Tina Cullen
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Joined 01-12-09, id: 1802233, Profile Updated: 07-11-10
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

Name: Wouldn't you like to know

Gender: I have the XX chromosomes

Age: See name

Sign: Cancer (i.e. I am the crab, fear the claws!)

Location: I am here

Friends: Oh Random One, Crazy/Fuzzy

Hobbies: Latin...EGO OMNIA VINCI! MUAHAHA!

Interests: YOU! (I bet you took that personally, huh?)

Beliefs: YOU! That's right reader, I believe in you!

Team (Edward vs. Jacob): Edward

Team (TLight vs. HP): Harry Potter all the way! (Oh you're Twilight you say? AVADA KEDAVRA! MUAHAHA! points to sky MORSMORDRE!)

Facts: I am a writer. I am a recovering Twilight fangirl. I come up with ideas for Fan Fiction in my sleep. I am obsessed with Harry Potter and zodiac signs (Harry Potter was a Leo). Don't judge me. Just judge the stories. And by judge, I mean review.

That is my little bit about me! First: My name is NOT Tina in real life. To make my Pen Name I combined my favorite first name, Tina (AKA Tina Fey) with my favorite last name, Cullen (AKA EDWARD!!) I will admit that I used to be very strongly against Twilight (Team Harry Potter all the way). Don't look at me that way! It was such a trend at my school, every girl had read it and all I ever heard was "Twilight! Bella! EDWARD I LOVE YOU!!" It drove me crazy! I even tried to read it twice with no avail. Then in November, I decided "What they heck?" and bought a copy to give it one more try. LOVED IT! My friends were shocked, for I had previously covered my ears when they talked about Twilight, and now I was all "Twilight! Bella! EDWARD I LOVE YOU!!" And so I turned into a hopeless fangirl. And then, after that I was very strongly against fan fiction. Yeah, I know, right? But the actual story was so good I didn't want anyone messing with it. But my friend, Oh Random One, made me read one. And I laughed until it hurt. So I gave in to comic fan fiction. But I still rarely read ones marked "AU" or "OOC." But I'll read one if you want me to.

Also, I seem sweet and innocent on the surface, but don't be fooled. Just beneath the sweet, lovely girl surface lies a serious pervert.

"I don't know what fascinates me more: fan fiction or my own pathetic life."-Oh Random One, adapted by me
"Why am I covered in feathers?"-Bella Swan "I bit a pillow or two."-Edward Cullen"
"I got a fever and the only perscription is MORE COWBELL!"
"I can see Russia from my house!"-Tina Fey
"Oh My God, it's GOD!"-Jasper Hale "Jasper I am not God."-Author "Oh My God, God knows my name!"-Bad Fanfiction, adapted by Oh Random One and me
"And I kill you, and I kill you, and kill you."- Crazy
"Who would win, a vampire or a giant robot?" -Crazy, who is a Transformers fangirl
"Oh, I'll show you. CRUICO!""...Why are they pointing sticks at us?"-Harry Potter/Twilight/Transformers crossover (yep, its a crackfic)
"She's only interested in you because she thinks your the chosen one."-Hermione "But I AM the chosen one."--Harry
"So, have you ever noticed that the monkey is the only cookie animal to wear pants? And I was just wondering, don't the other cookie animals feel kinda ripped? I mean like, is the hippo going 'hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!' and you know the monkey's just all 'I mock you with my monkey pants!' "-Oz
"I don't think anyone could come up with a stupider plan."-Cordelia "We attack the mayor with hummus."-Oz "I stand corrected."-Cordelia
"You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone!"-Giles
"Giles always says please when he gives me an order. And afterwards I get a cookie."-Buffy
"Just do it, Z-man. Reap the benefits of my sexual wisdom."-Angela Montenegro
"King of the Lab!"-Jack Hodgins and Zack Addy
"I slap you!"-South Park

An update on my current fics, so you people don't think I died, or perhaps don't care anymore (never, my friends. Never):

The Talk with Edward and Renesmee: This fic is finished, and thank you for the positive respose (you like me. You really like me! :') )

Codename S: Alright fanpeople and minions, after months of being completely AWOL, I have updated Codename S. In hindsight, the fact that I didn't get this idea sooner is a real testiment to my creativity. Or maybe I was just too busy fighting the homework ninjas...

Beta Update: If you have already sent me a request to beta a Twilight story, and now notice that I am not listed as accepting requests for Twilight, fear not. I took it down temporarily. If you have already sent me a request to Beta a Twilight story and I said I will read it, YOU ARE NOT AFFECTED.

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Potential by CrayolaMarkers reviews
If Bella had personality and wasn't quite so hard to hate, Twilight could be a good story. If Edward had a reason for being a jerkface and actually changed as a person, Twilight could be a great story. This Twilight re-write is, hopefully, that story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,117 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 3/20/2010 - Published: 3/9/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Official Twilight SmutVent Calendar 2008 by BritishBitches reviews
25 days of smut! The best smut authors on FanFic have come together to create the ultimate advent calendar! Each day leading up to Christmas we will be posting a new chapter, each written by a guest author! Lot's of lemons! Enjoy! x Outtakes now posted!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 137,830 - Reviews: 1123 - Favs: 963 - Follows: 680 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
Bella's Questions by Ms.Naruto-Fan reviews
.From the Author of "Bella's Ipod". Bella has some questions she's just itching to ask the cullens and during the commercials seems like the perfect time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 710 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/4/2009 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2792 - Favs: 571 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
Bella's Ipod by Ms.Naruto-Fan reviews
Edward sneaks into Bella's room while she's taking a shower and listens to her ipod. Little does he know the horror that lies behind the "Not Around Edward" playlist. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,184 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Wishlist by Amethyst Jackson reviews
Written for the Official Twilight SmutVent Calendar. One-Shot. Bella only wants one thing for Christmas; she just has to convince Edward to give it to her.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,794 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 398 - Follows: 79 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8369 - Favs: 7,490 - Follows: 1,724 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Firsts by Alice laughed reviews
Esme learns that firsts don't always happen in chronological order. Rated for lemon. Happy Valentine's Day.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,686 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 43 - Published: 2/14/2008 - Complete
Truth Or Dare by bleedingblackrosez reviews
what happens when Bella and the Cullens play truth or dare? chaos! my 1st fanfics ever, please PLEASE review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,118 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 9/27/2007 - Published: 8/31/2007
Bella's Song by Alice laughed reviews
I have a friend who was a bit frustrated at the lack of adult activity in Eclipse, so I wrote this for her. Edward and Bella are home alone, and she requests her song. ONESHOT SMUT.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,227 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 47 - Published: 9/10/2007 - Complete
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Mission Improbable reviews
The Cullen couples are having marriage problems and Carlisle sees only one plausible solution: a marriage counselor. But what chaos will begin when the counselor suggest a solution which is less then conventional?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/15/2010
Codename: S reviews
Emmett bets Jasper that Bella can't get Edward to sleep with her within a month, and soon the whole Cullen clan becomes involved. Well...except Edward...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,757 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 1/21/2009 - Emmett, Bella
The Talk with Edward and Renesmee reviews
After Renesmee and Jacob kiss, Edward and Bella decide it's time to discuss the Birds and the Bees with her. Chaos ensues with the family.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,340 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 4/14/2009 - Published: 1/15/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Edward - Complete
In the Night reviews
The part we missed on the first night on Isle Esme...oneshot smut
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,915 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
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