samshair
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Joined 01-07-09, id: 1796656, Profile Updated: 11-17-11
Author has written 22 stories for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Final Fantasy VII, Angel, Firefly, and Chuck.

November 17, 2011

I'm sorry to say there will probably be very few posts for me until late December (my holidays) because school is my priority right now, and apparently calculus waits for no woman. Beta will still be available, and if for some reason, someone wants to contact me, I'll try to check my PMs every evening.

Live long and prosper.


Hey FF.netters, It's MelloMania! You can call me Mel. Or Lo. Or Ia. But not Man, since I'm a girl, and that'd be weird.

I tend to write humor, a lot in the Whedonverse. I'm trying to branch out now, but that might take a while.

Pairings, well, I don't really bother with them. If it's canon, I deal. If it isn't, I accept. The only ones I REALLY can't stand are Willow/Kennedy, and, umm...I guess that's the only one.

As for Mary Sues and Self Inserts, it's always a good laugh to read hopelessly unaware Suethours doing their thing, but the fact is: I DON'T DO SUE. Original characters are good- if they're done properly. I try to avoid OCs all together because I'm not very good at creating characters - that's part of the reason I write fan fiction, not original fiction. On the topic of Mary Sues, have you done the Litmus test? Link:

http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm


The status of my multi chapter, One or the Other is in-progress. Chapters should be posted weekly, usually on Thursday or Friday, because I write during my English class, which is so boring, and I've found it's a great time to write, since it doesn't look as suspicious as doing it in, say, gym class.

Also, a note on my stories - Fixed is first. Read it first. Unless you want to keep up the tradition of FOX airing Firefly in the wrong order, in which case, One or the Other, then Fixed.


Feel free to fill out orders and post/send them to where you see fit. I made this to take a break from being snarky, but if you'd like to order a unit, I suppose you could send it in.

“YOUR CREATIONS” ORDER FORM

Name:

Age:

Country:

Do you own any other units?

If so, which ones?

Do you have a criminal record?

If so, what is on it?

Is your credit card valid?

Are you eligible for our Buy one, get one free promotion?

(Just kidding! Like we’d ever give you a deal).

Which unit do you want? (List all that apply).

Would you like an owner’s guide with it? (Guides can be found online, but for some reason, some stupid people want a paper copy. Just to kill the environment, I guess).

Are you willing to accept the terms and conditions including:

-You must cover all costs including hospital, food, clothing, and oil changes.

-You must make sure any underage units are attending a school of some type, unless the unit falls under any of these categories:

-Genius

-Demon that can be easily identified as such

-If your unit goes on a murderous rampage (which they usually don’t, but we might as well cover everything), you MAY NOT hold our company responsible, just as when your child goes on a murderous rampage, you MAY NOT hold the doctor that delivered them responsible.

If you agree, please provide your e-mail and contact information, and your unit will be shipped to you within five days of our receiving your order. If you would like to cancel your order, or if you’re too impatient to wait for it to arrive and you have to know where it is RIGHT NOW(!!), contact us at

www.yourcreations.com/BuyMore (Chuck related)

www.yourcreations.com/whedon (Mutant Enemy related)

www.yourcreations.com/other (Other related)

But we’d appreciate if you didn’t. We get enough annoying e-mails as it is.


Also on the topic of Owner's Manuals, I'm taking requests for any character you could possibly think of. Go crazy. Want Spock? We've got Spock. Want Barney Stinson? We've got LOTS of Barney Stinson (at half off!)! Want Link? We've got Link! Want Sue Sylvester? Too bad, I dislike Glee. Want Dean Thomas? Want some bubblegum? Want a LIFE?

ME TOO!

Just private message. First come first serve!


On a more serious note, I'd like to announce to the public that I'd really enjoy working on a fic with someone...anyone, really. Maybe I could help out a newbie, or work on improving my skills with an established member. If anyone's interested, or has a story in mind, feel free to pitch. I'll work on nearly any book fandom, so go for it. Include me in your awesomeness.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Numfar's New Job by H-FREAK reviews
Just a little drabble. Numfar earns some supplemental income.
Angel - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/10/2010 - Complete
Summers Versus Cullen by oh-you-pretty-things reviews
Buffy meets Edward. Nuff said. Buffy X Twilight.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 370 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Buffy S., Edward - Complete
Hairdo by Alumia reviews
Mikami was busy relaxing when a certain Misa Amane appeared out of nowhere in his living room and burst into song. Wait... Was she singing about his hair?
Death Note - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,143 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Mikami T., Misa A. - Complete
Invasion of the Mary Sue by snarryvader81 reviews
Gasp! An indescribably beautiful American exchange student has come to Hogwarts! Everyone seems to think she's great, except for Severus Snape. What's the poor potions master to do when she sets her sights on Harry, his lover? HPSS SLASH HGDM slight HGSS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,302 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/14/2008 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Where do I run? by si-star-x reviews
No spoilers, just set in season 6 somewhere, I think. Running in no direction, where will Buffy end up? Spuffy
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 730 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/7/2006 - Buffy S., Spike - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Devon: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
The long title: Devon: The Awesome Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual. For those of you who don't have your manual with you all the time. So, really...for ALL of you.
Chuck - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 623 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/13/2011 - Devon W./Capt. Awesome - Complete
Chuck: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
Fold up your manual to make paper airplanes? Shred it with your last set of ransom notes? Here's a fresh copy. Not with the permission of Schwartz or Fedak.
Chuck - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 784 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/11/2011 - Chuck B. - Complete
Casey: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
Did Bryce leave your manual under your bed and have you expelled from Stanford? We don't know how the heck that'd work, but to avoid such a disaster, here's an online copy of your guide to John Casey!
Chuck - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,058 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/11/2011 - Casey/Alex C. - Complete
Fixed reviews
Serenity spoiler because you just never know - River at the funeral.
Firefly - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 183 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/23/2011 - R. Tam, Wash - Complete
Faith: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manal reviews
Did you lend your manual to the neighbour who never gives anything back? Is it lost because you took it on vacation and forgot it in a taxi? Did we accidentally send you the wrong guide? not likely ! Well, here it is, in all it's instruction-y glory!
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/23/2011 - Faith L. - Complete
Beauty Is The Beast
When Sarah Marsters arrives at SHS, everyone loves her. Canon occurrences are put in blatant disregard. Buffy's plots are stolen. And worst of all - there's a 2D character! Sue Bashing. T for violence.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,308 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Buffy S.
Anya: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
Did you burn your manual in place of firewood? Lose it in the divorce? Didn't think so, but if for some reason you no longer have it, here's a handy online copy. Unless you lost the computer, too. Then there's a problem.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,164 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/21/2011 - Anya J. - Complete
River: The Owner's Guide And Maintenace Manual reviews
Instruction booklet is problematic? Lost it to the Black? Here's a new, clear, easy-to-assemble guide to RIVER TAM.
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,050 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Published: 12/17/2010 - River - Complete
Jayne: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
Out there in the black, a lot of things can go missing. Like your manual. And since we're talking about Jayne, here, it's probably a GOOD thing to have one handy.
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,210 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Jayne - Complete
Spike: The Owner's Guide And Maintenance Manual reviews
After tending to a large suspicious? fire at our Headquarters, we are back, posting these online so you don't have to go through the garbage bin you threw the manual out in last week.
Angel - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,152 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/10/2010 - Published: 11/5/2010 - Spike - Complete
Jonathan: The Maintenance Guide and Owner's Manual reviews
Is he too short? Give him some steroids. Or maybe you ordered WARREN but got this guy. Try to make do, I'm too lazy to ship out anything new right now.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/5/2010 - Jonathan L. - Complete
Giles: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Maunal reviews
Was he knocked out again? He'll come to, and be miraculously healthy afterward every time! That's GILES, and that's not his only problem.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,317 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 20 - Published: 8/3/2010 - R. Giles - Complete
Fred: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
You're stupid, we're smart, read the #*%& @ manual next time. Also- Spoiler filled.
Angel - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,397 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Fred B. - Complete
Xander: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
I think you get the drill by now. You're dumb, we're not, so we released an understandable manual.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,364 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Updated: 7/19/2010 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Xander H. - Complete
Willow: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Maunual reviews
Tired of confusing Chinese instruction booklets? Try this one. My first language is English.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,231 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Willow R. - Complete
What Ever Happened To Cordelia Chase? reviews
Xander wakes up to a giant cockroach, and wonders what Cordelia's up to. Buffy S4, Angel S1. Episode: Rm w/ A Vu
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Xander H., Cordelia C. - Complete
And The Winner Is reviews
Today marks the opening of the first ever Final Fantasy VII Awards! Probably the last, too, so enjoy it while you can, and let Red Carpet hosts Reno and Tifa guide you through the Teen rated story.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,372 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Reno
Buffy: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
Sick of BUFFY sneaking out at night? Want her to stop dating ANGEL from down the street? Read this handy manual and have all some of your questions answered! Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon, darn it!
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,354 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Buffy S. - Complete
Angel: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual reviews
Want to know why your unit seems to have adopted a child? Turned into a puppet? Well, you should have read the manual, moron. But fear not, here's an online version so you don't have to search your house for the one you already recycled.
Angel - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,089 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Angel - Complete
Lorne: The Owner's Guide And Maintenance Manual reviews
Will your LORNE refuse to come out of his room? Is he using too much hot water? Is his singing starting to annoy you? Maybe you didn't read the manual properly. Now's the time to read it once more, and get things settled.
Angel - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 974 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Lorne - Complete
Tutor reviews
Epic fail of a one shot. Don't read it. It burns Summary: Andrew meets a nice girl.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 443 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/9/2009 - Andrew - Complete
Choices reviews
After activating the Slayers, Buffy has a dream about the First Slayer. But there was no cheese.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 495 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Buffy S. - Complete