Poll: Should I continue New Home? Vote Now!
Author has written 9 stories for Skip Beat!, Twilight, Bleach, Ouran High School Host Club, Naruto, and Vampire Knight.
My Deviant art account that has some pics of the OC characters and such. Just starting out. The name is GirlX901. Hope you enjoy them, here is the URL:
Here's some facts about me!
Age: None of yous beezwax!
Height: Uhh...i'm taller than my older sisters!
Things or people i like: Toshiro Hitsugaya, dancing (Ballet mostly), singing, reading, writing (DUR!) chocolate, cookies, pie (mmm, pie), whip cream (OR BOB), hot chocolate, and other things i'll put down when i think of them.
Things or people i dislike: Momo Hinamori (DIE BITCH DIE (Of course i'm a bit nice to her just keep her away from Toshiro and we're good)) and i think that's it- oh no wait i also don't like Voldemort.
Shoutouts:(I'll make more!)
My first shoutout is to
Chained Stone Gargoyle- my best friend! We met here and became great friends! She's one of the coolest people you'll ever know!! YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!!! LOVES YOU!
Trainheartnet13 - who is my best friend! I got her addicted to Fanfiction. We've been best friends ever since I got used to the idea she has bigger boobs than I do. LOVES YOU GIRL!!
I love writing. I'm hoping of one day being a writer and showing my ideas to other people. I take interest in a lot of other peoples stories and i hope that you find mine interest as well.
All men are like parking lots. The good ones are always taken and the rest are handicapped.
Love, Hate, Life, Death, war Peace. Are they just words? What do they mean? What emotions do they hold? Why do they matter?
Okay so i LOVE ANIME!! So i put the ones i lovve in order.
okay the couples i love in the story are Hitsugaya and Karin!! Ichigo and Senna!! Renji and Rukia!! Ulquiorra and Orihime!! Chad and Tatsuki!! Yuzu and Kenpachi or Nel and Kenpachi!! Yuzu and Hanatoru!! Matsumoto and Gin or Kira!! Hinimori and Kira!! Yoruichi and Urahara!! Okay the couples that will never happen. Hitugaya and Hinimori. NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!! over my dead body before that would happen!! Okay they are like siblings, it is wrong. and she's a whiny bitch that needs to get a life. Seriously she needs to get a life, she needs to get over Aizen and personaly i want her to actually kill Aizen. I want her to be happy but not with Toshiro!! and the Yoruichi and Soi Fon No never!! oh and the Kenpachi and Unohana sorry but i think that's a little weird. Oh and that's just a bout it.
My favorite character: Girl: Karin Kurosaki!! Boy: Toshiro Hitsugaya!!
SHO SHOULD DIE!! he is evil, but of course he deserves love just not with Kyouko. Kyouko and Ren all the way. Also Reino deserves someone too. I love her demons they are soo cool! Okay Reino is HOT! to bad he's evil but then again...HOTTER!! I want Ren and Kyouko to get together but somebody needs to love Reino too!
My favorite character: Girl: Kyouko (DUH!) Boy: Reino (SQUEE!)
I LOVE this anime and story: the couples are obvious MaiXNaru (Narcissistic bastard) BouxAya MasXJohn (He can change it a bit to get married) YasuXMadoka. And LINX...i'll figure that out later. (He's hot though.) I love the cases they go on, i can watch them and be biting my nails as i do. It's soo scary...no not really, but you get the idea. I kinda wonder more about Mai's past and my poor poor Gene. I wish they could have a case where they go to Mai's house and it's her parents haunting her. That'd be cool. Oh and by the way Naru...YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO POOR MAI! "You don't love me...you love my brother." BULL SHIT YOU DUMB ASS! I SHOULD HURRY UP AND MAKE THE INVENTION TO GET INTO STORIES AND ANIMES AND KICK YOUR SORRY BEHIND! YOU'D BEST FIX IT YOU NARCISSISTIC BASTARD!!!!! *scary face* OR ELSE!
My favorite character: Girl: Mai Boy:Lin
STORIES: DO NOT STEAL!
Substitute: She will follow in her brothers footsteps. She will take on obsticals. She will have more knowledge than he did. She is the new substitute. HitsuKarin. KenYuz T for now may change.
Basically it's about Karin going to the soul society. She is trained and she has some grudge against Ichigo. Her and Toshiro become great friends and then the friendship turns to something more. Then something has them test their friendship. Years later Yuzu meets Kenpachi. Pairings: Hitsurin, Kenzu, Ichnna, Renkia, and maybe some more.
Karins necklace URL:
See You Again: Abbideil was getting tired of her friend just moping around. so she decides to take matters into her own friends and make Bella a guardian. Where is this new school the Cullens will be going to and just what exactly is Bella guarding.
Abideil (pronounced AbEA delle) is an OC whom is also a princess. She met Bella when young and when she finds out Jacob and Edward hurt her she asks her to be a guardian. Bella becomes friends with Abbideils friends: Yuuki, Belle or Bell (She's French and an Indian), Melody and some others. Bella has to go through some hardships with a war against Victoria and a war against a mysterious evil. What happens when Bella sees Edward again. Does she run into his arms as a lover or does she run into his arms holding her bloody chain? Parings: Zeruuki, Edwella, Jacelle, Kanody, Toudeil, Twilight cannons and more!
This is Gonna be Hell: Meet Rima, Mai, and Noi. Best friends of Haruhi. What happens when they go Ouran and run into the Host club. Oh man this is gonna be hell. KyoyaXoc HikaruXOC MoriXOc i dont own anything.. OH JUST READ IT.
Mai Leigh has a weird past. Izumi Noi was abandoned. Rima Sonia was disowned. Haruhi's mother died. Now they go through funny times and dramatic times with the host club. Noi loves Hikaru but he loves Haruhi who loves Tamaki but wont admit it. Tamaki loves Haruhi but is to damn dumb to realize it. Rima loves Kyoya but doesn't realize it and he sees past her at times. Mai loves Mori but he needs his attention on Hunny. With a huge yet funny dept the people get closer and love may prevail! Lets read to find out. Parings: Tamhi, Hunko, Kaoenge, Hikoi, Kyoma, Moai.
The Angels Lullaby: Meet Ichigos twin sister, Angel.She starts having adventures with her brother, and she meets the one that loves fighting Ichigo. Funny how even though he starts wanting to fight her she falls in love with him. Will love bloom or will it fade like lullaby
Razuberi Angel is Ichigos younger twin sister. As her brother lost his smile, her dark haired sister lost her tears, her youngest sister lost her strength and she lost her belief in her own name and person. As she trains in the soul society where only two people knows she's Ichigos twin she is put under Kenpachis watchful eyes she feels a spark. He feels it too. People find out who she is and Kenpachi wants to fight. Karin and Yuzu are kidnapped. "THERE'S MORE OF YOU!!!" and her best friend rises from the dead. Parings: Ichienna, Kengel, Hitsurin, Byauzu,Shuukuma, Renruki.
Return Home: (COMPLETED) (TO BE REVISED) Kyoko is going on Vacation for two weeks so she decides to go home to her old town. Little does she know Sho Fuwa shows up and so does everybody else for shootings, and recording...and yes president and Maria are on vacation too. New Charector 2
Kyoko comes home and is shocked and mad to find Sho home. Sora turns it into a party and then a bunch more people that know Kyouko show up. Well shit! NowSora is scheming up some Renko and Sho is getting in the way. Easy enough Sora beats Sho. ...then beagle gets in the way. Ren and Kyouko get into some almost kiss scenes and why does Kyouko feel like shes been kissed? Also whos Jake? COMPLETED! Thinking of redoing after finishing Substitute.
New Home: Sequel to Return Home! Kyouko and Sora have moved to Tokyo. Kyouko has a new movie and Sora is facing the death of her true love. Soon though Kyouko will be turning 18 and Sora has to tell her about her father. KyoXRen and ReiXOC a bit
Kyouko gets a new role as an assassin, guess whos her costar. Sora is losing her voice and her life all itself as she fades away from the loss of her beloved Jake. Kyouko wonders on her weird feelings towards Ren and Sora wonders why that damn beagle is helping her. Will Kyouko realize its love? Will Sora come to life again? Will Ren realize that his love towards Kyouko should not be chained? Does beagle love Sora? and the biggest question of all who is going to beat up Sho? Tune in next time of NEW HOME! Parings: Renko, Reira also can be called Bera. Oh and now the moment that will shock most Shoori (he needs a bit of love too I suppose)
Follow the Tail: "Bara clan? What's that?" "It's a clan that was wiped out by Orochimaru. Only three survived, they were the daughters of the head of the clan." "You mean that idiot, the punk, and the...other one?" "O.o'" "That would be them." GarraXOC NejiXOC KakashiXOC
Mai is the eldest and a pervert at that. Rima is the middle and and idiot. Noi is just a punk who will steal your wallet given the chance. Three sisters who have thier clans death in their hearts. A clan who had animal genes in their blood which gave them animal structures. Tails, ears, wings, fins, you name it. Mai is a red fox. Rima is a panther and yet she is called Kitty...and hates it. Noi is a racoon...figures. As Mai still has nightmares of her clans destruction and of her dead brother she also has to deal with an annoying silver haired partner and teaching her team to fight well. Rima is trying to prove she's not an idiot...but not doing well. She's still loved though. Noi is trying to steal more wallets and possessions of others and also trying to figure out why that boy has love scarred in his face. also who the hell is Pretty Princess and why is Rima so in infatuated with..him?! Parings: Narnata, Saikura, Kakai, Nejima, Gaaoi, and much much more.
HERE ARE SOME FUNNY THINGS and OTHER THINGS:!!
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!
If you are a fangirl of any villain, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.
If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile (Every single one of them...)
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.
If you think tat those god-for-saken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.
98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are an absolute anime freak then copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you believe that Chuck Norris is actually Kenpachi Zaraki in disguise, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you believe that the world will end when Kenpachi gets a shikai, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you think that Bleach Vampire fics r awesome, copy and paste this onto ur profile.
If u think I'M mad, copy and paste this onto ur profile.
If u believe that the Soul Society is a real place, copy and paste this onto ur profile.
If you consider your favorite manga/anime character your husband, wife, brother, or sister, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think Gin is good at heart, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both... copy and paste this on your profile.
If you hate IchiHime, paste this in your profile.
About 70 percent of girls in the world are Yaoi fans. If you're part of that 70 percent, then paste this in your profile.
(BOLD the ones you are.) ones in () are my own personal additions!
1) Put your music player on shuffle
2)For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3)YOU MUST RIGHT THE SAME SONG NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4)Post this in your story/profile and answer the questions with the songs
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY? Butterfly by crazy town
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN GIRL RUN!'
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin, "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BestFRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore/Cry with you.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away.
BEST FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Boy, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."
FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!
FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'Its because your gay isn't it?'
IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." ...
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!" (oh memories)
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
What a Boyfriend SHOULD Do:
When she walks away from you mad Follow her
When she stares at your mouth Kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you Grab her and don't let go
When she starts cussing at you Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet Ask her whats wrong
When she ignores you Give her your attention
When she pulls away Pull her back
When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying Just hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared Protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time Reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up
When she says that she likes you she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands Hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes don't look away until she does
When she misses you she's hurting inside
When you break her heart the pain never really goes away
When she says its over she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin she wants you to read it -
Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-
When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's butt am I kicking?"
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Would you do this for me?
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
I hear your silence loud and clear
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Lifes Tough, get a helmet
Only in America, do banks have braile on the drive-thru ATMs.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths
The cops never find it as funny as you do
The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. SHUT UP! NORMAN PWNS!
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms." But what if he is?
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. DAMN IT!
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." That. Was. EPIC!
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. Dun dun. Dun-dun dun dun. dun. DODADO! DODAOOOO! DODADO, DODO! (Mission Impossible Theme Song.)
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. BURN!
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!!!
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.can i use it to make the world a better slytherin free place?
28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
30) I will not go to class skyclad.
31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends."
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
43) I will not lick Trevor.
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
Other Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals
4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches
5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"
6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “
29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
43) I may not have a private army.
44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
46) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
47) -I will refer to Professor Umbridge as such.
48) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
49) Professor Umbridge will
50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
54) - Especially not all of them at once.
55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms.
63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles.
71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry
82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”
84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams.
86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.
87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.
90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.
93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
94) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car.
95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.
96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.
97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.
98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.
99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.
100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever.
105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones.
106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean.
107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".
108) Even if he is.
109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk.
110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward.
111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.
112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.
113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed.
114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do.
115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge.
116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum.
117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin.
118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'.
119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair.
120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either.
121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul.
122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory.
123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod.
124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike.
125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living.
126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts.
127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball.
128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such.
129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise.
130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes.
131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning.
132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White."
133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "AHHH! It's an albino dementor!"
134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas.
135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye."
136) To which I am not allowed to reply.
137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.
138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises.
139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related.
140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately.
141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit.
142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!"
143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger.
144) Portable swamps are not funny.
145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters.
146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms.
147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps.
148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this everytime I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me.
149) My patronus is not a Nazgul.
150) Neither is my animagus form.
151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
152) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears.
153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.
154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.
155) No part of the school uniform is edible.
156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.
157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short".
158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect.
159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June.
160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.
161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.
163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.
164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do.
165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.
166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night."
167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.
168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.
169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin.
170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.
171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.
172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it.
173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".
174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate.
175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.
176) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either.
177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.
178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney.
179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark.
180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood.
181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions.
182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments.
183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign.
"Try Not To Cry"
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
So, Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry and remember how blessed they truly are,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost. And for everyone who never got the chance to say "goodbye" ~No author given
Another Friend and Best Friends, some repeats
FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink
BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food
FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa
BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDP
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail
BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up
FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night
BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process with chick in arms
FRIENDS: Never seen you cry
BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore
FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you
BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend
FRIENDS: Will say you can do better
BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"
FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying
BESTFRIENDS:Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
FRIENDS: Will help you move
BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body
FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall
BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain
BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected
BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail
BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number
BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later
BESTFRIENDS:Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing
BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BESTFRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Are through high school /college
BESTFRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough
BESTFRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, drink the rest of that you know we dont waste
FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend
BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass
FRIENDS: bail you outta jail
BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song
FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house
BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you
FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline
BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you
FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover
BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders
FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them
BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven
FRIENDS: are shy around your girlfriend
BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till she blushes redder than a fire engine
FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick
BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone
FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"
BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you
FREINDS: Will ignore this
WHAT A KISS MEANS
Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
+Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
+Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
+Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
+Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
+Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
+Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"
What the gesture means...
+Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other"
+Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
+Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
+Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
+Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
+Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
+Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
+picking someone up off their feet = "That they love them fully and would do anything for them
A while ago a twelve year old child was approached by a man who said "Deny that Jesus Christ was real, or die." The child did not and was killed, if you would rather be shot than deny the Lord Jesus Christ, copy, paste, and add your name; The Demented Leprachaun, Asturias Child, InkWeaverabc, TheLunyOne, DragongirlM, NormalityIsNonexistant, booklover1398, hardrock1997, GirlX901