Author has written 3 stories for Naruto, and Kingdom Hearts.
8/20/13: DUDE. I JUST READ THROUGH STUFF I HAD ON HERE SINCE SEPTEMBER 18, 2011. GOD, I WAS SUCH A LOSER.
Favorite part of writing a fanfiction: Lemons. They are the funnest part. Why? Because I play One Direction just to stop feeling weird about it. It pumps me up so much. On particularly bad parts of lemons, I sing along.
(From the Simpsons) Person:We have a run-in with John Snyder.
Marge: That bad?
Person: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Person: Well, replace the word kinda with the word repeatedly and the word dog with son.
(From Reba) Cheyenne: I believe that falls under (puts a hand on Van's shoulder) Communications.
Van: I'd like to fall under... a truck.
(From Reba) Cheyenne: Ohhh... there's my little bundle of perfection!
Reba: Awww... you can just call me mom.
(From Final Fantasy VII Advent Children) Reno: Hey, Rude, you're alright.
Rude (while hanging off a helicopter): Yeah, ...I'm just peachy.
(From Final Fantasy VII)Vincent: I have nothing to say.
Yuffie: That's okay, it was probably depressing anyway.
(From Final Fantasy VII Advent Children) Yazoo:Are we having fun yet?
Reno: The time of my life!
(From Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows) Hermione: "There were once three brothers who were traveling along a long, winding road at twilight."
Ron: "Midnight, our mum always told us. Sorry, I just think it’s a bit spookier if it’s midnight."
Harry: "Yeah, because we really need a bit more fear in our lives."
(From Heroes:Thanksgiving) Sylar:"Come on, buddy. That's the best you've got? No big speeches about hope? Triumph of the human spirit?"
Peter: "Why don't you let me out of this chair and find out."
Sylar (to Angela): "And you... You have raised the evil incarnate bar to an entirely new level. Thank you for giving me something to strive for."
(From Lost Season 1, Episode 3) Hurley: Hey, look! Rescuers, we're saved!... Yeah, he's out.
(Lost S. 1 Ep. 2) Charlie: I'm fine!... Charlie's fine by the way!
(Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) (IDK who actually said it)George: What are me and Fred, next-door neighbors?
(Heroes: Clear and Present Danger) Peter: Advice? What advice could I possibly give you besides 'Kiss my ass', Nathan?
(Heroes: Fallout) Ando: I wish destiny would lose our number.
(From Reba) Van: Oh no, the GOLDFISH escaped.
THE KH SURVEY
(Please copy and paste this onto your profile and answer the questions! Spread the KH fever!)
SECTION ONE: The "Favorite" Questions
1. Your favorite KH guy?
Riku. He gets actual character development, while Sora for the most part only ever changes his skills and clothes. Acts the same throughout all of the Kingdom Hearts series. Riku goes from being Sora's best friend, to being a huge antagonist, to helping Sora out without him knowing for the most part.
2. Your favorite KH girl?
Kairi. She's sweet and caring, is cute in the first game and only more beautiful the second game. Plus she's got spunk and a Keyblade, meaning she actually gets to fight. For the good guys too.
3. Your least favorite KH guy? Why?
Saïx. He's annoying, gets in your way during Kingdom Hearts 2 and generally just pisses you off.
4. Your least favorite KH girl? Why?
Larxene. She's a bitch. Seriously.
5. Favorite World? (Includes both KH1 and KH2)
Neverland (I had a hell of a time flying around. I go there sometimes to play on the deck with my flying skills. It's also fun to repeatedly kill the Phantom.)
6. Least Favorite World?
Monstro... and Wonderland (urg...)
7. Favorite Weapon? (Includes both KH1 and KH2)
Oathkeeper and Oblivion together, or the Sleeping Lion
8. Least Favorite Weapon?
Wishing Star, it's so short!
9. Fav. Summon? (includes both KH1 and KH2)
Tinkerbell. She heals you and acts as the only Phoenix Down we get in either game.
10. Fav. Form? (aka. Sora's Forms)
Valor. There's something satisfying about feeling like your beating something's face in.
11. Favorite Pairing? (includes yaoi coupling) Why?
Sora/Kairi. They're the canonical, natural pairing, and they're sweet together.
12. Least Fav. Pairing? (includes yaoi couples) Why?
Any pairing that disses Sora/Kairi or Roxas/Namine.
13. Any cool crack pairings you've heard of? List 'em.
14. Weirdest Pairing(s) You've Ever Heard Of?
15. Any "Kh-pet-peeves" you have?
People who think that Kairi is the most annoying person in the universe.
People who think Riku and Yuffie belong together. (Do they even meet in the game?)
16. Fav. Partner in KH? (includes both KH1 and KH2)
Riku, because now you feel like it's two bros against the universe.
SECTION TWO: Do you believe it, or not believe it?
17. Do you believe in the Xemnas/Saix theory!
No. They don't have hearts, and Xemnas never appeared to know what love was in the first place.
18. Do you believe that Zexion is emo?
No. He just has a cool hairstyle and is usually stuck in a dark room, which give the appearance of emo. We don't see people asking if Laxeaus is emo do we?
19. Do you believe that Marluxia is gay?
No, he's just the only one man enough to have pink hair and wield a scythe that blows the petals of sakura blossoms at us.
20. Do you believe that Kairi is the most annoying character in KH?
SECTION THREE: Answer Yourself!
21. If Roxas had to choose either Namine or Olette, who would you root for? Why?
Namine. While I like Olette, Namine was the one who was helping him to get through Twilight Town. Plus, they are Sora and Kairi.
22. What's your theory on KH: Birth by Sleep?
Three disciples of a master of the Keyblade battle the forces of darkness, but end up being the darkness. Hm, I wonder if I'm right about that. :P
23. Was Chain of Memories a waste of time?
Absolutely not. As long as you play it on the PS2 that is. GBA version is a waste of time. (That's the one I have! O.o)
24. If you had the choice of meeting ONE (and ONLY ONE!) KH character, who would it be?
I don't know really.
25. Which KH character do you relate to the most? Why?
Pence. While I'm the opposite physically from him, I'm a bit of a nerd who goes along objectively with whatever his friends are planning.
26. What's the most embarrassing moment that ever happened to you that had something to do with KH?
I was fighting Hook on CoM and I lost because I forgot that using sleights wastes your cards.
27. Have you ever cosplayed as a KH character? If so, who? If not, who would you like to cosplay as?
No. I wanted to cosplay as an Organization Member, but I couldn't find the cloak.
28. The Funniest Moment in all of KH would be...?
There's not really any good ones.
29. The Hardest Enemy/Boss was...?
Number III, Xaldin, The Whirlwind Lancer. I hate it on CoM when pirate Heartless gang up on you. Also, the stun attack gets on my nerves.
30. What was a good addition in KH2 that made it oh-so-addictive?
The Battle System. Hands down. The plot blew though. But New Worlds, the Drive Forms, the idea of Organization XIII, and a winnable optional battle against Sephiroth were nice. Also the ability to do a barrel roll in the gummi was nice.
SECTION FOUR: Decisions, Decisions...
Note: You MUST only choose one! "Both" or "Neither" in unacceptable!!
31. Hayner or Pence?
32. Zexion or Marluxia?
33. Riku or Roxas?
34. Roxas or Sora?
35. Axel or Demyx?
36. Kairi or Larxene?
37. AkuRoku or SoRiku?
God, why do I have to choose? AkuRoku
38. Namixas or Namiku?
39. Zemyx or AkuRoku?
40. SoKai or SoRiku?
41. Sea Salt Ice Cream or Paopu Fruit?
Sea Salt Ice Cream
42. Cloud or Leon?
43. CloTi or Clerith?
44. Simple and Clean or Passion?
Simple and Clean, purely for the instrumental version.
SECTION FIVE: The Last Section!!
45. List all the KH characters you've fallen for. (This includes Final Fantasy character as well)
46. What crossovers would you like to see with KH?
Kingdom Hearts/Fullmetal Alchemist
Kingdom Hearts/Percy Jackson and the Olymplians
Kingdom Hearts/Legend of Zelda
Kingdom Hearts/Mother series
Kingdom Hearts/Super Smash Bros
47. Does anyone in KH look like another character? List 'em all!
Terra looks like Zack Fair, Ven looks like Roxas (dur), and Axel looks like Reno and Renji from Bleach. And Xion looks like Kairi!!
48. Which new KH game can you abosolutely NOT wait for?
KHIII. It's the only one that hasn't f*cking come out yet.
49. Do you like KH1 or KH2 better? Why?
KH2. See my above answer to question 30. We had one more customizable button, the reaction commands, and we could rotate the camera using the right analog stick.
50. LAST QUESTION! What makes Kingdom Hearts one of the best games in the world!?
The Battle System feels like you're actually doing something, instead of having to keep hitting people until they die to figure out whether or not you were being effective. The relation to Square and Disney is amazing, mostly because Disney has the storylines in different worlds, and Square has the characters to make everything feel badass. Story-wise, it's not bad, but there are certain things that could be done.
1. Who are/is your favorite Naruto character(s)? Sasuke, Naruto, Gaara, Hinata, Lee, Neji, Shikamaru.
2. What is/are your favorite pairing(s)? NaruHina, SasuSaku, GaaMat (barely), ShikaTem and NejiTen
3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? Hmm... Probably Hentai lol, I love gay people, but I'm pretty much a porn addict.
4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? No, cosplay ain't my style.
5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: Nothing
6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? No, because they're not real.
7. NaruHina or KibaHina? NaruHina for Life, Kiba doesn't really fit with Hinata.
8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? SasuSaku. SasuNaru is just weird.
9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7 or Team Gai? Team 7, Team Gai is OK, but really, Team 7 is at the center of the entire series.
10. Do you support the obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) Proven.
11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father theory? Proven.
12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? Pein, his ability is amazing, and he actually has a heart.
13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Pro. He was set down the wrong path, and had the wrong people get to him. If Orochimaru hadn't offered more power, Sasuke might have stayed with Konoha.
14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? No, I don't watch the anime.
15. Have you read all the chapters so far? Yes.
16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? No. He maybe boneheaded, but I don't think ADD is the problem.
17. Sub or dub? SUB! Dub is SHIT!!! Japanese versions for the win!
18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Anti when she's a kid but she's tolerable when she's older
19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Funny
20. Do you even know who Tobi is? Yes
21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? Beast. He is the Green BEAST of Konoha.
22. Which character would be the best crossdresser? Haku. Accept no substitutes
23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? Awesome!
24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how? Probably Sasuke... If he was nicer and smarter and didn't leave the Leaf village, then more people would like him, Kiba is fun OOC.
25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? Hell yeah, they can be cool, but there are SO MANY annoying things writers do. I got a list, here's the order of my list that it's in: It goes bashing, giving too many people the Rasengan, giving too many people actual weapons, giving Naruto like 3 elements, incorrect grammar and spelling is the worst, and bashing. Bashing is right up there with incorrect grammar and spelling.
I will explain. Bashing pisses me off because people being unnecessarily rude and hateful IRL pisses me off. Bashing just kills the mood of the fic. Honestly, I'm not sure I've read a fanfic that doesnt bash either: the village, the council, the village council, Sasuke, Sakura, the Hyuugas, Kiba or some other poor soul.
Has anyone noticed only 4 people in the entire series have the Rasengan? It's supposed to be super hard to learn, the only reason Naruto got it so fast was because he's the child of the man who created it, and he has the Kyuubi.
Weapons. Oh my god, the only one in the Konoha 11 who uses weapons is Tenten and that's her specialty. These are shinobi with abilities greater than any weapon, so why give them any? They're designed to work only with their abilities, so that they aren't weighed down by anything.
Naruto has one element in canon, keep it that way. There is very little reason to give Naruto any other element, as there is no factor in the story that can give Naruto any extra elements. There's no way of knowing if affinity is genetic, besides the Uchiha, but they already have a genetic ability.
Incorrect English just pisses me off and makes it hard to read a story. Go on Google docs, and figure out whether or not that is allowed in the English language. There's nothing more annoying than reading a story that misspells things, or doesn't have quotations. Even lemons. They may be smut, but they are still stories.
Another thing that grinds my gears is that I can't find any story on this site that doesn't have at least one of these things. Some of them have ALL of these.
26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? I'm planning on it, but with the pasts of my stories, it won't happen.
27. Do you like lemons? Porn Addict. Love 'em.
28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? No.
29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? No.
30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? No.
31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? No.
32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? No. I hate drawing.
33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?' No. I hate drawing.
34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? No, Naruto isn't really a huge thing for me.
35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? No.
36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? Yes, I'd love to, to be honest.
37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? No. Disproven.
38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery. No. I hate drawing.
39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? There's something wrong if you like that. When he gets just the black marks on him, he actually looks pretty cool. But when he goes through the whole transformation, it's just weird.
40. Do you have a Naruto OC? No, fuck OC's. I like to keep things close to the original when it comes to stories, because I don't like to screw over a great piece of work by changing it too much.
41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? No. Again, Naruto isn't really a huge thing for me.
PUNCHLINE - What's the difference between a clarinet and Edward Cullen?
Okay, a minister is asking kids where Jesus lives. One little girl said, "In my arm, because he leads me to do good things." Another little girl said, "In my heart because he helps me love myself and others." The third child was a boy, and he said, "In my bathroom, because every morning my father goes to the bathroom and says, 'Jesus Christ, what is taking so long?"
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
There were two muffins in a oven. One muffin says to the other "It's hot in here" the other says "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
PUNCHLINE- What do you call the animal hardest to find?
PUNCHLINE- Where does a woman with one leg work?
PUNCHLINE- A sexy, charismatic blind man walks into a bar. What does he say?
PUNCHLINE- What do you think of a cow with no legs?
PUNCHLINE- What did Kermit the Frog say to Miss Piggy when she caught him licking his chops while staring at her lying on the bed sleeping?
PUNCHLINE- What do you call cheese that's not yours?
QUESTION- What do you call a pig with three eyes?
100 THINGS I LEARNED FROM HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL (THIS IS COPYRIGHTED!!)
1) High school cafeterias are vast and spacious — leaving plenty of room to spontaneously break into song and dance — and are in no way packed, crowded or uncomfortable
This was made by Sapphirepaw. I was bawling (and still do when I'm reading it) when I read it. It's SO sad!
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
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