CarsmeCarlislexEsme
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Poll: What will be the gender of Howard and Bernie's baby? (This will not determine the sex, just readers' preference) Vote Now!
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Joined 01-19-09, id: 1810042, Profile Updated: 06-12-12
Author has written 20 stories for Twilight, RENT, Burlesque, Addams Family, and Big Bang Theory.

I'm an actress. I'm a singer. I'm a writer. I'm Creative.

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The Fantasy Basket by Esme Incognito reviews
Marriage is tough, even when it looks like you have it all. "He won't touch me anymore. He barely even talks to me. It's like we're just roommates. And since we had the baby it's gotten worse." The best advice about commitment, communication and even (gulp) reigniting your flame may be the one you're least likely to ask. AH, 2 stories woven into 1: B/E & Es/C
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 120,220 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 289 - Updated: 4/5 - Published: 11/16/2013 - Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Esme
My Mother Knew by YoursTruly101 reviews
Bridget is now all alone. Both parents dead. Her new guardians were listed in her mother's will... Mrs. Esme Cullen. What is so strange yet compelling about the Cullens? Nominated for 4 Hopeless Romantic Awards. Please vote!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 29,677 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 2/20/2011 - Published: 11/28/2009 - Esme, Carlisle - Complete
Two Worlds Collide by Lishbashbaaaa reviews
Alice and Jasper had been best friends all their life. When Alice has to leave suddenly at the age of 11 to move to Australia because of Carlisle's new job, both are distraught. Alice comes back 7 years later and everything has changed, including Jasper.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,943 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 1/20/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Love Like Wine by cokesuicide reviews
Falling in love is a lot like tasting wine. First, you take a good look. Second, you smell the bouquet. Third, you taste. And when you find that perfect wine, you never want to let it go. Plot Bunny Contest Entry.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,572 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Esme, Carlisle
Torn in Two by MySilentEmoSide reviews
Carlisle and Esme get a divorce after Breaking Dawn. How will the rest of the the Cullens react? Their lives before and after. There is no Renesme. O.O.C. Please read.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,384 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Carlisle, Esme
Fading Dusk by RememberMe13 reviews
The fifth installment of twilight! It is the life of Reneesme Cullen, told through her eyes at life, love and her new world. The story of three worlds colliding, vampire, human and werewolf. Rated M-Renesme/Jacob... PLEASE REVIEW! Warning, romantic lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 19,691 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 4/21/2010 - Published: 12/15/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie
Don't Bet On It by MichiefWarrior11 reviews
Carlisle is a single man. The only problem is he has a daughter, Rosalie. Rosalie hates every GF her dad gets! When Carlisle ends up intrested in Esme, things spiral out of control. Will Rosalie ever let them be together? CxE story. occasionaly RxE. :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,832 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 3/20/2010 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Esme, Carlisle
Jasper and Emmett's Offical Cullen Annoyance Guide by El Leon Y La Oveja reviews
When you don't eat or sleep, it leaves you a lot of spare time. Some vampires study, some compose music and Jasper and Emmett annoy their family. Manipulating the emotions of others can be used for fun too... RATED M FOR SOME SEXUAL HUMOUR
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 17,173 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Jasper, Emmett - Complete
Cullen Girl's Night Out by Blue Eyed Bookworm reviews
When Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and Bella go out for a night on the town, who will they run into on a first date? Will the other Cullens be spying on them? And who's that guy in the turban? Read to find out! Rated T because I'm paranoid. UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,914 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 9/15/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009
The Doctor is Out by Kimmeth reviews
Dr Cullen has gone off sick. Hang on, Dr Cullen never goes off sick. The nurses at Forks General determine to investigate this highly irregular occurrence... One-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,603 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Emails: Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen by YoursTruly101 reviews
Esme and Bella communicate by Email when Esme and Carlisle are out of town. Bella fills Esme in on all of the events happening at the Cullen house while she is gone.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,995 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 19 - Published: 7/29/2009 - Bella, Esme - Complete
Can Vampires Get Sugar High? by Uneducated Cabinet Face reviews
Carlisle is Gangsta, Esme is rebellious, and Jasper is peppy? What is causing this insanity? Read and find out! My first FanFic.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,190 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 10/22/2008 - Complete
400 Years and Counting by Blood Red Vampress reviews
It's the 400th birthday of Carlisle Cullen! The Cullens plan a surprise party to show how much they appreciate their vampire father. Between Alice and the excitement of it all, will Carlisle have the best birthday ever? Of course! Humor and fun included.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,239 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 6/14/2009 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Carlisle - Complete
Cinderella by Icebabe59 reviews
Twilight/ modern version of Cinderella, or i guess you could say Cinderbella. All human. B/E Ya i know summary sucks, but whatever.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 10,085 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 4/8/2009 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Momma, where is Grandpa? by Miss Asian reviews
We may not all be related by blood—but we were all connected for what we were. I had created Edward and him, Bella. Somehow, a part of my granddaughter had rooted from me. Even that profound thought sent warmth within me.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,586 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 15 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Carlisle, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
The Cullens Get a Dog by Lizzie123 reviews
Bella's "28th" birthday is coming up and Alice, Rose, Renesme, Esme, and Carlisle are all in on planning a birthday bash for Bella. What will be her presents? What happened to the rest of the guys? Who will be at the party? Is there a surprise guest? READ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/15/2009
Messing with Edward! by Lizzie123 reviews
i am HORRIBLE at writing summaries but this story is rosalie messing w/ edward and there are some really random twists.... u will c but seriously its intresting and a bit of a different view of Twilight.... PLEASE review and tell me if u think its good...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,009 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/15/2009
Alice's New Pet by OverlyObbsessedAboutTwilight reviews
Alice gets lonely so she gets a pet, what will happen to it when Jasper gets jealous?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,009 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 2/11/2009 - Published: 2/6/2009 - Alice - Complete
Cullen Family Movie Night by rain-it-shall reviews
Set sometime after Breaking Dawn. the cullens decide to have a movie night. fluff. kinda OOCish, but not too much. NOW ON HOLD INDEFINATELY
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,468 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 2/8/2009 - Published: 1/21/2009 - Bella, Edward
Wife Swap Vampires vs Humans by Twilightfan413 reviews
Wife Swap Twilight saga addition. Takes place after Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 359 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 30 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Alice
Love Makes Martyrs of Us All by KitMarlowe reviews
In a re-working of New Moon, Carlisle trades himself to free Edward from the Volturri. How far will Esme go to get him back, and what will be the final cost? PLEASE: Read the Warnings and A/Ns inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,607 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 1/20/2009 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Esme, Carlisle
Cullen Carnival by GeronimoPond reviews
The Cullens hit the carnival. Emmett pigs out, Jasper freaks out, Carlisle and Esme make out- what! Some all-around good, wholesome Cullen-y goodness! All Vamps, a tad OOC in some parts. M for some future chapters, maybe...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,384 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/2/2008 - Published: 8/14/2008 - Edward, Bella
Growing Pains by BPHB4L reviews
a story about carlisle and esme cullen being turned into totdlers and having to find a way to grow up again: comical, romantic
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,337 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/27/2008 - Published: 6/8/2008
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Wolowitz Endeavor reviews
You always want what you can't have. Their friends' families continue to grow, while, Bernadette struggles to give Howard what he wants most in the world. Bernadette knew raising children wasn't going to be easy, but she didn't know trying to have them would prove this difficult.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 37,687 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 4/9 - Published: 11/24/2013 - [Bernadette, Howard W.]
The Little Thing I do for You reviews
Esme and Carlisle have been best friends since they were 18. Now, 10 years later they feel they've missed out on love. After coming back from vaction Carlisle has realized his feelings for Esme, but shes developed new feelings of her own!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,118 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/27 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Carlisle, Esme
The Surprise Factor reviews
It's Bernadette's 30th Birthday and Howard, with the help of their friends, decides to throw her a surprise party! However, Bernie wont be the only one who's in for a big surprise!
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,770 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/3/2013 - [Bernadette, Howard W.] Sheldon C. - Complete
Unhappily Ever After reviews
A boy, a girl...and the forces that may drive them apart! Gomez and Morticia struggle to find their own story book ending, despite what their Families have arranged!
Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,835 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Published: 7/25/2012 - Gomez A., Morticia A. - Complete
Grandpa, Why am I Bleeding? reviews
Renesmee, Emmett and Jasper all figure out what it means to be a real Woman!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,321 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/16/2012 - Carlisle, Renesmee C./Nessie
He Bats for the Other Team reviews
One drunk night can lead to life changing events.
Burlesque - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/16/2011 - Complete
My Better Half reviews
Esme Platt is a girl from Ohio. Carlisle Cullen is a boy from England. What will happen when their 2 worlds collide? What challenges will they face? What will happen as their lives continue? Will they fall in love or break apart? *All Human*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 23,497 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 3/11/2011 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Carlisle, Esme
The Unbreakable Bonds reviews
The Twilight couples talking about their spouses and how much they love them. ExB JxA EmxR CxEs
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,392 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/6/2010 - Published: 2/3/2009
Gold Digger reviews
After returning from a trip on Isle Esme, Carlisle and Esme come home to their loving family and a clean home. All is well and they are enjoying their time and talking about their trip when Jacob makes shocking realization...ESME'S A GOLD DIGGER!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 791 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/22/2010 - Esme, Jacob
Letters From Emmett reviews
Our Dear Friend Emmett decides to write every one in his family a special note! By Abbie, Posted by me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,887 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Emmett
I'll Always Take You reviews
PostRENT, Maybe Mark Cohen wasn't whipped, maybe he was just stuck in love...is there a difference. However, when something Comes Between Joanne and Maureen, will Mark be there to pick up the pieces
RENT - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,886 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/7/2010 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Maureen J., Mark C.
It's not Charlie's Fault reviews
No, it's not Charlie's Fault tha he has feelings for Mrs. Cullen
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,584 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 12/27/2009 - Charlie S., Esme
Grandpa Where Do Babies Come From reviews
Little Nessie has a question that she must ask. Who else to turn to but her grandfather, he's a doctor, He'll defiantly know where they come from!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,324 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 13 - Published: 11/26/2009 - Carlisle, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
The Heart and The Soul reviews
Just Little poems about Carlisle and Esme.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 889 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/23/2009 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Esme, Carlisle
100 Years reviews
It's Carlisle and Esme's 100th Aniniversary! What will happen when their own Chiuldren forget?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,622 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/7/2009 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Spring Break? reviews
An RV? What in the hell was Carlisle Cullen thinking when he thought of this trip. Pranks, pranks and more pranks are bound to happen with the Cullen children. Will Carlisle get his family bonding or will it be a disaster. All Human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,671 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/14/2009 - Published: 3/16/2009
Carlisle's MidLife Crisis reviews
There is a time in every man's life that he feels like he is being tied down and that his youth and freedom are gone. What will happen to the Cullen Family when Carlisle experiences these feelings. Carlisle is OOC in some chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Carlisle, Esme
Twlightisms Penny Style reviews
Random Twilight stuff my Amazing Friend Penny wrote. The are so random. So if you dare come read to enter the corrupt mind of my dear friend Penny. Rated T just incase.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/10/2009
Cullen Moments reviews
I tought of random little one-shots. I thought I'd write them down. The Cullens are all humans too, cause most of my stories wouldn't work if they were vampires. The characters might be a little OC in some chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,068 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/15/2009 - Published: 1/30/2009
The Cullen's own Cupid reviews
IT'S VALENTINES DAY! What happens when Carlisle has to go out of town on this specail holiday. Why does it matter so much to Esme? Why is this date specail for them? What do the boys get the girls? *All human*
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,153 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete