Author has written 14 stories for Doctor Who, and Mentalist.
Hi, I'm a complete nutter but everyone who has ever been within a 5-Mile radius of me will already know that.
I'm not expecting to get any excellent reviews, but whatever comes my way is deeply appreciated! They make me feel like I've done something with my life!
My favourite TV shows are Doctor Who and The Mentalist, and I will only write fics for thise two fandoms at the moment. Doctor Who is good for the wacky and aliens and sciency-stuff! And The Mentalist deals with issues more relavent to reality, with jobs and mortgages and loss and love/friendship! I've always said that "FanFiction is Reality's version of Dreams; ANYTHING can happen, and usually does!"
I see it as my personal duty to torture the Doctor real good, I don't know why, but he's just so cute when he's hurt and/or helpless. You may see that all of my stories that aren't one-shots will tend to involve more Doctor Whump then a universe full of revenge crazy Daleks, and they may sometimes even have a plot to justify it (sometimes, not every time, that would just be either insane, or normal for normal people which I am not)!
I also LOVE werewolves! The one from Doctor Who (Series 2, episode 2, Tooth and Claw) is the best (with Van Helsing at a close second), so that's how I imagine them. I am writing a WolfDoctor series. Slowly, mind you, but it is being written.
Alternatively, I love to write Jane's emotional struggle through life in The Mentalist, and how he lives after what Red John did to him. Whenever I write the Mentalist, Jane always seems to end up getting hit, or knocked out, or abducted, or chased, or handcuffed, or sad, or depressed, or caged, or sat on, or scared witless, or in a hospital bed... I sense a pattern developing here! I can write angst quite well, so this comes in handy a lot in this fandom! I'm also a Jisbon shipper, and a Rigspelt! Don't like? Deal with it, this is MY profile!
I am also writing a proper book, currently , one that I hope to publish and unleash on the world in paper and ink and new-book smell, so WATCH THIS SPACE!
Fave shows: Doctor Who, The Mentalist, Sherlock, Merlin, Spooks, Whitechapel, Torchwood, Pokemon.
Fave films: Marvel's Avenger's Assemble, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Van Helsing, Paul, Moulin Rouge!, Black Beauty, Up, How To Train Your Dragon, Monster's Inc., The Hangover, Super 8, Despicable Me, Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game Of Shadows, X-Men (1, 2, 3, Origins, First Class), Harry Potter (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8), Music And Lyrics, Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimerron, Stardust, Johnny English (1, 2), The Devil Wears Prada, Pirates Of The Caribbean (1, 2, 3, 4), Casino Royale, Quantum Of Solace, Godzilla, Hot Fuzz.
Fave books/authors: Christopher Paolini (Inheritance Cycle - Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr and Inheritance), Curtis Jobling (Wereworld), J.K Rowling, Eva Ibbotson, Cornelia Funke, Dan Brown, Phillip Pullman, Alison Groggon, Neil Gaiman.
Fave bands: Nemsa, Skillet, Within Temptation, Halestorm, Evanesence, Linkin Park, Chameleon Circuit.
I live, while the whole world dies. When one believes and one regrets, what will happen to the world's wolves? We never hear they're beautiful mournful howl... then there is only silence. When will man learn his lesson? When will we all learn?
Written by Fi3fi3. It's that time of year in the TARDIS again, and Rose is annoyed. COMPLETE!
What Did You Do To Queen Lizzie?:
Set just after the end of "Shakespeare Code" Martha asks the Doctor what he did to upset the Queen. One Shot. COMPLETE!
The Doctor Plus Coffee Equals Chaos:
Rose always wondered why the Doctor never drank coffee, but when she tries to find out, she gets more then she bargained for. Throw in a few Daleks invading Torchwood, and you get a story. COMPLETE! (Finally)
The Doctor and Martha have a mission. One that could change a life forever. And, as Marth tucks into her ice cream the Doctor decides that the time is now. Everything or nothing, now or never. Tears will follow. One Shot. COMPLETE!
There's a war going on in the TARDIS. Who will win? Team TARDIS or Fruit Salad? One Shot. COMPLETE!
The Little Dalek Who Saw Time:
The last thoughts of Dalek Caan in Journey's End, as he tries to experience all his new-found emotions before the End. COMPLETE!
At Rose's insistance, she, the Doctor and Jack go to visit Jackie. While the two women catch up, the Doctor and Jack get bored within a few minutes. That's when the Doctor decides to try to fix one of the TARDIS's many fixable settings, and things go a tiny bit wrong. When Rose finds them, she decides that it was time she had some fun. She did always like that kind of thing as a child... IN PROGRESS!
That's Gonna Take Some Fixing:
While towing Earth back home, a small hitch occours. Has anyone ever tried inter-galactic pinball/bowls/bowling? Well, now they have! Dedicated to the 10th Doctor. COMPLETE!
The Lean Mean Dream Machine (And Jack):
On one of the rare occasions when Jack finds himself alone (more or less) on the TARDIS, he stumbles upon a way to keep himself entertained, but at what cost to the sleeping Doctor and Rose?
Child of Time:
The Doctor, stuck with the mind of a child. How will Jack and Rose cope with the last of the Time Lord's thinking he's 4 years old? I think that says it all really. Thanks to beatlesringofreak for the amazing title!
A series of one shots revolving around 10's I-don't-know-who-I-am speech in The Christmas Invasion. One chapter for each adjective.
Is based on one of my favourite films: Black Water. The Doctor, Rose and Jack take a break from travelling the universe and decide to spend a quiet day or two fishing in Australia. With their guide to lead them, they set off in their little boat into the maze of waterways and bleak forest. But wherever they go, danger is sure to find them. When they are attacked, their guide is killed, and the boat drifts off into unsafe waters. Will they be able to get the boat back and get back to civilliasation, safety and more importantly, the TARDIS. Will they all get out in one piece? Who will be the next to fall? What is it that lurkes beneath the dark waters of Australia's swamps? (The Mighty Noofle assures me that swamps is the right word for them) And what does the creature want them for? Black waters hide truths most worrying.
Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey:
London, England, Earth, 2005. The Doctor, Rose and Jack have been a nice relaxing weekend on their faviourite planet, and with no alien invasions on the calender, the Doctor lets his guard down. Then they discover that now really isn't the time for a break. People are being attacked and losing all their memories of who they are, and it doesn't look like it's going to stop soon. The Doctor goes to stop it and disappeares, leaving Rose and Jack to deal with those people affected. Three days pass and no sign of any improvement. Then they find the Doctor, but he doesn't remember them or the TARDIS at all, or anything else. With his rescue looking more like an abduction, they take him back to the TARDIS and try to restore his memories, but would they really be his memories at all?
Shadows of Moonlight:
Straight after landing on another planet, the Doctor, Jack and Rose are caught in a fight between the local people and a terrifying Werewolf. Soon after, one of it's victims begins ravaging the city, bent on destroying a company that could be on the verge of creating a cure for those bitten by a Werewolf. With this Wolf's victim's becoming Were's too, the Wolf is also having to battle with its other side, the side that is not too happy to condem others to the same fate. Can the Doctor, Jack and Rose battle with the monster's inside and save the city from the powers of the night? WereDoctor. (When I say Werewolves, I mean Werewolves as in Tooth & Claw, not as in New Moon. I prefer them that way: Big and scary) IN PROGRESS!
Second in my Wereseries. With the Doctor now a Werewolf, and getting the hang of his new abilities, he's also trying to learn how to keep his darker side under control. But the Wolf has other ideas about that, of course. Add to that a gang of murderers and thieves and a full moon, and the Doctor has some trouble on his hands.WereDoctor.
Third in my Wereseries. An accidental landing, and problems ensue. Lycan's and Werewolves are blood enemies, and have been since the beginning. When a rogue Lycan begins terrorising innocent people, and the Doctor barely able to keep control, will he be able to defeat his new age-old enemy, protect both his friends and those in danger, and resist the temptation of turning? WereDoctor.
Fourth in my Wereseries. The Doctor finds out that some people wil kill to find out the secret to his Were-ness, but he's not one to give up easilly, especially when the person who's asking isn't all that friendly, resorting to kidnap to get the secret from him. With Jack and Rose in danger, what will the Doctor choose: Them, or the rest of the universe? Holed up in a cage, one's perceptions of the world can become clouded very easilly. WereDoctor.
Fifth in my Wereseries. Landing in the midst of a crisis, the Doctor, Jack, Rose and Martha all decide to help the good guys win, but when the good guys start behaving badly, a pack of Lycans patrolling the surrounding mountainous forests, and an infestation of unfriendly, vengeful and hungry visitors, which problem should be solved first? Or are they all connected? WereDoctor.
Sixth in my Wereseries. A huge house in the 1800's, and an even bigger problem. The maids are all sent home on the nights of a Full Moon, the children have an armed guard, and their father goes on the hunt. For flesh. Andrew Ranul has never been the same since that night, many many years ago, and life has adapted around him. But with the arrival of three new staff, the Ranul's world is turned upsidedown. Will Elizabeth be able to handle her husband, protect her two children, Henry and Jane, and discover the secret that thier new staff hold behind their backs? WereDoctor.
Two Sides of the Same Coin:
Finalle to my Wereseries. The line between light and dark has grown faint, and the Doctor begins to realise that it may not be long before he is lost to the darkness inside his head. When he begins to change, he knows that if nothing is done, then the darkness will win. The Doctor is one side of a coin, but when tossed, which side will emerge victorious? WereDoctor.
Drumming The Spirit Out Of The Storm:
First in my "Mind" series. The Master has waited for his chance, and now the time for revenge has arrived. With the Doctor powerless in his grasp, and Martha and Jack taken care of, the Master can have some fun! Major DoctorWump! Caution! IN PROGRESS!
Second in my "Mind" series. The team visit an undiscovered planet, only to find that they aren't the first. A group of human explorers are mapping the planet, with it's lush forests and it's crystal clear lake's that span most of the planet's surface. When the team are seperated from the TARDIS, the Doctor is pursuaded to help them. But all is not what it seems on this abandoned planet. There is one inhabitant left, one that survived the disaster that befell it's kind many millania ago, and it's lonely. Finally someone has come who can help it re-join it's family. It has the means to pursuade him, and it's going to use them. The things that the pain of separation can make you do.
Third in my "Mind" series. The team visit one of the Doctor's favourite planets. A planet where knowlage is everything, violence is unheard of, and phsycic powers aid the inhabitants in finding new facts to add to their sums of knowlage. But something has gone wrong since the Doctor's last visit. His friend has gone crazy and drained the planet of all it's knowlage, believing that if he knows all, then nothing can stop him. Will the Doctor fall victim to his ex-friends wild plan? Will Martha be able to cope with what the Doctor will do for his friends? How do you live with the empty shell of a person you once loved?
Fourth in my "Mind" series. A planet where household pets have more rights then humans, and in some cases are worshipped, and where most other animals are sentient, there is still a flaw with the human mind. The planet's human children are being ignored to the point of stupidity. But even in a place where your dog is allowed to help itself to your family meal, but your 2-year-old child can't even have an apple because the dog might go hungry, there is something worse going on. The team find a madman trying to harness the power of the Zodiac animals to bring the animal God to life again and harness it's power to take control of every animal in the Universe. The Doctor goes missing and his friends are left to try to stop the man collecting all twelve of the Zodiac's. But when the Doctor returns and something is different about him and very wrong, they soon realise that they will need a lot more then just friendship to beat the power of the Zodiac.
Conclusion to my "Mind" series. An enemy returns to finish what he started the last time he and the Doctor met. The Doctor is powerless as his friends are incarcerated just for being with him, and he is subjected to an ordeal that could very well change the way he sees everything if it isn't stopped in time. An ancient, all-powerfull entity has been released from it's prison, something that was never meant to happen, and the Doctor is on the recieving end of it's lust for power, and it's fury at being contained for almost 1000 years. The team have to battle with the most powerful being in the Universe. Without the Doctor to help them they have to beat the entity, and save the Doctor from desires long forgotten. Will they be able to, when their opponant has the last child of Gallifrey at it's non-existant mercy? How do you fight against a power mad desire to kill with your best friend in the firing line?
Blue Box and Scarlett Time: (CROSSOVER! Doctor Who and Mentalist!)
On the anniversary of his family's deaths, Jane and Lisbon stumble upon a strange blue box in the street, and an even stranger man who thinks he can give Patrick Jane some peace of mind at last. Jane Pain! IN PROGRESS!
When the team break a case that gets them one step closer to catchin Red John, the serial killer decides that he needs to take action. And that action involves kidnapping Jane. Jane Pain! IN PROGRESS!
Bound By Blood:
Patrick Jane has not heard from his father since he and his wife escaped the carnie life together. Now Jane has something that his father wants, and he'll stop at nothing to get it, even if it means hurting his only son. Jane Pain!
While investigating a case in a huge abandoned mansion, Jane is lead astray by Red John and left lost and alone in the woods. Red John sets the CBI team a challenege; Find Jane in two days, or if the coming snowstorm doesn't finish him off, Red John will. Jane Pain!
Smuggling is on the agenda in the CBI's latest case. No big deal. But when Jane gets too close to closing the case he vanishes, seemingly off the face of the Earth. Can they find him in time to take the smugglers to court, or will the smugglers wiggle their way out of trouble again? Jane Pain!
How I think the episode 2x19, Blood Money, should have gone. When Cho left Jane at the cafe, something went very wrong when Cale Sylvan's plan changes drastically. Jane Pain!
"Victor's a nice guy, but that's who kills women, isn't it? Their husband's, 90% of the time." Jane reflects on how right that statement is, and how much it applies to him. Angst alert!! Tag to series 1x15.
When Jane phones in sick, Lisbon doesn't believe a word of it. But when she goes to check on him (and possibly drag him back to work) she finds him in a very bad way. Lying in his motel bed, delerious and almost comatose with fever, Jane is at his most vulnerable, and Lisbon has to look after him. Jane Pain! Might be a one shot, might be more, I'll decide nearer the tme.
Jane and Lisbon are kidnapped. Bound and gagged in the back of a van, on their way to who-knows-where, driven by a man with less-than-pure feelings for the consultant, the pair think to themselves, and try to comfort the other in their final hours. Jane Pain!
One shot. The team are in a very loud nightclub, which makes verbal communication nigh impossible.
Blood And Silence:
Anthony Sheerkin; Trafficker, drug lord, smuggler, and one of the richest oil barron's on the planet. Jane is taken by the bored barron, and the mistake which cost him his freedom, maybe even his life, was Lisbon's fault. Jane Pain! Could be classed as a song fic, too.
The Quiet Red Resistance:
The only witness to a gruesome murder is a very young girl. Jane is determined to keep her safe from the killers who are still hunting her. With all his new skills, and his old team, can he protect the young witness? Jane Pain! Could be classed as a song fic, too.
Red Scars Run Deep:
Jane has settled in well again at CBI, and everyone is glad to have him back. But when fate throws Jane's recent tortures into his path, how will he and the team react? Will he be able to cope with the pain and memories of how he obtained his scars? Or will it all prove too much for his mind? Jain Pain! Could be classed as a song fic, too.
Notes to self:
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.
22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.
25.Train army of flying monkeys.
26.Goldfish don't like milk.
27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28.Find out who invented the word "pianoist".
29.People are staring at you.
30.So act insane.
31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.
32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.
33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.
35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36.Never pet a burning dog.
37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38.Naked men dig parkas.
39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40.You know what would look good on you?
42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43.The size of Danny DeVito.
44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. OO
45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.
47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"
48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49.That way is rum.
50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.
52.You cannot kill the snow.
53.The snow can kill you.
54.Grass can also kill you.
55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...
56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.
62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65.Remember to kill HIM...
66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.
71.Eat the evidence.
72.But not if it's broken glass.
73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.
74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.
75.Disregard last note.
77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78.Stock up on ball point pens.
79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81.Do not stick fingers into blender.
82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83.Blood loss is bad.
84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.
85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86.Answer every question with a question.
87.Ask people what gender they are.
89.Refer to people as "mortal".
90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.
96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97.Dunk head in boiling water.
98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!
100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
On a hose nozzle:
On a container of salt:
On a box of Frosted Cheerios:
On Woolite carpet cleaner:
On a package of microwave popcorn, which is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it:
On a box of household nails:
On a bottle of bathtub cleaner:
Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza:
On the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle:
On a pack of furniture wipes:
Onthe package of a VCR box:
On a box of pills:
On the instructions of the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11:
On a can of black pepper.
On a bag of cat biscuits:
On a car manual:
On a Laundromat triple washer:
Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert:
Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean:
Ona manual for an SGI computer:
On a sign at a railroad station:
On a dashboard of a mail truck:
On a bottle of rat poison:
On a portable stroller: Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
On a can of air freshener:
On a label for a heated seat cushion
On a microwave oven:
On an Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter:
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
On a package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
On a package of disposable razors:
On a bottle of New Zealand insect spray:
On a blanket from Taiwan:
On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
On an infant's bathtub:
On hotel- provided shower cap in a box:
On the box of a 500-piece puzzle:
On Silk Soy Milk:
On a air conditioner:
On a road sign:
On a mattress:
On a pack of matches:
On a package of earplugs:
On a Komatsu Floodlight:
On a box of hair coloring:
On a bottle of baby oil:
On a bag of Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter:
Awesome! Got that off Noofle's profile. She's cool!
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