Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, and Artemis Fowl.
Dang, I changed my name AGAIN. I've really got to make up my mind. Wow, that's gotta be a first.
I think I might change it back. O.o
Okay, I know this is a profile (duh) so I'm gonna introduce myself.
I read a lot. A LOT. Have I meantioned A LOT? Haha. I don't lend people my books unless they receive a lot of death threats beforehand. Dog-ear it and I'll poison you with cyanide.
Oh, and I lovelovelove Starbucks! Go de-caff lattes!! Seriously, why didn't someone invent them earlier?! They think wristwatches are 'neat' (haha, got that of 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), and then take their own sweet time over essentials like LATTES?! Yeah, I'm just over-reacting, I know.
I eat a lot, but I'm not fat. Yet. If I was, the world would just end. Seriously. But I have a 'high metabolism'. Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. I hate things like that. Waste of brain space. Ugh.
I'm a Ravenclaw, which means I'm really smart (I think). Yay! I'm also TV-obsessed, which explains my glasses. They're not those thick ugly ones that you see Daniel Radcliffe wearing in Harry Potter. Ugh. As if. I hate Daniel Radcliffe. No offence to his fans. I'm incredibly fashion-forward. Mum says I waste too much money for my own good, but honestly, who listens to mothers nowadays? And money is there to be spent, right? I'm sure all you shopaholics out there agree with me. So... I watch a lot of TV. I have cable (don't know how anyone lives without it, honestly), but I can't watch so much anymore, on account of it being the new year and all my teachers suddenly decide to turn into homework-giving psychopaths. They are such insert word of choice here.
I love Edward and Bella! I think they make the perfect couple! GO EDWARD AND BELLA!! Jacob is okay, I guess. I never really did like him. He's too pushy. No offence to all those Jacob-luvers out there. I used to be one too, until my best friends made it their personal mission in life to convert me into a Team Edward. Unfortunately. Or not, depending on your point of view.
I've already got another Edward-Bella idea sparking. I'll start one that once I'm done with my story. I have a very wild imagination. It tends to get out of hand sometimes. Not much we can do about that, can we? I love writing. Can't believe it took me this long to actually start writing fanfics. I'm a computer illiterate, you see. A total retard. Sob... So whatever!
And and and, since I have a totally fantah-bulous bestie, I absolutely have have have to tell the whole world! And disappoint all my future fans out there... Sorry, you guys! (girls??)
I should stop now, I guess. Mum's going to throw a hissy fit. I was supposed to be using the computer for online French homework. Hahas. Who honestly cares?
Now, the real stupid fun starts...
A True Boyfriend:
Find the guy that calls you BEAUTIFUL instead of hot,
who calls YOU BACK when YOU HANG up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for HOURS and listen to your heart beat,
or will stay awake just to WATCH YOU sleep,
wait for the guy that kisses your FORHEAD,
who keeps YOUR PICTURE in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in SWEATPANTS,
who holds your hand in front of ALL HIS FRIENDS,
who thinks your beautiful WITHOUT makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he CARES and how he is LUCKY to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live even if he died. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste
Tottaly Random Things I Thought Were Funny
Person # 1: Happiness is just around the corner.
Person # 2: Too bad the world is round!
Never knock on deaths door, ring the doorbell and hide, he hates that.
I'm not afraid of death; what's it gonna do, kill me?
Your wierdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
WARNING: DO NOT follow in my footsteps...I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun!
Growing old is mandatory, growing up however...
Before you criticize someon walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticze them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
You see dead people, but I see regular people and it burns!!
I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me!
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I don't suffer from insanity, I am enjoying every minute of it.
I believe that you should live everyday as if its your last, which is why my room is such a mess. I mean come on who wants to clean their room on their last day?!
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver...
Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you don't like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalks.
Life is like a pack of gum...I've yet to figure out why.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Come to the dark side...we found the Cullens!
I smile because I have no idea what is going on.
I used to be normal, then I met the freaks I call friends (I love you guys! :D)
Therapist= The/rapist...scary thought
There is no "I" in TEAM, but there is an "I" in PIE, and thereis an "I" in MEATPIE, and MEAT is an anogram of TEAM...
I'm not paronoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!!
Parents spend the first half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then for the rest of our lives tell us to sit down and SHUT UP!!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder while coming in a boat to save your sorry butt!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence because of something that I just got that happened yesterday
Isn't it funny how the word politics is made up of the Latin word "poli" meaning many and "tics" meaning blood-sucking creatures?
What happens if you get scared to death twice?
You know its going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.
Sometimes I lie awake at night asking myself what I've done wrong, then the voice in my head says, " This is going to take more then one night..."
I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless. Maybe.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt!"?
The dinasours extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came along and they all committed sicide.
Docters say I have muitiple personality disorder. We disagree.
I didn't say it was your fault...just that I was going to blame you
You can blame all your problems on my two imagenary friends "Steve" and "Candy". They don't mind.
I'm not random, I just have many th- OH LOOK A SQUIRELL!!
In America- SPREAD THE STUPIDITY!!:
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. (MY FAVE!)
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America do we use the politics to describe the process of economy so: Poli in latin meaning many and tics meaning blooksucking creature. ( I want to be a politician! coughcough vampire coughcough )
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in America do we have problems with obesity, but still let kids roam around once a year looking for free candy
Those copy and paste things everyone loves so much
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile
If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.
If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. (Why would I?)
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile
If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile
If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, a chair, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have WAY too much time on your hands and you're on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.
Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
Paste this in your profile if you've ever fallen off a chair backwards.
If you're obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this list into your profile
If you've ever had a random spazz out moment in the middle of class or a quiet room, put this in your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
FRIENDS vs. BEST FRIENDS (I swear on my life I would totally do all that below for my BFF. Otherwise she'd take my life. Haha)
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will cry with you and then go beat up the sorry loser who made you cry
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: At your funeral would be crying
BEST FRIENDS: Sorry I'll be in jail for killing the jerk who murdered you!
Ah-ha! My BFF lookingforthelight totally C&P-ed this into her profile! Stupid! I didn't do it! Haha, I don't have freakin' time.
ONE FOR THE GIRLS!!:
(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
Man: Where have you been all my life?
You know you live in 2008 when...
1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace
4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
I am the kind of girl who's not afraid to go through life alone and who has learned to care very little what others think. I walk aroundmuttering lyrics of some random song under my breath and all of my teachers have learned to discard the doodles in the margins of my papers. I scribble out rather than erase and wouldrather stay at home and read a book than go to a school dance. I appreciate respect and in return give it to those who gave it to me. I don't fight over stupid things like clothes and looksor hang out with those who have died their hair more times than others. I spend more time predicting the future than reminiscing over the past and would rather be made fun of by the populars than join them. I am the one who tells people my honest opinion but nicely and pretty much tells it like it is. Avoiding populars is everyday business and I scream when I find out we aren't allowed to bring iPods on our field trip. I mainly act real strong and learn to lie very well...it's required when you've gotta be nice to people who have called you a freak numerous times "behind your back." Yep..that's me. Nice, right? (i owe this to xLove-Hate-Relationshipx i loved it so i stole it. it kinda describes me.:))
"Help! I've fallen and I can't--Hey! Nice carpet!"
There are no stupid questions...just stupid people.
You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor.
My imaginary friend thinks you have issues.
Flying is very simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends.
It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
We can take a lesson from Crayons. Some are sharp(most aren't, though), some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are unique, but they all learn to live
I'm the kind of person who walks into a door then apologizes.
Don't look at me in that tone!(i had a teacher tell me this. my friends and i laughed and we got sent out of the classroom!)
Why spell it out to you if I can scream it in your face?
When life gives you lemons, make Grape juice, sit back, and watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you can't beat them, join them
How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged?
Your mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then it's gone.
The past is just the future with the lights on.
Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?
"Secret Admirers" are just stalkers with stationary.
Sarcasm is your mind's natural defense against stupidity.
Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
If you know me, chances are, you hate me.
Sticks and Stones can break my bones,
My name is Sarah
Calling me Fake, won't make you Real.
24 Things I owe to my Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
6. My mother taught IRONY.
7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
18. My mother taught me about ESP.
19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
Her name was Aurora
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
She grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom sudddenly
She thrust the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
Again, Sniff, sniff
Please read this poem that I found. I think it really says something,
So please read this poem. Thank you. A lot.
I know I'm not perfect,
Anything else you'd like to throw at me?
I am a girl,
Harsh but vulnerable,
An open book,
And totally proud of it.
(One day in my Technology class with my teacher, Ms. Annins...)
Ms. Annins: ...You have to tell the computer exactly what you want it to do! It can't read your mind!!
ME: (Sighs)...Technology is no replacement for Edward Cullen.
(Me and my friend Anna one day)...
Megan: If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you think I got arrested for?
Me: (pauses to think for a moment, smiling) Hm...Assault...murder...grand theft auto...not sure which, though most likely murder.
Anna: Yeah, I agree.
(I have such good friends, don't you think?)
Thanks for reading, it means alot to me.
I'm not afraid of the dark...I'M AFRAID OF THE NINJAS HIDING IN IT!!
CAREFUL OR YOU'LL END UP IN MY NOVEL!!
(Seriously. I have a shirt that says that. Really. I do. )
Good Friend Vs. Best Friend
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend will walk into your house without ringing the doorbell or knocking, a best friend will walk in and yell,"I'm home!"
A good friend will call your parents by their first names, a best friend will call them Mom and Dad.
A good friend will tell you that your a great singer even if you're terrible, a best friend will tell you that you suck.
A good friend will tell you a little white lie. A best friend tells you the truth, no matter what.
A good friend forgot your birthday. A best friend reminded the whole town how old you turned.
A good friend will forget to give you back the jeans that she borrowed. A best friend has at least three outfits that you used to own, but mysteriously disappeared...
A good friend doesn't know your middle name. A best friend knows your parents'.
Annoying things to do in an elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
14) WHEN there's only one other person
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
16) ASK if you can push the button for
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
- I'm gonna do that one of these days...
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
My new quote
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention i n class.
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle.
Girl:Slow down, i'm scared.
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No it's not, please, it's so scary.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, slow down.
Guy:Now give me a big hug
She gave him a big hug
Guy:Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me.
The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people
were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the
breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she
loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he
would die. If you would do the same for the person you love, copy this in your profile.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
Try Not To Cry:
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
-Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table: 239.99. Hot Breakfast: 4.20. Two Aspirins: .38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!
if Hannah Montanna was standing on the edge of a 6 story building about 90 of Americans would have a nervous breakdown. If you are one of the 10 of Americans and Canadians that is yelling "JUMP BITCH!" copy and paste this in to your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.
My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!
If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.
If you truly believe, there is an Jasper Hale somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Jasper Hale), copy this into your profile.
If you think all the good ones are either married, gay, or fictional creatures, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile
If you like to write, copy/paste this in your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
If you have/had a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character, then copy and post this into your profile
Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least)
Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with Fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this into your profile.
A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just to help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you always say 'uhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you jsut see two reveiws, paste this in your profile
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy and paste this on your profile.
If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, etc) copy this to your profile.
A friend tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friend sits there laughing their ass off saying, "Dude, you're an idiot!"
If you have an annoying younger --or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.(one of my friends can do it)
If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile.
you think TV Golf is the mst boring thing on TV... copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.(saw 3. it was sad.)
Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this into your profile
If 2 of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you be standing there laughing your ass off. If you are copy and paste this
If you hate ShikaTema copy+paste this to profile
If you think Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohan should stay in Rehab copy paste this
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
have you ever been hurt because you daydreaming,if you have copy and paste on your profile
have your friends tell you that you are to obsess with fics that you are scaring them, copy and paste this.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!
If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile.
If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile
Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303,Thank you people who are nice, AfterDarkHours, Neji's fangirl, Kawazoe Michiyo, kamiry, hinata 7875960400, Jasper's Delicate Angel, JazzyLover
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile. EcoliandDahChihuahua, Flower of the Desert, Blue Tiger-chan, BleedingSaro, Neji's fangirl, Kawazoe Michiyo, kamiry, hinata 7875960400, Jasper's Delicate Angel, JazzyLover
COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE IF YOU HATE STEREOTYPES! BOLD THE ONES THAT APPLY TO YOU
I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish
I'm a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi
I WEAR GLASSES and RETAINERS, so I MUST be a nerd
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm HALF ASIAN HALF BRITISH, so I MUST be short
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay
I HAVE a BIG FAMILY siblings, so WE MUST be financially challenged
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans
I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature
I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet
I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I must just be Emo.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be Emo.
I like COUNTRY music, so I MUST be a redneck hick.
This is Written by a Guy!!
Not Me i Just Thought It Was Cute
We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it makes us kinda mad.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there..
We don't care if a guy calls >OR TEXTSbut at 2 in the morning we do get a littl e concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.
That it can't wait till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in.
Let us pay for you!
dont 'feel bad'
We enjoy doing it.
Smile and say 'thank you.
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to
We like you for who you are and not what you are.
Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.
or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up..
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown,
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'
On the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether ; )
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!
Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and say 'i love you' .and actually mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.
Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this,
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.(my mother has to jut out her chin because she foged up the mirror)
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH WISH
Your wish has just been recieved
Oh so cute! Bunny!
Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination, and
(All credits to this hilarious back part goes to... harrypottermeetstwilight! -she did say people could copy and paste- Now let's all clap and cheer, whether you like it or not, or I'll beat you up. With a few minor adjustments...)
You know you love me (lol, that was so Gossip Girl)