Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.
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○○the unofficial profile of the○○
○○○○. . . drum roll, please . . . ME!○○○○
QUICK! Go read my Kate/Garrett story, Follow You Anywhere! Do it!
Ways to say no to sex:
1. "I'm sorry, but I'm in the process of becoming a man/woman."
2. "Here's a quarter. Go ask my dad if it's okay."
3. "I'd like to, but I don't want to trade in my sweet crib for a baby crib."
4. "I think about those 300,000,000 little suckers trying to get to one egg, and I don't like the odds!"
•Never eat more than you can lift. --Miss Piggy
•Life is funnier with Jack Daniels. --Ellen DeGeneres
•We might not make good decisions, but hell we make good stories!
•We stand, and we fight, and we give death the finger! --Meredith Grey, GREY'S ANATOMY
•There is only one thing in life we can be sure about: It ain't over 'til it's over. --Meredith Grey, GREY'S ANATOMY
•This reality is nothing like what I fantasized. --Mark, UGLY BETTY
•We'll call it Extreme Makeover: Homo Edition. --Mark, UGLY BETTY
•War doesn't determine who's right, war determines who's left.
•Light travels faster than sound. That's probably why people seem bright until you hear them talk.
•Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in back seats can lead to children.
•It's better to have loved and lost than to live with the psycho for the rest of your life.
•Never go to bed angry. Stay up late and plot revenge.
•May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day, and may his arms be too short to scratch.
•Today, I'm going to be happier than a bird with a french fry.
•Who's cruel idea was it to put the letter s in the word "lisp"?
•The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
•You can't be old and wise without being young and crazy.
•Life is like a windshield, it just ain't got a rearview mirror.
•People always said that America would have a black president when pigs would fly. Well, look at what's happened 100 days into Obama's presidency--swine flu.
•It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet, either.
•The only thing we have to fear is fear itself . . . And spiders.
•There are three ninjas on this page. Can you find them?
•I major in mixed Martial Arts and Crafts.
•Have a pheasant plucking day.
•3.14 per cent of sailors are Pi Rates.
•Scientists do experiments on the lab table periodically. (Take that one as you will)
•Pinatas: Victims of Child Abuse.
•It's on like a prawn that yawns at dawn.
•I felt like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich. --Sophie, SOPHIE
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.
- Leproriphobia is the fear of Bunnies. (Quick run it's a bunny rabbit and it's bouncing right towards you!)
- In Ohio, USA, it's illegal to get a fish drunk. (How do you get a fish drunk anyways?)
- Philematology is the scientific term for Kissing. (Great so now that's all cleared up, I want to be a philematologist when I grow up!)
- In North Carolina it's illegal for Cats and Dogs to fight. (How are you going to arrest them if they do break the law? I don't think that Handcuffs were made for paws...)
- The fear of Chopsticks is called Consecotaleophobia. (I would love to meet someone with this fear just so I can order chinese food...)
- It's illegal to die in the houses of Parliament. (So what are we supposed to just choose when we die now? And how are you going to punish me if I do die?)
- If you're pregnant in England then you can go for a pee anywhere you like, the middle of the street, the top of big ben and even in a policemans helmet. (I'm NEVER going to wear a policemans helmet again)
- In Tennessee it's illegal to drive while you're asleep. (How am i supposed to drive while I'm asleep anyway? What am I supposed to do sleep walk out to the car and then dribble on the steering wheel to get it started? Yeah that would be interesting to see...)
- The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75 of the worlds poulation. (- Cough - smart person who did that survey )
WHAT I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
•My daily dosage of music
(The good stuff, like BoysLikeGirls, Lifehouse, Mayday Parade, the occasional country song, not rap)
•An interesting book
(I usually need a new one every day)
•My losers for friends
(yes, live-happy-forever-and-always, I’m talking about you)
•Acting stupid on a regular basis
(I don’t know what I’d do without that. Seriously)
•A good ol’ game of Twister
(Seriously, try it on one mat with, like, eight people! Fun! Just make sure you have a camera at hand.)
WHAT I WOULDN’T MIND LIVING WITHOUT:
(I have nothing against the blond color itself, just how people embrace it the way they do.)
•All the hundreds of nerve endings on your feet
(Seriously, would you like getting tickled all the time when you have such sensitive feet?)
(It’s the one class I hate and the one class I don’t understand, but for some reason, I get an “excellent” every year on the end-of-course exams. How does that happen?)
Beware: this could be a long list
•Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
•Maximum Ride: School’s Out—Forever
•Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
•Maximum Ride: Final Warning
•MAX: A Maximum Ride Novel
•New Moon ()
•Breaking Dawn ()
() arranged from most to least favorite, not the order they were published
•Sense and Sensibility
•Pride and Prejudice
(I read the last three, didn’t particularly like them, just thought I’d mention them)
•Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
•Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
•Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
•Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
•Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
•Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
•Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows
•What Happened to Cass McBride?
•Dead Girls Don’t Write Letters
•The Alex Rider Series
(I don't know the names of all of them)
•The Seer: Don't Die, Dragonfly
•The Seer: The Last Dance
(I'm working on reading the rest of the Seer series)
•Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
•Son of a Witch, Sequel to Wicked
•Ethan Between Us
•Knights of the Hill Country
•The White Darkness
•Summer of My German Soldier
And so on.
There’re probably more, but I’ll think of them later.
Heyheyhey. So, how is everyone today? Good? Great? Fantastic.
I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to talk about myself. Great. Honestly, talking about myself is not my forte. I guess it's some kind of mental disorder or something . . . But I'll try, just for you. Feel special.
Hmm . . . where to start, where to start . . . I guess I could start with the obvious stuff, like where I live. I'm not going into specifics or anything (I apologize to all those stalkers and pedophiles out there) but I will tell you I live in Oklahoma, red man's land. Yeah, you heard me right--Hicktown, USA. Just to get this clear now, no I am not an incest and no I do not plan to marry my cousins. That would make me creepy and a lesbian. Besides, it's Oklahoma, not Arkansas (I apologize to you Arkies. For the record, my mom grew up in Arknasas and I was born there, so yeah. I live on the eastern border of Oklahoma, so I go to Arkansas everyday. I'm just not a Razorback fan. Sorry.)
I don't want to put my age on here because I don't want my writing to be judged on how old I am which, frankly, is stupid. Skill isn't measured on age, but by determination. Sorry to go all speechy on you, but I had to get that out there.
Writing is my obsession, but not all I do. I have somewhat of a social life. Not much of one, but I do have one. Kinda. I play the flute in my school's marching band (yeah, I know. BAND GEEK!) and I read compulsively. You could call it another mental disorder. I read obsessively and I'm lucky to make a single book last two days. It can get pretty annoying sometimes.
Other than my dorky things I do and call "fun", I do other, not-as-dorky stuff. I am a cheerleader (yepp, cheerleader and band geek. Football season is busy for me), but I like to think of my self as the anti-cheerleader. I like the idea of cheerleading, you know, the dances, stunts, free rein to yell as much as you want, but the blondness of it is not me. I am brunette and proud to say it! I also do theatre in the summer, musicals to be precise. No, I don't sing well, but I think musicals are much more eventful than the regular theatre, the non-musical kind. The dancing isn't bad, either. I like to ride my horses, but don't get to do it often. As you can tell (well I hope you can tell if you read that part up there) I have a very very busy life. No time for such things.
If I have reviewed any of your stories (which I don't do often) and I seemed to come off a little . . . shall we say . . . rude, then I'm sorry. I guess I just have a naturally blunt personality. And putting that into words on a computer screen and not hearing them probably doesn't make them sound much better. I say again, I'm sorry. Sarcasm is my fluent language, and it just sounds rude and not-so-funny when you don't see the facial expressions with them, I guess. For the third time: I'm sorry.
Well, that's all I can think of! See ya later, folks!
Maybe I should inform you of this, so here it goes. I indeed to not have any legal mental disorder. But I guess no one else could really understand my brain if they had a chance to look in it. I sometimes have trouble, myself. If you consider that a mental disorder, then you might understand my thoughts, or you--like so many others--just think I'm a freak. But that's okay. I hold the title and I'm proud to bear it!
WHAT I LOOK LIKE!(This is a crappily-made small interpretation of what I look like. At least to me.)
Hair Color: . . . You know, this is actually kinda hard to describe. I have some freaky hair color that is difficult to put under one specific category. It's like a reddish-brownish color with natural blonde highlights. I've only dyed it once, but it's gone now, and this . . . whatever it is . . . is all that's left. If you have any ideas of what to call this, please tell me.
Eye Color: Whoo. Easy question. Blue
Height: Well, last time I checked, 5'3''. But that doesn't go for my arms. Here's a project for the kids back home to try! Go stand in a doorway. Now. There you go, yeah that's right. Now put your right hand on the ground next to the wall so that your fingertips are touching the ground. Now raise your left hand as high up as it can go along the doorframe. Once your fingertips are streched as far as they will go, stand up while holding your left hand in place. If you have normal porportions, your head will reach where your fingers were. But if you're like me, your hands would be a little higher or lower than your head. For me, higher. Yeah.
Clothing Style: Not really a specific style. I don't really rock the pink-and-preppy style, but I'm not all black and wearing a Sex Pistols shirt, either. Just think of me as somewhere in between.
▬▬Never forget Justin Williams▬▬