Author has written 2 stories for Avatar: Last Airbender, and Harry Potter.
Well hello there! Welcome to my profile! Btw my user name used to be pirateKitten11893, but I felt like I outgrew it so I changed it! XD
I'm a girl due to that fact that I indeed possess boobs and ovaries . I loves me some fanfictions! XD Eh...what else? I'm short...actually, no, I'm FUN SIZED, BITCHES! My hair color varies between plain brown to the color of an eggplant, my dark eye color changes with my emotions, and my style changes according to my mood. Suck it, I'm not very specific. My best friend is Kelly AKA Emrixa, she's one sick puppy, but I love her. Check her out.
Name: like I'd really tell you!! Location: STALKER!! Age: between 18 and 21
MMkay, can't think of anything else, so here's a list of FAVORITES!!
post if you like.
Put this on your
(Put this on your page if u like music)
this is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia
Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side! (We have cookies!)
If you want to smack the living daylights out of Sasuke for abandoning Sakura, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile
If you hate NejiHina copy this into your profile
You say BABY PINK
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your butt off.(It's SO obvious)
If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.
If you have a really bad memory, copy and...what was I doing again?
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.(when I do it with other people around me they think I'm crazy!Hmm..I wonder why?)
If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.
If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you would LOVE to know how Naruto's going to end, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
I am six weeks old today, a special treat for me.
I have a pair of big blue eyes, so one day I shall see.
Where are we going, Mummy? All the rain is puring down.
As it hits the sidewalk it makes a funny sound.
Bang bang go the doors, all the men dressed in green.
If they try to hurt you, Mummy, run away and scream.
Help me, Mummy, help me, they are pulling me apart!
First of all my body, last of all my heart.
I love you mummy, belive me, yes I do.
But most of all, Mummy, I thought you loved me too.
Say no to abortion!
Ugly the cat
"Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and, shall we say, love.
One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbour's dogs. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end.
At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.
Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me...
I will always try to be...Ugly. "
If this story has touched your heart in any way, PLEASE Copy and Paste it to your profile
Listen Kiddo's!! ItAsAkU-LoVeR and Takara Makoto are trying to get FF.net to give out awards like : Best review, (and for stories) Most reviews, Most Alerts, Most favorites, Etc. And they can all be given at the end of a month! (THIS IS ALL ItAsAkU-LoVeR's Idea!!)The home page, should be more colorful like..there should be random designs of it. They should put ...stuff up like Naruto on the Naruto fanfictions!! If you agree, then talk to ItAsAkU-LoVeR !. ItAsAkU-LoVeR IS THE BRAINS OF THIS FABULOUS IDEA :D No credit goes to me! HUZZAH! SPREAD THE WORD!! PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE!!
If you love Sasuke and Sakura fics paste this onto your page
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile
If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile
If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile
If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!!
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile
If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your cell phone, copy and paste this into your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile
If you can freak someone out just by glaring at them, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy the hell out of somebody copy and paste this to your profile
If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.
If you have embarassing memories that make you want to smack yourself copy this into your profile
If you have a really bad memory, copy and...what was I doing again?
If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, add this to your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, xnarutoxrocksx, widgetofdoom666, xXFallenCherryBlossomXx, koolbrunette06, Sessy52, Suzu-chan08
If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile
If you and your friends have anime/movie nicknames for each other, copy and paste this into your profile
If sometimes you just read and tune the people around you out, copy and paste this into your profile
If sometimes you got in trouble by your teacher for reading in class, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name below! Suzu-chan08
20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:
1:At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down
2:Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3:Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that
4:Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5:Put Decaf in the coffee maker(home or work), When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction switch to espresso
6:In your memo book, on all your checks put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"
7:Finish all your sentences with" In Accordance To The Prophecy"
8:Don't use any punctuation
9:As often as possible, skip instead of walking
10:Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face
11:Specify that your drive thru order is "TO GO"
12:Sing along at the opera
13:Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
14:Put mosquito netting around your work area(or room) and play tropical sounds all day
15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'
16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"
17:When the cash comes out of the ATM yell " I WON, I WON"
18:When exiting the Zoo start running toward the parking lot yelling " Run for your lives they're loose"
19:Tell your children, or younger sibling that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"
20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile
If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile.
If there are times you just want to annoy people for the heck of it, copy and paste this on your profile
If your mom says your special on the inside, copy and paste this in your profile
Weird is good. Strange is bad. Weird is the same as different which means the same as unique! Which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this on your profile
Everyone is weird. So you have to be at least a little weird to be normal, right? If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile
Girls Don't realize these things;
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I got this off Numeral
Pick Up-line and shut downs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Translations: Japan - English (((not by me!)))
Jobun = Foreword
Ichi = One
Haru = Spring
Sayonara = Goodbye
Moshi moshi? = Hello? ("Moshi moshi?", is something they say everytime they answer the phone)
Oh dear Kami-sama = Oh dear Lord / Oh dear God
Nakama = It can mean friend, but has a much stronger meaning to it like: Super-duper-bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world-where-nothing-can-ever-ever-ever-EVER-tear-us-apart...
Koibito / Amate = Lover
Anata = means 'you' but also can mean 'dear'
Koi = Love
Koishii = Dearest / Sweetheart
Ichizoku = Family or Clan, ex. The Uchiha Ichizoku (The Uchiha Clan)
Otou-sama, Otou-san, Otou-chan, Tou-sama, Tou-san, Tou-chan, Chichioya (Chichiue),'Oyaji' = Father, dad, 'Old man'
Okaa-sama, Okaa-san, Okaa-chan, Kaa-sama, Kaa-san, Kaa-chan, Hahaoya (Hahaue) = Mother, mom
Onii-sama, Onii-san, Onii-chan, Nii-sama, Nii-san, Nii-chan, Aniki, Ani, (Name, ex. Naruto)-nii = Older brother, Big brother, (Ani) brother equally, big brother (Naruto)
Onee-sama, Onee-san, Onee-chan, Nee-sama, Nee-san, Nee-chan, (Name, ex. Sakura)-nee = Older sister, Big sister, big sister (Sakura)
Otouto-sama, Otouto-san, Otouto-kun, Otouto-chan, Otouto, (Name, ex. Sasuke)-otouto = Younger brother, little brother, baby brother, little brother (Sasuke)
Imouto-sama, Imouto-san, Imouto-chan, Imouto, (Name, ex. Hanabi)-imouto = Younger sister, little sister, baby sister, little sister (Hanabi)
Ojii-sama, Ojii-san, Ojii-chan, Jii-sama, Jii-san, Jii-chan, 'Oyaji' = Grandfather, 'Old man'
Obaa-sama, Obaa-san, Obaa-chan, Baa-sama, Baa-san, Baa-chan, Sobo = Grandmother, Granny, 'Old hag'
Oji-sama, Oji-san, Oji-chan, Ji-sama, Ji-san, Ji-chan = Uncle
Itoko-sama, Itoko-san, Itoko-kun, Itoko-chan = Cousin
Ossan = Old man / Mister
Onna = Woman
Gaki = Brat
-sama = For higher status, ex. Hokage, Clan Head, ex. Tsunade-sama, Hiashi-sama
-san = For people you respect, ex. Kakashi-san, or with surname only: Hatake-san
-kun = For a boy / man you are familiar with, ex. Sasuke-kun
-chan = For a girl woman you are familiar with, also refered to cute, ex. Sakura-chan
-sensei = For a teacher, doctor, ex. Iruka-sensei, Tsunade-sensei
-taichou = For a captain, ex. Hatake-taichou (Captain Hatake)
-shishou = For boss or a teacher in a job, ex. Tsunade-shishou (By Sakura)
-senpai = For a senior in school or in a job, ex. Neji-senpai
-kouhai (Sp?) = For a junior in school or in a job, ex. Naruto-kouhai
101 things to do at WalMart - If you have done at least 10 of these then you my friend, are super awesome!!
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"
6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy".
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code Red in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
43. Two words: "Marco Polo."
44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.
55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."
59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.
71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag
72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"
73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes
74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane
76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)
77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"
78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight
79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.
80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.
81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section
82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.
83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.
84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.
85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.
86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!"
87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.
88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught
89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.
90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me."
91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.
92. Rearrange items as you see fit.
93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.
94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs.
95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).
96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended).
97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.
98. Follow someone until they notice.
99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7 Up commercial.
100. Throw Skittles at people and scream "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"
101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.'
And now an ode to yaoi:
If yaoi were vodka
And I were a duck
I'd swim to the bottom
And drink my way up
But Yaoi ain't vodka
And I ain't a duck
So give me some yaoi
And shut the fuck up
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
Love the stupidity and randomness. NOW!
When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice and leave the world to wonder how the heck I managed it
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on
Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday
Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas
If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter
When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.
You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it
He who laughs last thinks slowest
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
I'm not cynical, everything just sucks
I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid
It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good
I'm not as dumb as you look
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek...nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
If genius is 1 inspiration and 99 perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the tme to do it.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis.
It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
When I'm feeling down I like to whistle...it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.
If you can't get the skeletons out of your closet, you'd better teach them to dance.
Stupid is just a 5 letter word.
Don't ask me to think inside my head, because I lost my inside voice.
Friends are like condoms, they protect each other when things get hard.
No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
If UFO's are supposed to be so intelligent, then why have they abducted humans?
Anyone who says "As easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
If voting could change anything, it would be illegal.
That that is, is. That that is not, is not. That that is is not that that is not, and that that is not is not that that is.
If you got a problem, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.
Work is blackmail for survival.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth without first giving him a Certs.
Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.
Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.
When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.
Fun flies when you're doing time.
When all else fails, use duct tape.
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injection?
You are now entering a school free drug zone. Thank you for pot smoking.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS:Lend you their umbrella
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
--Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.
If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.
If... The Jonas Brothers were standing on the top of an eighteen story building, 95 out of 100 girls would be standing there screaming and crying. Copy and paste this into your profile you're the 5 that would be dragging a lawn chair over there with popcorn and some soda, shrieking: "Jump! Jump! Jump!"
Put this in your profile if you hate child abuse.
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Cinderella walked on broken glass.
I got both of these off of xcolormelovelyx's profile, check her out her stories are made of WIN!!
LEARN CHINESE IN FIVE MINUTES...(IF YOU ARE CHINESE, PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS OFFENSIVELY...IT IS ONLY FOR HUMOR) YOU MUST READ THIS OUT LOUD...
1 - THAT'S NOT RIGHT...Sum Ting Wong
2 - ARE YOU HARBORING A FUGITIVE...Wai Yu Hai Ding
3 - SEE ME ASAP...Kum Hia
4 - STUPID MAN...Dum Fuk
5 - SMALL HORSE...Tai Ni Po Ni
6 - DID YOU GO TO THE BEACH...Wai Yu So Tan
7 - I BUMPED THE COFFEE TABLE...Ai Bang Mai Fa King Ni
8 - I THINK YOU NEED A FACE LIFT...Chin Tu Fat
9 - IT'S VERY DARK IN HERE...Wai So Dim
10 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON A DIET...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11 - THIS IS A TOW AWAY ZONE...No Pah King
12 - OUT MEETING IS SCHEDULED FOR NEXT WEEK...Wai Yu Kum Now
13 - STAYING OUT OF SIGHT...Lei Ying Lo
14 - HE'S CLEANING HIS AUTOMOBILE...Wa Shing Ka
15 - YOUR BODY ODOR IS OFFENSIVE...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16 - GREAT!...Fa King Su Pa
17-ARE YOU PREGNANT...Wai Yu Soh Faht
18-YOU'RE CRUEL...Yu Me Ni
19-THAT'S A DOG...Mai Dog Gi
20-DUMB ASS-Wai Yu So Fa King Dum
NARUTO YO'MOMMA JOKES:
Yo'momma so fat even naruto doesn't believe it!
Yo'momma so fat even the byakugan can't see through her
Yo'momma so ugly she turned Orochimaru gay
Yo'momma so ugly when she walked by Hinata, Hinata yelled out "Dddddaaaaayyyyyuuuuummmm"
Yo'momma so fat she makes Choji look skinny
Yo'momma so ugly she makes the Shukaku look cute
Yo'momma so dumb she makes Naruto look like a genius
Yo'momma so ugly she makes Karin look pretty
Yo'momma so ugly anbu thought she was in the second curse mark and kicked her ass
Yo'momma is so stupid she took a shit thinking it would open the 8 inner gates
Yo'momma so old Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot
Yo'momma so ugly she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again
Yo'momma so ugly when she stopped by Kakashi he used his sharingan to see if someone put a genjutsu on him
Yo'momma so ugly she scared the little kids in her village more than Gaara
Yo'momma so ugly that she even scared Gaara
Yo'momma so ugly she's the reason why Itachi went blind
Yo'momma so ugly she's the reason why chidori and reasangan was made
Some crap that would never happen on Naruto:
Naruto will stop saying believe it
PROOF! That Sasuke cares... for Sakura.
During the bell test, when Sakura fainted from seeing his head above ground, and the rest below, Sasuke waited for her to wake up, even though he probably knows he's wasting time.
-When they were escorted Tazuna to the Wave Country, Sasuke rushed in front of Sakura to protect her and Tazuna, even though Kakashi would have come(of course, he didn't know that but still)
- When Sasuke and Naruto were fighting Haku, Zabuza went to attack Tazuna but Kakashi protected him and Sakura screamed. When she did, you could hear worry in Sasuke's voice when they heard her.
-During the Chuunin Exams, The Forest of Death, when Sasuke and Sakura first found, Orochimaru, disguised as a Grass nin, when he stabbed his leg to get rid of the whole frozen in fear thing, when he went to pick up Sakura, he could have done it many ways, but he chose to pick her up bridal style.
-Again during the Chunnin Exams, The Forest of Death, when Sasuke and Naruto were fighting Orochimaru, disguised as a grass nin, after Orochimaru gave Naruto the five-pronged seal. When Sakura called him a coward, he reacted. He didn't react when Naruto called him a coward.
-After Orochimaru gave Sasuke the Cursed Seal, Sakura went to help him. I'm not sure if this is just because he was in a lot of pain, but instead of dealing with the pain by himself, like I thought he would, he actually let Sakura help him and the animators made him faint onto her.
-Also during the Chuunin Exams, The Forest of Death, when Sasuke wakes up, the first thing he does is ask Sakura who hurt her. Even the the influence of the Curse Seal couldn't change the bond he has with her.
-Another in The Forest of Death, when Sakura hugged him, the Curse Seal receeded. There's gotta be something behind that.
-During the Perliminary Rounds of the Chuunin Exams, the first thing Sasuke thought of when he was trying to make his curse mark receed was the image of Sakura crying, begging him to stop.
-After Garra semi-changed into his Shukaku form, and after he pinned Sakura to the tree with his sand hand, Sasuke told Naruto that he had better save Sakura no matter what, then run away.
-Also during this time, Sasuke also said that he wouldn't allow another important friend to die in front of him, refering to Sakura.
-Again during this time, when Sasuke went to catch Sakura after the sand released her, there were many ways of catching her, but he had to catch her bridal style. I know that's the way she fell, but then, who made her fall that way. The people who make Naruto. I say, they're hinting something but making Sakura fall in that manner.
-Once again, after Sasuke caught Sakura and went to lay her down on a branch, if you look closly, you will noticed his hand lingers under her head for a split second.
-Do I have to say it, when Sasuke told Pakkun to take care of Sakura, you could hear worry in his voice. His eyes also softened a bit.
-After the Hokage's funeral, in the flashback when Sakura asked Sasuke if he saved her, he said that Naruto saved her. You can tell that he had regret and sadness in his voice. Like he wanted to save her.
-When they were escorting Idate through the race, while on the boat when the Rain nin were attacking, Sakura's arm was hit by a kunai. Even though it was only a small cut, when she cried out in pain, Sasuke showed a hint of worry on his face.
When Ino hugged in during the Chuunin Exams, Sasuke was very mad and pissed off. But when Sakura hugged him in the hospital, he didn't have any hatred in his eyes and he let her.
-During Naruto and Sasuke's fight on the hospital roof, when Sakura ran in the way to try and stop them, Sasuke wanted to pull back. It means he cares for her well being in some way; or else, he would have just ran her through.
-This one I thought was implied. Who confronted Sasuke the night he left? Sakura. The people that make Naruto might be hinting something.
-Again, when Sasuke was leaving, he put up with all of Sakura's talking instead of ignoring her like he normally does. He even gave her a speech. A short one, but still.
- When Sakura asked to go with Sasuke, he replied that it was "too dangerous." He didn't want her to get killed.
-Also when Sasuke was leaving, before he knocked her out, he said "Thank you." This shows that he does care about her in some way.
-Sasuke knows that Sakura is weaker than Naruto, yet he doesn't call her 'weak' or 'idiot'. Just 'annoying'.
-Lastly, when Sasuke knocked her out, he could have left her on the ground where she left her on the ground where she lay.
Sasusaku. Stuckup-chickenhaired-i-hate-the-wolrd-emo-boy meets sweet-but-get-in-my-way-and i'll-break-your-spine- girl. What better match is there!
THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:
s, sasukerules.org, xkawaiichix, KairiUz, CrookshanksisaNinjaIf you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan, Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai,Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, Chibi Shino, Chibi Kabuto
Images of Sakura from my upcoming Naruto/Elfen Lied crossover story:
...Yeah, that's all I can think of for now. Peace out!! XD
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