyes on Edward, and everything goes down hill from there... Pure randomness.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,427 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/15/2009 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Bella
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Natural MatchMade Disaster reviews
Edward Cullen, Emmett McCarty, Jasper Whitlock, Rosalie Hale, Bella Swan, and Alice Brandon all try an online dating service. What happens when they all get paired up with the wrong people? Funny! ALL HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,880 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Complete
Christmas with the Cullens reviews
Bella spends a crazy Christmas at the Cullen house. Harrassment from Emmett, fun times with shopping addict Alice, parties, presents, and more fun stuff.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,632 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/16/2009 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete