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Joined 01-06-09, id: 1795828, Profile Updated: 03-04-10

Hello my name is Alex. I'm here mostly to read, but I may write some. I have already written something called Disillusionment for Angel. So if you like it, or just find me incredibly fascinating (I don't blame you) message me.

Here Be Notes:

I'm canceling House of Red because few people read it and no one reviews. I mean, I know right now it kind of sucks, but I don't know if anyone would read it if I fix it up, and nothing has really come to me anyway. So yeah, unless I get someone saying they would read it if I continued it, that's done.

Also, it seems that some people only read part one of Disillusionment. Which is too bad cause the second part is waaay better. Seriously. I somehow relate better to an ancient demon than to a heartbroken human. Oh well. I'll work on my issues one of these days. xp j/k. So yeah, read the second part people.

I'm not sure why, but you may not be able to review my stories. So if you have a comment you want to leave, just pm me.

I proudly ship:








Topher/Bennett (Why, Joss? WHY?!)


If you have run into a window that you thought was an open door copy this into your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of that 8 percent that would be laughing their bums off.

98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers would stop breathing if Twilight told them to. If you're part of that 98 who would stop breathing so they could pretend to be vampires, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, deathxbyxdawnxgurl, weasleybabe24, ga nat nat, evil older sister, Frozenfan, slygirl16, Raxacoricofallapatorius, zotlot, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, hollowbastiongrl

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you like it when your room is a mess, but your mom/dad disagrees, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Koki-chan (Everyday, I think my stairs are cursed), Majickal (over at my mom's friend's house...which was very embarrassing because I almost broke my nose), Neassa (let's not get into it...), Peridot-Horntail (Try running to the bus in a panic and then realize mid-flight fall you were going the wrong way.), your.lazy.lover (i wear socks in my home and my steps are carpeted, the result being...), Hawkstra (had a bruise on my chin for a week), StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey (just pack full the biggest trip backpack you have, then go on a school trip and try to climb up the stairs with your backpack on your back... P.S. I caused a domino effect), hollowbastiongrl

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room for no reason, put this in your profile.
If you have ever fallen on your butt and just sat there and laughed like a lunatic, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been called 'weird', 'crazy', or 'odd in the head' and think that description is accurate, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like bubbles, copy and paste this into you profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, copy this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

Also, it's not 'nerd' anymore. The term is 'intelligent badass'.

If you have ever forgotten your phone number when someone asked for it copy this onto your profile.

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever yelled at inanimate objects after you ran into them and got mad, put this on your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turky Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile.

If you are part of the PN association put this in your profile (PN - procrastinate now... but if you were a procrastinator, wouldn't you procrastinate your procrastination, while still procrastinating to do that??(ow))

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh, when you put on a Halloween costume in the middle of the year for no reason and walk around the park singing a random song. Crazy is when you have an argument, or bet against yourself, and lose. Crazy is when you throw a stick at a fence to see if it's electric. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. (o.o whoa)

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh becase you are all the same.

When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.

We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.

They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!

I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my enemy to go swimming.

Heaven kicked me out. Hell was afraid I'll take over.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.

"I want to die in my sleep like my great grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car..."

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

"Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive, anyway."

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough! cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money: Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. (Reason I joined) WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason! I have already called dibs on Japan so IT IS MINE!

9. You won’t have any trouble asking your crush out because he/she would be too scared to say no

10. You can get a discount on your purchase every time you shop on the black market

11. The bad guys always get to wear the coolest looking outfits

12. Unlike the good guys, the bad guys don’t have a curfew.

13. Bad guys have tons of fan girls, so you won’t have any trouble getting a date for homecoming or prom (that is if you are a boy.)

14. If you prove that your are evil enough, you get a cool sports car!

15. Many evil organizations are now giving a free gift basket to every new member.

16. I here that the insurance is lot better too (Dark Vaderie’s insurance even covered the damages on the Death Star!)

17. A large majority of the girls on the dark side are hot.

18. You get to go to those fun little pizza parties with all the other evil villans.

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I've got to admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Unless life also give you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Elmo knows where you live!

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxicated by my very presence

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge, I grab a paddle and save your dumb butt.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Really Really Awesome Quotes:

Barbossa: What are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'?
Barbossa: No, what are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'?
Barbossa: No! What are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'? Captain gives orders on the ship.
Barbossa: The captain of the ship is givin' orders.
Jack Sparrow: My ship, makes me captain.
Barbossa: They be my charts!
Jack Sparrow: Well, that makes you...chartman.


Edmund Pevensie: Yeah, I know. You had it sorted.


Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and won!
Chandler: Ross came fourth and cried!


This one was between my friend Danielle and I while we were watching Underworld. It was at the very end where Michael has become half lycan half-vampire and he's about to attack Victor.

Danielle: Why is he colored like that?

me: Because if they gave him a black nose and whiskers he wouldn't be very intimidating?

Danielle: Meow! Killer kitty!


Mrs. B: Damie, is that you hopping?

Damie: No

Mrs. B: Then who was it?

Damie: Um...we weren't hopping, we were moving aggresively.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ero Illic by magsdalena reviews
Oh, secrets. When Annabelle Malfoy steps into the school as a sixth year, secrets are everywhere. What is she doing here so late? Why is her last name Malfoy? She meets true friends, teachers, and Harry Potter. But one secret can destroy her life forever.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 84,973 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 12/11/2011 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Harry P., OC
Storms by AliceEl1zabeth reviews
Left by Edward in the woods, Bella moves on with Jacob as Edward faces an eternity of regret. Four years later, engaged to wed & facing a life she doesn’t want, Bella struggles against what she wants most as Edward fights for her love & his redemption.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 118,487 - Reviews: 478 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 8/17/2011 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Second Chances by VampireSlayer101 reviews
Sequel to "The Greatest Magic is Love". Riley thought she was completely done with Narnia until she's transported back to help a Prince in need. When she reunites with the Pevensies, Riley is torn between loving Peter and a man from her own time. ENJOY!
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 60,782 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 4/11/2011 - Published: 1/13/2009 - Peter Pevensie - Complete
Sophia the Forgotten by emogirl1790 reviews
Sophia gave her life to protect her people from the Telmarines, and when killed finds herself back in England. 1 year later she's back, along with the greatest evil Narnia must face. Her strength will be tested, but she will not be alone. EdmundxOC
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 61,758 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Edmund Pevensie - Complete
He's a She? by Wicked'elphaba-fiyero reviews
After running away from home, Elphaba has nowhere to go, she is forced to pose as a boy servant to Fiyero and his parents to keep from living on the streets...will she be discovered? Fiyeraba, brief/implied Flinda. COMPLETED
Wicked - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 89,804 - Reviews: 705 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 12/5/2009 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Elphaba T., Fiyero T. - Complete
Why One Ought to Daydream in Science Class by kz and the snazzy plotbunnies reviews
Here's the magic equation: take 1 Narnia geek and add said geek into Narnia, taking into account the variables of an arch nemesis, a best friend, and a crush coming along for the ride too. The result? Actiony things and insanity abound! Ed/OC. Sum inside.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 35,826 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 11/26/2009 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Edmund Pevensie
It's Better When I Bleed For You by xxSiLvErDrAgOnxx reviews
When Laurent and Bella cross paths in the meadow, Alice sees that Bella doesn't manage to escape before Laurent attacks her and all goes black. But what Alice can't see is the arrival of the pack, interupting Laurent's meal. 80 years later in Chicago... ::Hiatus::
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 68,693 - Reviews: 1927 - Favs: 2,447 - Follows: 2,424 - Updated: 10/4/2009 - Published: 5/22/2008
Malfoy and the Mudblood by Jessica Lynne Greenleaf reviews
This story does not follow years six and seven, and slight alterations to previous years. A fourth member of the Golden troop Harry, Ron, and Hermione starts off sixth year be partnered with Draco for a project. Will she survive? Please Review! Draco/OC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 65 - Words: 214,988 - Reviews: 730 - Favs: 351 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 5/27/2008 - Draco M., OC - Complete
Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory by Femme Bono reviews
What happens after the light leaves Snape's eyes. WAF, Death, H/C
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,704 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Severus S. - Complete
Impossible, Previously titled Defying Destiny by twoofakind reviews
Zooey - a modern teenager - is taken from her home and thrust into Narnia. When fate threatens to tear her away from the Pevensies, Zooey decides to make her own destiny. To fight fate in order to help her friends and save the blond boy she has fallen for
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 30,219 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 5/26/2009 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Peter Pevensie
The Greatest Magic Is Love by VampireSlayer101 reviews
Riley Penning is transported to Narnia where she meets High King Peter Pevensie. But, a dark power is trying to take over Narnia. It is up to Riley to save everyone, or she'll lose the one thing that makes sense in her world. Peter/OC
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,884 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Peter Pevensie - Complete