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Joined 01-02-09, id: 1790775, Profile Updated: 01-08-11
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

Hello people who creep on me! How's it going!

My Name is Jen and I'm sixteen years old. I'm kind of busy, but I love writing. And by busy I mean after school every day I have swim practice. Twice a week I also have Water polo practice after swim, and I also teach swim lessons. Top that up with school work and chores, and I barely have any free time.

I love listening to music. My all time favorite band is The Beatles, and I love the movie Across The Universe. I also really love the band The Decemberists, and I was recently introduced to Flight of The Concords, which must be the funniest band I have ever heard. U2 is also pretty high on my list of good music, and I was lucky enough to get floor tickets for one of their upcoming concerts. Now all I have to do is convince my parents that it is a good thing to let me drive three hours with friends and then take a train to a different state and stay in a hotel so I can go to a giant concert in Seattle. I have a couple months to convince them...

okay, if you cry, laugh, or even have any emotion change, a smile counts, because of these then send me a review, I only paste things that help awareness or I thought were too funny to pass up. please, read these and review, i promise to try and not make my profile too long, you can even scroll through and only look at a few, but I want advice and comments!!

try not to cry on this one:

A girl and her boyfriend were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary.

Guy: then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now please slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

(She gives him a big hug)

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, but he didn't want his girlfriend to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live, even though that meant he would die. If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile.

If you think Mike Newton should be run over by a bus copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that bus should also take out Eric copy and paste this into your profile

Try Not To Cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

P.S. there is a book about this. It is really good, written by a mother of a victim. The girl was held at gun point, and when asked if she was a christian, she said yes. She was shot. the book is called "She Said Yes" amazing and sad. How can people be so cruel?

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
and time passed quickly as each shared
various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
because it was a small town and she lived
few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
Diane asked God to keep her safe from

When she reached the alley, which was a
cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
man standing at the end as though he
for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
security wrapped round her, she felt as
someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
walked right past the man and arrived

The following day, she read in the
a young girl had been raped in the same
twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
that it could have been her, she began to

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
young woman, she decided to go to the

She felt she could recognize the man, so
them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to
at a lineup to see if she could identify

She agreed and immediately pointed out
she had seen in the alley the night

When the man was told he had been
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
asked if there was anything they could do

She asked if they would ask the man one

Diane was curious as to why he had not

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
two tall men walking on either side of

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will
stand up for you.
I bet 93 percent of you people that read this won't repost

If you think this poem is sad, RE-POST so we can spread awareness about child-abuse. I, myself, think its horrible, make sure others do too.

My name is Sarah, And I am but three.

My eyes are swollen, And I cannot see.

I must be stupid, I must be bad.

What else could have made, My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly.

Then maybe my mommy, Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong.

Or else I'm locked up, All the day long.

When I awake, I'm all alone.

The house is dark, My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come, I'll try and be nice.

So maybe I'll get, Just one whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound! I just heard a car!

My daddy is back, From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse, My name he calls.

I press myself, Against the hard wall.

I try and hide, From his evil eyes.

I'm so afraid now, I start to cry.

He finds me weeping, He shouts ugly words.

He says it's my fault, He's suffering at work.

He slaps me and hits me, And yells at me more.

I finally get free, And I run for the door.

He's already locked it, And I start to bawl.

He takes me and throws me, Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor, With my bones nearly broken.

And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream, But it's much too late.

His face has been twisted, Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain, Again and again.

Oh please, God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops, And he heads for the door.

While I lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah, And I am but three.

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, then you'll understand."


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical
sounds all day at work.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . .
e-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy.

I'm a little tea pot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my... Well i'll be damned. I'm a sugar bowl.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Torn by Dooba reviews
Bella Swan has survived a living hell, twice. She no longer speaks. Nobody ever listened. The Cullen family take her into their care. Bella fights to leave her past behind, but will she be able to let love in? AH M-rated for violence, content, language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 90 - Words: 640,584 - Reviews: 16868 - Favs: 7,252 - Follows: 7,813 - Updated: 4/10 - Published: 9/27/2010 - Bella, Edward
All Roads Lead Straight Back To You by bashfulbellawannabe reviews
When a secretly pregnant Isabella walked out of Edward's life 4 years ago, he thought he'd never see her again. However, when he receives news that Bella's in a coma, and there is no one to watch her son, will Edward step into his "daddy shoes"? AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 62 - Words: 161,484 - Reviews: 1774 - Favs: 1,162 - Follows: 1,254 - Updated: 7/20/2015 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Bella, Edward
Bishop Academy for Boy's by XxDracoMalfoy'sGirlxX reviews
Bella Swan is moving to Forks. Her new school is Bishop Academy...for boy's. One of the soccer captain catches her eye. But the other soccer captain is after her too. Welcome to the mysterious world of boys.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 41,409 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 10/16/2013 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Complete
Cupid State of Mind by Kaitsa reviews
ON HOLD. Sequel to Cupid Painted Blind. Edward and Bella are starting a new stage in their lives. Will the changes affect their relationship? AH/AU OOC. Rated M for lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,062 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 3/26/2010 - Published: 3/19/2010
My Sin, His Sacrifice by OreoFudge'D reviews
after a car crash, Edward loses his memories, leaving Bella broken. after 3 years, they meet again for a mission and Edward falls for Bella. what will happen if he remembers everything? are they going to be best friends forever or something more? EXB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 21,392 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Edward, Bella
Daises, Roses, and Violets by StreetLightsFade reviews
Bella, Alice, and Rosalie move to a wealthy boarding school. They soon encounter Jasper, Edward, and Emmett. Will they get along? Will they finally realize they are meant for each other? Read through there laughs, joys, and the glory of first love.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 43 - Words: 35,490 - Reviews: 742 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 4/27/2009 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Complete
Little Pink Envelope by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
One of those typical, Bella/Edward one-night stand and getting pregnant stories, but very original plot! Bella knows Edward's name but he doesn't know hers. What happens when they meet up again five years later? All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,854 - Reviews: 2195 - Favs: 2,248 - Follows: 706 - Updated: 9/6/2008 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
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Spandau Ballet reviews
After she finds herself pregnant, Bella leaves to Chicago. She left to help Edward, knowing that if he found out, he would drop everything to help her. This would mean halting his band's dream,and Bella wont allow that. What happens when he finds her?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,850 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/8/2012 - Published: 4/13/2010 - Bella, Edward
your secret admirer
Bella is sick of letting her feelings for Edward govern her life. She has finaly found a way to vent, and that's in the form of writing letters to the people in her life. These are her letters, and her story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,929 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/8/2011 - Published: 1/5/2011 - Bella, Edward
Spy High reviews
Bella is caught hacking the government security system, and is given the chance to either go to jail, or attend Schaefer high school, oterwise known as "Spy High" They send children on missions to save the world.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 26,033 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 1/19/2010 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
Mr FHS reviews
from light shows to baton twirling, the Mr. FHS pageant is a spoof of the average pageant show. There is Sports wear, questionaires, Wake-up calls, dances, formal wear and more. Forks High holds a pageant for guys.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 164 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/3/2009
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