Author has written 1 story for Naruto.
I haven't written much myself, but I have found many wonderful stories to read here.
Things I Must Not (Must) do at Hogwarts
1.I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
2. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. It will not get me extra credit.
3. Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.
4. I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month", no matter how sympathetic I think I am to the situation.
5. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my older brother's old Calculus book.
6. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. Nor am i allowed to use the theme from Mission Impossible.
7. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
8. "Draco Malfoy, Is My Snuggle Bunny" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.
9. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. Or Lucius Malfoy. Or Hitler.
10. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
11. Bringing fortune cookies to Divinations class does not count as extra credit.
12. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps. Why Chocolate Frogs are allowed and not these is beyond me.
13. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.
14. I will not wear A MUDBLOOD AND PROUD OF IT shirt to DE meetings and act surprised when they attack me.
15. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree-house in the whomping willow
16. I will not use silencing charms on my professors.
17. I will not scream bloody murder everytime I see Filch
18. I will not ride around hogwarts in an uncontrollable cart going really fast with no breaks, and chase Snape around while causing general chaos.
19. I will not throw a surprise party for Snape and write him romantic poems no matter how much I think he needs a hug.
20. I will not purposefully run face on into every wall I see.
21. I will not make popping sounds with my mouth(like Donky from Shrek)and laugh when the teacher gives you a funny look.
22. I will not look at the ceiling for along time, and when I see other people looking at the ceiling too, trying to figure it out, say "What are you looking at?".
23. I will not grimace painfully while smacking my forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" while around the younger students.
24. I will not answer the professors' questions with meows.
25. I will not draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other students that this is my "personal space."
36. I will not get a black dog, name it Grim, and take it to Divination class.
27. I will not invent a cereal. There are no such thing as Voldios, and they are not magically delicious.
28. I will not yell "Pick me! Pick me!" when Snape hands out detentions.
29. I will not sing The Song That Never Ends. While drunk. In the Great Hall. To the first years..
30. I will not wait for Snape to run away from me to yell "Why are you doing this, Severus? YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR BABY!"
31. I will not send Snape love notes signed "Wormtail"."
32. When called upon in class, I will not insist that the correct answer is 42
33. I will not add "according to the prophecy" to raise my Divination grade (though that could work)
34. I will not tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Beans taste better if you them all at once
35. Im not allowed to bother Snape and Dumbledore does not do "naked time"
36. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice
37. The four houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Brainiacs and the Junior Death Eaters.
38. My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not Gandalf
39. Yelling "to infinity and beyond" was only funny the first time I took off from my broom.
40. I will refrain from calling Fred and George - Merry and Pippin, Harry and Ron - Frodo and Sam, and it probably isnt smart to call Draco Legolas either.
41. Telling Draco to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.
42. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin”
43. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
44. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.
45. I will not tickle the sleeping dragon “just to see what happens”
46. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here
47. I will not refer to the DADA profs or Gryffindors as “Red shirts”
48. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry’s prized Firebolt
49. I will not scare the First years with wild tales of an omniscient Author who controls our very destinies.
50. Making a Polyjuice Potion and walking up to the person I copied to make them act crazy/ act like a human mirror is not funny
51. Ron Weasley does not appreciate being called “Boy Wonder” and he definitely does not want to wear green tights
52. Putting a Snitch in Malfoy’s pants really isn’t funny, even if it does make him scream like a girl.
53. Putting fake spiders in Ron’s bed is certainly not funny, especially when he tries to jump out the window.
54. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".
55. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can produce, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
56. Growing marijuana (or weed for everyone else) is not an extra credit project for Herbology. Although it might win the war if I can get Voldemort addicted.
57. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
58. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
59. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "Let me out".
60. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
61. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
62. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
63. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.
64. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
65. I will not lick Trevor. or kiss him. Even if he could turn into a Prince. It might be Snape anyways, and he wouldn't be too happy with me.
66. Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.
67. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
68. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
69. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape/McGonagall s/he takes himself too seriously.
70. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
71. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
72. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell "Pwned!"
73. Speaking like Yoda, does not a happy professor make. Funny, it is not.
74. During the Spring Annual Good vs. Evil Match I will not raise my wand in the air and yell “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!”
75. “Ooh ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang is not a spell.
76. I am not a sloth Animagus.
77. I am aloud to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not, however, allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.
78. I do not weigh the same as a duck
79. I will stop asking my Arithemancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
80. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul are completely coincidental
81. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed to as: Admiral Naismith or Mon Capitan or Napoleon.
82. Asking a Gryffindor, How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense? and walking away is only funny the FIRST time.
83. 42 is not the only answer to every questing on the OWLS
84. I am not allowed to owl suspected Death Eaters a list of Evil Overlords.
85. I will not offer to make tandoori owl.
86. I will stop asking Snape when we will make Love Potion No. 9
87. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.
88. My name is not Captain Subtext
89. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.
90. I am not the Defense Against Boring Classes professor.
91. I am not allowed to use the words pimp cane in front of Draco.
92. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed, and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the outcome would be.
93. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled Firewhiskey.
94. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.
95. First years are not to be fed to fluffy.
96. A wand is for magic. Not for picking noses, playing snooker, or practicing my drum playing no matter how bored I become.
97. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in potions class
98. First years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
99. Novelty and Holiday themed ties are not appropriate for school uniform.
100. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot
101. I should not refer the DADA teachers as the canaries in the coalmine.
102. I will restrain myself from saying: Dude, get a life. When facing Lord Voldemort.
103. I am not allowed to place muggle fairytale books under the history section of the library.
104. There is not now, nor will there ever be a fifth house at Hogwarts. I am not a member of this house, or the founder.
105. I will not refer using the Accio charm as Using the force.
106. Albus Dumbledores proper title is Headmaster, not: The Gandalf Wannabe
107. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesized her death.
108. I will not use Gryffindors and Slytherins as Christmas decorations.
109. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel and sick joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
110. If asked in class what the Avada Kadavra curse does yelling, IT DOES DEATH!! I not the appropriate response.
111. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
112. Ravenclaws do not in any circumstance find a sign saying: The library is closed for an indefinite time. Amusing in any sense.
113. I will not try to recreate the Key of Time in Transfiguration class.
114. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I will not install one in one of my muggle cars.
115. I am not allowed to use any silencing charms on my Professors.
116. I will not set Hermiones time turner to rotate every half hour.
117. If the thought of a spell causes me to giggle for more than 15 consecutive seconds, I must assume that I am not aloud to use it.
118. I will not refer my X-files videos to be: Auror Training Videos.
119. When being interrogated by the staff, I am not allowed to wave my hand and announce, These are not the droids you are looking for.
120. Albus Dumbledore is not the devil.
121. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
122. I will not follow potion instructors in reverse just to see what happens.
123. I am not to claim that there is a prequel to Hogwarts, one that explains the about Bilbo Baggins.
124. I will not, under any circumstance, ask Harry Potter who died and declared him boss.
125. I am not allowed to refer Susan Bones, Hanna Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
126. I will not cast the occasional Obliviate spell on Dumbledore, even though it would be amusing.
127. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.
128. I will not lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and make bets on which House will come out alive.
129. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are, in fact, real animals.
130. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
131. I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
132. I will not douse Harry Potters invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he becomes visible when walking in front of the fire in the common room.
133. I will not tell the first years that Moon Prism Power is the basic spell for Transfiguration.
134. I will not yell, Believe it. OR NOT! in random parts of Dumbledores speeches.
135. My name is not Dark Lord Happy Pants and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
136. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.
137. I will not try to magically animate my marshmallow peeps.
138. Never ask Harry if is Scar Senses are tingling.
139. Voldemort is not Gonandorf and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
140. I am not to sing the entire Multiplication Rock, song during Arithmancy exams.
141. I will not charm the suites of armor in the Great Hall to do a reenactment of the musical number, Were knights of the Round Table. For the Christmas Feast.
142. I will not refer Professor McGonagall as: McGoogles.
143. I am not aloud to make lightsaber noises with my wand.
144. Wearing my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school is not a good idea
145. I am not allowed to recreate famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the Charms corridor.
146. I am not to declare an official: Hug a Slytherin day.
147. I am not to refer myself as Tim the Enchanter to first years.
148. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use my war cries every time I enter a classroom.
149. It is not necessary to yell, BAM! every time I apparate.
150. I am not allowed to commandeer Gryffindors sword from Dumbledores office and use it to patrol the hallways.
151. I cannot sing Attack of the Killer Tomatoes theme song during Herbology.
152. I am not allowed to pain the house elves blue and refer to them as smurfs.
153. I will not organize the Hogwarts Fight Club
154. It is a bad idea to tell Snape that he takes himself too seriously.
155. I will not tell first years that Snape is the voice of God.
156. I will not dress up as a Dementor and use a dust buster to use on Harrys lips to try to convince him to do what I want.
157. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall
158. To conquer the earth with my army of flying monkeys is apparently not the best career option..
159. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife
160. It is not necessary to yell, Oooo BURN! every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
161. Yall check this bad boy out! is not the appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
162. I will not hold my wand up in the air before casting a spell and shout, I have the power!
163. I am not the king of the potato people and I do not have a flying carpet.
164. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do a time warp will not get me extra house points.
165. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and have students say Ni while hiding about the corridor
"You L-love me?"
92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing their asses off.
If you absolutely cannot stand the mere thought of Naruto and Sakura as a couple, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are the greatest pairing, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Thymistacles, Tenshi Namikaze, Arashigan16, Gravity The Wizard, Zentary, Dragonranger12
If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, DragonMaster4381, Demon Wraith, Leaf Ranger, Zentary, Dragonranger12
This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, and want things like this to stop then copy and paste it to your profile.
My name is sarah I am but three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight, don't make a sound!
I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse my name he calls
I press myself Against the wall.
I try and hide From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more,
I finally get free And I run for the door.
He's already locked it And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late
His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain again and again
Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.
Child Abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Now you have two choices
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart