Author has written 14 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.
I'm a 16 year old girl (And I am powering my youth!)
I love watching old episodes of Seinfeld and I love Lucy
I can cuss like no other but try to keep it out of my stories for some off reason
I don't care what other people think of me
and my favorite couples are Ron/Hermione and Alice/Jasper.
I love animals
I wanna be an author or a vet one day
annnnd finally... I enjoy dying my hair all colors of the rainbow! Currently, it is blue/black/purple/pink/blond and I love it (:
Important Author's note
No person who ever has an eating disorder can say they will live the rest of their lives eating disorder free. For some, they relapse only once or twice. Others will spend decades in and out of eating disorder clinics before they are killed by their disorder.
My own case has always been a very chronic one - the younger you start, the more likely you are to get hooked. I started when I was eight years old. I relapsed three times before this summer, when I started my eating disorder twilight story. Ten days after it was first posted, I slipped once again.
Bulimia- the disorder I have spent the most time with - is caused most often by chemical imbalances in the brain. Constant purging makes the imbalancedfar worse than it was, causing either depression or bipolar disorder. Over 80 percent of bulimics have one of these along with their disorder, and I was one of this number.
My family does not have health insurance, and eating disorder treatment is extremely expensive. My parents and I have made the decision for me to try help-sites before seeing of enrolling in a treatment program.
My body, my mind, my orders is on hold for an unknown amount of time. I could be writing again in two weeks - it could take longer than a year for me to get back to it. The only thing I can say for sure is that it WILL be finished. Ever since I ended my first time with an eating disorder, I knew that I wanted to help other girls with eating disorders, and I still do plan on doing this.
My offer of giving help in any way I can to anyone who needs it stands.
IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A BRAND NEW DAY / THE COLOR ORANGE
They are currently being edited and brought up a notch. They will both be back in a few weeks better than ever, and ready for the public's eye! until then, I am very sorry for any sadness/computer bashing this tragedy has brought upon you.
If you have any questions about eating disorders, are dealing with an eating disorder and just need some one to talk to, have a suffering friend, or just want to know more; feel free to PM me with any thing you want to know, I'm more than willing to talk all you want.
The periwinkle ribbon is eating disorder awareness. Eating disorders can be easily prevented if awareness is started early in a child's life, and by wearing the ribbon on a bracelet, necklace, or any thing you want, and by saying what it means, you may be saving the life of a little girl who hates her body. Please take the time to do this, you never know how many lifess you may save.
Warning signs of eating disorders! (please read this, you never know if one of your friends may be suffering. If not from a close friend of mine knowing the signs, I have no doubt I would still be in that mess.)
You notice that they know the calorie count in small things, and count them down to the very last bite. Take celery. They will know how many calories are in a stalk, one cup, one tenth of a stalk, on and on.
They spend a lot of time in the bathroom after eating, usually turing the water on right away, or coughing a lot while in there. Unlike the myth, self induced vomiting doesn't make you gag hardly at all. When I would purge, I would only cough a couple times, if I made any noise at all.
They spend a lot of time working out, and do so every day. You notice they insist on doing 500 push ups at a sleep over, or randomly start running around the house when you are hanging out.
They start to lose a lot of weight. This one is tricky, because bulimics are often a normal weight, or even slightly over weight. Anorexics can still be in danger, even if they are not skinny. Few anorexics make it to the level you see most often in news shows. I see it like when they show massive damage from a rainstorm, it does not mean that is how all rainstorms are, and yet they can be that way.
They have puffed up cheeks. This is from constant purging, and is actually pretty noticeable. It also means they really need help, because the acids are harming their insides to the point where you don't have to go in to see the damage.
They have red or orange fingers, caused by purging. Acids eat away at the flesh, and leave the horrible marks. If they use a toothbrush or some thing (I went as far as to use a fork one time to avoid using my fingers) it will be harder to tell.
They never eat in front of you, yet are not skinny. This is because a bulimic will only binge in private, away from any one's eyes. They will go to four different stores if they are buying food for a binge, so no one at the check out can guess, and they will replace any food if they eat what they have at home. They will wait until everyone is asleep, and they will close all the blinds so no one outside can see walking by. Binges are always top secret.
They will only eat one colored food a day, or only a few different kinds of foods. Most people with eating disorders will not eat food groups such as meat, or grains. Many others fallow a diet that has them eat yellow foods one day, red another, and so on, with one day of fasting. This diet adds up to about 120 calories a day (not counting the day of fasting).
They take hits on their body. Never wanting to wear shorts or any thing that will show their body, even in the middle of summer. They always call themselves fat, even if they are not. You have to remember that when they look at themselves, they add a good 30-50 pounds, so they really do believe that they are fat! Trying to talk them out of it will only make things worse.
They are always cold. Having no body fat will do this to you, much like a bear who eats nothing before the winter. No food is no fat, no fat is no body heat. If they have starved away all their fat, the body is too busy trying not to starve to deal with some thing like warmth. I see it like the body being on high alert, everyone scrambling around trying to figure out how to stay alive. Heat always slips by.
They get a fine hair all over their body. This is a type of hair we have in the womb, and shed in a matter of months. Most will never see it again, unless you are starving. Then it will start to grow back, and often slips by most people, it is so fine.
They get tired, are not as balanced, and plain simple are not themselves. They always seem sick, fall asleep in class, need help standing up and stumble, if they are usually bubbly and happy and suddenly act short tempered and upset, these are all signs that a person is in danger.
There is no way to tell for sure if a person has an eating disorder just by watching them. Each case is unique, and the person themself might not even know they have a problem. A person who eats normally but runs 20 miles a day is anorexic because they are not eating enough to support their activity. A person who binges but fasts afterward is bulimic, because they are still trying to prevent weight gain from a binge. The best you can do is find the signs, and talk to them. Don't take their word just because they say they are fine. Lying is second nature.
Tips for talking to a friend about an eating disorder you think they have.
Plan what you are going to say. Think of every thing they could fire back at you, and come up with an answer for it. You won't have time to think at all, so you really have to have it down cold before you go in.
Fine the right time. Don't call them late at night or early in the morning just because you couldn't get the courage up any other time. You have to plan it out, and stick to the plan at all times.
Wait until they are in the right mood. Not when they are too sad, happy, mad, or upset. When you notice they are in a very natural mood that you feel comfortabe talking to them in, you can go for it. Emotion can make things better or worse, it's best to make sure it is on your side.
Tell them the facts. Tell them what you have noticed, and that it is worrying you. Many times, the person wil not even know they have a problem, while they clearly do. I talked to one girl at a support group who didn't even notice when she was only eating 300 calories a day (at the most). She honestly thought she was eating normally.
Tell them you care! I can not say this enough. Some times all you have to do is look them in the eyes and tell them you love them. People with EDs have no self love, and think that no one else loves them either. Hearing those words can make them see some thing they are doing is wrong.
Offer to help them. Say you will help them find a doctor, or bring the number for the eating disorder hotline number (847-831-3438) and sit there while they talk. They will need the support, trust me.
Be active in their recovery. Go to a support group with them, offer to drive them to their doctors appointment, any thing that will show them that you really want them to get better, and that you are not going to leave them because they have this problem.
And when it's all over, just sit them down and say some thing along the lines of: "You are my friend and I don't want to lose you. Please do this for me." Many people have turned off the feeling of guilt, so this will be hard. Say it like you mean it, make it get in their heads
If YOU have an eating disorder, and do not know how to get help.
If you are not ready for any one you know to be in the know, call a hotline number (847-831-3438) they will literally talk to you for hours and hours, and every time you call, you can ask for the same person. They will spend days, weeks, even months, and countless hours making sure that you are okay. They will make you feel like you are the first person they ever talked to that had an eating disorder, not the 100th. This is the best way to get help, but it is not the only one.
Join a support forum. My favorite one is all the people there are going through the same stuff you are, and most of the admins are recovered anorexics and bulimics. They can do good for you what pro ana and mia sites can do bad. The power of hearing some one say "I know how you feel," and know that they REALLY TRULY do know is amazing. Not only that, but they share your struggles. A poll done on the link posted for recoveryfriends shows that more than 60 of the members have regrets about going to recovery, so there are plently of people there to talk to when you just have to say "It is so hard!"
You can join a support group, with real people you can talk to in person and call whenever you want. is one of the best ones, with a 12 step plan that any one can fallow. There are meetings held all over the world (though moslty in the US) and the people there are amazing. If you do not live within the range of one, there are online meetings are support disscussions listed on their website, and many people who attend the weekly meetings go online as well.
If you don't want to drive and the internet isn't your thing, you can call in and go to the phone groups eatingdisordersanonymous hosts four times a week. The times and days are listed below.
All you have to do is pick up the phone and call, and you will be able to speak and be spoken to. The admins of this site are nearly all recovered anorexics and bulimics, and they can all share your pain. If you just feel like your life sucks and you want to end it all, remind yourself that there is always some one who has it worse. Keep faith, and remember, there is always some one you can talk to if you can take that jeap and do some thing as simple as dailing ten numbers.
Yes, you need help. You cannot have someone force chocolates and sweets down your throat until you reach a goal weight and call it done, you will relapse, and you will relapse hard. I know one girl that is a healthy weight, but had to burn any and all pictures of her when she was anorexic because the pictures made her cry. She told me that she remembered what it felt like to be beautiful, and seeing how wonderful she was only made her want to go back even more. (She was 5 foot 4 and was around 79 pounds at her lowest weight).
While you are recovering, keep these things in mind (No sugar coating, the straight truth being spoken)
1) Recovery is a process, not an event. It will not happen over night, by any means. Often it takes years and years to get any sense of normalcy back, and even then, there will be hauntings left over. You life will always be different, but it's up to you if you want to let it destroy you or not.
2) If you do not do this, you will die. I don't want to scare you, but this is a scary thing to be dealing with, and there is no time for sugar coating things. 20-40 of people with eating disorders eventually die because of them, even after they have recovered. Not knowing what the future brings is scary, and knowing you have a decent chance of being dead in ten years makes it even worse. Going through recovery is the only thing you can do to help yourself.
3) This is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. It's that simple. You will be battling with yourself for years and years, and for the rest of your life as that little nagging voice in the back of your mind continues to say 'DON'T EAT THAT!' or as you realize: you really, really want to throw up. These thoughts never go fully away, it's up to you if you want to listen to them or not. It can be done though. People do it every day, but people slip back in every day as well. Don't slip back in, and if you do, pull through early and tell some one!
4) Even years after your last purge, or months after you have become a healthy weight, it is still best that you keep getting help. Stay in support groups, keep seeing a therapist, whatever you need. The biggest cause of relapse is because people didn't think that they needed to keep getting help and left too early. You are a baby bird now, don't fly out too soon.
5) No more secrets. While you should not tell every one you know, every one you are close to should. Family, friends, teachers, your boss, if you think they have the right to know: they do.
6) You may have more problems than you think. Depression is far too common in people with eating disorders (many people need to take anti-depressentsfor years) and substance abuse is the norm. Deal with every thing else FIRST, then tackle the eating disorder. It's like pulling weeds before you cut down a blackberry bush. The weeds are hard, but the bush is what will kill you.
7) You are loved. So many people are hurt every day that this is happening to you, and would gladly take it so you didn't have to. No one will abandon you, no one hates you. If you killed yourself, there are people who would be destroyed by it. Put yourself out of your mind when you think of hurting yourself, and think of them instead.
8) When you get better, remember that you still have to be careful. You will always be walking on eggshells. Comments I hear walking by that probably aren't even at me still hurt, and make my thoughts of going back even more real, but you have to remember that these people do not have the right to judge you. So what if they are skinnier than you? It's what's on the inside that REALLY counts, and it seems that they are really pretty ugly.
9) Live your life. Don't dwell on the past, don't think 'I wish I had not spent my high school years doing that'. Yes, you lost out on a lot, but remember, you are also a whole lot stronger now. Banging yourself up about it won't give you these years back, love the ones you have.
Good luck, God bless you.
Dangers of eating disorders
Low heart beat (sinus bradycardia) known for being under 50 beats a minute.
Facing the risk of never being able to work out or drink coffee (or soda, chocolate, or any thing with high caffeine) again, because this could trigger a heart attack
Dehydration and electrolyte imbalances. Can lead to coma or death.
Loss of menstrual cycle. Some times, you can never have a baby. Imagine being in your early teens and already knowing that you can never carry your own child.
Osteoporosis, meaning your bones are very weak. You will never be able to play sports or even do PE for years and years, as a simple fall can lead to a broken leg.
If you are lucky enough to still be able to carry your baby, there is a much higher chance you will miscarry. Now imagine being in your early teens and knowing you could get pregnant, but your baby will die inside you.
Water intoxication, can often lead to death if enough water is drunken. Yes, you can drink too much water, and it is easier than you would think.
Depression that can last for years to come. Suicide is the second biggest killer of anorexics, and many times an anorexic that uses self harm as a punishment for eating is even more at risk.
Hypoglycemia, low blood pressure. You will have to eat every few hours.
hypothermia (low body temperature)
Depression, also one of the biggest killers of those with the disease
Kidney complications, can lead to death or permentate coma
Not being able to have your own baby, or a large chance of miscarriage. If you do make it to full term, a C-section will probably be needed
Cardiac arrest and heart attacks, both can EASILY kill you
loss of teeth
Stomach ulcers and irritation of the esophagus
rupture of the esophagus. You can bleed to death in less than 3 seconds from this.
People die every day from eating disorders, and every year; the death rate rises 0.5 percent. If you have the buds, or a full blown eating disorder, get help as soon as possible. people are also cured every day, you can be one of the number cured.
If you want to 'catch' an eating disorder, please read the fallowing:
First off, allow me to tell you about what life is like in the aftermath of an ED
You will need to take meds 1-4 times a day, antidepressants like Prozac, something to make you hungry or to reduce cravings, anti-anxity pills like xanax (up to 6 times a day) and some thing to help you sleep. Special vitamins are needed, and something to build up your bones. These side effects can make you gain weight, have mood swings, heart attacks are possible, and commonly they sedate you.
Even if you wanted to, you would not be able to eat 3 full meals a day. At best, you are talking 6 tiny ones. There are times when I still throw up without even wanting to because it's what I trained myself to do for so long, and if I don't remind myself, I won't eat all day because I just don't feel hungry any more. My body doesn't register it any more. No fast food, because the smell will grow to make you sick, and no chocolate or coffee for up to a year.
You will have to go to therapy and/or support groups 1-3 days a week, and family therapy once or twice a week. Imagine telling people the reason you can't go to the mall with them is because you have to drive an hour each way to go to a 2 hour long therapist sesion. Along withthis, you will need to see a nutritionist and a doctor at least once a montheach. Once a month, you will probably spend all day in the hospital being watched.
If you really do catch an eating disorder, and it really does get bad, think about this set up: A week in a mental hospital for depression, fallowed by 30-90 days in an eating disorder hospital. 60-100 days in resitental care. that's up to 197 days, maybe even more. That's more than a school year! You will need to be home schooled, or be held back a year. Many times you will be held back, because getting better is so energy draining. That mark will always be on your record, and seriosuly hurt you when you go to get a job or get into college. If you want to be a doctor, you can all but forget it.
There is nothing great about an eating disorder. They are HELL. I thought all too many times of ending my life, because they cause that much suffering in your life. If you say 'yes, I want an eating disorder' you might as well be saying, 'yes, I want to starve myself, locking myself in my room at night as I cut my arms open and watch my blood flow out, then going into the bathroom to throw up food I don't have to give, waiting for the time where blood comes up, thinking about how wonderful it will be to die. I want to steal my parents alcohol, and maybe even buy some herione from the school druggie. Sign me up, please!'
I would not wish my life on my worst enemy, don't throw away a perfectly good life for this Hell.
The fallowing stories:
The color orange
A brand new day
and a glowing light in the dark
will NOT be fallowing the update outline for the rest of the summer! Thanks!
I used to be twilightsoccerplayer, but i got really bored of the name I came up with in less than three seconds, and master spy advenger is my un-offical nickname
wanna hear the story? It goes a little something like this
Piper: every time someone asks my name, i'm saying the dark advenger
everyone else at lunch table: ...
Piper: (gets handed a piece of paper that turns out to be a chain paper (like a chain text, only school wide and totally random) (Piper makes a fold on it, and goes to hand it off to some unsuspecting sixth grader) (Piper sneaks up on him and manages to totally starttle him when she barks, "Do what it says!" then backs away slowly)
Piper: if i were a spy, i would be the master at it
My Best friend: master Spy advenger!
Piper: ... random... i love it!
the master spy advenger was then born!
MY BODY, MY MIND, MY ORDERS
You guys will never know how much the support given to me via that story means to me. I started out writing that story because I had started to slip back into my old ways, and I didn't want to do that. I felt like if I saw the down side to eating disorders, I would change my mind a little, and I would feel a little better.
I feel like I am not alone.
Thank you to every one who reads it, and I hope it touches your hearts, because it is exactly how 10 million girls and 1 million boys are living RIGHT THIS SECOND. I was once part of this number.
If you want to do more to make eating disorders history, you can visit NEDA.org, there are so many easy ways you can help.
List Twelve fictional characters from the same book.
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
Um... no, and I dount Billy and Rosalie would make a good couple, no offense
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
I don't, but my brother does! lol
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Oh God! James got Bella pregnant? Well first, Edward would kill him, then want Bella to get an abortion like in Breaking Dawn, and she would either have a mental breakdown and agree or be like "YOUR NOT KILLIN MY BABY!" one of the two
4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?
yeah, I read this really funny one where Mike asks Alice out, and when she says no he kisses her against her will and she punches him haha check it out, it's called Ladylike by someone, idk
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Billy and Aro? why not?
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Edward and Mike or Edward and Emmett... Edward and Mike, cuzI've always thought both were a bit gay
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation?
If Jessica walked in on Aro and James... she wouldn't have to do anything cuzthey'd both be like like "OH A SNACK" and drink her blood before she knew what was happening. then they'd get back on to whatever it was they were doing
8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.
Carlislechanges Emmett but 'acidentally' forgets to hold his breath, drinks Emmett's blood, then Rosalie kills him!
9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?
Sadly, yes! God people, it's Alice and Jasper, not jasper and Bella! Gosh
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Nights in Phoenix
11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?
This is a good one! (all human) Alice sends Jasper a morse code message in a bottle, and when he opens it, he relays on the skills he learned at morse code boot camp to decode it, and when he does, he finds that Alice has a crush on him and would like to go out! He then says yes, and while on their date, a vampire attack them, making them vampires, and they find that they are each other's soul mates (: the end
12. If One and Five got together, Would One's ex get together with Seven?
If Jasper and Edward got together, I do not think Alice would get it on with Bella. Twilight can only handle so much gayness
13. Create a title for a Four/Nine humor fic.
The death of Mike
14. Would Five and Eight make a good couple?
well Edward and Bella are 'the' couple of twilight, but personally, every time i see them together I want to scream (on occasion I do) and only finished twilight because I looooove Alice and jasper and am hoping they will get a book all to their own one of these days (:
15. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
okay this is a good one! wait for it... ROSALIE I LOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOU!
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jasper or Edward. Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Edward withyour friends. Crazy is when one of your friends come up to you and says "He is so completely gorgeous!" and you know exactly who their talking about because your brain is no longer set on English, but Twilight. Crazy is when all your friends are scared of you because you are so hyper. Crazy is when you threaten your friends with a free trip to Italy and a vampire mafia if they don't read Twilight. Crazy is when your friend calls you crazy, you tear up a little and tell them that was the nicest thing they ever said to you. Crazy is when you refuse to write a first draft to a story on anything but paper towels, feeling it's good luck. If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.