fanpire03
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Joined 01-19-09, id: 1809618, Profile Updated: 06-22-10
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, and Witch of Blackbird Pond.

Name: Jamie

Middle: Lynn

(I am not Jamie Lynn Spears)

Fav Movie: Somewhere in Time or How to Train Your Dragon

Fav TV show: Modern Family, Fringe, and Smallville!

Fav Book: Deadly Little Secret or Twilight

Fav Song: Neutron Star Collision by Muse

Fav Food: Chocolate

VBFF (Vampire Best Friend Forever: Katie (AKA Spoiledgrl881)

Fav Athlete: Sydney Crosby

Fav Superhero Couple: Green Arrow and Black Canary

Fav Sidekick: Speedy

Fav Transformer: Bumblebee

The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.(Like-HECK YES! iT'S WHAT I wrote to Santa for, that and an Edward of my own)

If you have ever tripped over air and expected Edward to catch you copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you believe that their is an Edward Cullen out there for you copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are a proud stalker and obsessed fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy and paste this.(Who isn't?!)

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile! (If we could solve wars with rock paper scissors, everyone would love each other...)

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Mina the Mischevious, SnowNeko, Anime-Kunoichi, YuYuInufreak332, Mistress Persephone, HaLoCo, Mrs Cullen for Life, Fanpire0345

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile (Go Eddy!)

COPY AND PASTES!!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over nothing copy this to your profile

If you have ever burst into laughter at something that happened last week copy to profile

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

-If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

ACTUAL Labels on Products!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Things to do on an Elevator

1.CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2.STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3.WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4.GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5.MEOW occasionally.

6.STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7.SAY 'DING' at each floor.

8.SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10.STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11.WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12.TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13.DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14.WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15.PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16.ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17.HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18.DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19.BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20.PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21.SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22.CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23.Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

24. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a demonic voice announce: "It is time..."

ACTUAL Labels on Products!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

You Know You Live In 2008 When...

1. You accidently enter your password into your microwave

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years

3. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends are the don't have Aim, Myspace or a live journal

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pressing the power button on the tv

6. Your evening activity is sitting at your computer

7. As you read this list you think about sending it to all of your friends

8. You read this list and keep nodding and smiling

9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this

10. You were too busy to notice number five

11. You actually scrolled back up to see if there even was a number five

12. And now your laughing at your stupidity

13. You now plan to put this on your profile cause you fell for it

~~10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.
2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.
3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.
4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.
5. Try To Sell Your Money.
6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.
7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.
8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.
9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.
10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant

TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Run into walls.
6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"
8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
9. Say all of the words in a film.
10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!"
11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm retarded!"
12. Talk to a pen.
13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
14. Try and climb the wall.
15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT KISS YOU!"
16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"
18. Eat your hair.
19. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!"
20. At everything they say yell "LIAR!"
21. Pretend to be a phone.
22. Try to swim in the floor.
23. Tap on their door all night.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Wind In September by IrishJumper reviews
The Cullens are professional Kidnappers. Life is Simple, Life is Easy. Until newly hired hands Bring the wrong girl as well as their own horror. Life will forever change for Bella. Locked in a world with different types of Monsters, Will Bella ever make it home or is a life of Pain the only Choice besides Death? Rated M (Rape, Lemons, Language)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 63,915 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 473 - Updated: 8/29 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Bella, Edward
let me hear you scream by jazzberry reviews
the year is 1790 and bella swan has been sold by her father charlie she is bought and is thrown into a world of vampires.Now a very pale stranger lusts after her will she survive or will it be the worst mistake of her life to give in.Dark edward Rape AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,268 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 471 - Follows: 652 - Updated: 1/2/2013 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Bella, Edward
Black Sunrise by raybabiieex3 reviews
I didn't want to be that person anymore. I didn't want to cut myself. I didn't want to starve myself to be skinny. I just to be healthy again. AU/AH/CP/OOC/Language/Rape/Cutting. Full sum inside. Complete with epilogue.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 35 - Words: 74,396 - Reviews: 490 - Favs: 372 - Follows: 227 - Updated: 8/4/2012 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Wolfing Around by persephone-kore2593 reviews
Bella moves back to La Push to live with her father Charlie. A visit to her best friend Jake changes her life in a way she doesnt understand. well, until its explained to her and even then she thinks them crazy, until something happens to make her believe
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 33 - Words: 238,723 - Reviews: 1858 - Favs: 1,864 - Follows: 1,591 - Updated: 5/21/2012 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Bella, Sam
Something Soft by mudpuddledemon reviews
Emmett’s sick of the scene he’s in, and thinking hard, when fate drops something unexpected right in his lap. Something soft. AH, AU, non-canon pairings. Rated M for dirty words, and dirtier lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,892 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 283 - Updated: 9/30/2011 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Emmett, Bella
There's a Thin Line Between Love And Hate, Right? by FirefliesAreHope reviews
She had the perfect life...until she was forced to marry HIM. How are you supposed to have a baby with the man you hate the most? Will Alice be able to take it, or against all odds, will she fall for her greek god womanizing husband?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 47,234 - Reviews: 447 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 8/11/2011 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Green Arrow Short Stories by FairladyZ2005 reviews
Short stories featuring Team Arrow at different points in continuity and a few that aren't. Guest starring some Bats, Lanterns, and other DC heroes. Each chapter is a complete story. Updated as more ideas strike. Ratings may vary from chapter to chapter.
DC Superheroes - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 28 - Words: 13,710 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/14/2011 - Published: 12/16/2007
TheMissingChronicle:TheLion,The Witch&HisLioness by BringOnTheShackles reviews
Bella is captured and sold as a slave to Edward. She hates him, she doesn't love him, she doesn't even know his second name. But is there more to Bella than meets the eye? After all Bella is only short for Isabella. Isabella Swan. Lemons;Etc
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 97,788 - Reviews: 2216 - Favs: 1,369 - Follows: 971 - Updated: 9/14/2010 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Bet by XintoxicatedxbyxTwilightX reviews
Edward is a "Player" at Bella's school. They get thrown together for a project, and Edward has a bet that he cant get Bella to do "IT" with him before the project is over. Bella wants nothing to do with him. But what happens when feelings begin to form?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 43,884 - Reviews: 1085 - Favs: 589 - Follows: 236 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Chances by Fai'sKay reviews
A war between Vampires and Humans bring the human race into termoil. What happens when Bella becomes a slave to a vampire that has no heart?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 30 - Words: 86,426 - Reviews: 1664 - Favs: 893 - Follows: 946 - Updated: 7/4/2010 - Published: 10/20/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Taken by rippnercullen reviews
Bella is kidnapped one night to become a 'slave present' for Edward Cullen, a boy who seems to just abuse her. But Bella is sure that underneath he must love her.....right? WARNINGS: Pain, language, lemons, spanking and rippnercullenness! Ed/Be NO JACOB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 36,730 - Reviews: 922 - Favs: 917 - Follows: 861 - Updated: 5/31/2010 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Bella, Edward
Prank Calls by oxoxTwilightloverxoxo reviews
Edward and the others left to go hunting Bella and Alice, are home alone, Join them as they prank call, The Cullens, The Wolves, Mike, Jessica, Lauren and many more!REVENGE IN STORE! SEQUEL NOW OUT! Prank War
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 59,300 - Reviews: 758 - Favs: 346 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Emmett, Bella
Breathe Into Me by AthenaRowena reviews
After Edward left, Bella hit rock bottom. When she finally decides to put an end to it all, she is saved by the least likely of people...or vampires. Rated M for suicide. J/B Em/R E/A Summary isn't good, but the story is
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,416 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 286 - Updated: 3/30/2010 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Human Trafficking by Sovoyita reviews
Taken by men who are going to rent me out to strangers that will take advantage of me…Brilliant. This wasn’t bad luck. It was my sentence to hell. Rated M for adult themes including rape and slavery.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 41,562 - Reviews: 366 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 325 - Updated: 1/29/2010 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
Rosalie's Baby by Beckaabook reviews
Carlisle may have developed a way to impregnate vampire Rosalie - her own vampire IVF - could Rosalie and Emmett get their own baby?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 39,653 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Rosalie, Emmett
Sandwich Dreams by heelstominivan reviews
Foul-mouthed & reckless, Bella was carrying around a suitcase full of drama when she met Edward. Their rollercoaster ride involves bad language & juicy lemons, but when put together it forms one very funny beautiful mess. AH. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 60,565 - Reviews: 384 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 275 - Updated: 9/24/2009 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Bella, Edward
The fear by dustyrose03 reviews
For the past 12 years of her life, Bella has lived without knowing where she came from. But one little accident changed everything and now Bella is in constant danger. Will she stay put and be safe? Or will she run to protect her loved ones? ExB AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,248 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 1/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
The world is a vampire by Sleepy Ocean reviews
Don't look. I don't want you to be afraid." He said."You can't scare me." I protested. He kissed my forehead softly."Promise?" he asked, and I nodded. He uncovered my eyes to reveal the moonlight illuminating his figure. He was covered in blood. Dark.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,663 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Edward, Bella
Sacred by DieInSilenceX reviews
Bella and Edward get into a terrible fight days before the wedding. Bella gets badly injured and runs away. On the run, she meets Alyssa, a vampire with an extraordinary power. Bella's future changes... for better? or for worse?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 53,707 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 6/4/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Lost and Found by kelleegilmore reviews
Bella loves and loses Edward in college. He walks back into her life four years later, but she's found new love with Jake. Even after four years Bella still loves Edward, who will she choose? AH; B/J; B/E; OOC; M for Lemons and language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 57,357 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 5/5/2009 - Published: 3/25/2009 - Bella, Edward
Ink Me, Baby by SUPER AMAZING reviews
Bella and Alice head to Miami for a vacation, they plan to get something to remember their trip. But in sexy tattoo artists Edward and Jasper, they come back with much more. Chapter Fic. AH AU OOC. Dirty lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,732 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 417 - Follows: 198 - Updated: 1/29/2009 - Published: 1/15/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Unsinkable reviews
Bella and Edward are on a couples retreat with Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. The location of the retreat is the new floating palace, the Titanic. Will Bella and Edward survive the trip?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,016 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Bella, Edward
Undecided War reviews
Bella's life is changed forever when the Civil War starts. She thought she picked sides, but a chance encounter could change her opinion. Will she choose her lifelong, rebel friend, Jasper, or the new guy?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,244 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Bella, Jasper
A Gangster's Heart reviews
Edward, Jasper, and Emmett are all rich gangsters in the 1930's. What happens when two rival gangs are after Edward's most prized possession, his wife, Bella. All human. ExB, AxJ, EmxR. PLEASE REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 13,455 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 11/29/2009 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Witch of Blackbird Pond: continued reviews
What happens to Nat and Kit after the book? Apparently lots of things. Please review!
Witch of Blackbird Pond - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Complete