Author has written 6 stories for Twilight, Warcraft, Harry Potter, X-overs, and Lord of the Flies.
Hi this is Jessi or Jessica. I go by both, so just pick your favorite :D
I love music and reading some of my favorite books are...
Interview with the Vampire,
I totally love World of Warcraft, my friend got me addicted. Yep- I'm a total geek :P
I hope you enjoy my stories, but they probably arent very good.
Love and Hugs, Jessica/Jessi
haha random cool stuff to add/geeky stuff i love!!
BILLY CONNELLY'S 'THIRTEEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT PEOPLE'
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time ... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid ten quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, knob-head?
10. People who say things like "my eyes aren't what they used to be". So what did they used to be? Ears? Asparagus? Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks "Is that nice?" No it's fucking revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering ... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes, you fucking McTosser.
THINGS I CANNOT DO AT HOGWARTS-MY FAVES
150. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points. (In case ya’ll didn’t know this is a dance that involves the pelvic thrust. Nuff said.)
147. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout “I have the power!”
146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce
145. It is not necessary to yell “Burn!” every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
143. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
139. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
133. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
130. It is not necessary for me to yell “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.
128. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.
126. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug a Slytherin Day.
125. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.
124. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! Shirt to school.
122. “Draco Malfoy Takes it Up The Arse” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant…
120. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.
116. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling. (MY FAVORITE!!)
115. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps. (but how cool would that be??)
105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
104. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.
101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
99. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
98. “OMGWTF” is not a spell.
96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.
95. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
94. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus. (tee hee)
92. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.
84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
82. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
79. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.
74. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
68. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
62. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.
59. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
36. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazghul is coincidental.
25. Tricking the school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine even if I yell “Pwned!”
17. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
14. I will not start every potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class
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