Author has written 1 story for Will of the Empress.
A Little about my self:
I was born on May 28 199x.
I have an older brother
I love to read.
I like manga and anime
My favorite author is Tamora Pierce.
I love all music except rap. I hate rap.
My cousin is on Fanfiction and is posting amazing stories please check out Killer ladybug's stories.
My Friend is on Fanfiction and is posting amazing stories please check out Warfang's stories.
I mainly got my account so I could leave signed reviews. I do have many story ideas floating around in my head though they rarely make it unto paper
10/7/2012: I just made a Facebook account for my Fanfiction and Gaia profiles. It is Yoseisame Smith.
I now have an new email devoted to Fanfiction and the new Facebook account. it is yoseisame at gmail
This is me and my cousin Killer Ladybug
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
If guys came and took me to the loony bin, I wouldn't blame them.
How to live a long life: Don't annoy the crazy people.
Don't follow me, I'm lost too
Haha. I don't get it
This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.
God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve.
It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?
That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.
This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.
For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Don’t play dumb with me, I'll always win.
There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.
I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't need him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes..
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.
If you've fallen off a cliff, you might as well teach yourself how to fly on the way down.
Blow shit up, have a blast, destroy at random, and do it fast.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel... of course it's usually just an oncoming express train.
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
-Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity.
-I'm nobody...Nobody is perfect... so I'm BETTER THAN YOUUUUUUUUUUU
"First, God made men... but then he had a better idea"
It takes 42 muscles to frown, but just 28 muscles to smile. Though it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure does make misery a whole lot more pleasant.
I have a grip on reality--just not this particular one.
I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?
One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions
Tell your voices to SHUT UP...I can't hear mine...
I didn't fall from heaven, I rose from hell.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run- he hates that.
"I’m here cuz Heaven wouldn’t take me, and hell was afraid I’d take over..."
Don't follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls!
Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it!
You aren't drunk until you have to grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird
Be OPTIMISTIC... all the people you hate are eventually going to die!!
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much
Have you ever heard that stupidity is a virus? Careful you might catch it! Ahh, too late...
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid
"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!
I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide
If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problem.
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor's cute, screw the fruit!
No Trespassers! Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again.
Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!!
The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Normal people make good pets.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Where negotiation and diplomacy fail, high explosives substitute nicely
I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was going to blame you!
Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
The Top Ten Reasons Why Anti-Gay Marriage People Are Stupid:
1) Being gay is not natural. We all always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in the world.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. And why we force widows or widowers to remarry if they have children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
25 reasons I owe my mother
1) My mother taught me to appreciate a good job done (If you’re going to kill each other go outside, I just cleaned up)
2) My mother taught me Religion (You better pray that comes out of the carpet)
3) My mother taught me about time travel (If you don’t straighten up, I’ll knock you into next week)
4) My mother taught me logic (Because I said so, that’s why)
5) My mother taught me more logic (If you fall out of that swing and break your next you can't come to the store with me)
6) My mother taught me foresight (Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.)
7) My mother taught me irony (keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about)
8) My mother taught me about the science of osmosis (shut your mouth and eat your supper)
9) My mother taught me about the weather (that room of yours looks like a tornado went through it)
10) My mother taught me about contortionism (Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck)
11) My mother taught me about stamina (You will sit there until all that spinach is gone0
12) My mother taught me about hypocrisy (If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don't exaggerate)
13) My mother taught me about the circle of life (I brought you into this world and I can take you out)
14) My mother taught me about behavior modification (stop acting like your father)
15) My mother taught me about envy (there are millions of children in the world who don't have great parents like you do)
16) My mother taught me about anticipation (Just wait until we get home)
17) My mother taught me medical science (If you don't stop crossing your eyes their going to freeze that way)
18) My mother taught me about receiving (Your going to get it when we get home)
19) My mother taught me about Esp. (put your sweater on, don't you think I know when your cold)
20) My mother taught me about humor (when that lawnmower cuts off your toes don't come crying to me)
21) My mother taught me how to grow up (If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up)
22) My mother taught me about my roots (Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?)
23) My mother taught me about wisdom (when you get to be my age you'll understand)
24) My mother taught me about justice (One day you'll have kids and I hope and that they turn out just like you)
25) My mother taught me about collective minds. (Put a sweater on I’m cold)
92 % of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 % that would be laughing your ass off.
The next time someone tells me 'Stick and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' I will throw a dictionary at them.
The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think. Re-post if you're against bullying.
The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight:
1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon.
2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.
3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.
4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.
5. Author Stephanie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.
6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.
7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.
8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.
9. . When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.
10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.
11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I'm going to squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out"?
Who was the first person to look at a chicken and say, "I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of that thing's butt"?
Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?
Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?
Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?
If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order?
Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?
10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horoscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing
Man: Where have you been all my life?
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a cliff. I laugh Even Harder.
Last night I played a blank tape full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If you choke a Smurf what color does it turn'?
Don’t let your mind wander. It’s too little to be out on its own
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent
You know you're crazy when you know the Men in white by name
Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.
Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil
Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.
I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.
You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home.
Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
School: A Place Satan invented while High.
The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
I hear voices and they don't like you
Smile -- it confuses the enemy
I'm not bossy. I just have better ideas.
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree.
Cheer up! the worst is yet to come.
I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain
I don't need your attitude. I got one of my own
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on
I'm smiling. That really should scare you.
Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.
When in doubt, push random buttons!
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing
Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.
A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!
I don't get even, I get odder.
I have a photographic memory, but it takes a day to develop.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.
An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"