I don't even use this account anymore.
You are a Innocent Uke!
Cute and sweet, and most gentle of all uke, whips and chains are not for you - you just want someone to love you. You are often spotted in candy shops wearing furry kitty ears, where you are sure to be noticed by the Romantic Seme, whose protective instincts will kick in and will only want to take you home and love and protect you. And you, of course, will be more than happy to spend the rest of your life baking cookies for your seme.
Most compatible with: Romantic Seme
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together.
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: I'm sorry--I got lost in your beautiful eyes.
Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Man: But I don't know your name
Man: I know how to please a woman
Man: I can tell you want me
Man:My pretty face is leaving in ten minutes. Please, be on it.
Woman: Really, then it will be to smack you.
Man:Wanna go home and play Zookeeper? You be the lion and I'll feed you the meat.
Woman: If it's meat your giving me it better you because your DEAD meat to me.
GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "FEMALE COMEBACKS"
I got these quites from xXxPunkPrincess2894xXx and thought they were funny... she got them from Soccerluver04
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
Surely you can't be serious!? I am serious... and don't call me Shirely.
There are very few problems that can not be solved using a large amount of explosives.
Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil.
It’s all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye - THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER!
It is only fair to warn you that I am practiced in the ancient art of origami. Beware my paper swan.
There comes a time in every person's life where they want to do nothing more than to throw their hands up in the air, screw honesty, and yell, "Pirate!"
Its at times like this I see why I need to make a list of people who need to die.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.
You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders.
Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.
Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.
Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.
Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!
All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.
When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.
The trouble with life, is there's no background music.
A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!
Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE!
I don't get even, I get odder.
If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.
If I were any lazier, I would slip into a coma!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!
If life gives you lemons...throw them at someone.
If life gives you lemons, make beef stew.
When life gives you lemons, say "What else have you got?" you might get something else.
The more you love someone,the more you want them dead.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
I am worse than evil... I am the author!
Sorry about being late...I got lost on the path of life.
No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it?
There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.
People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.
When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!
Uh...define 'normal' for me again.
There are three rings in marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
"Wear short sleeves! Support our right to bare arms!"
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but you can't help but smile, when you see one fall down the stairs.
Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!
Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while the others try to figure out how you did it.
When life gives you mayonnaise... throw it back and say, "B!TCH I ASKED FOR LEMONS!!"
I love to eat. But then I get fat.
Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
In the play Hamlet, Hamlet says to be or not to be that is the question. What I wanna know is... whats the answer?
The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"
If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.
Never drink water...if it can rust iron, think of what it can do to your stomach.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.
Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Committing Suicide is like saying to God, "You can't fire me, I quit!"