Author has written 3 stories for Doctor Who, and Lord of the Rings.
The following text which is commonly known as a profile page may contain: shameless self-promotion, bashing, Monty Python, true love and Purple. If any of the former are disturbing in any way, it is advised not to read this profile. Thank you for your time. No, you can't have it back.
Appearance: Very tall, brunette and should never ever wear heels but does anyway.
Interests and Hobbies: Reading, singing and acting are my main passions. I could go on forever but to minimise boredom, I won't.
Movies and Shows: Star Wars, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Strictly Ballroom, Star Trek 2009, Robin Hood, Torchwood, Roman Holiday, Indiana Jones, The Addams Family, Narnia, Monty Python stuff, Pirates of the Caribbean, Torchwood, the Vicar of Dibley and of course, the Lord of the Rings.
Books: Oh god where do I start?! Ok so J.K. Rowling and Professor Tolkien's writings are the most incredible tales I have ever read, but I also love Tamora Pierce and David Eddings. Phillip Pullman, Christopher Paolini, Catherine Jinks, Rick Riordan, Jean Plaidy, Robert Muchamore etc etc etc. There are so many books that I have read and love that if I listed them we would be here 'til 2200!
Robin/Marian (none of this Robin/Kate crap. I hate Kate and I hate that they killed Marian off. No offence intended.)
My Stories on (and to be published on) FanFiction.net
(this is the shameless self-promotion bit)
1. Out of Place, Out of Time (Lord of the Rings - Complete)
Typical crack-fic that laughs at Mary Sues and the authors who write them. Yes I am laughing at myself.
You should read just for the ending.
2. The Very Secret Daybooke of Amariel Eruwaedhiel (Lord of the Rings - Complete)
Short diary loosely modeled on the style of the Pillow Book. I wrote the poem at the end myself.
3. Teddy Bear Teddy Bear (Doctor Who - Complete)
My best piece so far I think. A short one-shot that warms your heart. Very fluffy.
Stories That Don't Have Enough Love (and they should, cos they are awesome):
1. Revenge: Best Served with Eggs and Lemon - LilyRose XD
2. The Companionable Tales - October Project
3. The Tale of a Time Lady - Azure Falls
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm EMO so I MUST slit my wrists.
I'm BLONDE so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND so I MUST be a bitch
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER so I WILL go to hell
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. (Yeah...what do these mean?)
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS so I MUST be crazy
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH so I MUST have a bad drinking problem
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, (well almost) so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must ONLY wear black and date other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP so I MUST be anti-social
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers so I MUST smoke and drink too
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read comics so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear kilts/only tartan
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I like BLOOD so I MUST be a VAMPIRE
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I am a WITCH so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick
I love YAOI so I must be GAY
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'M AUSTRALIAN SO I MUST HUNT CROCODILES AND TALK TO KANGAROOS
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist or a pyromaniac.
I LOVE Doctor Who so I MUST think Matt Smith will be a shit Doctor
I HATE Drarry so I MUST hate Gays.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
xoxo Sara ;)
Just a quick Note before you read my stories: I am not a funny person. I cannot come up with appropriate spur-of-the-moment jokes or witty disclaimers. I am not a particularly creative person. I often take ideas from other people and use way too many cliches. I am the occasional Suethor (but my friends are doing their very best to beat that out of me, thank Jojo). I am not particularly stubborn with my writing and often leave you hanging, a story forever on hiatus. But this is going to change. I am going to try and write uncliched, interesting, original (well, as original as a fan fic can be) stories which I complete, fully edited before posting. My readers (however few there may be) deserve better. So this is what I am going to endeavour to do. It will take a while and you won't be seeing any new material from me for a while, as I am mainly writing non-fanficcy stuff right now (see MagicVampireTimeLady42 on Fictionpress.net for that stuff). But I think it will be worth it. My writing, creativity, unclicheness (is that a word?) will improve over time. Just as soon as I start writing. Ready...