Poll: wHAT SHOULD be my next fanfic? Vote Now!
Author has written 2 stories for Danny Phantom, Naruto, and Avatar: Last Airbender.
Evil thy name is Research Paper.
Cluchness thy name is kobe.
...GET THE DIGITAL MONEKY AWAY FROM SCARY WEAPONS! - E Muja SN and TN
Insane logic doesn't seem to make sense but you know it does, while logic makes sense but you know it really doesn't. Only insane people understand insane logic, and logic doesn't work on them. If you think this is wrong, then do you agree or do you disagree with my logic? Agree, and you're insane for believing this crap. Disagree, and you're insane for not believing. Don't you just love insane logic? -15animefreak15/ Ani
All Hail, Princess Mansex! –Heather
" Dude a car just hit your legs" - sinbad
"God made everything he made the birds and the bees the flowers and these trees. and i wanna thank him" - marriage consular
"carrots" - mo
"no need to beat around the bush i'm the best there is i wake up in the morning and piss excellence"-kous
Me and my best friend in a nut shell (not mine found it funny)
A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!
Friends will ask you why you are crying but best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.
She's my best friend, break her heart and I'll break your face!
I used to be normal, until I met those losers I now call my best friends!
Friends hug you good-bye. Best friends attack you in the hallway.
A best friend is the one who can look at you with the biggest smile on your face and still knows something's wrong.
A friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Friends will always be like "Well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "You will die in seven days."
Inside jokes midnight calls crazy nights = Best friends
A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.
A best friend is a girl you can call in the middle of the night and say you killed someone and she would say "Where should we hide the body."
Sometimes I'm clueless and clumsy but I got friends who love me.
Best friends know that you're slow, stupid, and mess around yet they still don't care about being seen in public with you because they're idiots too.
Friends are God's way of apologizing for our families
I agree with the dictionary
A friend will laugh at you when you play the air guitar a best friend will be standing there next to you doing the drum beat on your head
A friend will know your favorite pop song a best friend will know your sercreatly into death heavy metal
Friends will love your mom, best friends will want to marry your mom so they can officiaclly be your father
A friend will start talking like you, with a best friend it will make no sense when you talk
A friend will try and find you a date to the dance, a best friend will be your date
A friend will tell you "yes you do look good in that dress!" a best friend will be telling you, in detail, how hidious you appear
A friend will take a bullet for you, a best friend will be the one pulling the trigger
A friend know of the guy you like, a best friend knows all twelve of them
A friend will keep track of the guy you like a best friend will track the guy you love
A friend will try and calm you down when your pissed, a best friend will be cracking jokes until your over it
A friend will be jealous when they see you kissing a guy, a best friend will be overprotecively ready to kill the poor guy for it
My friends are people who would spend hours trying to drown a fish but I love them to death!
You know you've got the greatest friends when the only time they make you cry is when you're laughing too hard.
-If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice-versa, copy this into your profile
-If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile
-If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
-If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you are in full support of Temari X Shikamaru copy and paste this onto your page
If you ever had the impulse to violently kill the person next to you with your bare hands, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you feel like saying"I know I'm crazy, I don't need confirmation, thank you!" when people give you strange looks copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever tried to finish a book during school and wound up with a load of homework, because you were reading instead of doing work, copy and paste this to your profile. I can't help it! Sometimes they are just too interesting to put down.
If you ever feel like chocking someone with your bare hands, like Homer Simmpson does to Bart, just to see if thier eyes will bug out, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever asked someone's opinion and when they answer you say"Well, who asked your opinion?" copy and paste this to your profile. I personally have never done that, but it would be pretty fun...and pretty annoying. Anywho!
If you consider someone's talking cruel and unusual torture, copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever, or even felt like, smiled and told someone "Thank you!" when someone insults you, copy and paste this to your profile.
If people have ever looked at you and your friends, while you were talking, like you were talking another language, copy and paste this to your profile.
If someone has ever come up to you and your friends, asking "What are you talking about?" and you respond "You wouldn't understand" because you are talking about something they don't understand, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you always have to watch what you say around your freinds because it will be taken pervertedly, copy and paste this to your profile.
If people have ever walked up to you and asked"You're so and so's brother/sister, aren't you." and you are shocked because they weren't that popular...or so you thought!, copy and paste this to your profile.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
Ain't this just so sweet
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough GUTS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated!
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!" -Stewie Griffin
"You know, I do not think that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez
Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.
Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes.
"If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it."
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."
"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."
"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."
"After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done."
"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."
Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.
Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.
You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.
The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe.
Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.
My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
SARCASM is just another free service I offer.
I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.
I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes I just don't show up.
You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Trying is the first step toward failure.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?
Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic.
Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?
I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?
Forgiveness is the scent a rose leaves on the heel that crushes it.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."
“I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” Tony V.
Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.
So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.
Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.
I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.
I hear voices, and they don't like you.
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already
- If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. Paul Beatly
- The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. George Jessel
- Sarcasm is anger with a smile Natalie Hyde
Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain Lily Tomlin
- Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.
- I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke three times. Once when it's said, once when it's explained to me, once five minutes later when I finally get it.
- When I was younger, I hated going to weddings cause all the grandmothers would say, "Your next!" That quickly ended when I started saying that to them at funerals.
Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you're stupid;
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find
Lewis's Law of Travel:
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
Life is wonderful. Without it, you wouldn't know me.
Paranoia: A healthy understanding of the nature of the universe.
Marriage is grand - and divorce is about 10 grand.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Earth is full. Go home.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about.
Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.
The most successful people are those who are good at plan B.
Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,"
"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
A sane mind is a boring one.
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _"
DO YOU KNOW??
On a Sears hairdryer:
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are going into Danny Phantom withdrawl, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.
I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.
65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read,.If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.
If you have Phantom Phever and you know you do, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a little voice inside your head that talks to you constantly and won't shut up, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.
If you think that -/_\- looks like Itachi, copy this into your profile.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
RIP We shall remember!"
Repost this if you laughed...
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."