Sev Snape's Girl
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Joined 12-21-08, id: 1776939, Profile Updated: 11-09-09
Author has written 3 stories for Lurlene McDaniel, and Harry Potter.

i want to tell everyone that...wat was i going 2 say? shit. thats not wat i was gonna say!!

ONE FOR THE GIRLS!

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Girl: Sorry, there are no services today.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Girl: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

My Favorite Insults (use at your own risk)

Everyone is entitled to being stupid, but you just abuse the privilege.

I would say "screw you" but I think to many people already did.

I am really trying to imagine you with a personality. Oops, I can't.

Not the brightest crayon in the box, now, are we?

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Your a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal.

You just won't leave me alone, will you? You know, people like you are the reason why people like me need medication.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

You were born a loser

And I was made to RULE!!

List 5 reasons why I shouldn't talk to you. And then read them over and over.

If stupidity was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Some Stuff I Thought Was Funny:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

When I was 3, my parents told me to avoid violence and wars. Now I'm 13, my teacher taught me about the Civil War and when I failed my test on it, they told me to study more about the killing and wars.

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

25 REASONS TO APPRECIATE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

RANDOM THINGS TO PONDER

Come to the dark side . . . WE HAVE COOKIES!

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Perfection is a waste of time.

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns. But those bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again...

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science: ‘Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts: ‘Do you want fries with that?

If two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, I'm not sure about the universe.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I blame my attitude on videogames.

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again.

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face.

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs. ninjas, but cooler.

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over. -I always say stuff like this to my friend just to annoy her. She ABSOLUTELY hates the fact that I don't have a religion.-

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human’s way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can I miss you if you never left?

I'm not with stupid anymore!

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, useful but they'll cut you eventually.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't. Weird…

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

For the first half of our childhood parent encourage us to walk and talk, but for the second they just tell us to sit down and shut up.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind,

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up. (and that's being generous)

I live in a world of Rainbows, hearts, bunnies and Unicorns. The rainbow is only in shades of grey and black, The hearts are broken and bleeding, the bunnies are acting all emo again, and the unicorn are cutting them selves with their horns... All in all it's my perfect life =D

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

I'm the kind of who will burst our laughing in the middle of a silence because of something that happened...yesterday.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

A friend will help you move a body, a BEST friend will help you move the dead body of your ex boyfriend to a ditch on the side of the freeway!

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Live a little. Because you can't be old and wise if you were never young and crazy.

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Love your enemies! It really pisses them off

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.

The statistics on insanity are that 1of every 4 people has some kind of mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if their okay, then it's you.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass.

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

When all else fails blow shit up.

I believe die bitch conveys my feelings properly

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Your village called, they're missing they're idiot.

I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces

Love is the fire of life; it either consumes or purifies

There are no such things as strangers, only friends that we have not yet met

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you

Don't waste your youth growing up

Don't waste your youth growing up

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It Goes On

Eat, drink, and be merry. For tomorrow we die.

Everybody laughs in the same language.

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

Some people have a large circle of friends, while others have only friends that they like.

Everyone makes mistakes. It is what you do afterwards that counts.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream.

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory...

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the

best in you.

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"

"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Straight is something crooked that was bent.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager grls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong..

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

a poem dedicated to edward cullen from the book series twilight by stephenie meyer.

I Want A Guyy...

i want a guyy that sparkles in the sun

i want a guyy that been prettyy much single since 1901

i want a guyy that doesn't sleep at night

i want a guyy that will hold me tight

i want a guyy with topaz eyyes

i want a guyy who speaks no lies

i want a guyy that will onlyy be mine

i want a guyy that is hard as a rock

i want a guyy who has lived every hour of the clock

i want a guyy who's smile dazzles and shocks

i want EDWARD CULLEN!!

thank u 2 singergirl1901!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boyys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because theyy
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, theyy just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easyy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
realityy, theyy're amazing. Theyy just
have to wait for the right boyy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the wayy
to the top
of the tree.

luv everyone hu has reviewed

Mommy..Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"...Copy and Paste this if you almost cried reading it!

96 percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile.

Some nifty and true little facts

-John Lennon said, "Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple. Today we (the Beatles) are more famous than him." He was shot 6 times.

-Tancredo Neves said that if he got 500,000 votes for the presidential office of Brazil, not even God himself could remove him from office. He died the day before he was inaugurated.

-Billy Graham visited Marilyn Monroe and told her that God had sent him to preach to her. She said, "I don't need your Jesus." She was found dead a week later.

-In Brazil, a group of drunk friends were going out for a drive. One of the girls' mother said to her, "My daughter, go with God and may He protect you." The girl replied, "Only if He rides in the trunk, 'cause inside here, it's already full." A few hours later, the car was in an accident that killed everyone. The car was crushed, save the trunk, which, investigators say, should have been smashed. Inside was a crate of eggs, not one of them hurt.

-Christine Hewitt said that the Bible was the worst book ever written. She was later found burnt in her vehicle beyond recognition.

A poem about Child Abuse

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be affected

By this Poem

And because you are affected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon, Copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If you think that Twilight is the best book know to woman... (And man!) Copy/paste this into your profile.

If, when you have a boy, you'll seriously consider naming him Edward...copy/paste this into your profile

If, when you have a girl, you'll seriously consider naming her Isabella...copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile

If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile.

If whenever you see a silver Volvo and you start to scream "Edward", copy and paste this in your profile

If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are Team Edward, copy and paste this in your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever not known where you were when there was a sign right next to you, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turky-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that her life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!

If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If one of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.

If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile.

If you like Subway, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you've read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse over four times, copy this onto your profile

If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile

If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this onto your profile

If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager grls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.

If you think Edward Cullen is the cutest boy on the planet copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you call everyone in the phone book that has the last name Cullen. Crazy is when you honestly belive Edward exists. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you Jack-ass"

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Thanks 2 Team-Edward3849 4 a bunch of this stuff.

HOMOPHOBIA IS STUPID!!

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl kicked out of her home, because I confided in my mother I'm a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets, because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself weeks before graduating high school.
It was just too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us because she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not even allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to trach gym until somebody told me only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't always have to deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to the fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson".

IF YOU BELIEVE HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG...REPOST THIS.

If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever had an unhealthy obsession with any -or all- of the Cullens and you don't want to admit it even though you know admitting a problem is the first step to solving it but frankly you dont want the problem to be solved, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever walked into a pole, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever fallen forewards off of a chair, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever asked a question with an obvious answer, copy this onto your profile

If you've read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse over four times, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever fallen backwards off of a chair, copy this onto your profile

If you haven't "died" but want to, copy this onto your profile

If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile

If you live in a rainy place, copy this onto your profile

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it

Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
(don't cheat--)
THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
soul mate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now ever your parents are afraid of you because of the results, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tried to block your thoughts about how gorgeous Edward Anthony Mason Cullen is from said gorgeous Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, copy this onto your profile

If you have Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse memorized, copy this onto your profile

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have gotten hit by a basketball, soccer ball, baseball, or volleyball, more than 5 times, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten hit by a car... that was parked, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile..

If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it, post on profile.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when your evil, malicious best friend/cousin comes to visit for two weeks from across the country and gets you completely and utterly obsessed and addicted to a totally awesome book about vampires that you never thought you would like! Crazy is when on career day I said I was going to move to move to Greece the day I graduate and live on a beach writing stories on the back of paper bags and my best friend asked if she could come too. Crazy is when you dream about strangling the Coco Puffs bird and you wake up to find your dog huddling in a corner with a rope around its neck.(thats me).If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

Emmett Cullen- Stronger than you since

1916

Jasper Hale- Charminger than you since

1843

Rosalie Hale- Better than you since

1916

Alice Cullen- Quirkier than you since

Edward Cullen- Hotter than you since

FOREVER!

Boys are like slinkies. Useless, but still VERY fun to watch fall down stairs.

Whoever said "Nothing is impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

When i found out Robert Pattinson was playing Edward Cullen I literally ran into a wall, he is just perfect. i do not care what anyone says. so back OFF.

believe it or not but i look exactly how Stephenie describes Bella, except blue eyes!

i'm in love with the twilight series by Stephenie Meyer.

i just want to point out how happy i am that Edward Cullen prefers brunettes

i love Twilight..and vampires.

without twilight my life would be a dark hole of despair!

twilight is my drug and my anti-drug.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

JUST SOME STUFF

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916

Rosalie Cullen: Better Than You Since 1916

Alice Cullen: Quikier Than You Since 1901

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

XX

TEAM ROSALIE: because deep down we all think she's awesome.

TEAM JASPER: because he can snap at me anytime.

TEAM ESME: because she's the coolest mother ever.

TEAM EMMETT: because we all love a guy with muscles.

TEAM EDWARD: because we wish all guys were this perfect.

TEAM CARLISLE: because all doctors should be this hot.

TEAM BELLA: because she's Edward's girl.

TEAM ALICE: because seeing things before they happen rocks.

LES is Love Edward Syndrome

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

MECBIAV-Make Edward Change Bella Into A Vampire Club

BIT is Bella In Training

RAP is Retards Attempting Poetry

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, vampirechick123,ilheartedwardcullen

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride),TwilightNatalia(I had a crush on Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist for like 3 days then I got over it, if that counts), vampirechick123 (Edwrad cullen...even though he is real),ilheartedwardcullen(its in the penname)

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, Mysterious Miracle, Frostpaw, Crazy Rayne, Alicegirl, Zandylion, Nightmare and Dream, vampirechick123,ilheartedwardcullen

If you are against Animal Abuse add your name to the list and add it to your profile or site. RogueWarrior869,BlackWolfHowling, Bubble Blower, roughdiamond5, Green.Winged.Mistress, Bellaness, -Aikio-Hatate-, ForeverIndebted, Vampirechick123,ilheartedwardcullen

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a concieted snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST be a lesbian
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST eat spaghetti and meatballs everyday
I'm an OUTCAST, so I MUST be a jealous loser
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be frigid

I'm SHY, so I MUST NOT have any friends

I have a lot of GUY friends so I MUST be dating them all

~STOP STSEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD ANY MORE STEREOTYPES YOU'VE HEARD.

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

there were 3girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die.

A True Boyfriend:When she walks away from you mad
Follow her When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong When she ignore's you
Give her your attention When she pull's away
Pull her back When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared
Protect her When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a nightWhen she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does When she misses you
she's hurting inside When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

I want a guy like this more than anyone will ever know...

Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)

1. Only in
America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in
America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put
our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a
call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages
of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'

.
10. Only in America...do they have
drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Daddy's Poem:

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently,

Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?"

She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me storys, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to sahre fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrent, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

The Uncurable Disease

Hi, my name is Kazu.

I like Writing and I like Athletics.

I am running down the road

I suddenly tripped over.

I come home with a scatch on my knee.

My mummy begins to worry.

I tell her I am fine.

She sighs and says ok.

I am at school.

When suddenly I fall and hit a tree.

I am sent to the sickbay.

Then I am sent home.

Mummy takes me to the doctors.

The doctors tell mummy something.

Mummy starts to cry.

I tell her it's ok.

I'm not going to die.

She tells me I am starting.

Starting to be slower.

I don't know what it means.

But I have become sick.

I tell mummy it's ok.

I will become better.

Mummy starts to cry.

Do I have cancer?

Mummy says no.

Then what do I suppose.

As a year had past.

I struggle to walk.

My speech is getting slower.

It's hard for me to talk.

My friends like to help me.

My classmates like to run.

But I have to sit down.

And watch them have fun.

Then one day my teacher.

Comes to see mummy.

Daddy comes out.

And starts to get all snotty.

The teacher tells my parents.

I can no longer go to school.

My motion is too slow.

I ask the teacher slowly.

I am sorry I am useless.

I start to cry and beg her.

I want to go to school.

The teacher gives a smile.

And tells me she is sorry.

The school cant really help me.

The words were so cruel.

The day I had to leave.

My friends and classmates cried.

The boys upon the windows.

Wave to me goodbye.

I smile and sit in the car.

I am taken to a school.

A school with special people.

Just like me and you.

I start to have some fun.

I made a lot of friends.

As many years passed again.

I talk too slow to understand.

I cannot run anymore.

And I struggle to even stand.

I cannot write in my diary.

My motion is too slow.

Then one day I am sent.

To the hospital again.

Now many years have passed.

I lie in a warm bed.

I cannot move my body.

I cannot move again.

I talk very slowly.

I cannot move my head.

My mummy sits there crying.

My daddy looks depressed.

I ask my mummy sadly.

Am I going to die.

My mother holds my hand.

Yells and starts to cry.

A few more years later.

I have to shut my eyes.

I cannot talk or move.

I seem to have died.

Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their
various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned,
and
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only
a
few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees,
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm
and
danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short
cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed
a
man standing at the end as though he
were
waiting
for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking
for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and
security wrapped round her, she felt as
though
someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she
walked right past the man and arrived
home
safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper
that
a young girl had been raped in the same
alley
just
twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the
fact
that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help
this
young woman, she decided to go to the
police
station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she
told
them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to
look
at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the
man
she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified,
he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and
asked if there was anything they could do
for
her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked
her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She
had
two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers
will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe
in
God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will
stand up for you.
I bet 93 percent of you people that read this won't repost

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. (I kinda am though)
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be screwing them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude (If you could only hear the thoughts in my head!!)
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA (wtf)
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
Ilove YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. (Your weird seeing how I'm a girl)
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems (Well. . . I really do.)

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

GWEN - Going With Edward Now
LWEN - Leaving With Edward Now
OME - Oh My Edward
WTE - What The Edward
OCD - Obsessive Cullen Disorder
OED - Obsessive Edward Disorder
LMAOWE - Laugh My Ass Off With Edward
ROFLWE - Rolling On Floor Laughing With Edward
ROFLOTOE - Rolling On Floor Laughing On Top Of Edward
EIMH - Edward Is My Homeboy
LAE - Laughing At Edward
LWE - Laughing With Edward
HME - Hug My Edward
WWED - What would Edward Do
UTA - Unnatural Twilight Addiction
AACIBD - Addicted to All Cullens Including Bella Disorder
IFLE - I Fricken Love Edward
EIM - Edward Is Mine (BIE - Bella Is Mine Jacob needs to learn this one)
OMJ - Oh My Jacob
WEBBS - With Edward, Be Back Soon
BBWE - Be Back With Edward
ILWE - In Love With Edward
AWE - Away With Edward
(For the guys...) AWB - Away With Bella
STFUUYE - Shut The Freak Up Unless You're Edward

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" or "Dang, we screwed up."
A friend will always be like "well you deserve better". A best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days".

You are one sick person if you dont repost this i feel for you if
this dosent touch you because this is just wrong. read this. its disgusting

Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends

"Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
Their breathe spirts weep
"Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps

His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
They look at one another; nod; something planned

I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
"Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
But there grip is to strong for weak me
I look at both; and ask, who are these men?

His fingers going up me; pulling away
His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"

No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
I try and scamper away, but im not fast
"O Daddy please, i love you"

His friend; pulling at my nightie
And my Dad pulling my pants down
His friend pinning my hands to the floor
As my Dad lies himself on the ground

I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
And places me ontop of Daddy; thrusts within
I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
"O Daddy please you win you win!"

I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
I can feel the blood seep down my leg
"Daddy your hurting me please"
I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg

Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
Tieing my hands togather; moving in and out
"Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans

They smile at one another; laugh to
They roll me over and spread me wide wel
My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
While his friend talks and pushes himself inside

I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
I cough and splutter; cry and weep
I beg and plead; but its no use
Theyve already made me hurt and bleed

I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
This is not my Dad; where is he?
If he was still here; would he care
Would he actually even; see?

Finally they get of and lie me on the sofa
My cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
They play with them selfs; all over me
Rub it in; making me feel the shame

"Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
"Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
"Is that all you have in your heart to say?"

He puts my nightie on me
I walks me to my bedroom door
Ever since that night; His friend
And himself every Friday come back for more

"Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
Closing the door, tears still down my face
Still the smell of him and his friend
Fade into me like disgrace

I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
"Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
I cant help but cry; weep in pain
Because im so scared he wanted more

But one night daddy took it too far
Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
They were worried they would get caught
So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot

I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
"Daddy please! Not tonight!"
Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
After that i tried to put up a fight

I begged daddy "Please no more!"
All he could say "Shut up you stupid whore!"
Daddy unblindfolded me at last
He said I love you so much

He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
"Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!"
I was dead
After only one swing...

Please if you care for all the children and women who have been raped
repost this bulletin with the Headline "A Rape Story"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him, brings him to you and forces him to marry you til death do you part.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't
waste!"

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

If you think that describes Edward Cullen, copy it into your profile.

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile. ( I lost count after fifty...)

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot

It's a matter of life after deth-now that he's ded, I have a life

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up. (and that's being generous)

I live in a world of Rainbows, hearts, bunnies and Unicorns. The rainbow is only in shades of grey and black, The hearts are broken and bleeding, the bunnies are acting all emo again, and the unicorn are cutting them selves with their horns... All in all it's my perfect life =D

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

I'm the kind of who will burst our laughing in the middle of a silence because of something that happened...yesterday.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

A friend will help you move a body, a BEST friend will help you move the ded body of your ex boyfriend to a ditch on the side of the freeway!

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Live a little. Because you can't be old and wise if you were never young and crazy.

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing.

Somebody is a bit cranky today... Have you had your daily dose of Edward yet??

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book. (teehehe)

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it.

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (I did that. Oops.)

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (like, um, magic powers, or taking a Fangish vow of silence, or trying to break Nudge's talking record)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class (e.g. flip a desk over then fly out the window, turn into a wolf and maul someone, turn invisible and 'haunt' the school then laugh as the FBI freaks out, light your book on fire and cackle demonically...)

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.

You've got a book memorized.

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days.

You've planned and perepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (e.g. Too bad Edward Cullen is fictional)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.

You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock.

You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human.

You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf.

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character

Your idol is a character from a book

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Twilight, because that's where it started off for the Cullens and Bella

How long did it take you to read the books?

One week. All four books.

Who introduced you to the books?

I introduced myself

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

Given the three that I have.

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?

I liked the movie, loved Breaking Dawn, and can't wait for tMidnight Sun!

Who is your favorite character?

Edward

Who's your favorite vampire?

Edward

Who is your favorite werewolf?

Jacob

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

"Fall down again, Bella?

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

When they first go to the meadow

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

Umm, I don't know really.

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

All of them

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

When James dies and Victoria dies

Which book cover was your favorite?

Breaking Dawn

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

OMG, definitely yes!

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?

Twilight

New Moon or Eclipse?

Eclipse

Eclipse or Twilight?

Twilight

Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?

Midnight Sun

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?

Midnight Sun

The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn?

Breaking Dawn

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

Edward

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

Edward

Bella or Jacob?

Bella

Bella or Alice?

Bella

Alice or Jacob?

Alice

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Edward?

Edward

Carlisle or Esme?

Carlisle

Emmett or Jasper?

Emmett

Emmett or Jacob?

Jacob

Bella or Rosalie?

Bella

Esme or Charlie?

Esme

Charlie or Carlisle?

Carlisle

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie

Jacob or Sam?

Jacob

Sam or Quil?

Quil

Quil or Embry?

Embry

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria

Werewolves or Vampires?

VAMPIRES!!

Movie Stuff:

How did you first find out about the movie?

I started the series after they had Twilight movie on the cover of the book.

Are you excited?

YES!

What do you think of the casting so far?

I think they're brilliant!

Are you going to go see it?

Seen it!

Planning on going with anyone in particular?

my best friends

Do you think it stayed true to the book?

Yes and no

Breaking Dawn Speculation:

Are you planning on buying this book as soon as it's out?

i already have it

Do you think Bella will be turned into a vampire finally?

Yes, who doesn't? Course she will. Knew she would from the first book

Do you think she and Edward will get married?

Yes

Do you think Jacob might imprint in this book?

Yeah but not Bella.

Who do you think Bella will end up with : Edward or Jacob?

Edward

Do you think it will be a happy, sad, or shocking ending?

all three I think

Who do you think will be the villain(s) of the book this time?

Volturi

How would you feel about a possible vampire / werewolf cross?

Don't think so

Will Charlie find out Edward is a vampire?

Nah, doubt it

Will the vampires and werewolves continue the truce they had in Eclipse?

Yeah

If anyone, who do you think will die in this book?

I don't know

For a twist: what would you think if Edward was somehow turned human?

Nooo! He can't!

Do you think Jacob will be over Bella by the end of the book?

Yeah

What do you most want to happen in Breaking Dawn?

Bella to become a vampire and for her and Edward to get married

What's your dream ending?

I don't know

(A Few Last Things:)

In which book did you like Bella's character best?

Breaking Dawn from what I've read of it

How about Edward's?

twilight

Jacob's?

Breaking Dawn (again from what I've read)

Alice's?

all of them

If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person?

Edward/Emmett/Jasper cos I love them all!!

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite.

did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
Now...make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH!
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted

If you are so obsessed with Musical Theatre that you randomly start quoting it, copy this into your profile!

OZheads are just trying to make their way in a green world. If you are an OZhead then copy this to your profile!

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, paste this into your profile. What's the big deal, people!? They're human, too!

If you think that green skin is awesome, copy this into your profile. Elphaba rules!! SHE JUST DOES, AND ANYONE WHO DENIES IT IS FREAKIFIED!!

Ways to Tell You're a True Wicked Fanatic:

-You now want to throw a brick at your TV every time you watch The Wizard of Oz and Elphaba is melted, but you tell yourself it's all an illusion and she's going to escape with Fiyero, so it's OK.

-While looking for colleges the first one on your list was Shiz.

-When making your Christmas Wish List, all you do is write the URL link to the Ozdust Boutique and send it to everyone you know.

-You plan to be in Wicked, and if you get there and find that you’re just not good enough then you think that you can move those darn sets.

-Before you reply to anything you think "what would Elphaba say?"

-You find yourself singing I’m Not That Girl, when you feel that you’re just not that girl.

-You tried to write your history paper on "The Great Drought and it's Effect on Animals in Society"

-If someone who hates you calles you a witch, you take it as a compliment.

-You get good grades because you tell yourself, "Elphie would pay attention in class, so I guess I have to." or "Elphie would be studying, not goofing off, so I probably should, too."

-You got upset when you found out you couldn't take Gillikinese, Vinkan, or Qua'ati for your second language class.

-You find yourself saying things like , "Oh, my Oz!" or "Sweet Lurline!" or "Oz-forsaken", or even "Son of a Munchkin" in public, and get really wierd looks for it.

-You wish you had a Goat teacher like Doctor Dillamond.

-Someone asks you, "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?" and you answer Oz.

-You own a stuffed monkey named Chistery (yeah...)

-Cinderella's Castle? Screw that- give me Kiamo Ko.

-You have lost your voice singing Defying Gravity.

-You send various people the Wicked script over email or you print it out.

-Every fanfiction you write about Wicked is based on your own life cause you consider your self Elphaba.

-You can relate almost anything to Wicked, even if it is distant

-You introduce yourself as 'I am the other (insert position) (insert name) I am beautifully tragic.

-You talk to your pet due to suspicion that it might be an Animal in hiding. - yep!

-The background on your computer is the Wicked Defying Gravity scene.

-You brought up your grades because Elphaba's grades are good

Here's mine:

If you can't watch Wizard of Oz without wanting to throttle Dorothy, paste this into your profile.

If you think Dorothy is nothing but a friendship-ruining, fakeified, Witch-murdering, squeally little brat, paste this into you profile.

If you have developed a new Bohemian-Witch sense of style (dressing in dark colors and wearing thrift store clothes or fingerless gloves), paste this into your profile.

If you have attempted to Defy Gravity and have succeeded, paste this into your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Lily's Defender by Snapegirlkmf reviews
Lily was bullied & teased for being too smart & a Muggleborn, until Sev, wealthy Prince heir, decides to defend her and cause the scandal of the decade. AU, LE/SS.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 56 - Words: 287,063 - Reviews: 1939 - Favs: 647 - Follows: 831 - Updated: 1/28 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
Twists and Turns by sweetgleek07 reviews
Sam and Rachel are assigned a Mash-Up from Mr Schuester, much to Finn and Quinn's disapproval. A sudden romance quirks a lot of unexpected twists and turns. Can they make their relationship work? Pezberry/Puckleberry friendships. Midseason 2 to AU.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 58,371 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 401 - Updated: 1/27 - Published: 12/17/2010 - Sam E., Rachel B.
Keeping Secrets by Imwaiting4myAliceandEdward reviews
Voldemort is at it again when he has the corrupt MoM pass a new marriage law which forces every muggle born witch or wizard to marry in hopes of breeding out the filth. When Hermione is forced to marry Snape in secret, per Albus' suggestion and lack of options, will it be an unbearable marriage or one full of surprises? Timeline starts half way through HBP. A bit OOC. Marriage Law
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 31 - Words: 65,008 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 1/23 - Published: 1/17/2014 - [Hermione G., Severus S.]
Goodbyes On The Balcony by ByeByeBirdie reviews
3 years after Hogwarts, James and Lily are back with old and new friends by their side. Their lives are motivated by fear, their world surrounded by immense danger. As they each fight for their lives and for their loved ones in a world centered around Voldemort, the struggle to survive the war against him is nothing compared to the struggle to survive the wars within themselves.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 559,308 - Reviews: 1111 - Favs: 344 - Follows: 490 - Updated: 1/21 - Published: 5/18/2012 - [James P., Lily Evans P.] Sirius B., Remus L.
The Great Mistake of Severus Snape by ArwenFairTinuviel reviews
After calling her a Mudblood, Severus struggles with his intensifying desire for Lily Evans. But his fight to regain her friendship and earn her love is hindered not only by James, who takes up Dumbledore's special defence class with Lily, but also by himself. Can he succeed as the tension heightens between Lily and her two admirers? Or will Severus' mistakes spiral out of control?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 45 - Words: 306,421 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 1/17 - Published: 6/4/2012 - Severus S., Lily Evans P., James P.
Maybe I'm Amazed by Alethea27 reviews
What if Severus had never called Lily Mudblood? What if Potter's deliberate bullying had never managed to break them up? What if they decided to get married and have children despite the turbulent times? Not James friendly. Please read and review. This story is AU and is NOT canon-compliant. Image is from Dorian Gray and credited to Alliance and Ealing Studio, 2009.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 67 - Words: 335,252 - Reviews: 1190 - Favs: 889 - Follows: 959 - Updated: 12/28/2014 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
If You Want Something Done Right by Rukiie reviews
...you have to do it yourself. In their 6th year a mysterious disappearance forces Lily and Severus to work together despite their falling out and puts them on the path meant for a certain bespectacled boy but if you want something done right... LE/SS AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 44 - Words: 168,289 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 12/24/2014 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
If You Needed Somebody by Alethea27 reviews
What if Lily was engaged to James, but in love with Sev? What if Severus didn't return her feelings at first? This story is AU and NOT canon-compliant. Please read and review. Image is credited to dancingcarrot21 at deviantart.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 119,110 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 11/18/2014 - Published: 8/30/2011 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
Every Other Midnight by Kathryn's NomDePlume reviews
Professor Potter and Head Girl Lily Evans... The Dark Decline
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 82 - Words: 971,168 - Reviews: 4456 - Favs: 1,544 - Follows: 1,333 - Updated: 10/31/2014 - Published: 1/7/2008 - James P., Lily Evans P.
The Moment It Began by Sindie reviews
Deathly Hallows spoilers ensue. This story is being written as a response to JKR's comment in an interview where she said if Snape could choose to live his life over, he would choose Lily over the Death Eaters. AU Sequel posted: The Moment It Ended.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 124 - Words: 304,405 - Reviews: 6492 - Favs: 2,611 - Follows: 1,159 - Updated: 10/20/2014 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Angels on Earth by Spreadlight reviews
Years have passed since Leah and Ethan's last parting. Both have gone on with their own separate lives. Then one day, Leah's only daughter visits Nappanee, and once again, the Amish and English meet...only this time, will things end well?
Lurlene McDaniel - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 36,206 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 7/17/2014 - Published: 8/23/2006
Second Chances by Eawynne reviews
What if Lily had been alive when Severus Snape found her and Harry? I haven't published FF for a long time and this is my first Harry Potter story. It is rated M, but there will not be anything terribly graphic, it's just for safety with the system.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,795 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 7/12/2014 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
Nightmare by provocative envy reviews
COMPLETE: A broken time turner shouldn't have sent me back so far. It was unprecedented. Stepping on it-smashing it-nothing should have happened. At most, I should have lost a week. At worst, I should have disappeared altogether. I shouldn't have traveled back fifty-two years; half a bloody century. This should not have happened. HG/TR.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 162,420 - Reviews: 1263 - Favs: 1,292 - Follows: 1,238 - Updated: 7/1/2014 - Published: 10/17/2012 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Avenging Sweeney by Rin-Chan Elric reviews
The unknown child of Sweeney Todd breaks free of the "hellhole" orphanage she had lived in for 16 years finds her beloved father that she never met dead. She only wants answers, and to avenge the father she desperately wanted to meet all her life. What will Miss Sandi Todd do? Rated T, just to be safe. Don't like my fanfiction, simply leave and don't read it.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 10,959 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/23/2014 - Published: 7/11/2011 - Johanna B., Eleanor L., Sweeney T., Anthony H.
Resume by Ellie Oh reviews
She watched him from across the Great Hall, they hadn't spoken as friends in two years, but even after everything that had happened he was still with that horrid excuse of a girl. And she was still with James. And it sucked. Royally. AU, 7th year, !Head Boy/Girl
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,999 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 2/7/2014 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
Somewhere in Time by Serpent In Red reviews
Sent back in time by a mysterious person and trapped in the past with a missing Dumbledore and an overbearing, charismatic Dark Lord, they had no idea how much they could dabble with before the world they had known shattered into pieces.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 63 - Words: 360,238 - Reviews: 2725 - Favs: 1,437 - Follows: 1,311 - Updated: 12/31/2013 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Hermione G., Voldemort, Tom R. Jr. - Complete
For the Love of Three by KinkyLily reviews
None could inspire the kind of passion in her they did. All it took was a look, a touch, a word, and she practically crumbled at their feet. To go from constant fighting to this near inability to stay away from them, Lily soon finds herself at the mercy of the three most devilishly handsome gents in her year. And to think, it all started with a stray curse. Pairing: J/L/S/R
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 46,991 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 12/28/2013 - Published: 3/30/2013 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Longing by martman reviews
What if Lily had hated James? What if Lily had chosen Snape?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 20,824 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 12/15/2013 - Published: 11/3/2011 - Lily Evans P., Severus S. - Complete
Within the Wilderness, an Orchid Blooms by georgesgurl117 reviews
When the Marriage Act is repealed, will it be marked by the end of a failed marriage or will it inspire the beginning of something better? This is a story about politics, portraits, priorities, and perseverance. Most importantly, this is a story about love. 3RD PLACE WINNER FALL-WINTER 2013 HP FANFIC FAN POLL AWARDS: SS/HG BEST ROMANCE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 73,855 - Reviews: 658 - Favs: 665 - Follows: 511 - Updated: 8/21/2013 - Published: 2/12/2013 - [Hermione G., Severus S.] - Complete
A Stroke of Luck by PretendMulling reviews
Lily Potter's life was spared on October 31st, 1981, and now Severus Snape has the one thing he's always wanted: A second chance with her. But what will he do with it, now that he's got it? AU and not timeline-compliant past Chapter 1.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 50,912 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 8/21/2013 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
Second Chance, a new choice by moonbird reviews
Severus was dying in the shrieking shack, and he did indeed die. However, forces out of his control rendered him the ability to re-choose. going back and choose differently.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 71 - Words: 384,473 - Reviews: 851 - Favs: 681 - Follows: 594 - Updated: 8/15/2013 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Lily Evans P., Severus S. - Complete
Don't Go Without Me by Cass J reviews
It's the start of James Potter and Lily Evan's 7th year at Hogwarts, and Lily finally sees James as something more than just an "arrogant toerag" as they finally become something more and face the world together.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 123,712 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 7/28/2013 - Published: 2/24/2012 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
All You Need Is Love by jennyfromtheblock21 reviews
"They could have ages...months...years, maybe." The 19 unwritten years in the life of Harry Potter, and then some. Follows the book ending.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 75,689 - Reviews: 382 - Favs: 349 - Follows: 413 - Updated: 7/25/2013 - Published: 7/25/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Second Chance Encounter by FebruaryAquarian reviews
Harry and Lily survive Voldemort's attack. Lily goes somewhere she thinks will be safe and runs into someone familiar and the last person she would expect: Severus Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 56 - Words: 213,148 - Reviews: 982 - Favs: 372 - Follows: 383 - Updated: 6/25/2013 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
Denial by little beloved reviews
Marriage Law Fic. *WINNER: Of five 2007 OWL Awards, in categories Romance, Drama, A/U, Challenge and Fire & Ice. Winner of Mugglenet Quicksilver Quill Award 2008 and SS/HG Award for best Romance 2008.* Five years after the fall of Voldemort, Hermione and Severus receive unhappy news.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 214,081 - Reviews: 1342 - Favs: 1,092 - Follows: 682 - Updated: 5/24/2013 - Published: 2/1/2013 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Volturi Daughter by BellazB reviews
Isabella was born in the year 1917 and is Aro's daughter. She's been kept inside the castle walls all her life, but will that change when Bella and Edward meet over a period of time? ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,273 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 3/9/2013 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Irresistible Chemistry by Snapegirlkmf reviews
It'll never work, they said. Slytherin & Gryffindor, Muggle & Wizard. But sometimes the irresistible chemistry of the heart overrides everything. AU, LE/SS, PE/JP, Marauder era & beyond!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 85 - Words: 451,683 - Reviews: 1985 - Favs: 635 - Follows: 509 - Updated: 2/27/2013 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Lily Evans P., Severus S. - Complete
A Dream Carved in Stone by diadelphous reviews
When an unmarried Lily Evans joins the Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore gives her a simple mission: meet with the Death Eater Severus Snape and tell him what she's done. AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 56 - Words: 106,440 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 10/14/2012 - Published: 5/20/2012 - Lily Evans P., Severus S. - Complete
Ananke by Eunike reviews
A strange set of events sends the 19-year-old Lily into a terrible future where she and most of her friends are dead and the war is still on. Severus can't believe his luck. Can Lily change her fate? S/L
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 138,526 - Reviews: 1117 - Favs: 703 - Follows: 815 - Updated: 9/22/2012 - Published: 7/16/2008 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
Always by hello-nurse2005 reviews
AU Yet another Lily/Sev what if fic...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 40,094 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 8/27/2012 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
His future by zodiacvamp reviews
My version of Harry's life after the war was over
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 5,043 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 8/13/2012 - Published: 1/14/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Last Memory by crazycakes91 reviews
What if Harry's father was not James, but Severus? This story tells the events leading up to The Last Memories of Snape and Lily, two lovers who gave their lives for the Boy-Who-Lived, and the night that changed everything.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,838 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 4/22/2012 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
Life of Lily by Sweets5236 reviews
Lily Evans breaks at the beginning of her seventh year. Her life is currently a mess and she is confused and conflicted. Along her road to recovery she makes new friends and falls in love with the boy whom she despised.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 86,407 - Reviews: 274 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 6/16/2012 - Published: 12/17/2011 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Morning Glory by Severus-Toujours reviews
One lovely summer brings about some steamy changes in Severus and Lily's relationship. Everything flows rather smoothly over break but how will they be received upon their return to Hogwarts? Marauder era, AU, rated M for sexual content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 46,539 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 4/27/2012 - Published: 11/6/2011 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
What If Lily Forgave Severus by anjieslyfox reviews
Severus called her a Mudblood. Lily forgave him. Voldemort still wants him. Who hears the prophecy now? SS/LE OOC Snape
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 10,019 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 4/3/2012 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
The New Lucy by Helena306 PlagueRat reviews
Sweeney meets a woman and her daughter who remind him of his lost wife and daughter one night at Mrs. Lovett's shop. What will happen when he falls in love again, and what about Mrs. Lovett? My first stroy here. Enjoy and reviews are definately loved.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,100 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 3/29/2011 - Sweeney T., Eleanor L. - Complete
Fame by Sunday Wolf Song reviews
The bohos attend one of the most prestigious high schools for the performing arts in New York. Based loosly off of the 1980 film "Fame." Starts with auditions and I've decided to let it end after Freshman Year. My 50th Story!
RENT - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,024 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 11/8/2009 - Complete
Heaven's Light by Demolition.Lover.14 reviews
Benjamin was never sent away, Lucy was never raped. But a twist of events see to the transformation of Benjamin Barker to Sweeney Todd. Ben/Lucy, Sweeney/Lovett.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 57,515 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 12/13/2011 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Sweeney T., Eleanor L. - Complete
The Withheld Memory by Dearlady2002 reviews
Severus Snape has a memory that he holds dear to his heart, yet also hides from in shame. Canon story set during the Deathly Hallows II, with flashbacks to Snape's younger years.. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,025 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/13/2011 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Lily fixes a mistake by severusphoenix reviews
JK said that, given a second chance, Severus would pick Lily. I'm giving Lily a second chance to pick Severus, instead. AU, of course. Some deaths, too.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 79 - Words: 183,204 - Reviews: 1137 - Favs: 1,023 - Follows: 629 - Updated: 9/24/2011 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
What Cannot Be Forgotten by nerdalert123 reviews
The newlywed Lily Evans is visited by a repentant Snape and learns some new truths about her childhood friend. The meeting causes Lily to acknowledge her feelings for the man. Rated M for smut/violence in later chapters. Please Review!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,990 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 9/17/2011 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
Tourniquet by Miss Annabel Lenore Ragg reviews
What if things had happened differently that night in the bake house? What if Toby hadn't been able to hide from Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett? Eventual Sweenett.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,664 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/19/2011 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Eleanor L., Sweeney T.
Surviving Parent Abuse by blue fire 101 reviews
The summary is inside, but basically Bella is friends with Cullens, even Rosalie, and her parents abuse her and mistreat her. can she survive. will the Cullen's find out the truth.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,833 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 8/16/2011 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Toy Soldiers by Nifty Niffler reviews
Takes place following the Final Battle. Harry gets lost in his guilt and grief. This story will document his recovery from all that he's suffered.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 80,533 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 7/18/2011 - Published: 12/21/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Brave One by Spanish Sunrise reviews
A college student, descendant of Nellie Lovett, here to live in the old house on Fleet Street, only to discover the overwhelming amount of paranormal activity in it. She is literaly dropped twohundred years back for the purpose of changing Swenett's fate.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,643 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/11/2011 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Sweeney T., Eleanor L.
Name by obsessivelyfanaticgw09 reviews
"Mr. T? Do you have any idea where you got your name from? Sweeney Todd?"-Random drabble!
Sweeney Todd - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 312 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Sweeney T., Eleanor L. - Complete
All the Way to the Top by MissElliexXxXx reviews
"Look around you, The 11 people you are sitting with are now your family. You don't have to like it but that's the business you've chosen to pursue by enrolling in this school." St Berry AU
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,855 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 5/29/2011 - Published: 1/4/2011 - Jesse sJ., Rachel B.
Sweeney by the Sea by JDeppIsMyLovely reviews
Sweeney's thoughts as Mrs. Lovett sings By the Sea! Oneshot.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Sweeney T., Eleanor L. - Complete
Something New and Real by BellazB reviews
Edward is 23 and a single father of two. All the girls want his money and Edward hates that. What happens when he meets Bella and her son? Will things change even if Bella is the nannie of Edward's children?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 27,136 - Reviews: 1160 - Favs: 955 - Follows: 469 - Updated: 4/24/2011 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Red by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
Bella hated Edward, and Edward hated Bella. Or so she thought. Forced to work with him for the money, there's no escaping his anger, his resentment, and... his love. AH/AU EDITING IN PROGRESS: CHAPTER 1-4 DONE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,721 - Reviews: 3722 - Favs: 1,910 - Follows: 1,063 - Updated: 2/22/2011 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward
Don't wait until angles close your eyes by Gothicmistress101 reviews
"Go, go home" Ethan hopped over the split railed fence fronting the road. She watched him walk quickly toward the house, toward his family, and out of her life forever. Or so she thought..."welcome home Mrs. Longacre", Leah leaned into her husband.
Lurlene McDaniel - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 44 - Words: 31,101 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 2/13/2011 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Complete
Someone Wake Me Up by MadderThanTheCheshire reviews
AU - It's been three years since Edward left Bella, and now she's moving on with her life as a singer in a band. What happens when the Cullen's show up at one of her concerts?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 47,183 - Reviews: 646 - Favs: 460 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 2/6/2011 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Alternate Ending by maddiekinzzz reviews
Well, I'm really bad at titles and summaries. What would life for Maria be like if no one died due to the rumble? AU.
West Side Story - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,980 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/25/2011 - Published: 11/14/2010
Rachel Barbra Berry is Back by ATmyPC reviews
Rachel is back and determined to get the praise and glory she deserves from the Glee Club then she meets Mckinley's new Drama teacher who stirs things up at McKinley and changes her life. Pls give my story a chance! My first story EVER
Glee - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,107 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Rachel B.
Letters to My Best Friend by HeartsHungBehind reviews
Emails between Rachel and Kurt, Finchel and Klaine ships. Rated T for mild language and minor content. Rachel is still in the weeds with Finn, but maybe a Warbler and his boyfriend can help, with a little bit of smut along the way...
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,480 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 1/11/2011 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Rachel B., Kurt H. - Complete
What the Future Holds by The Stark in the TARDIS reviews
What happens after DH? Learn the fate of the Elder wand and numerous relationships. All canon. H/G, Hr/R etc..
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 36,417 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 11/27/2010 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Reflections of a Lost Time Hiatus by amjoensson reviews
After DG. Elphaba has left Glinda and has fleed to Vinkus with Fiyero. Now fifteen years later they both have children. Glinda's daughter gets injured and is left alone by her friends on a trip in Vinkus and is brought to her nightmare the Wicked Witch.
Wicked - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,259 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/22/2010 - Published: 10/25/2009 - Elphaba T., Glinda U.
Grave Days by Northumbrian reviews
The Battle of Hogwarts is over. The following day Harry wakes to a changed world, to a future he did not think he would have. This is a story about those first days after the battle. Days of mourning and funerals. Grave Days.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 76,261 - Reviews: 273 - Favs: 451 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 11/19/2010 - Published: 11/3/2009 - [Harry P., Ginny W.] [Hermione G., Ron W.] - Complete
Truth or Dare, Cullen Style by canadianfatcake reviews
Alice has a vision. It involves all of the Cullens. They are going to play TRUTH OR DARE. Not all of the members want to play; but in the end, they all shall enjoy it as Emmett is made gay, and Alice and Jasper's truth comes out. Funny. Some Bad Language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 28,223 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 10/29/2010 - Published: 12/29/2008
But I Die, Without You by Dewey18 reviews
Without you how can I do this alone? How can I take care of our little girl? How do I go on without you? I suck at summaries, read and review pretty please ? :D
RENT - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,545 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/25/2010 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Roger D., Mimi M.
For the Potions Master's Amusement by snape.submiss reviews
Now Complete! Severus Snape is not a kind man, but Hermione Granger is past caring. She wants his approval and will do anything to get it. How far will she go? Even she has no concept of the depths to which she will fall in her quest.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 86 - Words: 304,467 - Reviews: 2888 - Favs: 1,582 - Follows: 729 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
The Moment It Ended by Sindie reviews
A short story sequel to The Moment It Began. When the anniversary of Severus's death comes around, how does he cope with telling his son? Can he tell his son?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,322 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 188 - Updated: 6/16/2010 - Published: 4/1/2010 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Twilight Mailbag! by pinkcrayon1101 reviews
This is a Q and A session with all of your favorite characters from Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. It's rated "T" just in case. Better summary inside! Please read it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,149 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 7/12/2008
Don't Forget by margauxmoran reviews
“Gin, is there something wrong?” the man asked, moving closer to her. She shook her head and closed her eyes, tears starting to fall on her cheeks. “I think so … because I can’t remember who you are,” she cried.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,440 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 6/8/2010 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Harry Potter and The World Reborn by andelyn kinsey reviews
The Second War has ended, and so much work is left still to do. Death Eaters are still at large, the Ministry and its laws are in disarray, families have been torn apart. Harry and his friends struggle to find their places in the new world.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 248,148 - Reviews: 401 - Favs: 548 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 5/22/2010 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Truth or Dare with the Cullens by AvrilSays reviews
Truth or Dare with the Cullens. My very first humor fic...in which Alice's clothes get ripped up, Rosalie's car is painted hot pink with neon green stripes, and Bella is the evil genius. Extremely OOC. R&R please. HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,093 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 5/14/2010 - Published: 12/30/2008
The Year Of Babies by Flutest friend reviews
The school decdeds to have a class about being pregnant and a mother or father at the same time.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,746 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Enchantifying! by obsessive-elphaba reviews
After a visit to New York, Nancy and Edward find themselves in quite the situation, and what exactly is happening with our favorite green girl and scarecrow? For Idina! BACK ON TRACK! For now...
Crossover - Wicked & Enchanted - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,772 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/18/2010 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Fiyero T., Prince Edward
Harry Potter 8 by theshapeshifter75 reviews
this is the story of the events right after the defeat of lord voldemort. I changed the rating to M just in case I put something dirty.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,017 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/29/2010 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W.
The lost years (ABANDONED) by gilraenciryatar reviews
After Voldemort's defeat Harry and his friends went to his last year at Hogwarts school. Several years passed by and it is time for a new genearation of witches and wizards. What happened between Hogwarts Battle and Albus Severus First Day at school?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,903 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/12/2010 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Harry Potter and the years that followed by PotterWizard85 reviews
Events following the flaw in the plan up until 19 years later.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 64,143 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 2/21/2010 - Published: 11/28/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Wicked Too by wickedwitchoftheNE reviews
*Being revised/updated!* It's been 3 years since The Wizard of Oz. Elphaba has a daughter, Glinda has 2 children and Dorothy is in Kansas wishing to go back to Oz. When her wish gets granted, she returns home with a little baby girl who is really Elphabas
Wicked - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 22,754 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 2/7/2010 - Published: 5/25/2004
What If by Astarel reviews
What if Elphaba accepted the Wizard's offer, and Galinda became the Wicked Witch? What if all of Oz loved the Green Girl instead? And what if Galinda came to terms with her love for her best friend?
Wicked - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,592 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/29/2010 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Elphaba T., Glinda U.
8th Summer by AmeliaBedalia reviews
My take on the summer following Deathly Hallows. Harry/Ginny love of course with moments of Ron/Hermione love as well.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,279 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 1/19/2010 - Published: 7/23/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Several Sunlit Days by GinervaPotter1985 reviews
The final battle is finally over. Families have been ripped apart, friendships severed, relationships broken. He's gotten this far. Now he won't stop until he has it all. Including the youngest Weasley.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,205 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 1/15/2010 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Shizwarts by Wicked'elphaba-fiyero reviews
Sequel to Remeber Me?. HP/ Wicked crossover. With the rise of the dark lord, the ministry is transferring Shiz students to Hogwarts! The Oz gang is joing Hogwarts in their 7th year along with Harry, Ron, Hermione etc. fiyeraba. I may change the title.
Wicked - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,503 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/9/2010 - Published: 6/16/2009 - Elphaba T., Fiyero T.
Opposites Attract by Wicked.Essence reviews
Three figures cloaked in black. A city shining with the light of fire. A brick road of blue. "I'm scared," Glinda whispered to her shakily. Although she would have never dreamed she would admit it; for once Elphaba Thropp was afraid. Gelphie. Rated T.
Wicked - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 62 - Words: 207,451 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 3/18/2009 - Elphaba T., Glinda U.
The Problem with Purity by Phoenix.Writing reviews
As Hermione, Harry, and Ron are about to begin their seventh and final year at Hogwarts, they learn some surprising and dangerous information regarding what it means to be Pure in the wizarding world. HG/SS with H/D. AU after OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 62 - Words: 638,037 - Reviews: 4596 - Favs: 3,495 - Follows: 1,119 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Dirty Little Secret by QueenKalasin reviews
Harry and Ginny broke up publicly at the end of HBP, but what about privately? This is the tale of two teenagers, and their secret and sordid relationship! The first chapter is a bit tame, but things quickly change, and the rating is well earned.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 47 - Words: 155,198 - Reviews: 1256 - Favs: 1,242 - Follows: 669 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 1/4/2007 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Love Bitten by VampLover2009 reviews
Bella was turned by three vampires who were in the Southern wars. They are her BFF's and they meet the Cullens. Will there be love? Will the others find true love as well? this story contains my BFF's and i plus some romance.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,912 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Bella, Edward
I Do Love You by LightAdrianTobiasErik reviews
Alternate ending to Blood Promise and more. Rose is on her way home when Dimitri meets up with her earlier than before. What will happen? Read to find out! Strong T rating. R/R.
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,319 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/17/2009 - Published: 9/6/2009 - Rose H., Adrian I.
You and Me by rainbowfish22 reviews
/"I’m not going to be a good mother; I can’t even govern Munchkinland well."/ Bessa.
Wicked - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,456 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/1/2009 - Published: 9/29/2009 - Nessarose T., Boq
Reincarnation by TwilighterRenthead reviews
A girl runs across the graves of eight people with oddly familiar names, names she has never heard before. I had to take it down and repost it so I could fix something. Mark is not dead, had I originally planed.
RENT - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,283 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 11/1/2009 - Published: 3/5/2009 - Roger D., Mark C.
Probitas, Amicitias, Morsus by Nirav reviews
Glinda, in the aftermath; thoughts on honesty: White lies, she told herself, were allowable when uttered for the sake of a promise made to a friend.
Wicked - Rated: K - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,456 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Glinda U., Elphaba T. - Complete
Bringing April Early by klutzygirl34 reviews
Bella is sick of Emmett and Jasper always pranking her, so she with the help of Rosalie, Esme and Alice, she will bring April Fool's Day early this year.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,449 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/23/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella
The Dares! by Rocker-Chick-12345 reviews
Everyone plays a game of truth or dare. //In Progress//
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,713 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 8/20/2009 - Published: 11/28/2008
Twilight Karaoke! by Narceine reviews
The Twilight characters sing karaoke! I suck at summaries but please try and review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 7,078 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Complete
There's No Place Like Home by TaquitoEveningStar reviews
Bella's father is a traveling business man, so wherever he goes, she goes. When she finally puts her foot down to moving, her parents send her to live with the Cullens. She meets six brothers. Edward, the hated one, intrigues Bella and hides a dark past.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,114 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella
It's Meant to be Ours by hiddeninplainsight reviews
Sequel to IIHE. Six months have passed since Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie have moved in with Bella, Alice, and Emmett. How will life be in their house? BxE, EmxR, AxJ. All Human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 22,743 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 5/26/2009 - Published: 3/20/2009 - Complete
New Students, again by KnockturnAlly reviews
75 years after Breaking Dawn the Cullen's return to Forks. But what if not all of their new class mates are oblivious to the fact that they are vampires? R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 34,529 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 4/26/2009 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Complete
Edward and The Other Girl by LightAdrianTobiasErik reviews
This story takes place after Breaking Dawn. The Cullens have moved and a girl at their new school has taken an interest in Edward. The strange thing is Edward is liking her back. Bad Summary PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 26 - Words: 25,170 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 4/15/2009 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
College With The Cullens by natasha cullen reviews
Ever wonder what happened after Breaking Dawn? Its college for the Cullens, and everyone is back, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, Edward and Bella, Carlisle and Esme, and even Jacob and Renesmee...and maybe someone else...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,961 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 3/25/2009 - Published: 12/30/2008
It's in His Eyes by hiddeninplainsight reviews
Bella, Emmett, and Alice share a house, and Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper share an apartment. When the two groups meet, anything can happen. All human. BxE EmxR JxA.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 44,217 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 3/20/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Complete
Dazzle Me by megan love reviews
Crazy things are bound to happen when the Cullens decide to play American Idol. Who will steal the spotlight as the family competes for the title? BPOV
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,707 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/4/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008
Karaoke Party! by XO LoveIsOnItsWay reviews
Disney Stars and the stars of Twilight are having a Karaoke Party! Oh, this will be fun…
Camp Rock - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,723 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/30/2008
Life Goes On by Pixie-With -A-Gift reviews
Leah has moved on with her life. she is married with a child. will she still be happy when she goes to Charity's wedding, and sees Eithan again? And how will Eithan react to meeting her husband and child? Read and find out. R&R plz better then it sounds!
Lurlene McDaniel - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,762 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/7/2008 - Published: 4/24/2008
Fate Won't Let Them Be Apart! by littlewolf123 reviews
After Ethan left Leah, she had a baby... his baby. Now, after 16 years, Leah's daughter, Rebekah, goes to Nappanee on a school trip. Once again, the English and the Amish world collide. Except this time, the English won't be so willing to accept the Amish
Lurlene McDaniel - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,621 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 2/15/2007 - Published: 10/17/2006
Caged Bird by DonJuanTriumphs reviews
An arranged marriage tears Christine from the only family she knows and into the arms of a masked stranger.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 64 - Words: 142,078 - Reviews: 1566 - Favs: 526 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 7/26/2006 - Published: 3/21/2006 - Erik, Christine - Complete
Angels Among Us by Anaxandra reviews
Nine years after "Until Angels Close My Eyes", Leah Lewis-Hall receives a letter from someone she never thought she'd hear from again. With the help of one family, Leah Lewis-Hall learns more about life and faith as well as more about herself.
Lurlene McDaniel - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,019 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/18/2004 - Published: 12/19/2003
Least Likely Of All by fourandtwenty reviews
Set in the Lily/James Hogwarts Era in the beginning, he's abusive and she can't let go. Who helps her? The Least Likely Of All... in more ways than one.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 100 - Words: 179,415 - Reviews: 1288 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/31/2001 - Published: 5/21/2001 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
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If Everything Had Been Different reviews
Lily and Snape Romance, takes place just after their sixth year at Hogwarts. Rated T, might move up to M
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,734 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/26/2012 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
Freedom for Love reviews
About six years after the war. Ginny has found a way to bring back the dead. Harry and Ginny have been married for about four years now. Harry finally gets to live a normal life... Well, as normal as any other auror who defeated Voldemort's life can be.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,487 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/26/2012 - Published: 2/9/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Nappanee Again reviews
What will happen when, a year after the final page turn, a ghost from Ethan's past returns to him. Leah goes to Nappanee to visit Kathy, and, in the process, finds her love again. But will she be accepted among the Amish community? Can she handle giving up her lifestyle for the one person who means everything to her?
Lurlene McDaniel - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,030 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/26/2012 - Published: 3/21/2009