deltabeta26
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Joined 01-05-09, id: 1793829, Profile Updated: 03-26-12

Yo, if you have been here before and are looking at it now you'll realize that I did a massive remodeling of my profile. If you are looking for the rules that are supposed to be here mentioned in my challenges then go look at the forum topic "rules" back on my profile. If you are interested, I happen to have a couple of forums here.

http://www.fanfiction.net/myforums/deltabeta26/1793829/


Name: N, wait I need a new alias, that one is taken. . .by two people. . .F#ck, just call me Delta.

Age: Somewhere between 1 and 100. . . .guess.

Gender: I'll let you figure that out. You have a 50-50 chance of being correct so good luck.

Hobbies: None

Likes: Games, Fanfiction and Manga. My long, fluffy hair. Scarecrows ((not kakashi though he's cool with me)). Ramen ((Even before I heard about Naruto)) and Pizza. Naruto. Succeeding. Weapons. My weapon collection. Yugioh Cards. Hide & Seek. Digimon "and" Pokemon. The rain. The moon. The semi-dark, just enough to see where you're walking. My body. My glasses. Cleanliness. Silence. Flexibility. Dreams, Fantasies, Etc. Monsters. Animals. Ignorance. Endlessness. Creation. Godliness. Innocence. Blood. Colors. Monochrome. Metal. Nature. Ninjas. Music. Knowing where I am. Small areas. Infinity.

Dislikes/Hate: Pain. Splinters, Needles, pretty much anything super thin that stabs you, not Knives though, I love those. Loud noises. Bright light. Super cold or hot, cold and hot to lesser extremes are okay but freezing and burning are not!!! Ants, mosquitos, fleas, pretty much all common, tiny, biting insects. Patheticness. Stupidity. Being Bored. Being cheated. Being annoyed. Bickering unless I'm in it. Being useless. Bitching, whining or complaining. Crumbs. Messiness. Zombies. Sick minds. People becoming vegetables. The End. Nothingness. Being lost. Giant areas. Gun shots. Infinity.


The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

#101- Law of Improbable Attraction- No matter how dorky, nerdy, perverted, young, old, annoying, fat, skinny, idiotic, ugly, uncool and/or just generally unlikeable a main character is, if they are indeed the main character then someone (usually a very hot or soon to be hot member of the opposite sex that they are well acquainted with) will be attracted to them.

First Corollary- The main character will most likely be very dense and not realize this almost obvious attraction towards them until they are directly told so. One of two things will then happen. If the told by someone “besides” the one with a crush on him then after being told they will be dramatically shocked and go into a state of panic, followed by running around, followed by being violently brought out of their panic by the person who told them. They will then nervously confront the person crushing on them and 50% of the time nothing will happen and the series will go on. However, if told by the person "with" a crush on them then said character is likely going to either die or be violently attacked and/or maimed very soon. Afterwards it is very likely that just like the first case, nothing will happen and the series will go on.

Second Corollary- Should the main character and the character with a crush on them ever get together then the main character will somehow dramatically lose any and all imperfections they previously had unless the person with a crush on them liked said imperfections.


Random survey I found without a name I filled out because of boredom.

● You must fill out EVERY question! No skipping!

●Copy and paste this on your profile!

ARE YOU?

1. Perfect? If I am then perfection has mega-pale skin and has problems with confidence and reality in general.

2. Tall? Five nine and growing b!tches. EDIT: Make that five ten. EDIT: Make that 5'11.

3. In your pajamas? As often as possible.

4. Left handed? Yes, and my father's nickname is darth meatball-sub, lord of steak and cotton candy.

LAST:

1. Friend you saw: I have none.

((Why no two? Where did it go!?!))

3. Person to text you: I have no phone nor do I want one.

4. Was today better than yesterday? Can't remember but I think it was pretty much the same only it didn't have a survey.

FAVORITES:

1. Number(s): 26, 13, 7, 573, 18 and 9.

2. Color(s): Black, White, Gray and Blue, though I like pretty much any color besides hot pink.

3. Fruit: Green apples.

4. Place: A comfortable spot on a couch or in a chair with internet and TV, preferably all in the same room while it's raining outside.

EIGHT EMOTIONS:

1. Are you missing someone right now? Yes.

2. Are you happy? Occasionally.

3. Are you sad? Half or more of each day.

4. Are you bored? Almost always.

6. Are you nervous? No, I just like chewing on my nails and eating my finger skin nearly every hour of the day because I love the taste of salty human tissue.

8. Are you tired? Almost every second after waking up unless I eat chocolate, or until my body needs rest, then I'm f#cking hyper. Ass backwards, isn't it?

ABOUT YOU:

Real name? Why the f#ck would I put that sh!t on the internet? I'm not getting traced. . .

2. Nick names? None

3. Eye color? Brown. . .I think.

4. Zodiac sign? Leo, Dog. . .Salmon? Which zodiac are we talking about?

5. Male or female? I'm a manly man T_T. . .a very manly man. . .I am "not" girly.

6. Slut? Aren't man sluts called lucky b@stards? No, no I'm not.

7. Smart? Yes and no. My IQ is high but I don't know much besides trivia. I can't tell you the names of every president but if you wanna know how everything is going to end or how to spell most words then I'm your guy.

8. Hair color? Black from the first look, black on the second take, maybe even black the third time you peek but I assure you it is brown on further inspection.

9. Long or short? Long and curly. I hate haircuts. . . .well, I hate going get hair cuts.

10. Sweats or Jeans? Sweats, because baggy clothes are my holy robes.

11. Phone or Camera? Phone I suppose. They are kickin some @ss these days aren't they? Siri, where do I go to dispose of a body? Youtube gold. . .

12. Drink or Smoke? Neither?. . .Never tried smoking, Margaritas taste nice though.

13. Righty or lefty? Why would this question be asked twice? I thought I said I was as much a lefty as I was famous?

FIRSTS:

1. First best friend? My neighbor, she moved away though. . .

2. First crush? Never had one.

3. First pet? Dog. . .one that was older than me at the time so technically she wasn't "my" pet I guess.

4. First big vacation? Disney land at age 5. Nothing can make a child more hyper. I think I nearly killed the person in the mickey suit by hug.

CURRENTLY:

1. Eating? A tooth pick which is now chewed into wet sawdust.

2. Drinking? Water and spit.

3. I'm about to: Finish this survey, post it, then look for something else to do.

4. Listening to? Epic Rap Battles of History.

5. Plans for today? Surf the net, eat, maybe play a game or two, no actual plan really.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

1. Shorter or taller? I'm tall and I like my tallness so I don't think I would like a girl taller than me. Shorter, definitely.

2. Romantic or spontaneous? Spontaneous, less boring and happily surprising.

3. Sensitive or loud? I dislike loud so my answer is sensitive.

4. Hook-up or relationship? I dislike change so relationship I guess.

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Drank bubbles? What child has not done that? I blew better bubbles with my mouth than that stupid wand anyways.

2. Lost glasses/contacts? Absolutely never. I'm quite protective of my eye wear to the point of hitting people who touch my glasses.

3. Ran away from home? I think on technicality I did. Does being half a mile down the road trying to go visit your grandparents before your parents come and get you after realizing you walked out the door count? I was six.

4. Broken someone's heart? No. No one I know of anyways. Who the hell would even like me that way to begin with?

5. Been arrested? I don't go out and I'm not fond of most illegal acts. I say most because I'm not sure what is illegal, there is this site with wierd laws I once wen ttoo and there are some wierd ones.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

1. Miracles? If God's doing it right then you won't be sure if he's ever doing something at all. Yes.

2. Yourself? "Confidence issues", duh.

3. Heaven? Yes though I'm also quite confused about it.

4. Santa Claus? After several years of having suspicions I went black op and staked out the living room after sneaking out of bed and got my proof. I can f#cking hide well when I want too. Many games of hide and seek end with me being the last one not found until the other people involved just vote to make me the one seeking. What was the original question again? Right, yes up until I was 13.

4. Love? Sure, why not, never experienced it but whatever, people describe it all the time in vivid detail so there must be something to it, right?

5. Do you like someone? No, not really.

6. Do you believe in God? Didn't the answer to the first question of this category also answer this one?

7. Answered the truth on all questions? Wait, how do you know if I'm telling you the truth even if I answer yes?. . . . .Yes?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Shinobi of the High Seas by Kenchi618 reviews
Naruto's age has passed him by as his time is over. Now he attempts to seek out a place for himself in the new world, and it's bigger than he ever figured it to be! Will be epic in length, NaruHarem
Crossover - Naruto & One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 48 - Words: 538,961 - Reviews: 7034 - Favs: 5,759 - Follows: 4,631 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 9/10/2010 - Naruto U.
The Great Romantic by MogtheGnome reviews
What are the odds that giving someone a gift would end up cascading into THIS kind of reaction? Probably pretty low... But this way is funnier.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 57,721 - Reviews: 969 - Favs: 2,224 - Follows: 1,943 - Updated: 3/4 - Published: 9/29/2007 - Naruto U., Tenten
From Ramen with Love: HD Edition by Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin reviews
Bigger, better and with more ramen and humor than ever before, From Ramen with Love returns with less terrible English, new content and an overall upgrade! Valentine's day is coming up and Naruto has no clue how to get a date. With the aid of Ichiraku's daughter, Ayame, Naruto tries to learn how to win the heart of the girl he loves...and the hearts of many other girls!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 47,616 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 7/26/2013 - Published: 6/13/2013 - Naruto U., Ayame
Pokéquest: Enter White Academy by Rainhealsme reviews
The time has come to determine who is really the best of the best as the trainers of White Academy gather to compete in a grand tournament. And this time, it's winner takes all. [Check out the new poll for this story on my profile!]
Crossover - Pokémon & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 122,690 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 5/18/2013 - Published: 4/14/2011 - Zekrom, Naruto U.
Wayne, what happened to those fountains! by Meinos Kaen reviews
Naruto returns to Konoha and finally works up the courage to confess his true feelings to the love of his life.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,223 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 447 - Follows: 103 - Published: 5/1/2012 - Naruto U., Sakura H.
Troubles of a Genderly Confused Teen by Lanky Nathan reviews
Naruto awakes to find that he cannot control when or where his sexy jutsu will activate. The only thing he can say for sure is that his day thoroughly sucks. Naruto/Naruko friendship
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 102,525 - Reviews: 845 - Favs: 810 - Follows: 814 - Updated: 3/2/2012 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Naruto U., Naruko U.
Everyone has darkness by Darthemius reviews
A boy known to everyone... A hero everyone depended on, in reality... never existed. Naruto returns after his training trip different. But was it a sudden change? Or maybe he didn't change at all? Dark/Strong Naruto. NarutoXMany girls. Mega Crossover.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 49 - Words: 325,114 - Reviews: 2285 - Favs: 2,371 - Follows: 1,266 - Updated: 9/24/2011 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Birth of the Araiki Clan by Lesingnon Bladewind reviews
The Raikage had a second target the night of the Hyuga Abduction, and Naruto was brought safely to Kumogakure. Upon arrival, he is gifted with a kekkai genkai in preparation for the birth of a new clan. Behold the power of To-Remu Yajuuki. NarutoxYugito
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 167,056 - Reviews: 719 - Favs: 1,604 - Follows: 1,376 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Naruto U., Yugito N.
NU: RedX Rising by 26-Lord-Pain reviews
AU, Xover, NaruX Find Out . Naruto is betrayed by those closest to him. After stealing the Sacred Scroll he decides to leave the village once and for all and find himself a place to truly belong. An Ancient Jutsu in the Scroll may help Naruto do just that
Crossover - Naruto & Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 58 - Words: 578,485 - Reviews: 3048 - Favs: 2,986 - Follows: 1,712 - Updated: 12/1/2010 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Naruto U., Raven - Complete
The Daemon of Pein part 3: The Gate's Release by The Disciple of Pein reviews
First there was one, and now there are six. The warriors of the growing dusk stand ready to face the world. But the world is only a minor foe, in place of what truly stands against them. Naruto, Pein, Neji and Sasuke. What is it that their eyes can see?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 38 - Words: 214,590 - Reviews: 338 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 10/13/2010 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Naruto U. - Complete
Tired by Narutoenthusiast reviews
Things go wrong at the last Sasuke retrieval mission and Naruto ends up taking the blame for it. Now, tired of everything being his fault, he sets up a new way of thinking that happens to go against every belief he once had. Problem is that not everyone seems very thrilled about the change.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 238,845 - Reviews: 870 - Favs: 2,376 - Follows: 1,267 - Updated: 10/4/2010 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Naruto U., Anko M. - Complete
Konoha: Naruto's Playground by MegaB reviews
When Naruto finally decides that the Konoha populace doesn't deserve his protection, he moves to another goal...Have fun! But his fun turns to fear when his vow to never fight as a Shinobi is broken.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 53 - Words: 291,882 - Reviews: 3938 - Favs: 3,226 - Follows: 1,938 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
Naruto: A Tale of Determination by Vorgonaz reviews
The Third has passed on. How much will a simple conversation about it with Jiraiya change Naruto's view of the Ninja World? How will this affect the Naruto Universe? Will anyone with the Determination of the Third appear again? Read and see!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 61,777 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 5/24/2010 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Naruto U.
NU: Dark Lord by 26-Lord-Pain reviews
AR, Overlord-Xover, Dark/EVIL Naruto, NaruX?. On a winter night Naruto is attacked by someone, and protected by strange creatures known as Minions, he discovers his family was destroyed by this same man. Now, he's decided he'll fight off Evil with Evil...
Crossover - Naruto & Overlord - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 35 - Words: 211,140 - Reviews: 672 - Favs: 814 - Follows: 659 - Updated: 11/18/2009 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Naruto U.
The Gambler by ZenoNoKyuubi reviews
NaruHarem. Naruto gets saved from death by a deck of cards at age five. He is then taken as an apprentice by the Sandaime. --COMPLETE--
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 78,304 - Reviews: 1364 - Favs: 2,736 - Follows: 1,595 - Updated: 11/13/2009 - Published: 12/16/2007 - Naruto U., Anko M. - Complete
Who am I, I am by maverick9871 reviews
Kakashi refuses to train Naruto in favor of Sasuke during the one month break but Naruto had enough. Angry enough to make a deal with the devil, another offers Naruto a choice and a chance at redemption. Now see how Naruto legend grows with this change NX
Crossover - Ironman & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 117,034 - Reviews: 815 - Favs: 1,352 - Follows: 906 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Reishikaku by donalgraeme reviews
Not another Bloodline fic. Naruto runs away from Konoha at age 6, along with Itachi and a bloodline Kyuubi made for him. Watch as Naruto achieves power beyond imagining and realizes that he has a bigger role in this world than he could ever imagine.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,892 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 7/25/2009 - Published: 9/24/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
Sage of the Leaf by HistorianoftheKais reviews
It is said that a butterfly flapping its wings in America will cause a hurricane in China. Watch what happens to Naruto as a small change in Jiraiya's wanderings causing huge changes in Naruto's life.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 44,752 - Reviews: 628 - Favs: 1,729 - Follows: 1,905 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Naruto U., Temari
Whirlpool Wind Sage by Stormrune reviews
Naruto finds about his mother at age five and wishes to reforme whirpool. Futures a geniuspowerfulNaruto. pairing probably NarutoShizune.Expect Naruto to dislike a lot of people.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 40,266 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 639 - Follows: 634 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Naruto U., Shizune
Naruto: The Last Necromancer by dart93 reviews
When looking through the archives for good jutsu, 8 year old Naruto hears a voice calling to him. Going to the voice he finds a living book called The Necronomicon that calls him 'Master'. With the book, he will use it to become a Necromancer Supernaruto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,515 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 4/23/2009 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Naruto U.
Golden Eyes by Hyperguy reviews
What would happen if Naruto has the sharingan? What if the sharingan was different from all the others and is trained by Itachi himself on how to use it? Rated M for safety. I do not own Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 57,912 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 781 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 4/15/2009 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Naruto U., Itachi U. - Complete
Byakko, the White Fox by Kyrrlatur reviews
AU. Everything in life has a balance. Now and then the balance is tipped, and must be corrected. Follow Naruto as he corrects the equilibrium, reconstructing everything in his wake. The lines between good and evil have been blurred. Bring on the Judgment!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 82,155 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 612 - Follows: 624 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Naruto U.
Leaf Puppeteer by Ninja bat master reviews
When the villages' hate robs him of his limbs, Kyuubi takes pity on Naruto and gives him the means to become a legend
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,793 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 276 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Naruto U., Tayuya
Sound Of The Wind by TokehGecko reviews
A Naruto AU Fanfic; Naruto as one of Orochimaru's elite guards. Starts at the Retrieve Sasuke Arc. NaruxTayu
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,644 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 3/17/2009 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Naruto U., Tayuya
The Rise of a Legend by FrightfulDreamer reviews
On Naruto's twelfth birthday the kyuubi is released. Naruto befriend the demon and because of a promise decides to train Naruto. Naruto will step forth on a path to be the greatest ninja the world has ever seen. Super Naruto warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 61,557 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 3/9/2009 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Kyuubi/Kurama, Naruto U.
Spying no Jutsu by daniel-gudman reviews
Disguised as a girl, Naruto will spy on Kage level kunoichi at the Cute Polar Bear Hot Springs Festival. On a related note, Sasuke deals with his growing attration to a mysterious new kunoichi. Also, the first ever Iruka Love Polygon. That I'm aware of.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 89,511 - Reviews: 1158 - Favs: 2,751 - Follows: 1,333 - Updated: 1/11/2009 - Published: 3/24/2006 - Naruto U., Iruka U. - Complete
The Summon World by mgmills69 reviews
what if at a young age, Naruto was transported to a strange world, where he is surrounded by....
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,431 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 12/31/2008 - Published: 12/21/2007 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
The Littlest Sannin by EroSlackerMicha reviews
Raised by the legendary Sannin, what will Naruto be like? Tsunade a mother figure, Orochimaru adn Jiraiya father material? Anko and Shizune as sister and aunt? Pairings uncertain till later chapters.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 46,179 - Reviews: 820 - Favs: 1,530 - Follows: 985 - Updated: 11/12/2008 - Published: 4/1/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
Rin'negan no Naruto: Ninja Collapse by Final Fantasy of a Dreamer reviews
Naruto is attacked by root and flees fearing the consequences while unconsiously unlocking the rin'negan. He meets Itachi stealing his eyes and place in Akatsuki. Life from Akatsuki Naruto/Konan younger /Yugito/Fem Kyuu M for future
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,750 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 379 - Follows: 390 - Updated: 10/20/2008 - Published: 10/15/2008 - Naruto U., Konan
Strength of the Fox, Cunning of the Snake by animefan29 reviews
Young Uzumaki Naruto is alone in the world, until who he meets a teacher who can bring out his potential. The Snake Sannin Orochimaru. Powerful Naruto. NarutoX? pairing for the moment.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 25,122 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 270 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 9/28/2008 - Published: 4/27/2008 - Naruto U.
The White Whiskermarked Mask by FollowTheReaper reviews
Konoha was in the grips of a heat wave, Naruto was killed by a fleeing enemy ninja, And now he's a ghost with a Hollow mask. Sent to Soul Society by a large shinigami with a weird hairstyle. NarutoxBleach X-Over
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,594 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 8/16/2008 - Naruto U.
The Springtime Spiral by Leeslotus1028 reviews
At a young age Gai adopts Naruto How will he grow up with the love of a father and Fires of youth on his side, and just what is it thats can hunt down the akatsuki how will this affect Naruto? Naru/FemHaku many other pairings
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,163 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/3/2008 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Naruto U.
Boom! by Andrew Joshua Talon reviews
Or, Bonding over Explosives is Fun! Naruten, ongoing series. Please R&R.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,134 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 986 - Follows: 707 - Updated: 7/24/2008 - Published: 12/11/2007 - Naruto U., Tenten
The Fox Sanin by RasenRaikirinoJutsu03 reviews
During his fight with Kiba, Naruto comes out of his shell, showing abilities no one has seen him with, except two of his senseis. After the fight, Naruto walks off on his own. Will Naruto stay with the Leaf or will he be the Leaf's undoing? NaruKinYugi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 34,197 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 769 - Follows: 869 - Updated: 6/20/2008 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Naruto U., Kin T.
White Lightning by Diaconsecond reviews
Banished from Konoha after fail in retrieve Sasuke Naruto became the council scapegoat, making a deal with his devil Naruto will gain a power beyond measure, he will get another dream bring glory to Kumo as the White Lightning... NarutoXYugito Naruto Dmc
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 30,092 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 670 - Follows: 696 - Updated: 6/9/2008 - Published: 1/27/2008 - Naruto U.
The way of the Super Pervert! by ToxicManipulator reviews
Naruto in an attempt to get people to acknowledge him, purchases a book that change will his life forever. To find acceptance, he unknowingly becomes a super pervert! Possibly AnkoNaruKure/Depends on votes.Its AU so don't flame me for not being canon. Ch5
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,016 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 507 - Follows: 545 - Updated: 5/8/2008 - Published: 4/17/2008 - Naruto U., Anko M.
The Uzumaki Prodigy by The Bored Writer reviews
Kushina Uzumaki didn't die giving birth to Naruto. What would it be like if he grew up with his mother? Pairings:bits of NaruIno NaruAnko NaruSaku NaruTayu NaruHina. Still a bit undecided. First Fanfic. R&R rated M for safety.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,220 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 48 - Published: 3/31/2008 - Naruto U.
No More Underwear by recodan reviews
Naruto goes though some changes. And stuff happens. Seriously freaky stuff. Don't read unless you like weird. Rating may change.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,134 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 339 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 3/10/2008 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Naruto U., Anko M.
Revenge of the Fox by SaiyanWarrior200 reviews
AU Orochimaru offers seven year old Naruto a chance to not be hated. He accepts and joins the Snake Sannin and The Land of Sound. Dark Naruto fic. rating may change. Main pairing NaruTayu. A/N: This story is done! Working on Sequel!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 175,545 - Reviews: 1285 - Favs: 1,430 - Follows: 797 - Updated: 2/7/2008 - Published: 2/16/2007 - Naruto U., Tayuya - Complete
The Mating Frenzy by MSkyDragons reviews
After the attacks by Orochimaru and the Sand, Konoha’s population is dangerously low. Desperate times call for extreme measures, and Tsunade issues a priority S class mission to every Leaf ninja: to pair off and start making babies!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 33 - Words: 70,171 - Reviews: 6934 - Favs: 5,139 - Follows: 2,088 - Updated: 11/22/2007 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Naruto U. - Complete
From Ramen with Love by Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin reviews
With help from Ayame, Naruto manages to become closer to the girls, but now he has just one big problem. Naruto can't decide which girl he likes the most. Humor, Romance and Mayhem unfolds as Naruto is trying to find his love. NaruHarem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 470,465 - Reviews: 1566 - Favs: 2,253 - Follows: 1,279 - Updated: 8/17/2007 - Published: 12/29/2005 - Naruto U. - Complete
Son of the Serpent by LiquidAsh reviews
AU. A few days after Kyuubi is sealed, Orochimaru and Anko take Naruto away from Konoha.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,428 - Reviews: 479 - Favs: 488 - Follows: 712 - Updated: 3/5/2007 - Published: 4/22/2006 - Naruto U., Tayuya
With the Heart and Underwear of Fire by Diamond Avatar reviews
Naruto wanted recognition, but not as a boxer shorts superninja! With challengers, girls, and women all hunting down Naruto's new alterego, he's going to have trouble making the real Naruto known! ActionRomanceHumor NARUXLOTTAGIRLSXBOXER
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 86,004 - Reviews: 1348 - Favs: 1,081 - Follows: 584 - Updated: 11/22/2006 - Published: 9/25/2005 - Naruto U. - Complete