RevealTheBeast
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Joined 12-21-08, id: 1777153, Profile Updated: 08-16-09

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Less than 1 precent of teenages don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

If you wish your whole class liked the same books as you copy and paste this into your profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you dislike people who dislike people that aren't pretty, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think your mentally insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Seddie is much better than Creddie, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of
Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. (So where did the gay people come from...)
8)
Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune

Find a Globe. Spin it. What does it say? sudan

2.Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 3, word 6. Which book is it,and what does it say? the

3.What can you hear right now? the proud family movie

4.Have a conversation with the closest living thing other than yourself: the wall woudnt answer

5.Turn on the T.V. What show is on? disney channel proud family movie

7.What happened last time you were typing on this computer? i coudnt paste somthing and my mom had to fix it

8.Stand up. Close your eyes. spin around 3 times. Open your eyes. What do you see? coat closet door

9.If you could be anyone from harry potter who would you be? hedwig

10.Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they say? deeesoad

Everyday Life
Take this survey
1.You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station hot cheetos2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be? shark

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

( )( )
( 0.0 )
( _ )

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

4. What do you order when youre at IHOP? pancakes

5. Last book you read? new moon

6. Describe your mood. Ummm... I'm bored.

7. Describe the last time you were injured?last night 1/20/09 i had a ball om a rope and i hit myself in the with it

8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with? hannah

9. Rock concert or symphony? ROCK!!

10. What is the wallpaper of your cell phone? Umm.. i dropped my cell phone in a sewer and i am waiting on new one

11. Favorite Soda? dr.pepper

12. What type of shirt are you wearing?green shirt.

13. If you could only use one form of transportation: moped

14. Most recent movie you have watched in theatres? city of ember

15. Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for: josh huterson

16. Whats your favorite kind of cake? ice Cream Cake.

17. What did you have for dinner last night? enchaldes

18. Look to your left, what do you see? a lamp

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Umm no.

20. Favorite toy as a child? a blue mouse named ralph

21. Do you buy your own groceries? No.

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? yes

23. Whens the last time you had gummy worms? a year ago

24. Whats your favorite fruit? star fruit.

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel? No.

26. Do you like running long distances? No.

27. Have you ever eaten snow? Yes.

28. What color are your bedsheets? blue with flowers they are so ugly

29. Whats your favorite flower? Violets.

30. Do you do ballet? You've got to be kidding me.

31. Do you listen to classical music? hate it but i play the trumpet

32. What is the 1st TV Theme song that pops in your head? 6teen

33. Do you watch Sponge bob? Yes.

34. What temperature is it outside right now? -17

35. Do people consider you smart? I STILL KNOW NOTHING!! in school but outside of school i am very smart

36. How many piercings do you have? needle phobia

37. Are you signed on AIM? No.

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together? Yes.

39 .How do you feel about your family? Umm they're parents. What am I supposed to say? plus my little sister i hate her

40. Do you have an iPod? Yes.

41. What time do you go to bed? 5:30 am

42. What CD is currently in your CD player? Nothing.

43. What movie do you know every line to? to every one i see so over 200

44. What is your favorite salad dressing? thousand island

45. What do you want for Christmas this year? its 1/21/09 just passed but i want a ATV i am omly twelve

46. What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? cousins jonathen and trever

47. Do you like hugs? only from certin people

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Winter Concert.

49. Whats the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? cant tell you

Do you watch college football? never

2. Who's your favorite redhead? ron weasly
3. Who will fill this survey out after you? hopfulley nature9000

4. Who was the last person to send you a text message? pohne problems remember

5. Do you love anyone? yes

6. Are you happy? Yes.

7. Where was the last place you went shopping? journeys

8. How do you feel about your hair? It's wet

9. Where do you work? School. They treat us like slaves! and they beat us their just kidding

10. Last thing you ate/drank? microwavable cookie and cherry juice

11. Do you wish you were someplace else right now? Not really.

12. Do you have any pet peeves? Too many.

13. Do you have any expensive jewelry? yeah

14. AIM or Yahoo? Yahoo.

15. Do you like math? I LOVE IT! Just kidding, I hate it! Lol. i am failing it

16. How many hours on average do you work a week: I dont work just school

18. Favorite baseball team? Don't care.

19. Favorte NBA team? Don't care.

20. Do you watch the Olympics? Yes.

21. Last restaurant you went to? granite city

22. Who was the last person to call you? my mom

23. What’s your sign? aquarius

24. Do you have a favorite number? 1/3/09

25. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations? I never did, I'm too lazy.

26. What do you spend the majority of your money on? toys electronicts

27. Where does your family live? You do not need to know that.

28. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? i have a sister named kelsie born in 1999

29. Ever been called a bitch? Luckily, no!

30. Got any guilty pleasures? i have a little tikes underwater camera

31. Do you drink beer? Ew no.

32. Whats your favorite color? red

33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies? Yeah, who dosen't?

34. Ever bought anything online? Yes.

35. Myspace or Facebook? I'd pick Facebook.my space sucks

36. Do you have T-Mobile? No, I hate T-Mobile.

38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else? Yeah.

41. Last time you saw your parents? 5 hours and 43 minutes ago

42. Do you have any talents? I can memorize any song or movie line

43. Ever been in a wedding? yes

44. Do you have any children? No.

45. Last movie you watched?juno

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment? no

47. Did you take a nap today? No.

49. Ever been on a cruise? No.

50. Did you notice number 40 was missing? No.

52. Do you have any wealthy friends?all of them

53. Ever met anyone famous before? cheetah girls

54. Favorite actor? jerry trainer

55. Favorite actress? emily osment

56. Are you multi-tasking right now? on computer and watching tv

57. Could you handle being in the military? No way!!

58. Are you hungry or thirsty? Hungry.

59. Favorite fast food restaurant? Cheesecake Factory.

61. What is your average cell phone bill? I try not to think about it.

62. Do you own a camera phone? Yeah.

63. Ever had to take a sobriety test? No.

64. Do you believe in Karma? Yes.

65. Can you speak any other languages? no just english

66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out? 1/21/o9

67. How many pairs of shoes do you own? ten

68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use? PhotoBucket.

69. Last place you were?my house

71. Ever been to Las Vegas? yes

76. Have you ever been gambling? No.

77. How old are your parents? 44 and 47

78. When is the last time you updated your blog? 1/20/09

79. Do you have your wisdom teeth? no

80. Favorite place to be? anywere with my friends

81. Have you been to New York City? no

82 Favorite sit down restaurant? jmk nippon

83. Ever been to Disney Land? No.

84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? jude from 6teen

85. Last thing you cooked? a microwavable cookie

86. How is the weather today? cold and snowy

87. Do you email? Yes.

88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?a american girl magizine i hate that store

91. Last voicemail you received? I forget.

92. Do you drunk dial/text? No way man.

93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? accidently drop it in sewer

94. What is the best city in the state that you live in? I don't know.

96. Did you just die? maybe

97. Are you bored right now? Kinda.

98. Last concert you went to? my band concert

99. What do you think about before you go to bed? Seddie = love beyond love.

100. What are your plans for tomorrow?go to school

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Before you take the life of your baby, really consider all your options. Would you rat

her be fat for a while, or kill your child?

If you're against abortion, re-post this

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDN'T GO TO YOUR FUNERAL CAUSE I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THE BITCH THAT KILLED YOU! SEND IT TO YOUR TRUE FRENDS

A friend calls you while you're in jail, a good friend visits you while you're in jail and a best friend will be sitting next to you yelling, "THAT WAS AWESOME LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!" If you have a best friend copy and paste this into your profile.

SOMEONE MAKES FUN OF YOU. A GOOD FRIEND WOULD MAKE FUN OF THEM BACK. A TRUE FRIEND WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM FOR YOU. copy and paste in profile if you have any "true" friends.

Did you know that... Kissing is healthy. Bananas are good for period pain. It's good to cry. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. Chocolate will make you feel better. Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. A good friend never judges. A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. Boys aren't worth your tears. We all love surprises. Now, make a wish. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and your wish will be granted.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened

Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional

To get to the end of the rainbow, you have to put up with some rain

To the world your just one person, but to one person you might be the world.

Sometimes the dreams that come true,are the dreams you never even knew you had.

Smile and the world smiles with you

Dont worry, it might never happen

You're not wasting your life away if your doing the things you enjoy.

caitie. that's me.
even if i change.
i'm still caitie.
forever.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Repost this as I did if you think homophobia is wrong. I am willing to stand up to anyone and everyone who thinks that being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual or anything else like that is wrong and sinful. You cannot help who you love. Whether you are a man that loves a man, a woman that loves a woman, or someone who found out that they were born in the wrong body, you are who you chose to be. Don't let anyone scare you into thinking that who you love or who you want to be is wrong, because it is not.

29 reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character (yeah, i've done that) or the central female figure in a computer game. (never done that though)
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. (gag me with a spork)
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. (in that case, i'm adorable)
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. (gag me...again)
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think the reason most people put anonymous reviews(other than not having an account) is because they are afraid of being confronted by the person they flamed, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever wondered why you exist and/or why your name is what it is then copy and paste this to your profile

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile

If 2 of your friends jumped off a cliff, and would you be standing there laughing your ass off, copy and paste this to your profile.(only if it was Warriorsgirl and Dragonbreath102)

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you and have called in reinforements copy and paste this onto your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever had to be pinned down on the ground, floor, or wall by your friends because you were about to kill someone,98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever gotten annoyed with all of these 'copy and paste this into your profile' sayings, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile

I hate Twilight! If you hate Twilight to, then copy and paste this to your profile. =D

hday!

- "Stressed" is "Desserts" backwards

- Being random is like having a cup of tea. You never know what will jump out and eat you.

- I called my boyfriend the wrong name and now he thinks I'm cheating on him with some guy named "Edward Cullen"

- Try and wake me up in the morning and you will die. YOU WILL DIE.

- I think of funny things in my head and burst out laughing all by myself.

s squat
p pray

L leap
A ahhhh
T touchdown

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN IT! we fucked up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Are yor personal crying sholder.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

Why do we play at a recital, and recite at a play?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why feet smell and noses run?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why does our alarm clock go off by going on?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows Beta, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
When you wind up a clock you start it, so why when you wind up a speech do you end it?
Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
How come a wise man and a wise guy are different?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
If Vegetable Oil is made of vegetables, what is Baby Oil made of?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why is there no ham in hamburgers?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
And why does your house burn up while it burns down?
Why is there no apple in pineapple?
Why do we fill in a form by filling it out?
If you wonder about these questions too, copy and paste this into your profile and maybe we'll get some answers.

I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof!

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know what pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is, copy and paste this into your profile

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you enjoy things that ask you to copy and paste them into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile.

Yaaaay kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination.


Febuary 14, 2008

I was sitting paiently, in a classroom on that day

In the autotorium as the cold wind made the flags sway

The door was kicked open, and to my surprise

19 people were shot, right before my eyes

1, 2, 3 and 4 went down

and screams were shared all around

My heart skipped a beat

No this can't be real!

The bullets flew in a blood driven wheel

As I breathed a great breath

that soon was my last

A bullet was lodged right in my chest

and that right where it rest

In that room, Cole hall that said

15 people were wounded

And 5 were shot dead

Copy and Paste this into your profile so sll are known about the tragedy at Northen Illinois University on February 14, 2008-

Forward, Together Forward


con

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

My name is eric I am but three

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see.

I must be stupid

I must be bad

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly

Then maybe my mommy

would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

all the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks arent home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice

So maybe I'll get just

one whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

my daddy is back

from Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

against the wall.

I try and hide

from his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now,

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words

He says it's my fault

he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

and run for the door.

He's already locked it,

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor,

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

with more bad words spoken.

"I'm Sorry!" I scream

But now it's much too late

His face has been twisted

into an umimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again,

Oh please, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

He finally stops

and heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

sprawled on the floor.

My name is eric

I am but three

Tonight my father

Murdered me.

CHILD ABUSE, MAKE IT STOP!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

Hey, quick question, for whoever just happens to read this.

"If a beaver and a duck were to make a platypus, which would be on top?"

It really makes you think, doesn't it?

Hmm.

And so does chocolate cake, which explains why I've gained an extra flab on my sides this year. Guh.

Fatness. We all hate it, and most of us girls are always complaining about it.

But hey, if you happen to think the reason those people throw up their meal when they're done eating is because they like the taste of their own undigested food, you go right on ahead.

Hehe. Did you get that? It was a joke?

You didnt laugh...did you?

And next person who comes up to me and says "School aint so bad" I will flip you off.

Don't underestimate me.

I've got special powers.

!!COPY&PASTECOPY&PASTECOPY&PASTE!!

Copy and paste if you believe that Craig Bartlett should've NEVER left Nickelodeon, and continued on with the Hey Arnold! "Jungle Movie", and Arnold and Helga SHOULD'VE gotten together by now.

Copy and paste if you believe that Helga really SHOULDN'T HAVE taken back her confession, and let Arnold FINALLY know the WHOLE truth.

Copy and paste this if you're a fan of Severus Snape and SOBBED for an HOUR OR MORE when he died in "The Deathly Hallows."

Copy and paste if you aren't afraid to admit that you like the Rypay 'ship!!

Copy and paste if you ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when authors on FFN upload a story with a MAJOR cliffhanger in only the first chapter, and don't update for, like, EVER!!

Copy and paste if you say "OMG", "OMFG", "WTF", "IDK" in real life.

Copy and paste if you and your friends are the craziest peeps at school, and don't care, and smirk when people look at you funny.

Copy and paste if you are trying to love and live your life as much as you can, while you're still young.

Copy and paste if you believe in... "HUGS! NOT DRUGS!"

3) "It's called PMS because mad cow was taken." -Unknown

14) "Of COURSE you're alone you KILLED. YOUR. BOYFRIEND!" -Niles, Fraiser

16) "I'm not able to draw a stick, let alone a stick figure!" -Joel, Northern Exposure

25) "Excuse me I have to go on a killing spree. Does two count as a spree or do I have to kill you too?" -House, House M.D.

26) "My team thinks I have syphillis." "Do you?" "Not yet." -House, House M.D.

27) "Light a man a fire and you warm him for a day. Light a man ON fire and you warm him for the rest of his life."

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

if you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101

IF YOU THINK THAT WB CHANGING THE HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOODED PRINCE RELEASE DATE TO JULY IS A BUNCH OF BULL THEN COPY THIS INTO YOU PROFILE!If you think Miley Cyrus should just come to terms with the fact that she has multiple personality disorder and get the help she needs so bad, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile.

If you think Avril Lavigne is FUCKING AWSOME and not an 'emo whiny vagina' as she's described in Cindy Ella by Robin Palmer, copy and past this into your profile.

This is totally hilarious I got it in an email from someone I'm not sure who but READ IT you know you want to

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba:

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad:

For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Bubba

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad:

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Bubba

If you have ever severely hurt someone and could hardly contain your laughter, copy and paste this to your profile

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!) XP

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

My name is Nora
and I'm seventeen,
I am on drugs
and cannot clearly see.
Because of this
my grades in school have dropped.
I am very drunk,
Sometimes I'm beaten up
by some street punk.
There are so many rules
i've tried not to break,
But I am so drunk
that I can't stand up straight.
I am so drunk ,
Most of the time
I cannot talk.
Maybe if my parents trusted me,
they would let me hold a car key.
One night I was out walking around,
But there was a sound
and then I saw a man
who didn't want me in town.
The man was holding a gun,
He was not as bright
He was like a Earth without a sun.
My name is Nora
I am seventeen,
and tonight a man
murdered me.
Remember: Say NO to drugs!! Drug Abuse is very dangerous, so help make it stop.If you care at all about stopping Drug Abuse copy the poem and add your name to this list: Ice The Angel, Tiger Mew Mew, Jojo McDodd, Pixel Alice, Sirius Obsessed, Moony4413

Try not to cry on this one: sniffle

A girl and her boyfriend were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary.

Guy: then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now please slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

(She gives him a big hug)

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, but he didn't want his girlfriend to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live, even though that meant he would die. If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

I I am not gay, I am straight however i don't care if you're gay and I can't believe that people can be so friggin' evil to the people who are gay. Copy and paste this if you believe this.

For all you people who love the same sex you go peeps!

Old enough to know better, but still too young to care!

Here's some of these, I saw them and had to have 'em!

If you know what I'm talking about when I say OMC insted of OMG, copy and paste this into your profile.

TOO FUNNY!!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this to your profile.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (bold ones apply to me)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

If you think that Mickey Mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar, copy this to your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction and/or fictionpress, copy this into your profile

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if heshe did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras

"And then her pants just disappeared! Did Edward, like, use his powers to remove them? Does she do that normally?" If you think Hannah Montana should just go die in a ditch, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever stared at the computer screen, waiting for an email, because you have gone nowhere all day, copy this onto your profile.

I hear the song Shake it every time I go to Hollister. Tell me that's a coincidence?

Believe me, when you're older, age gaps really don't matter. Think of it this way...If you're 80 and your partner is 90, the age gap really doesn't matter! (Some parent out there with a 16 year old dating a 25 year old is going to kill me! Sorry!)

I love writing and reading Homosexual smut, obviously. Who wants to read hetrosexual smut? That's disgusting.

You've found what you wanted to do,
and are now working towards it.
And seeing that makes me happy.

You'll gain a lot of knowledge,
and meet a lot of new people.
From now on, you'll continue to live on.

Your future is expanding by infinite proportions.
But in my case, it's not the same.
In the future that I have left,
how should I go about living it?

That's it.
That's all that there is.
There's nothing we can do about this difference.
Everyday, I'm fighting against myself.
I'm worried, and it's painful.
To try and suppress such feelings, I've used up all my energy.

Here's the truth.
It's painful to be with Asou-kun.
Wanting to do this, wanting to do that.
Thinking that if I didn't get this disease,
then I would be able to do them all.

When I'm with Asou-kun,
I'll keep on wanting a dream that can never come true.
Of course, it's not Asou-kun's fault.
But I envy you,
and I feel sorry for myself.

It doesn't matter what I do,
but with the me right now,
I'm becoming more miserable.

If it stays like this, I won't have the courage to live on.
Thank you for doing so much for me.
For saying that you like me, even the way I am now,
thank you.

I'm sorry that I can't give you anything in return.
I can't,
see you anymore..


Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their
various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned,
and
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only
a
few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees,
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm
and
danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short
cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed
a
man standing at the end as though he
were
waiting
for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking
for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and
security wrapped round her, she felt as
though
someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she
walked right past the man and arrived
home
safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper
that
a young girl had been raped in the same
alley
just
twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the
fact
that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help
this
young woman, she decided to go to the
police
station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she
told
them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to
look
at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the
man
she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified,
he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and
asked if there was anything they could do
for
her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked
her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She
had
two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers
will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe
in
God..

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile. XD!! (browsing profiles)

If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!What a Boyfriend Should Do

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her
When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong
When she ignore's you
Give her your attention
When she pull's away
Pull her back
When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared
Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does
When she misses you
she's hurting inside
When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away
When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her-
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking, Sweet??"
If you post this in the next five minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

even sometimes find myself walking through the mall trying to preform spells in my head. lol. I'm a freak.

True story: I was walking through Bed Bath and Beyond when I felt the urge to make a box of Kleenex float. So I muttered Wingardium Leviosa, and there just so happend to be a employee standing there who looked at me like I had lost my marbles. And unfortunatly...the Kleenex box stayed planted in its original spot... =

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE POST THIS TO YOUR PROFILE!

'Never Argue With A Woman'


One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage afterseveral hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to
read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

FACTS

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. (...no comment)

The average human eats 8 spiders in their life while sleeping. (i'm sooooooooo going to tape my mouth from now on...)

Cockroaches can live 9 days after there heads have been chopped off. (EWWWWWWWWWW)

A melcryptovestimentaphiliac is someone who compulsively steals women's underwear. (Or, for an easier word, pervert)

A mismomania is someone who hates everything.(EMO)

On average, a four year old child will ask 437 questions daily. (I'm very sorry for those of you who have a four year old sibling...you're in my prayers.)

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."


Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


1. I need 2 tell u something, read number 5
2. Are u in a rush? read number 8
3. Are u curious? read number 9
4. Look its the following...u betta read number 15
5. I havent got the guts...just read number 17
6. I would like to tell u..but u should read number 16
7. I'll tell u...but first read number 2
8. Its very simple...just read number 4
9. Dont get nervous..its simple..jus read number 18
10. Not yet...but read number 19
11. Are u gettin tired? relax...just read number 13
12. Like i was sayin...read number 3
13. You're nearly there...read number 20
14. Just dropped by 2 say HI THERE,wassup!! heheehe!
15. Ur getting nervous..just read number 6
16. U still dont get it? just read number 12
17. Oh! im embarassed...read number 7
18. I dunno if u'll understand...just read number 10
19. You are seriously almost there! Just read number 11
20. Wooh! Going closer! Read number 14

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" Can fat people go skinny-dipping? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? So what's the speed of dark? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station... If quitters never win and winners never quit- what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Why is round pizza in a square box? Why do people say that they slept like a baby when babies sleep for only two hours? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? When you eat you have to chew and swallow... does inhailing count?


Ways to make sure you're insane

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk
.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"


Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree


I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you


A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.


Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)

1. Only in
America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do stores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in
America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put
our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a
call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages
of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'

.
10. Only in America...do they have
drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.


Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)


Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Being mature is overated .

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

Whose cruel idea was it to put "S" in the word "Lisp"?


If you have ever threatened to cut someone's head off with a lunchtray, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you kill characters just because you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever talked about your characters like they're real people copy and paste this on your profile.

When the rich wage war, it’s the poor who die.- linkin park, hands held high

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:


1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 10 to come to the movies and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What the fuck can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?


Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

If you think that describes Edward Cullen, copy it into your profile.


Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


“Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You
guessed it. Guess what’s next? You guessed it...”

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Therapist = the/rapist... scary thought.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Tell the truth and run.

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

Set sail in a general that way direction.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there ... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

“Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?”


Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because ‘They’ve seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.’ These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.”
Suicide is Human’s way of saying “You can’t fire me- I quit!”

If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
If ya can’t join ‘em, bribe ‘em.
If ya can’t bribe ‘em, blackmail ‘em.
If ya can’t blackmail ‘em, kill ‘em.
If ya can’t kill ‘em, you’re screwed.


That's some stuff bout me!! (I like PIE!! .)
FYI Im VERY Random!! randomness is fuuuun!

Words start with ABC, Songs start with DO RA ME, Love starts with YOU AND ME.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

If annoyed further, I shall bring death upon you with my lovely cheese grater.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striat WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when for some strange reason your wardrobe scaries you so you have to army roll to your bed from your door. Crazy is hopping to class, and when asked why, you blame it on the bunnies. Even if there were no bunnies. Crazy is when you get into the wrong car when being picked up after school. Crazy is when everytime your throat hurts, you hope you somehow turned into a vampire without knowing it. Crazy is when your friend goes up to a blonde, pale doctor, tells him she knows his secret, and you let yourself get dragged out by security with her, and are still her friend. Crazy is when you have a laugh attack over something that was totally NOT funny. Crazy is when you and your best friend have a fight over a bag of air heads, and then burst the bag open causing the air heads to fly EVERYWHERE! (no lie! I totally did this! ask hrssoccergirl... it was at her house...) If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

I-quotes: 'sing like no one listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no ones watching, live like it's heaven on earth' 'lose your self in the music, the moment, you own it'

Friends: Laugh when you make a joke.

BEST Friends: Stare at you and then start rotfling

Friends: Stare down the cliff when you tell them to jump off

BEST Friends: Grab you then you both jump off the cliff

Friends: Smile at you in the morning

BEST Friends: Walk up in the morning and say, "Dang, what an AMAZING party last night, huh?"

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies AND Edward Cullen)

(my responce) Well I really don't kno- WAIT DID YOU SAY EDWARD CULLEN?!

~If you've every mis-spelled your name (after age 10) copy this onto your profile (hehe...let me try again L-E-A- Look! Edward Cullen!...aw man!)

~If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this! (Yes, yes, very much)

~If you've ever burned a book with a sad ending copy this onto your profile (picks up ashes MEWHAHAHA)

~If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile (O_O)

~If you've ever started singing in a silent room copy this onto your profile

1. You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue

2. Now you're trying this because you're an idiot

3. The first truth is a lie

4. Now you're smiling because you're an idiot

5. You wanna send it to other idiots

6. Then you're thinking: 'No, I'll put it on my profile'

If you ever killed a joke, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have ever looked at something that wasn't there when somebody said "Look its _", copy onto profile.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but three rights make a left.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, and laugh you ass of at all the people who waste their time trying to figure out what you did.

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like liposuction, eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!

Did anyone actually get all the way to the bottom? I have a short attention span. I doubt I could do it.

1.PULL ON A PUSH DOOR

2.TALK BACKWARDS

3.SAY YOUR GOING TO MOW THE CAT AND FEED THE LAWN.

4.SAY RANDOM THINGS.

5.WHEN YOU HEAR YOUR NAME SAY "DUMM DUMM DUMM."

6.GO TO AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT AND ASK FOR SUSHI.

7.TRY TO SPEAK JAPANESE TO A SPANISH PERSON.

8.TRY TO PAY WITH A CREDIT CARD AT MC DONALDS FOR A 1 DOLLAR THING.

9.ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION AND THEN ANSWER IT.

10.RUN AROUND WITH YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN YELLING "IM A TREE STUMP!!"

11.GET MONEY OUT OF AN ATM MACHINE AND YELL "I WON THE LOTTERY!!"

12. ASK FOR DIRECTIONS TO A PLACE YOURE ALREADY AT.

13. TRY TO ORDER PIZZA FROM MC DONALDS

14. GET HIT BY A PARKED CAR.

15. TRY TO WATCH SATURDAY CARTOONS ON A THURSDAY.

16. TRY TO SELL YOUR MONEY.

17. TRY TO PLAY THE ALPHABET ON THE PIANO

18. GET INTO A FIGHT WITH YOURSELF AND LOSE.

19. TRY TO GO SWIMMING WITHOUT GETTING WET.

20. ASK FOR DIET WATER AT A RESTRAINT

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Can crop circles be square?
How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?
Why are there black lines on a basketball?
Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?
If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
If you are parking somewhere and the signs in front of the parked cars say "30 minutes" then when your 30 minutes are up can you park in the spot right next to you??
Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
Can a person choke and die on a life savor?
Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
What happens when you say “hi” to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack?
If you took a compass to outer space would it still point "magnetic north"? Is there still a north, south, east, and west in space?
Why is it illegal to put money in other people's parking meters?
Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?
Do you ever notice those red balls on the wires while your driving? Well what are they for?
Why do people who don’t want to go to hell bury themselves 6 ft. closer?
Why is the St. Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the blue bird?
Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?
If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man?
Why do we have to wait till the water starts boiling before we can put
pasta into the water?
If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
Why are blue Christmas lights so popular? Aren't red and green the
traditional colors?
Why do police officers wear tight clothes and dressy shoes? wouldn't that make them slower when chasing someone?
If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why do birds bob their heads when they walk?
Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
How come wine and hard liquor doesn't come in cans, but beer does?
When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
If people say if you eat dessert before dinner it will ruin your appetite won’t eating dinner before dessert ruin your appetite for dessert?
Why do they call him a Skipper when he just stands there?
Why does "lake" come first (Lake Michigan) and "river" come second (Mississippi River)?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If I raise the volume on my radio, does it use more electricity?
What would happen if: Everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
If you died on the International Dateline, and half of you were on 1 side and the other half on the other side, what day would you die?
~This one's brought to you by my friend Tay~: If a fish doesn't drink water, will it dehydrate


1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you.

9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;

'Because you are my friend'


If you HATE Moliver, copy and paste this into your profile.

Harry Potter’s an enigma.
His forehead bears a peculiar stigma.
Yet there’s a question I’ve often pondered,
a complex query which no puzzle surpasses:
If he’s such a great and powerfull wizard,
then why in the hell does he need those glasses?

Don't you dare click here

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-I used all my sick days, so I called in dead...

-they say "guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, i think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood ther and yelled BANG I dont think you'd kill too many people.

-so, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

-yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet

-save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.

-when Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons?

-when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

-when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

-i called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

-life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over

-smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to

- i talk to myself because my answers are the only ones i accept!

- therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide

-i used to see a shrink... until she said life isnt for everyone

-if asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your butt, why are they named the way they are?

-i live in my own little world. but it's ok, they know me there

-the dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

-your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend

-tell the truth and run

-if electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? (Hehe MORONS! For those of you who didn't figure it out...Go me for pointing out the obvious!)

-you cry, i cry. you laugh, i laugh. you jump off a cliff, i laugh even harder

- I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...

-The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

-When in doubt, make up words!

-Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.

-If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!

-You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it! (My freind lives by this ever since I told her. LOL I call her cool for fun.)

-One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

-Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!

-When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

-A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

-Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

- My nails can cut through human flesh and make it BLEED! AWESOME!!

-Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

-I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

-Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

-There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

-Welcome to the internet, pants optional.

-Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.


-Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

-What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder...

-My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

-Do not take life too seriously; no on gets out alive.

-Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

-WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

-If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.

-A puppie dies everytime someone shipps Harry/Hermione

This is a tribute to all who died fighting Tom Marvolo Riddle Aka: Voldemort and Voldie to his friends.

First off, I must say, Rest in Peace:

James and Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (The True Mauraders) Nymphadora Tonks, Professor Snape, Fred Weasley, Colin Creavy, Dobby, Hedwig, Regulus Black, Charity Burbedge, Mad-Eye Moody, Cedric Diggory, Gregorvitch, Sturgis Podmore, and all the brave souls that were lost to the War against Voldie.

May you all rest in Peace, and Remember you're never forgotten

To James and Lily,
Who died at the beginning,
To Remus and Dora,
Who will never know their son,
To Dumbledore,
Who was as human as Harry,
To Sirius,
who was punished for what he didn't do
To Severus,
who wasn't as bad as we thought,
To the hundreds that died needlessly,
To the many that died 'for the greater good',
To these brave souls I raise my glass,
May they forever Rest In Peace...

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldiemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his butt thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!

She deserved everything she got and more.

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry's actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring

- If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!

-So I was like Avada Kadavra and he was like Dead

- I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

- Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret.

- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar

- I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.

- I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort

- I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape

- I will not scare the Arythmancy students with my calculas book

- Dear Harry, I hate you, Love Voldy

- When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley.

- This icon is off trying to shut Percy in a pyramid.

-Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked infront of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy

-I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the headmasters office

-I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!

-Professer Flitwick's name is not Yoda

-I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class

-If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

-Neville: OMG I killed Harry Potter

(somewhere in the distance)

Voldemort: Nooooo! I wanted to do it! sob

-Draco: I mock you with my spirt fingers!

-I stalked a death eater and all i got was this lousy potions master!

-I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand

-I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing

-I will not follow potions intstructions in reverse order just to see what happens

-I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals

-I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween

-I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton

-Sirius Black

escaped askaban...

evaded death eaters...

outwitted ministry...

killed by drapery.

-I have a lot to live up to you know. There are so many Gryffindors' to tourture, and my minions can't do all the work. That's why I need milk. Because, ferrets with strong bones bounce a lot higher. GOT MILK? ~ Draco Malfoy

If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.

3) Freddie Benson, from iCarly- Seddie. Nuff said.

(singing See You Again by Miley Cyrus) "I've got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim..."

"Hmmmm..."

"What?"

"She sounds like a sniper!"

"Oh no! Miley's gonna kill me!!"

"Shes already killed my interest in her and her career. Maybe she thought it was time for her to move on to bigger things..."

"i love the rain. it makes you feel like everybody else is crying with you."

Ooohh... quote from one of my favorite fanfics... "Love every moment, except for the ones that suck."

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt"- quote from one of the best cartoonists ever, Charles Schulz

If you've ever created an awkward silence, copy and paste this to your profile

If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that Hannah Montana's music would be better off in 2004, when they used to sing advice, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get whacked in the head with a shovel for something they've done, copy and paste this onto your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson

eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you wish more than anything that the Harry Potter world was real, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile

If you're against animal cruelty, copy and paste

If you've made it this far into my profile without dieing yet, copy and post this to yours

If you have read or watched so many things that nothing surprises you anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile

Funniest thing that happened to you today: This one weird girl who's obsessed with horses was running down the halls making horsie noises. 8

PLEASE READ

Ok, so this didn't happen to me, but still read it.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile.

If you suck at video games copy this into your profile.

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

Why I got expelled from Hogwarts (I honestly don't understand half of this xD)

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

Ever notice how you can say "you rock" but not "you rap"?

I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.

Why is rap so named? Becasue the'c' fell off at the printer.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.

The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,'
and the other one said, 'No they look like moose tracks.'

They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

One day this blonde calls her friend and says,
'Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't even figure out how to start it.'

Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?'

The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'

Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table.

He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.

He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.'

She asks, 'Oh, how come?'

He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.'

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a 'scratch and sniff' sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Why don't blondes like making Kool Aide from sachets?
Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the packet.

Did you bear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
They went to see 'Closed for Winter'.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
'Look! They spelled Macy's wrong.'

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home.

A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!'

The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.

The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident.

Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash the blonde ran out onto the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, 'I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a blind policeman!'

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser.

Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.

Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care.

Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to fanfiction.

Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you.

Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striaght WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it."

Crazy is when you get sugar high and jump on your trampoline yelling "Japeth" because the name intrigues you, while your rellies are there.

Crazy is when you laugh so hard that Fanta comes out your nose and then you scream "THE PAIN! THE PAIN OF IT ALL!"

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

If you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

"Real artificial bacon bits" Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go out and buy myself some real-fake bacon bits. Not just fake-fake, real-fake

Christmas lights: To be used for indoor or outdoor use only (as opposed to...?)

If you've ever forgotten the lyrics to a song that 3-year-olds sing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy this onto your profile

Annoying things to do on an elevator: read this!:) very funny!!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher DADA, even though it is the abbrieviation for his/her class.

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

A good friend will help you find your prince, a best friend will kidnapp him and drag him to you.

I WANT A COKE A FRY AND A CHEESEBURGER!!

IF YOU THINK DORA IS EVIL AND A MURDERER, PASTE THIS ON TO YOUR PROFILE.

IF YOU THINK YO GABBA GABBA IS ONE OF THE MOST STUPIDEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF STUPID SHOWS,PASTE THIS ON TO YOUR PROFILE.

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your avice to me was right.The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put " Mommy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, "I love you, Mom!"
So I love you and good-bye.

Don't Drink And Drive. You aren't only putting your life in danger, but someone elses as well.

If you know the Muffin Man, copy this into your profile.

If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copy this into your profile.

If you have strange dreams that never, ever make any sense whatsoever, put this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you like the crazy saying, "has anyone gotton crazy with the mayonnaise?" copy this onto your profile.

If

Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
There was once a girl named Ashley who
had a
boyfriend
named
Jack.

Jack was the most popular guy in school.
The
three most
popular
girls were
Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack
thought of
Ashley as
OKAY,
but
he REALLy
liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also.
Well of
course
she
did, everyone
did!

Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to
steal
Jack away
everytime she had a chance to. One day,
Courtney asked
Jack
if
he wanted
to
go to the movies. Ashley heard
everything...what
movie
theatre
and what
time.

Ashley approached the movies that night
and
followed Jack
and
Courtney.
Ashley sat right behind them. she
watched them
get close
to
each
other and
kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it
on in the
theatre.
Courtney
told jack "Do you want to come to my
place and
skip this
boring
movie?" He
replied "hell yes."

Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
window.
Jack and
her
were

messing
around and Ashley watched the whole
thing.

The next day at school Ashley wasn't
there. For
the next
few
days Ashley
wasn't there. A week later her mother
found her in
her
closet
dead... she
commited suicide because she had loved
Jack so
much.
Next
to
ashley's dead
body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
watched you
at the
movie
and at
Courtney's house and I will continue to
watch you.
I never
thought you
would
do something like this to me. I really
loved you
jack. I
died
for you just
like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Ashley

Please foward this or Ashley will
haunt
you and try
to kill you because she wants everyone to
know
about
Courtney.

Thank you

For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

A NIGHT OUT:after naruto see's sakura and sasuke kissing.kakashi,asuma,anko,gai,iruka and

REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.

From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.

Tom and the Absolution
1997-2008

A great Character and a funny host

You will live on forever in this.

If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32

One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.

Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Rest In Peace, my old friend.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You zone out even with other people.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You're profile is REALLY long.

Your computer runs out of memory.

You can't stop writing!

Your parents take away your computer, and you almost die. Literally.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Put this on your profile if you're an author! :D

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping outof the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on your heart.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

(Whether you're reading this or not, dad, I love you.)

How To Seem Normal
(Whether this is 'normal' or not depends on your point of veiw, of course...)

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public without a scythe.
6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4. Take note of 18 first.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all!
13.For legal purposes be sure to delete/eat/burn above note. (Do not do these things to computer though)
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes. Unless they are mad.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever inhumanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends. Especially if they are from Itex.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket and sunglasses.
21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best for drowning in. Try lemonade.
22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. Pyromania rules.
23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24.Always remember, um... um... Damn. Something.
25.Train army of flying monkeys, or kidnap the flock.
26.Goldfish don't like milk. Cats like both.
27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28.Find out who invented the word "antidisestablishmentarianism".
29.People are staring at you.
30.So act crazy.
31.Lies are weird, but not as weird as the truth. Which can be found at the bottom of a duck pond.
32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth. Very sharp. Oww... nasty teeth, baaaaaaaad...
33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible.
35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36.Never pet a burning dog. Never burn a petting dog. Or do both.
37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38.Naked men dig parkas.
39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40.You know what would look good on you?
41.A meep.
42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless blob.
43.The size of Danny DeVito. Plus fangs.
44.Make an amusing facial expression. Like this. O.o
45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46.Stalking is fun. Do it more. Take a camera.
47.Make a large sign saying, "Bow down in awe of the Holy Winged Splodge". Count how many weird looks you get.
48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49.That way is a sugar high. Alternatively, eat cheese. Then go to sleep
50. Double espressos are good. Apart from when you need to sleep. Then they are bad.
52.You cannot kill the snow.
53.The snow can kill you.
54.Grass can also kill you. Fear the green.
55.The policeman said I can't have his gun... so I bought one and he took it away...
56.Catch person who sold me gun and get a refund. Or kill them. Whichever is better fun.
57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60.You are not a vampire, werewolf, empress, god or anything like that.
61.Pretend to be so around mini people.
62.Do not go out with Voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65.Remember to kill HIM...
66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions.
71.Eat the evidence.
72.But not if it's broken glass.
73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run
74.Do not tell children that the flying spaghetti monster is out to get them with his friend, the flying mutant cheese blob.
75.Disregard last note.
76.Note reactions.
77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78.Stock up on ball point pens.
79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81.Do not stick fingers into blender.
82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83.Blood loss is bad.
84.Find way to re-attach fingers.
85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86.Answer every question with a question.
87.Ask people what time they are from.
88.Note reactions.
89.Refer to people as "mortal".
90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94.Kill them.
95.Brutally. By force-feeding them baked beans.
96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. So give them a copy of your death notes book.
97.Dunk head in boiling water.
98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!
100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

"Hem- hem" -Umbridge (I've stripped her of the professor title)

"Talk about sour grapes," -Angelina Johnson

"I'll join you when hell freezes over. -Dumbeldores Army!" Neville.

"Don't put your wand there boy! What if it ignited? Better wizards have lost buttocks, you know!" -Mad-Eye Moody.

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!

She deserved everything she got and more.

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring.

the thing you just read is propriety of xINFRAxREDx but I agree with it all

If you finished reading HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS and consider it amazing, and to be your favorite book out of all seven, copy and paste this into your profile!

RIP Steve Irwin. Copy and paste this into your profile as a memorium.

If you've ever ran into a lamppost or some tall, metal pole that is blatently obvious copy this into your profile.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem!

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

some endings are just too perfect to write fanfic's for

Describing Seddie

They claim they hate each other.

They bet each other.

They bug the crap out of one another.

One hurts the other physically and verbally.

The other takes the punches or tries to come up with a good come back.

One pranks the other.

The other has surprisingly succeeded in pranking the one back.

One loves food.

The other is disgusted by the one's eating habits.

One loves techy stuff.

The other messes with it to bug the one or hurts the one with it.

One's a straight A student,

The other's a straight D student.

One's a bully.

The other's a dork.

But...

One gave up a cruise for the other so they wouldn't be upset anymore.

The other defended the one when being made fun of for not having their first kiss.

Sometimes they get along.

Sometimes they share looks and smiles.

Once they shared their first kiss.

They've dated and pined after so many other people, yet are still left single.

Each want a companion.

Sometimes they do admit they care for the other.

They love one another.

Not one of them will admit, though,

But deep down they know.

I mean, how else can you say, "I hate you" with a grin plastered on your face?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

iChained by ZBixby reviews
Sam and Freddie have always been bickering. Well what happens when they hurt Mrs. Briggs and are forced to be chained together at the wrist for three months. Will their arguing get better? Seddie! Rated T just in case.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 47,402 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 1/31/2013 - Published: 8/27/2008
Shadowed Malice by Oceanbreeze7 reviews
11 years ago, my 'brother' survived the killing curse. 8 years ago I was given up for adoption. 5 years ago, my orphanage was destroyed in a bloodbath. 4 years ago I found my place at the Dark Lords side. And now, i'm going to Hogwarts, I am Harry Potter
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 59 - Words: 228,285 - Reviews: 2385 - Favs: 2,389 - Follows: 1,634 - Updated: 5/27/2012 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
iFML by Charlie Merrit reviews
Ain't nuthin' but a 'iOMG' thang: A companion piece from Sam's perspective inspired by 'iWTF', with apologies in advance to WhiteKnightro if it bites. If I owned 'iCarly,' I'd tell you, but I don't, so I won't.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,085 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 3/22/2012 - Published: 6/7/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P.
iSwitched by Rolyn reviews
AU What if Freddie and Sam switched places? How would things end up when Sam, the straight A student is asked to tutor the schools heart-throb bad boy known as Freddie Benson? I guarantee things will be crazy. Click this story for Maximum Awesomness ;P
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 39,321 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 11/12/2011 - Published: 3/7/2009 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
One shots set during episodes! by tellmethatyouloveme13 reviews
This was my itake on dingo story. Now it's not. I made it a list of one shots for seddie of all icarly episodes. What did, or should've happened in these episodes. Tell me what episode I should do next when ya review. Thanks for reading!
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,140 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/16/2011 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B.
When Bellatrix meets Hermione once more by whataboutlacey reviews
Set when Hermione and Ron are trying to get to Nagini in the middle part of the Deathly Hallows part 2 film when Bellatrix shows up and something goes down...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 22,966 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 7/31/2011 - Hermione G. - Complete
Russian Roulette by Horrorshow Jane reviews
"One of you is a traitor-or perhaps more than one. Bellatrix." Draco's aunt stepped forward, an excited gleam on her face as she brought from behind her back a Muggle revolver and a single bullet. "The game," she said, "is Russian Roulette."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,187 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/8/2011 - Draco M. - Complete
Sweet Lullabys by Flutter360 reviews
'Friendship dies and true love lies' Not sappy. Seddie. What will Sam's reaction be when she has to put down her beloved Frothy and Carly isn't around? How will Freddie keep her mind off the horrible incident? Dope you like it
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,729 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/24/2011 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Say You, Say Me by TheRisingSon reviews
"He always felt like that around Sam. Like he was falling. The ceiling started to blur and there was a telltale stinging in his eyes. But, like with Carly, he would hit the ground sometime and when he did, he had to get up and walk away." Three shot.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,994 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/20/2011 - Published: 6/17/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P.
Subtle Gift by Springleigh reviews
He had the power to completely break her at any given moment if he wanted to, but she trusted him not to, and he never did. - Just a bunch of fluffy gibberish.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,271 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/8/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
How To Speak Spanish Without Even Trying by Charlie Merrit reviews
My stupid but hopefully amusing little one-shot idea. The explanation for Freddie's random Spanish outbursts accidentally comes to light when Sam is deprived of her beloved Fat Shakes.
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,684 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/8/2011 - Complete
A Seddie Story by TeenageVampyre reviews
Everybody has seen the signs even if they aren't Seddie fans. The way that Freddie always seems to sit next to Sam rather than Carly. But what happens when a secret romance is revealed ? T because i'm paranoid .
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 633 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/7/2011 - Published: 6/1/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P.
Am I? by InsanelyDramatic reviews
A little Seddie one-shot at the Groovy Smoothies. Freddie thinks about his relationship with Sam. Later she asks him a few surprising questions.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,208 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Published: 7/6/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Halloween as the Harry Potter Crew by tellmethatyouloveme13 reviews
Sam and Freddie have a nice Halloween as Draco and Harry I do NOT ship them! I just thought it would be good in um, retrospect? Seddie. Slight Cibby.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
The Compromise by PsychoticAppleSauce reviews
It starts with words, it always does. Then words turn nasty and fights start. Now we find ourselves in the snow, but no words are spoken...for now. T for mild language. Seddie...kinda...
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 846 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/4/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B.
Enigma by bobkitty1123 reviews
When Sam leaves to get ham and Freddie gets ahold of her pearphone, what will he discover? -Seddie-
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,009 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Secret by Ashleybuscus reviews
Carly has a secret, a really, really big one. based on the song Secret by the Pierces. Rated T for murdur, character death and you-know-what-icide. Suicide. Yeah, this story is depressing.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Carly S. - Complete
you grew on me by ifonlysomebodycouldhear reviews
"So, how did it happen?" Carly asked excitedly, eyeing our intertwined hands. I shrugged. "I guess...we just grew on each other." Their thoughts on each other from each episode. Don't get freaked out by the number of chapters, it's short, I promise.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 75 - Words: 3,883 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 6/27/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
please s t a y in my past by KeyLimePie14 reviews
One-shot. "...and i'll be your one regret, if you'll stay in my past." Sam-centric.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,248 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Published: 6/29/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
a threesome is fine, seriously by silent-entrance reviews
"You guys have got to stop introducing me as the girl you two shared." Or, Spencer and Freddie don't mind taking turns.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/29/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iDon't Know Why It Happens by Ireland23 reviews
Cuddling? Since when did Sam let people touch her? And since when was Freddie brave enough to poke an angry bear? Chapter Five uploaded!*warning- Assertive Freddie has entered the building!*
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,813 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 6/29/2011 - Published: 5/28/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P.
Eavesdropping Can be Dangerous by HugsandBugsSmileyface reviews
"Dammit, Sam, it doesn't bend that way, so don't try to bend it! You'll end up hurting us both if it breaks!" Freddie screamed. Mrs. Benson pressed her ear closer and closer to the door. What on earth were they doing? T for sexual innuendo. SEDDIE!
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,079 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Three Words by Writer4Eva reviews
Sam continuously pushes Freddie and trys to break him, and today it worked. Three little words. And now I understood.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 664 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iNotes by BlackBerryTee reviews
This is what I think would happen if Sam and Freddie wrote notes to each other in class after iOMG instead of voice their thoughts aloud in iLostMyMind. Enjoy. BTW, I'm really excited for iLost My Mind! August is TOO FAR AWAY! *oneshot*
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,343 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 34 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Snare by bandgrad2008 reviews
Things have changed since Carly left 5 years ago. Will everything change when she returns? Sam's left to decide. Seddie and Cam
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,104 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Sam P. - Complete
iLost my mind by Arianna4President reviews
My version of one scene of the episode EVERYONE wants to see. Read and review :D
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 398 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Published: 6/27/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Of Cigarettes and Vodka by Desired Dreams-XS8018 reviews
Rated T for language. Quote of the moment - "What happened to the trouble-making blonde headed demon that like giving nerds wedgies?" Freddie's help keeps Sam from spiraling down further into depression fueled by alcohol and cigarettes.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,019 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/26/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iOMG musings by belloftheballinbluejeans reviews
Another highly unoriginal iOMG thingy written at 11:46 PM. Sam's POV as she sits on Carly's couch, musing on that certain Tech wizard everyone keeps talking about lately. Sort of Seddie-ish. Will go on if not boo-ed. Or shunned. : :
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B.
iBelieve We Just Had a Moment by MoonlightSpirit reviews
Takes place during 'iParty With Victorious'. What if Freddie had gone and fought Steven? How could a fight about Carly lead to a moment between Sam and Freddie? Sam realizes that Freddie is no longer the scrawny little nerd that she once knew.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
All At Once by Fairyfights reviews
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her, maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,158 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/25/2011 - Published: 6/8/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iHate the Heartache by Angelic Guardian reviews
He could see the tremendous pain in her eyes, and his heart was sinking, because then, right at that very moment, he just knew. Oneshot.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,782 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iLost My Mind my speculation by Poetic.blue reviews
My speculation and hope for what will happen in iLMM. Seddie. : RR
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,004 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P.
This Is Letting Go by White Firebird reviews
'You asked why, and I said I don't know why, I just know...'
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,912 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Three Reasons by Cukeygirl reviews
A conversation almost causes a break up. set after iLMM SEDDIE!
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,102 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/23/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Cosmic Insanity by Ashlee Seddie reviews
"Do you remember, about before? About you and me?" He was outraged – they couldn't introduce her back into his world and just snatch her up seconds later. She was his only sliver of sanity. Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/17/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iLocket by Angelic Guardian reviews
"Whatever you say, Sam." Sam grinned. "That's right, Fredweirdo. Whatever I say." Hmm…does that sound slightly familiar to you at all? Oneshot.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,637 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 14 - Published: 6/17/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
as more than a best friend by Rhiabrey Skye reviews
because about the tenth time he said it to her, it had been on her birthday and she had looked up into his eyes and everything suddenly changed. / oneshot
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,840 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/17/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iWaited by HeyBulldogProductions reviews
It takes two to go to war, one to fall in love... Or it only takes one to grab the other by the shoulders in mid-sentence, kiss them, go to a mental institution, and yell 'Bazinga' before the other finally falls with them...or maybe that's just us.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,257 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/16/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iLost My Mind by doxengirl reviews
Freddie blinked twice as Sam pulled away from the kiss that she had just forced upon him. In shock pierced his lips and struggled to find the words to respond to the action that Sam Puckett, his tormentor, had just inflicted upon him. But luckily for
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,409 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/16/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P.
Whatever You Say by Beautifuldeath92 reviews
"Your cute when you're jealous."..."What kind of crap is that? I wasn't jealous. Protective maybe, but not jealous." Seddie love, with a tad bit of jealousy. Warning: ONE bad word.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 592 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/12/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
In Memoriam by ArrowRox reviews
In Memoriam: In memory of. Angsty, Seddie. T for dark and a few references. No clue where this came from.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,169 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/11/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
damned if I do ya', damed if I don't by Rhiabrey Skye reviews
/ In which Sam and Freddie decide being together is the only way to show they love each other. oneshot
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,097 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/11/2011 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
SEDDIE ONESHOTS by Margot is me reviews
These are both oneshots where Sam and Freddie are dating. In the first one Sam is ticklish.In the second one Freddie's mom finds out they are dating.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,016 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/11/2011 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
The Boyfriends' Guide To Chair by The Very Last Valkyrie reviews
In a vain attempt at a birthday present, I attempt to make Chuck and Blair user friendly for even the most teen drama fearing among us. Failing that, it's also good for a laugh and contains someone named Audrey Creamhorn.
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 854 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/11/2011 - Chuck, Blair - Complete
Letting Go by LaurenStories reviews
Chuck and Blair - 4x18-22 - Their story for the end of season 4 according to spoilers. "I can't let you go now. If I let you go now, it's over, you're gonna marry someone else and we'll be over. I can't let you do that Blair." "Fight for me then." Ones
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,163 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/28/2011 - Blair, Chuck - Complete
The way we Love by garragrl reviews
Story about Chuck and Blair going along with the song "the way you lie" by eminem. Better than it sounds.
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,231 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/12/2011 - Blair, Chuck - Complete
Why is My Life a Secret? by alexlovesgerard93 reviews
FIRST EVER SLAT PARODY! A spoof of the romance drama that airs ABC Family every Monday night at eight. The show is lovable and cute, but incredibly cliche. I spoof that! If you're fans of the show, don't view this as an insult, cause I'm a fan too!
Secret Life of the American Teenager - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 13,960 - Reviews: 209 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 8/31/2008
Maple Leaves and Raven Feathers by DDVZ reviews
pending2! Freddie's Sunk. A shell of himself. She would never feel the same way, right? Well she did agree to skip school and spend the day with him...maybe there is hope... Seddie Ch5 done! M for dark topics, violence, and intimate relations etc. HIATUS!
iCarly - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,103 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P.
Rooftop by WhatsNew reviews
A short&sweet One-shot. Sam and Freddie share a moment on the Roof of Bushwell Plaza. Loosly based on the notebook and Let it go-Mitchel Musso and Tiffany Thorton
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 746 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Updated: 7/8/2009 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Rain by Catalina Day reviews
FOURTH story up! --In which Sam has very strange dreams. Strange, but not necessarily bad.-- Slight AU, pre-Seddie, series of vignettes aka: one-shots .
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,194 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B.
Just To Get It Over With by shybabe reviews
Sam and Freddie share their feelings after the kiss. Alternating POV's. Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,790 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 5/27/2009 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Sam P., Freddie B.
What Matters by Aerial312 reviews
Alice and Jasper watch the video James has made.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,249 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Only His Princess by His1Princess reviews
DXC; after breaking up after TDI and leaving, Duncan shows up at Courtney's doorstep. rated M just in case.
Total Drama series - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 29,571 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 5/11/2009 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Courtney, Duncan - Complete
as if he never existedand throwing projectiles by bloom00011
edward left bla bla bla you know the drill
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,139 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/8/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Cullens Meet A Genie On A Boring Yet Normal Da by TheTwilightPixie reviews
This is a funni story.. please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 955 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Complete
iThink Mom Knows by xbxspac3 reviews
Read to find out. SEDDIE. R & R!
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,429 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/10/2009 - Published: 1/27/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P.
How Do I live without you? by AllTimeLow23 reviews
What would have happened if Victoria had gotten past the wolves and to Bella on the same night that Alice showed up at her house? Will they be okay? Or will an angel fall? One-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,935 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Crazier by AllTimeLow23 reviews
Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle get a look into Alice and Jasper's relationship.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,632 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/2/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
iNeed Him by SeddieIsTheShizz reviews
Yes, that's right, she needed him. More than he could possibly know. One-shot. Sam is hurting. Rated T for mentioned rape.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,332 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Leaving Las VegasAlone by luna moody reviews
SunnyRose threw down the Challenge and I rose to the occasion I hope . How exactly did Freddie know about Sam's I Heart Las Vegas underwear? One-shot Freddie's POV.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,924 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iLOL by iPepsi reviews
Carly gets more dates than Spencer? Not so comforting for Daddy Dearest. It's time for a special talk. Can Spencer handle it? Too bad he has to embarrass himself AND get the biggest shock of his life all in one night.
iCarly - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,842 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/24/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Complete
Ouch by iAshlee reviews
It's basically Loliver. There aren't any Lolivers anymore. It's mainly Liley. : CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM ALLOWED. I'm a new writer by the way, so I don't know all the ropes.
Hannah Montana - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 593 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Lilly T./Lola L., Oliver O./ Mike S. III
Freddie's Kisses by MoreLikeYourGhost reviews
A series of oneshots all about what Freddie's kisses do to Sam. Last Chapter up - Sam's Promise. SEDDIE
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,183 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/14/2009 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Thunder storm by Maped13 reviews
An all dialogue story. Diana is afraid of thunderstorms and runs to Martin for safety! My first Martin Mystery fanfic!
Martin Mystery - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 134 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/14/2009
Fredward Cullen by Whitewash893 reviews
Sam loves her boyfriend Freddie, she also loves Twilight... well Edward. Sam tries to combine her loves... Maybe thats not such a good idea... Completly pointless drabble, if like 20 chapters of well plotted twists and turns... yeah, not your thing... ;
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 617 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Unforgotten by Whitewash893 reviews
It's been ten years since Sam died, but she proved to be simply unforgetable. It's kind of sad and I tried to write a different style than I normaly do.
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 324 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Little Wonders by swimfin77 reviews
It's the little things that make the biggest difference...
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,569 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/10/2009 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Call It Insanity by iPepsi reviews
There's just no other name for it. One-Shot. Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 788 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iLove Windows by Fictions of Legends reviews
Carly, Freddie, and Sam, now in college live together in a small apartment. Oh no…Freddie and Sam live together? What chaos will ensue? Based off of the music video for the song, “My Life Would Suck Without You” by Kelly Clarkson.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,990 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 55 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
A day in the park by Whitewash893 reviews
Can three words ruin a friendship? what if those words word are 'I love you? my 4th drabble R&R
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Force of Attraction by Archilochus reviews
After the kiss, Freddie just wanted things to go back to the way they were. Sadly, this is not the case. Watch out Freddie; Sam's not like most girls, especially when she's in love!
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,274 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Strange New Feelings by ValSilph reviews
He saw it in her eyes as well--- it wasn’t just him. She too, was feeling awkward, full of new feelings. Takes place roughly a few years after DoD
City of Ember - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,627 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Complete
iGet Kidnapped: An iCarly & True Jackson VP Xover by xxCastleFanxx reviews
In need of a celebrity for a fashion show, True gets the girls from iCarly. However True,Ryan,Lulu&Carly are kidnapped by men robbing Mad Style's money vault. Nobody sees it. Spencer, Freddie, and Sam go to the police. Seddie,Rylu M for Language
iCarly - Rated: M - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,517 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/28/2009 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Carly S.
Spencers new car by MoreLikeYourGhost reviews
SEDDIE. Spencers new car is hot, but the backseat is tiny. What happens when two teens who hate eachother have to sit in there together? Seddie, that's what happens.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,354 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
After All This Time! by Damon'sHumanity reviews
JessicaxMike! AU-ish one-shot! full summary inside R&R! Rated T for mild cursing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 952 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Jessica, Mike - Complete
Cut'e' by SquishyCool reviews
Songfic: Based on "Cute Without The 'E'" by Taking Back Sunday: Freddie knows exactly what's going on, but he can only blind himself for so long. Seddie/Spam
iCarly - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,630 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/12/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Some Seddie Songfics by doubletime twins reviews
mostly seddie songfics to love story, our song, face down, thunder, runaway it clumped them all in paragraphs idk why but it did so its not are fault that there in big paragraphs
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,288 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/26/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Ioverheard by doubletime twins reviews
seddie freddie over hears somthing oneshot yada yada i cant come up with a very good summery so just read it and i edited it and so it now makes sense.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 316 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/26/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Ithink, I'm Wondering by doubletime twins reviews
seddie oneshot who knew a car ride could help you relise something big.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iLove My Revenge by lysapot reviews
I bring thou to you another Seddie drabble! X3 Sequel to my other drabble, ILove Strawberry Ice Cream.. Sam is on revenge mode, will she get her *coughcough* tasting revenge on Freddie? Read and find out.. Cough Cough.. :P
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 848 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/22/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
blue Rose by zaria z reviews
Freddie and Sam are sort of friends, thing get interesting in the later chapters.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 915 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/21/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P.
iband by Whitewash893 reviews
This is my second fanficton... this just jumped into my head... while i was asleep... it was a dream... Any who, Carly, Freddie and Sam start a band! it has songs, it's a Seddie, it's awesome, what else do you need to know R&R
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,424 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/21/2008 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B.
ilove u by samxfreddieice reviews
The abused Sam Puckett finally finds a way to reveal her crush on Freddie Benson, but when Freddie keeps hiding his crush on her by showing his love for Carly and really hurts Sam... Sam runs away and Freddie has to stop her. x3 TOTALLY SEDDIE!
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,588 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/21/2008 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B.
iDoubt it by The Lunar Rainbow reviews
Freddie bets Sam she can't dress like a girl. She takes him up on his bet. Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,649 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/21/2008 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iHate Autumn, well, actually, by MoreLikeYourGhost reviews
Sam has always hated Autumn. Until one evening she encounters a certain someone in the park. Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 902 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/21/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Dear Samantha, by xxdeadnotsleepingxx reviews
Dear Samantha, This needed to be told...
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 10/21/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Carly's Proposal by primallynx reviews
Carly knows that Sam and Freddie belong together. Finally, she decides to take matters into her own hands.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,901 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/21/2008 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P.
iLove Strawberry Ice Cream by lysapot reviews
Senseless drabble featuring Seddie..: Strawberry ice cream could make you do weird weird things.. : Enjoy.. :
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 636 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
True Friends by Nature9000 reviews
When Sam and Freddie fail to visit Carly, she starts to worry and calls their friends. Then two of their best friends inform her that there are some actions of hers that are questionable. Her friendship comes into question, is she really a true friend?
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,676 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Never hate by grangertash reviews
Sam pushes Freddie to the edge. Slightly Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Faulty by LaPaige reviews
Freddie and Carly were meant to be the two smartest people in school. Maybe they were just too caught up in each other to notice. One-sided Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 484 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/15/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Handstands by MoreLikeYourGhost reviews
I tried to do handstands for you, yeah, I tried to do handstands for you. Everytime I fell on you, yeah, everytime I fall for you. I'm permanantly black and blue for you. Seddie oneshot. Songfic to Bruises.
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 770 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 19 - Published: 10/14/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Understand by Aergonaut reviews
Sometimes it's better if you don't understand.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
The Kissing Booth by Nature9000 reviews
Freddie writes his reaction to his actions toward Sam, and what happened after Shane came in the picture and after the events at the kissing booth.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,053 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iWake Up Freddie by PamplemousseRose reviews
Sure, you're in denial, but some part of you knows that he's just as important to you as Carly. He's that anchor you've chosen to somewhat trust. / Seddie ONESHOT
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,740 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Torture by Nature9000 reviews
Sam struggles with her desire to ask Freddie on a date. When it is revealed to someone trying to court her that she wants Freddie, that person abducts him with the intent to torture and kill him. Sam must fight to save Freddie's life.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,592 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 18 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Tragic Day by Nature9000 reviews
Sam's father dies when she's very young and a friend is there to offer her comfort. Years later, this friend loses their father on the same day, and contemplates death. Can Sam comfort her friend, knowing they share the same experience?
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,812 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/11/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iAm Not Jealous by Multi-Shipper Girl reviews
ONE-SHOT - Songfic-SamxFreddiexCarly: Sam doesn't like Freddie. She really doesn't! If she doesn't, why does she feel jealous that Carly and Freddie are finally going out?
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,377 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Published: 9/5/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
The Beast Within by Nature9000 reviews
When there is love between a Beast and an Angel, and a friendship with a Slayer, it means danger for the beast. The beast within must be subdued, but can it be subdued before the slayers find out and destroy him.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 72,347 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/2/2008 - Published: 5/30/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Seddie Past by PigSlay reviews
Sam and Freddie once again think about the reason she hates him. After that, he comes to her house to say something. Seddie obviously.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 765 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iPick on Freddie by Catalina Day reviews
Sam picks on Freddie for many different reasons, most of which are there only to drown out the one that really counts. --Hints of abuse, slight AU, Angst up the arse as always .--
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Reunited by Nature9000 reviews
One day of the year, Sam spends it with Freddie's family. He finally inquires about it once he sees something interesting to him, and his father tells him about when Sam was separated from her parents.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,315 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
1000 miles by ktbug22135 reviews
Lilly will walk a 1000 miles just to see Oliver...but will it be enought? my first oneshot and its a songfic LOLIVER
Hannah Montana - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,012 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Lilly T./Lola L., Oliver O./ Mike S. III - Complete
You're Welcome by just drifting reviews
“Thankyou,” I whispered. “For what?” she turned her head towards me. “Eternity.” She leaned forward and closed the miniscule space between us to capture my lips. “You’re welcome.” How did Emmett and Rosalie really become a couple? This is my version
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,086 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Emmett, Rosalie - Complete
iAm Stranded by pdyc reviews
On their way to a trip to Japan, Freddie, Sam and Carly crash on a deserted island! They soon find out that they’re not the only ones stranded. An iCarly/ Flight 29 Down cross-over. Seddie! Carly/OC
Crossover - Flight 29 Down & iCarly - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 48,364 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Freddie B. - Complete
iRemember by nleslie reviews
Sam questions whether this decision is right- she's been gifted with the chance to choose her own future. So what, or rather who, does she pick? // I submitted this at 12 pm so please keep that in mind! Very loosely based on SATC. Absolute Seddie!
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,241 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
i Like You Like, A lot by Silent Angel 1291 reviews
Freddie picked a bad time for a love confession. Everybody knows Thursday is Sam’s TV night. Seddie, obviously. First iCarly fanfic. Oneshot.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,441 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iLesbian by JunkieSuiBunny reviews
Sam has something she has to get off her chest... Rated M for later chapters.
iCarly - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 421 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/1/2008
iPonder by Her Name Is Erika reviews
Freddie finds himself pondering about not Carly, but Sam. He’ll keep the camera panned on Carly because he can’t risk loving Sam. It's too scary. Seddie. Oneshot.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 579 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 33 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iHaunted House by xxCastleFanxx reviews
Spencer, Carly, Freddie, and Sam go to a Haunted House set up by Gibby. What is meant to be a fun night soon turns to horror as the gang are split up and things seem more real then they should. Story goes back in forth between Carly/Spencer & Sam/Freddie
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 18,748 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iHave to Date you? by freddiebenson reviews
Freddie gets a date. The date is a person who freddie thinks he would never date. but he does date her. better then it sounds.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,351 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P.
Sunday Mornings by nleslie reviews
Sam and Freddie play out a typical Sunday morning. Short, fluffy oneshot. R&R! SEDDIE.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,993 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iWin A Dork by ColorsOfTheSky101 reviews
Carly is in no mood to date Gibby. See what happens when she asks her friends for help. Seddie Oneshot.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,087 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iReally Looked at You by freddiebenson reviews
Freddie's birthday is just around the corner. Then, why is Carly acting so rude? Why does it seem like she's bullying Sam? And why does Spencer seem so depressed? my 1st fic, so be kind.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 4,045 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/24/2008 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P.
iCarly's Bickering Duo by ColorsOfTheSky101 reviews
A Song tribute to our favorite bickering duo. I was tagged:P.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,596 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/22/2008 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iMeant It All by ColorsOfTheSky101 reviews
Freddie’s tired of Sam always picking on him, so instead of fighting back, he tries a different approach. Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,815 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
The Babysitter Killer by Nature9000 reviews
Sam is punished for punching Gibby in the face, though it was hardly her fault, she is made to babysit two kids rather than go to a party with her friends. A quiet night soon turns to terror when she starts receiving strange calls, will she survive?
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,852 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/26/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iSam by ColorsOfTheSky101 reviews
Sam’s finally had it with Freddie, as Freddie’s finally had it with Sam. She starts her own webshow and ends up in detention. Find out how.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,417 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 5/22/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Seddie Game by Nature9000 reviews
I was tagged, so here you go. This is a multitude of songfic oneshots put together for Seddie, read it and enjoy it, I wrote it for your enjoyment.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,887 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/23/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Terror at the School by Nature9000 reviews
A day at school for Sam begins like usual, only Freddie and Carly are not there. Nothing out of the ordinary happens until Gibby finally snaps. Soon, all hell breaks loose and Sam's the target, will she make it out alive?
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,962 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iTs my first time by love.me.do.x3 reviews
sam loves carly. Cam! brenson! Frencer!
iCarly - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,221 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
The Call For Help by Nature9000 reviews
At twenty three, Freddie's best friend says he should think of something other than Sam, who he lost contact with and convinces him to go to the brothel that's been calling him for two years. Only soon, he finds it was a cry for help from an old friend.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,153 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Goodbye by DDVZ reviews
Oneshot. Seddie. Freddie's last day of his junior year in highschool...M for explicit gore and adult subjects...written in celebration of my first 2,000 hit story: pending!
iCarly - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,994 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Complete
To Date Her by Nature9000 reviews
Freddie and Sam are ready for their first date, Freddie must interview with Sam's dad. The only trouble is her father's unorthodox way of interviewing, How will Freddie hold out while talking with the father. R&R
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,573 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iCan't by ColorsOfTheSky101 reviews
A segment on iCarly involving baseballs takes a tragic turn; Sam is blinded. Now, there’s only one person who can get through to her. Implied Seddie. Requested by Boris Yeltsin.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,795 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 11 - Published: 5/17/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
iThought It Was Only Ours by ColorsOfTheSky101 reviews
The ‘Wake Up Spencer’ segments were always their thing, until one night when Freddie invites Carly to join in. Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,439 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/16/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8290 - Favs: 7,406 - Follows: 1,693 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
iMission Boogie by hyperactivecheskie reviews
Sam stays late at Carly's place to complete a mission. When someone walks in unexpectedly, he decides she's too clueless and gives her a hand. Freddie/Sam friendship/romance
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,591 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/10/2008 - Published: 4/21/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Seddie Bridge by Nature9000 reviews
Sam and Freddie meet up once more at the place they first met, memories are shared and words exchanged. This bridge means a lot to them, but can it mean more than just what meets the eye? R&R
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,475 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/5/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Song of Love by Nature9000 reviews
After college, there is one final viewing of iCarly before the trio go their separate ways. Freddie has one more chance to tell Sam how he really feels, but can he not mess up this time? R&R
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,431 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 34 - Published: 4/27/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Our Childhood Daze by Zovid reviews
Oliver and Lilly tell Miley about their childhood together. Read about thier good times and their bad times. Find about how they first met and read about their first day of school and their first fight.
Hannah Montana - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,284 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 4/3/2008 - Published: 6/26/2006 - Complete
iWant to ask you a question by grangertash reviews
There's a new segment on iCarly. Viewers phone in to ask random questions. Can this make 2 bickering friends realize something? Seddie.One-shot
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,215 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iDareYou by Carlyyy reviews
Truth and Dare by the iCarly viewers? What will they say?Who likes Freddie? Freddie likes who? Seddie! Freddie's POV! Rated T just in case. OneShot!
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,408 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/2/2008 - Complete
On The First Day Of Christmas by JustOneBreath reviews
My true love gave to me... One shot. Seddie. Part of the 12 Days of Christmas series.
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/14/2007 - Complete
Our Time Now by Alice in NeverWonderland reviews
OneShot of the how the episode, iRue The Day, should have gone. REALLY CHEESY and most are out of character a little. Seddie for sure.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 888 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 23 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Complete
iHate Mistletoe Clichés by Jesus.Lives reviews
A Seddie Christmas story for y'all. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 610 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/8/2007 - Complete
iJust Saw Freddie Naked by Jesus.Lives reviews
What happens when Sam just happens to catch Freddie in the shower? CHAP 16. The end. So SEDDIE it hurts.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 6,632 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 12/5/2007 - Published: 11/23/2007 - Complete
Long Battle, Will It Ever End? by envythorn93 reviews
Carly plans video segments for her website show but the problem Sam and Freddie always disagree. UPDATED: CH 3 Someone is missing! Oh no.
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,435 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/3/2007 - Published: 10/12/2007
iDon't Know by Centaur3 reviews
Freddie is on his first date with Carly! But what will happen when his feelings change?
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,132 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/1/2007
iHave Girl Issues by corybelle reviews
[Future Fic] Freddie's son asks him for some girl advice. And finds out more than he bargined for. [TWO SHOT
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,644 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/21/2007 - Published: 11/20/2007
The Car Wreck That Runined Her Life by Cheetahsr4lyfe reviews
It's about carly,sam and spencer getting into a car wreck and carly has some bad news about her...
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 272 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/14/2007
iAmNotGraduating by littlegamer725 reviews
Carly, Sam, and Freddy are 7 days away from graduation, until they find out that will not be graduating. Tantataaaaaa!
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/10/2007
Comfort by Farfallama reviews
Freddie's job is to comfor the seemingly invincible Sam Puckette that can't seem to stop crying. Set some time in iWanna Stay With Spencer. Total Seddie.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 821 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/4/2007 - Complete
iLove My New High School by Ulrich22 reviews
Carly, Sam and Freddie are now going into High School. Freddie is much taller and good looking, Sam lost her whole bad girl look and someone else has caught Carly's eye, Nick
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 856 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/30/2007
iThink the show is Over by Maddie170 reviews
Carly is so tired of sam and Freddie argiung along with the incident that went down. She comes to a almost full conclusion. CHAPTER TWO HAS ARRIVED PLEASE GO READ IT.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 965 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/23/2007 - Published: 10/16/2007
Stuck in the Elevator With You by shanacus reviews
Sreddie Oneshot. Carly is sick of Sam and Freddie's constant bickering, and decided to put an end to it. After all elevators are known to bring out the truth.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 748 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/12/2007 - Complete
What Took So Long? by California-Italian reviews
Freddie goes over to Sam's when he needs an iCarly video clip...what will happen? R&R PLEASE! seddie cause i'm bored like that and i get way too many dares. yay, i get to be the 20th story!...well i was but people updated their stories.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 452 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/9/2007 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Help From Spencer by somethingborrowed3 reviews
In a new segment of Wake Up Spencer, Spencer unknowingly asks something that just might make Sam and Freddie's minds click. Seddie fic.
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 388 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/7/2007 - Complete
Popcorn by Zovid reviews
Freddie and Sam sleep over Carly's place ONESHOT Drabble
iCarly - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/6/2007 - Complete
iAm Just a Friend by liler91 reviews
Freddie agrees with Carly, yet again. [sred]
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,426 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/4/2007 - Published: 9/29/2007
The Story of Two Sidekicks by somethingborrowed3 reviews
FreddiexSam or Seddie. One night, two clueless teenagers share an accidental kiss. What happens when this kiss finally reveals something that's been hiding for a long time?
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 860 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/29/2007 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Complete
iWill Never Love You by corybelle reviews
Freddie always thought he love Carly, but what happens when he falls for a certain blonde?
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,839 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 9/22/2007
A 6teen Parody by Aginor27 reviews
THis is a parody, it is NOT SUPPOSED To make sense. It's just some random dialogue, showing how the show stereotypes teenagers.
6teen - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 810 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/18/2007 - Complete
Emmett's Nuts by Amiiix3 reviews
Rosalie takes Emmett's jar of nuts and now he won't stop bothering everyone until he gets it back. Purely Humor with a side serving of Insanity. BeWarned: use of the word 'shut up'.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,164 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/24/2006 - Emmett, Rosalie - Complete
Where Have All The Children Gone? by Aciliveth reviews
One was sentenced to life in prison without parole. Somebody else committed suicide. Another died in a horrible “accident”. One had to be sent to rehab. The final friend became more attached to alcohol then their friends.
6teen - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,841 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/12/2006 - Published: 7/8/2006
Harry's Ron by SERIUSLYidiotic reviews
It has always been Harry and Ron.Best friends.but now Ron and Hermione are dating and Harry is jealous. Are his feelings for Ron more than just friendly feelings?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,519 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/3/2006 - Published: 2/11/2006 - Harry P., Ron W.
Not a Good Pet Name by James Bow reviews
Ron and Hermione may be dating, but even sweet nothings can be fighting words...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 734 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/30/2001 - Ron W., Hermione G.
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