Haha I love Jasper! Sorry, I'm a little obsessed with him, and it's a very good question why that is.
My name is Lucy. I'm 15. But the one thing you should know about me is that...
I LOVE JASPER!
Haha sorry. If anyone of you who actually read this cause I'm not sure that any of you will have anything that has to do with Jasper, tell me! :P
also, my friend, BelovedMikura has some pretty damn good stories in my opinion. Read them!
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."
Bold are the best ;)
'Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil.'
'I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!'
'Damn you; damn the broccoli; DAMN CANADA
'Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.'
'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people.'
'I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.'
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions
Sorry I'm late. I got into a fight with my rice krispies. I distinctly heard, "Snap, Crackle, Fuck that Asshole."
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
You know you're stressed out when you can hear mimes.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If after reading this, and most/all of the things apply to you, copy & paste
Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, BEEP, RUN!"
A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!
A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better,” but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..."
We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a brdge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid cliché, EdwardandFangdreams4life, This Sayuri-Sama, Mit-chan007,Ni-Chan, vampgirl8, BelovedMikura, iLOVEjasper138
Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.
Steroetypes, hate em (bold applies 2 me)
I'm BLACK, so I must be GANGSTA.
COMEBACKS to crappy pickup lines!
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Ways to make sure you're insane
-At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
-Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
-Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
-Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
-Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
-Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.
-As often as possible, skip rather than walk .
-Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
-Sing along at the opera.
-Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
-Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.
-When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
-When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"
Why America has some issues...
1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.
A FRIEND WILL BACK UP A LIE
A FRIEND WILL TRY TO STOP YOU FROM FIGHTING A STRANGER FOR LOOKING AT YOU WRONG
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism