The.Sexy.Fruitcup
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Joined 01-23-09, id: 1813903, Profile Updated: 04-14-09
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, Harry Potter, and Parodies and Spoofs.

Hi, my name is Nicole! (I'll convince Monika and Kate to go on this thing some other time)

Well profile... I'll guess I'll write a little about me then...?

I'm 14 years o' age and am a freshman in high school. I'm your average joe schmo and have brown hair and brown eyes. My likes include writing, doodling in notebooks, web-surfing, blah blah blahhhh. I like watching movies (and criticizing them lol) reading books and the occasional turkey sandwich haha

Buy me coffee and I will be your best friend. (Venti Caramel Macchiato, extra shot and vanilla sprinkled on top. PLEASE?)

Purpose: The reason I'm making an account on FanFiction is to write about Twilight and here's my little... rant...

Twilight: WHAT THE HELLLLL?? The movie sucked, don't deny it. (Jacob was definitely the best part). Kristen Stewart is a horrid actress (I was asking whether or not Bella really loved Edward throughout the entire movie) and Robert Pattinson creeps the crap out of me.

Seriously, dude, go back to Harry Potter- Cedric Diggory is a fucking stud ;)
I'd tap that... repeatedly.

MORE Twilight: Now, onto the actual book. Don't get me wrong, I loved Twilight (as in the FIRST BOOK). I mean, who doesn't like sexy vampires (not Robert Pattinson, dammit!), romance, action, drama, and scattered cliché events? The only reason I liked New Moon was because I was (still am) a Jacob Black Fangirl--
TEAM JACOB FOR LIFE!!
--and it was just FULL of my favorite werewolf (Seth is second!) so me, being the hormonal, perverted teenage girl was VERY happy (JAY KAYYY!!).

Eclipse was... okay. I totally forgot what happened in that book anyway hahaha.

Breaking Dawn-- never finished it, never will. NEVER NEVER NEVER

Seriously, it was so predictable! And it doesn't even make sense! How can Edward get Bella pregnant if he's DEAD? (Necrophilia is bad kids so don't be like Bella!) And the whole getting pregnant thing was just retarded-- Stephenie Meyer had some serious writer's block! Worse than Kate's! (Laugh even if you don't get it, it's a JOKE GAWSHH)

And no, I'm not against the whole Bella-getting-knocked-up thing JUST BECAUSE JACOB IMPRINTS ON RENESMEE (wtf kind of name is that?)
seriously though, I'm not, I'm against it 'cuz it was DUMB

(Spoilers galore)

Bella Swan is a retard and I hate her--let's kill her!!

Me thinks Emmett, Edward, Jacob-- hell ALL the HOTTT guys in Twlight should have a giant freakin orgy.
now that would've made a good book.


Okay... I'm gonna cram some more useless crap into this profile. Actually, Nicole's rants weren't that useless... but whatever. So. Me.

I'm that girl Kate she was talking about before, NOT Monika, thank the god I don't believe in... xD

Not much I can add to this... man, this is awkward. Can I just paste my fictionpress profile in here? No? Dammit! Well then, don't expect witty and hilarious from me, kay?

I have house key earrings, I like going to hospitals (sick freak that I am), and I am Disney-deprived. Yay moi. And I'm 14 years old too, my hair is also brown, but my eyes sorta fall under the hazel category. Uhhhh... yup. ((Shameless ad)) My fictionpress name is Maplewing! Heh.

Unlike most... youngish people... I don't watch many movies. I don't even like to watch movies. Usually when I watch them I think, "Damn it! Someone just wasted a perfectly good book idea!" Ha. I'm a nerd. Speaking of nerds, I like sci-fi! And fantasy! Or anything that doesn't involve normal situations, like those stories about mothers raising their kids that my mom's book club reads. Blehh...

Iced coffee is pretty great, but Dr. Pepper is better. I have writer's block virtually all the time (now do you get the joke?). This sentence is random. Cheers.

PS-- I made the icon! In Photoshop! Yay!

...One more thing: It is impossible to visit the "Just In" section and not see a Twilight fanfic. =.=

The Most Awesome Twilight FanFiction Ever! by Wonderland Blossom reviews
The title says it all.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 356 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/8/2009 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
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The Burger King Song reviews
The King, that creepy dude that always wears a mask, writes a song about himself. And that's about all. Just read it, I swear it won't scar you for life. I think. //Kate's fic.//
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 199 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Complete
46 Hours of Twilight reviews
Hermione's insight on the one book that she wouldn't mind burning-- Twilight! Twilight Hate-fic! /Nicole's Fic./
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,580 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Breaking Twilight reviews
Vampires, forbidden love, passion, lust... all of which--thrown together--add up to what most of us consider cliche! This is Breaking Twilight, quite literally! R&R! /Nicole's Fic./
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,119 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/13/2009 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Bella, Edward