thenarutofanguy
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Joined 01-06-09, id: 1795788, Profile Updated: 08-15-09
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.

Name: Why do you want to know?

Location: OK dude startin' to get a bit creepy.

Gender: DUDE I'M GETTING READY TO START LOCKING MY ROOM DOOR WHEN I GO TO SLEEP. But yes, i'm a dude.

Age: Now, if you've already read the first to bits of info, you have to ask yourself this; ARE YOU A PREDATOR? But I guess it should say I'm 18 here, based on the Fics I read and write, but I'll tell you right now that's not true. Cough14Cough

Favourite Music: Megadeth, Slipknot, Opeth, Marilyn Manson and Slayer. Lol Kerry King (the lead guitarist)'s daughter is a prep.

Personality: Antisocial, Irritable, A ladies man (ok maybe not so much), Shy (yes i know, oxymoronic), Quiet, Smart, even Condescending at times, and I definetly enjoy an intelligent conversation.

Favourite Fics: Naruto. Yea that's it. Bite me, i've been on the site for like 3 days. OOOOH OOOH OOOH READ MY FIC!!

THE SYSTEM HAS FAILED!!

POT IS A WONDERFUL DRUG XD. AND FOR ANYONE WISHING TO REPLICATE ITS EFFECTS, GO TO THE DENTIST. THAT LAUGHING GAS SHIT IS JUST AS GOOD.

For those of you who may be wondering I just don't have any ideas atm for fics. I am however writing lemons on request. I already wrote one for Raven-and-Ruby and am in the process of doing one for Nighteh13.

Yes, Nighteh13's current avatar is a pic of my hair from the back. Just putting that out there.

I'm Sorry;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'


Don't Fuck With Me Seme

Straight to the point, and sometimes bordering on the sadistic, it takes a special breed of uke to satisfy your needs. You tend to be anti-social with little patience for most people. You need someone to challenge you and push you to your limits, and then be able to take your intense reactions, which possibly involves rope and sensual torture. This is what makes the Badass Uke the yin for your yang, as you're both able to keep each other in line and satisfy each other.

THIS APPLIES WITH STRAIGHT RELATIONSHIPS TOO. I'M NOT A GAY!

Most compatible with: Badass Uke
Least compatible with: Dramatic Uke, Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke

25617 people have received this result since 3-29-08

Sadistic Seme

It takes a special kind of uke to appreciate the punishment you dish out. Making them beg for mercy is what you're all about. You give your uke the gift of pain, and the louder their moans are, the more satisfied with the relationship you'll be. It's no fun if they don't struggle, and struggle and torture is what the Dramatic Uke, your perfect match, lives for.

THIS APPLIES WITH STRAIGHT RELATIONSHIPS TOO. I'M NOT A GAY!

Most compatible with: Dramatic Uke
Least compatible with: Everyone else

13092 people have received this result since 3-29-08.

Yup, that's right, I'm both. Is there an issue?

Mhmm, I'm a sick Fuck. Get used to it.

IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU HAVE RUN INTO A SLIDING GLASS DOOR PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU HAVE MISTAKEN A CAT WITH A SKUNK PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU HAVE SLEPT FOR ALMOST A WHOLE DAY PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU HAVE TAKEN A PRACTICAL JOKE TO WHOLE OTHER LEVEL PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU HAVE BEEN ON YOUTUBE FOR MORE THAN 5 HOURS PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOUR PRIDE GETS IN THE WAY OF YOUR DECISIONS PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU'RE A GOODY-GOODY PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU ARE ACCIDENT PRONE PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World,'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', Zwergschnauzer, 'Dark-Independent-Girl-101', Drama Queen Girl, o0Dreamer0o, lclsurfer, Sasuke-Sakura-14, Thenarutofanguy



How I've waited for you to come
Ive been here all alone
And now that you've arrived
Please stay awhile
And i promise i wont keep you long
I'll keep you forever

Graze the skin with my finger tips
The brush of dead cold flesh appease the means
Provoking images delicate features so smooth
A pleasant fragrance in the light of the moon

Dance with the dead in my dreams
Listen to their hallowed screams
The dead have taken my soul
Temptation's lost all control

Simple smiles elude psychotic eyes
Lose all mind control rationale declines
Empty eyes enslave the creations
Of placid faces and lifeless pageants

In the depths of a mind insane
Fantasy and reality are the same

Graze the skin with my finger tips
The brush of dead warm flesh pacifies the means
Incised members ornaments on my being
Adulating the skin before me

Simple smiles elude psychotic eyes
Lose all mind control rationale declines
Empty eyes enslave the creations
Of placid faces and lifeless pageants

Dance with the dead in my dreams
Listen to their hallowed screams
The dead have taken my soul
Temptation's lost all control

Slayer-Dead Skin Mask

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sasuke's Property: DO NOT TOUCH by melancholy.LOVER reviews
SasuSaku. Sex, lust, desire. He seduced her and now she belonged to him. Simple as that. If Sakura didn't comply.. Well, Sasuke had ways of making her beg. And when he saw her in that revealing outfit... let's just say his hormones kicked in. LEMONS!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,096 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 1/4 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Stripped Bare by J-Pop Princess reviews
When Sakura wanted a change of pace, she hadn't expected THIS! Now she's on a mission with Kakashi, masquerading as a dancer at a club far away from home and she finds herself forced to explore her own powers of sexuality and seduction. KakaSaku LEMON
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 295,128 - Reviews: 3452 - Favs: 3,216 - Follows: 1,920 - Updated: 6/11/2011 - Published: 1/7/2008 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
Being your's by katt1995 reviews
A SakuraXDeidara oneshot. Enemy sex. ;
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,909 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 18 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Deidara, Sakura H. - Complete
Widdershins by neech reviews
-Kakasaku- The first time he sleeps with her, he doesn't love her. A non-traditional shinobi love story: because once ninja are involved, the whole process gets a whole lot more complicated.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,599 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 30 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
A DeiXSaku Lemon by Mistress Fang reviews
Hmm, what's that sound echoing through the halls of the Akatsuki lair? What's Sakura doing in Deidara's room? Not for little children, pure lemon with a hint of fun!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,399 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 11 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Deidara, Sakura H. - Complete
Captive by HatakeAkemi reviews
He always took pleasure in making her see what was right in front of her. WARNING: Rape.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,519 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Sakura H., Orochimaru - Complete
Sadist by momoke reviews
It turns him on when she cries. DeiSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,324 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 20 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Deidara, Sakura H. - Complete
Dead Tomorrow by melancholy.LOVER reviews
SasuSaku She was 'his' filth. And by corrupting her even more.. He'll be saving her from herself. Dark fic. Mature content 'Leave and.. by tomorrow there will be no evidence left.' She gazed up past the corpses. Laughing. 'If you leave. You lose.'
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,828 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 12/7/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Of Rubber Ducks And Shower Sex by melancholy.LOVER reviews
DeiSaku They were at it again. Mr.Quaky had been disposed of. Or so they thought.. As usual Sakura and Deidara were doing 'it' again BUT with a new twist. In the shower. 'Is.. is that Mr.Quaky' M RATED LEMON! ONESHOT!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,786 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/19/2008 - Deidara, Sakura H. - Complete
Stripping Down by PrincessChii reviews
When Team 7 becomes bored on a hot summer afternoon, what are they to do? ...Play a little game, maybe? [rated M for lime] SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,166 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 42 - Published: 4/28/2005
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

School days reviews
I suck at summaries. Sakura rejects Sasuke for Itachi, and things get vicious. Gets darker. M for lemon, and violence.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,095 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Sakura H., Itachi U. - Complete
Bondage reviews
Sakura wakes up in chains, and a mysterious man from her past is getting his revenge using the only way he knows. Bondage! Warning: contains bondage, rape, coarse language and intense amounts of lime. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,757 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 3/18/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete