Poll: Who do you think is so annoyingly annoying in Twilight, that you could just the most horrible thing you can think of em now! Choose up to four! Vote Now!
Author has written 6 stories for Twilight, and 07-Ghost.
, just to let you know i hate jacob black down to his wolfy nose so if u are in love with jacob, get outta here!!
Okay,as you can tell by my pen name,I'm sexy and fluffy!! (my slippers are especially fluffy!)
My real name...I can't tell you,soz. If you like, you can me Fluffball!!
Age: Well thats quite hard to say. i could say the age im stuck at, or my vampire age. I think i will just stick at watever age u think my attitude gives to me.
and Interests: listening to music, reading, watching TV, hanging out with friends and shopping. Oh yeah and arguing pointless arguments with my frends over texts about twilight realated things.
Color: Lime green!! Woooo!
Food: Yorkshire pudding w/ gravy
Sport: ummmm... gymnastics
TV show: simpsons & neighbours
Movies:Harry Potter 1,2,3,4,and,5, TWILIGHT(when it comes out),Pirates of the Caribbean 1,2 and 3 and angus thongs and perfect snogging!!
Actors and Actresses:Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom Emma Watson, Kristen Stewart, and Robert Pattinson,.
Singers:Rihanna, Avril Lavigne, leon jackson, beyonce,sometimes Michael buble ...AND SO MANY MORE.
Books:TWILIGHT series, Harry Potter, and clarice bean
i Just 'made' a few cool lists of REALLY random stuff!!
Don’t do drugs…If you’re gonna get caught!! Hehe!!Jasper and Emmett’s list of HOW TO ANNOY EDWARD!!
1. Prance around the house singing Madonna’s ‘Like a virgin’ at the top of your lungs every morning.
2. Especially loud when Bella is around to hear it.
3. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been ‘sleeping’ with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.
4. Hire a stripper to pop out of the wedding cake XD
5. Buy a sex-ed book and shove it in his locker, making sure that whenever he decides to open it that it falls out, in clear view of the school.
6. Make sure and tell Aro that Edward wants to elope with him.
7. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob
8. Program his locker to—whenever he opens it to sing (LOUDLY)
YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS, SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! HERE WE GO NOW! YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! GET HORNY NOW!
And repeat. Over and over and over.
9. Tell him it was Jacob’s idea.
10. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he’s thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it’s just you.
11. Ask him where babies come from. Tell him he’s stupid when he won’t answer your question.
12. For his birthday give him a 100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn’t eat food.
13. Post his phone number and address on e-harmony.
14. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul.
15. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.
16. Steal his Vanquish and program his radio to only play Lollipop –unedited of couse. Make sure he can’t turn it off or get it replaced.
17. Replace his ringtone with ‘Outta my head’ by Asheele Simpson. Make sure he can’t change it.
18. Color on all his Bella pictures with Permanent marker.
19. Refuse to replace them.
20. Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween.
21. Get offended when he refuses.
22. Take him to Victoria’s Secret with Alice.
23. Constantly whisper in his ear “Chinese Fireball….ooooooooh!” (HP REFERENCE)
24. Ask him how his bath with Harry was (HP REFERENCE.).
25. Constantly remind him that he almost lost Bella to a dog.
26. Key his car. ‘Jacob and Edward LURVE’
27. Get him on that show ‘intervention’. Make sure everyone knows he addicted to heroin.
28. Tell him you have Bella as a witness if he denies it.
29. Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you.
30. Call him a liar when he says no.
31. Throw boysenberry flavored muffins at him every time he tries to speak.
32. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton.
33. Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike.
34. Ask him if Charlie is secretly a unicorn.
35. Make him watch the twilight movie.
36. Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues.
37. Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob.
38. Train the dog to follow him everywhere. P.S. Make sure he doesn’t eat it.
39. Ask him why he’s not as hot as Robert Pattinson.
40. Ask him if he’s a virgin.
41. When he says yes, take a picture of him and tape it to the 40 year old virgin movie poster.
42. Make him watch Hairspray with you. Ask him why he’s not as hot as Zac Efron.
43. When he says that he is, ask him why he wasn’t the star of the singing high school people.
44. Tape porn to his walls.
45. Make sure Bella sees it.
46. Nail his CDS to the ceiling along with his Stero.
47. Refuse to take them down.
48. Tell him Jacob thinks he’s a sex god.
49. Tell him Jane thinks he’s better than a sex god.
50. Start singing ‘Paper cut’ around him. Constantly.
tad ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Are u on the floor laughing, getting up then hit your head on something? Same here!
30 ways to piss off Jacob Black! Make a note of it then stalk him and then do all of this stuff to him:
1. Make over 1000 copies of the icon which repeats the phase: Jacob Balck must die!
2. Put it EVERYWHERE he can see it.
3. Make it the world's newest catchphase
4. Blame the whole thing on Sam and/or Emmett and/or Jasper and/or Edward
5. Buy him a dog and tell the dog to take him for a walk
6. Make the sign of the cross near him and say very loudly: IN THE NAME OF EDWARD THE SEX GOD AND DEFFO NOT THE STUPID MUTT JACOB!
7. Tell Jacob hes a good doggie when he comes out of the toilet
8. Tell him he cant have chocolate because it will kill him
9. Tell him that Nessie has died
10. Tell him that it was Edward who killed her
11. Make sure that Edward, Bella and the rest of the Cullens are safe before doing numbers 9 and 10
12. Make sure he knows that Leah imprinted on him
13. Blame Leah...
14. Announce that Nessie has three other boyfriends called Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie and Tyler Crowley!
15. Tell him that La Push sucks
16. See if he notices the pun (make sure that a vampire said it to him and that a vampire is in La Push)
17. Remind him every five minutes that Edward can also share his thoughts
18. Spread a rumour that both Nessie and Leah are pregnant
19. When he says he doent care if Leahs pregnant, remind him of her birthday party
20. When he doesnt remember, tell him that he snuck off with Leah when he enloped with her!
21. When he is about to punch you, tell him that you heal fast
22. Tell him that was how it was for Bella when she hit him
23. Take him to see the Twilight film and ask him if he knows he was almost fired from the film because he was crap
24. Make sure Bella has a force field around you first
25. Remind him that Nessie is under 13 so she cannot enlope with him
26. She can however do it with her other three bfs
27. If your bored, remind him of his time with Bella when Edward left
28. Tell him he should have raped her then and there and everything would be different now...
28. Remind him that his fan girls are losing interest
29. Stage whisper to Emmett that Jacob lost Bella to a dead person
30. Tell him that you hate him so much that actually you: A. Bothered to write this, B. Actaully bother to copy and post this onto your profile or C. You bothered to read this!
I found this:
Did you know that not everyone can lick their elbow?
Did you know that 70 of people reading this will try to lick their elbows right now!
¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
So basically i hate racism, and jacob black so far (as u would have guessed!) i love alice search up my frends XShoppingWithThePixieX and BiteMeCullenJustDoIt - she has immense stories!!
-On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
THE DUMB EMMETT SECTION!! This section is for people like Emmett: Who need a (very big) push in the right direction... IM TLK: TWILIGHT EDITION!! BFHNSE: Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Eddie! :Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Emmett! BFHNSJ: Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Jasper! EAMC: Edward Antony Mason Cullen/Sex God IDGAC: I Dont Give A Cullen OMC: Oh My Carlisle OME: Oh My Edward/Eddie OMDE: Oh My Dazzling Edward/Eddie Tw: Twilight NM: New Moon Ec: Eclipse BD: Breaking Dawn MS: Midnite Sun Number 3: Sex ...: Sex (Mamma Mia Reference) Dog/Mutt/Pup/Loser/Stink/Son-In-Law/Jake/Jakey/Mongrol/Puppy/Shuuder/Imprintee/Shape-Shifter/Were-Wolf/La Pushees: Jacob I do have many more names for Jacob, but to much swearing on a profile can lead to suspension of account...Or so Ive read...
THE DUMB EMMETT SECTION!!
This section is for people like Emmett: Who need a (very big) push in the right direction...
IM TLK: TWILIGHT EDITION!!
BFHNSE: Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Eddie!
:Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Emmett!
BFHNSJ: Bitch From Hell Not Screwing Jasper!
EAMC: Edward Antony Mason Cullen/Sex God
IDGAC: I Dont Give A Cullen
OMC: Oh My Carlisle
OME: Oh My Edward/Eddie
OMDE: Oh My Dazzling Edward/Eddie
NM: New Moon
BD: Breaking Dawn
MS: Midnite Sun
Number 3: Sex
...: Sex (Mamma Mia Reference)
Dog/Mutt/Pup/Loser/Stink/Son-In-Law/Jake/Jakey/Mongrol/Puppy/Shuuder/Imprintee/Shape-Shifter/Were-Wolf/La Pushees: Jacob
I do have many more names for Jacob, but to much swearing on a profile can lead to suspension of account...Or so Ive read...
Reminder (trust me, you'll need this reminder: I did!!) If you want to almost kill yourself so Carlisle or any other Cullen will save you, do it when it's NOT sunny! And not just when you're crossing the road and think it's a good idea!!
My frend was just txting me and she txted me this. I know its totally random but it's soooooo cool! I did make it up all by herself, well, her brain did help...
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Tell the truth and run.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
"When life hand you lemons, squirt them in peoples faces!"
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. (Its happened before!!)
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the
best in you.
"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."
"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"
"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."
"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"
"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."
"Guns don't kill people. I do."
"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."
"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Ever had writers block when talking?
They a say a pretty face is a passport. But its not, its a visa and it runs out fast!!
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."
People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. Those who wonder what happened. Congratulations on being the captain of the third group.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Straight is something crooked that was bent.
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.
If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.
My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.
Art is like Jacob: It's part of something that you can't live without, something that's like air to you; but, when you can: You skip it all together!! - my friend texted me that randomly one night (it was BiteMeCullenJustDoIt btw) and its actually quite a kewl saying. copy and paste it onto ur profile if u just really cannot be bothered to write a saying of ur own!
Now, lets talk religion! RIGHT!! I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND ANY CHRISTIANS HERE BUT, IF YOU THINK YOU WILL BE OFFENDED THEN JUST SKIP THIS PART!! Ok, 19 questions and other stuff you have always wanted to know about Jesus and God etc.
Did Mary have a Birth Screening to tell if she was pregnant?? ANSWER: NO! If u said Yes then u need help, like moi and matilda!!
The three parts of God: The Holy Spirit raped Mary and knocked her up. God was then the father/rapiest. God was also the son.Work it out? If you did, then your a CHRISTIAN!!
If Joseph was never the father of Jesus, then how is Joseph born of David's line? No answer for that...
Did Jesus die a virgin? Probably!
Who was Jesus enloping with anyone if he wasnt a virgin? Jane from the Volturi silly!!
What posters did Jesus have on his wall? The 40-year-old Virgin and the Sex Pistols!
Jesus was born in May sometime!
Jesus could have been gay if he died a virgin...
His diciples followed him coz they were either from the press wanting the hot gossip or gay stalkers
Jesus was Jewish, so he didnt believe in himself...
If Jesus is God, then he is whole God. If Jesus is his son, he is only half God...WHICH ONE IS IT??
Jesus couldnt have been a vigin because his 'dad' (who is teckanockaly him) had sex with Mary...
He wasnt a virgin since when he was concieved
Mary could have had an abortion to get rid of the baby and then had sex with Joseph and then claimed to be the mother of God
Jesus could have been the offspring of Mary and Joseph and nothing special at all!
IF WE ARE ALL GODS KIDS THEN WHO IS OUR MOTHER??
IF THAT IS TRUE THEN WE ARE ALL ADOPTED!!
IF WE ARE ALL GODS KIDS, THEN WE CAN WALK ON WATER AND CHANGE WATER TO WINE!!
IF WE ARE ALL GODS KIDS THEN JESUS IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERYBODY ELSE!!
HA!! BEAT THAT CHRISTIANITY!!
And now, on with the more interesting and less controversal stuff! also, I made this all up with the help of my Religious Studies class which I am being forced to take! I love our religious debates!!
This is TOTALLY homemade! It's soooo funni right?? It is! (evil smile)
Anyhoooo, I was bored so I surfed the internet (and randomgirl55's profile: See fav authors) for stuff to put in my profile, this is some if the stuff I found:
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile
I agree when people say girls rule now and 4ever. Copy & paste this in your profile if you agree
98 percent of teens have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent that hasn't, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this into you profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your @ off. (Heck YEAH!)
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten your own name, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!
If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever fallen upstairs, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you easily finish one novel a day, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you believe that 42 percent of statistics are made up on the spot, C&P
If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.
90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.
If you are addicted to Fan-Fiction, copy this.
If you've ever asked a question that the person your asking couldn't possibly know the answer to, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile.
Anyway, i need to get some new witty and cool lists, and i really need to write some stories. hmmmmmmm... sumthing about jacob black getting hanged...
ANYWAY... Some nice stuff about friends...
Emmet is the strongest Edward is the fastest But.. jasper can sit there quietly and make everyone laugh FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
Emmet is the strongest
Edward is the fastest
But.. jasper can sit there quietly and make everyone laugh
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)