Author has written 18 stories for Twilight, Inception, Covert Affairs, Charmed, Dark Angel, Pretty Little Liars, and Glee.
Bella's Top for her Birthday Outfit:
(On the white mannequin-for shirt.)
Bella's Tank Top for her Birthday Outfit:
Bella's Wedding Dress:
Bella's After Wedding Dress:
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.
read this if you hate racism.
Copy and paste this if you were on Team Edward, and then realized he was a jerk, and fell in love with Jacob Black.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled 'BANG', I don't think you'd kill to many people.
i'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics.
I'm the girl who every no's her name, for good or for bad. Im the girl that if you call my friend a brat i WILL say something.
I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me.
Im the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not.
Im the girl that walks like i am proud.
Im the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side.
Im the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone.
BUT i'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse.
Im the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance.
Im the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad.
Im the girl who acts shy one second and the next i will be laughing like an idot.
Im the girl that people call "Bitch" and "Freak" "brat" and "Weird" but i take that as a compliment.
Im the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and i write.
Im the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.
Im the girl who isnt always a people person.
Im the girl that doesnt WANT or NEED a boyfriend.
Im the girl who thinks boys arent worth my heart, because who gives away their heart to be broken?
Im also the girl they call "friend" you are not alone.
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumb cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line.
Ha ha u fell for it!!
kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top 's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first 's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been received.
Girl: Why do you like me?
Her name was Aurora
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
Fun Things To Do On An Elevator. (:
1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
11) Meow occasionally.
12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.
19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"
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