I have NO idea what to put here, so here goes everything!
Note: My profile pic is NOT MINE! I got it from the deviantart user xmissxmiseryx. I REALLY wanted another picture of hers that looked like Team 7 as Paramore, but it wouldn't save and I couldn't put it as my profile picture TT-TT. Anyways, great work xmissxmiseryx!
Name: Catherine (Cathy-Chan)
Age: Somewhere between 0 and 100 =P
Date of Birth: December 29th
Race: Asian... FILIPINO!! Bask in the awesomeness of my Pinoy Self!
I tend to have odd personalities/moods, and here are my most frequent ones: I'm either insanely hyper, pissed off at someone or something, or feeling really depressed and emo-ish. I tend to judge people by first impressions, so make them count! I have basically invented my own special language that even I haven't figured out entirely. I AM A TOTAL KLUTZ!! I can't go by a day without falling randomly (sometimes tripping on air) and hurting myself... Ok, I exaggerated, but you get my point. I am basically glued to reading FanFics on my phone, and you can hardly see me without it. It is really weird typing on this thing, the internet sometimes sucks, and my bills are HUGE! (on Spring Break, my International Data Roaming bill was about 600 because I was glued to this thing... and that was only for a week on a cruise!!) But overall, it is an awesome phone, and I couldn't live without it... Ok, maybe I could... but life would suck! Anyway, I've recently discovered FanFiction and I've read a lot of amazing stories.
Anime/Manga That I'm Addicted To:
Naruto (& Naruto Shippuuden)
Ouran High School Host Club
La Corda d'oro (Primo and Secondo Passo)
Almost all of the Hayao Miyazaki Films
Hmm... I can't think of any more... xD I know I left something out...
OMG! There are sooo many awesome Naruto FanFic Writers out there, but I seriously have to say that Dragon Mistress of the Heavens is my All-Time favorite writer. I love her writing style and her plots, and she have me HOOKED! (ALSO, she totally gets the whole Twilight thing! AH! Someone pinch me!) Anyway, Check out their stories and DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!
KairiTakishita, Kia L Yori, and Celestial Writer are my favorite Digimon FanFic writers. (See the pattern in their stories? If not, then they all have stories based on Digimon Frontier with another group member!) Their stories are all awesome and they basically have me glued to my iPhone waiting for an update.
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!!
WISH WISH WISH WISH
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...
Your wish will be granted
Kakashi + Obito = Sharingan Eye. Sharing - an - eye
Yo mama so fat, even Naruto couldn't Believe it!
Pein can make it rain
Karin is so fat, not even Naruto can believe it!
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
A funny thing I found about the best word ever:
Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "fuck." Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word that just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.
Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word 'flicken' which means "to strike." In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley." As an intransitive verb, "Shirley fucks."
Its meaning's not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as "John's doing all the fucking work." As part of an adverb, "Shirley talks too fucking much." As an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Shirley is fucking beautiful." As a noun, "I don't give a fuck." As part of a word, "Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible." And, as almost every word in a sentence, "Fuck the fucking fuckers."
As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of "fuck", as in these examples describing situations such as:
Fraud: "I got fucked at the used car lot."
Dismay: "Aw fuck it."
Trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now."
Aggression: "Don't fuck with me buddy."
Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question!"
Inquiry: "Who the fuck was that?"
Dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here."
In Confidence: "He's a fuck off."
Dismissal: "Why don't you go outside and play 'hide and go fuck yourself?'"
I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly and proudly, "Fuck you!"
COMEBACKS FOR LOUSY PICK-UP LINES!
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
Some crap that would never happen on Naruto: (My Comments)
Some crap that would never happen on Naruto: (My Comments)
Naruto will stop saying believe it. (Actually, didn't he stop in the Anime?)
Hinata will stop blushing so much around Naruto. (SHOW HIM THAT HE NEEDS YOU MORE THAN RAMEN HINATA!!)
Ino will stop being a bitch. (She's not THAT bad... I've totally seen worse from me!)
Tsunade will admit her boobs are fake. (PSSSHH! AS IF! Totally fake...)
Kakashi will tell everyone about his life. (After he stops getting lost on its road..)
Orochimaru will stop being gay. (NOT TO MENTION BEING A PEDOPHILE!!)
Kabuto will stop being his bitch/whore. (=/ COME TO THE GOOD SIDE!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!)
Sasuke will come back to Sakura. (After he stops being a manwhore and she beats the living shit out of him for leaving her on a BENCH!)
Karin and Sasuke will get together. ((gags))
Karin will stop being a bitch. (Nothing to say. You know it won't happen!)
Suigetsu will give up water forever. (Who doesn't love water?!)
Itachi will leave the Akatsuki and he and Sasuke will be friends again. (Aww!! Come on! It wasn't his fault Konoha was corrupt!)
Kisame will admit he's a homosexual. (ADMIT IT DUDE!!)
Minato Namikaze will come back to life and everything will be okay. ((starts to do a weird voodoo dance to make him come back))
Deidara will admit he's really a woman. (DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!)
Sasori and Sakura will get together. (NOOOO! NOOOOOO! IT MUST HAPPEN! That's it, I'm deleting this from the list)
Gaara will have kids. (With Sakura!)
Orochimaru will come out and admit he is really Michael Jackson. ((ROTFLMAO))
Tobi is in his right state of mind. (He's just sugar high! CATHY IS A GOOD GIRL!)
Sasuke will stop being such an asshole. (After Naruto and Sakura beat the shit out of him)
Asuma will stop smoking. (You know that stuff is addicting! ... Alright, you caught me, I've never smoked in my life so I wouldn't know...)
Tsunade will give up gambling. (PSH! Let's give up sake along with it!)
And the Akatsuki will disappear, Karin will die by the hands of Sasuke, Sasuke will admit his love for Sakura, and Kakashi and Anko will get together. (Aww! My dreams are RUINED!)
If you agree/disagree, copy this into your profile and comment them yourself!
10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horiscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing
WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"
"Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson
"That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg
"To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare
"I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry
"Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin
"And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses
"To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush
"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss
"In my day, we didn't as why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa
"Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld
"The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon
"This was an unprevoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein
"I missed one?" -Colonel Sanders
Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over. When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it. Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it? Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional... We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it Life was so simple when boys had cooties! Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL! · If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches? · What disease did cured ham have? · Why do we say we “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every hour and a half? · Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise? · Instead of “All things in moderation,” shouldn’t it be “Some things in moderation”? · Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”? · Why is it called quicksand when it sucks you down very, very slowly? · When French people swear, do they say, “Pardon my English”? · Why is it called the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? · Why are they called marbles if they’re made out of glass? · If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw the Earth out of its orbit? · What color hair do bald men put on their driver’s license? · How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes? · How do you throw away a garbage can? · Why do we put our suits in a garment bag and our garments in a suitcase? · When two airplanes almost collide, why is it a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be a “near hit”? · How can something be both “new” and “improved”? · Why do we shut up, but quiet down?
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.
When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it
Life was so simple when boys had cooties!
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!
· If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
· What disease did cured ham have?
· Why do we say we “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every hour and a half?
· Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise?
· Instead of “All things in moderation,” shouldn’t it be “Some things in moderation”?
· Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?
· Why is it called quicksand when it sucks you down very, very slowly?
· When French people swear, do they say, “Pardon my English”?
· Why is it called the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
· Why are they called marbles if they’re made out of glass?
· If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw the Earth out of its orbit?
· What color hair do bald men put on their driver’s license?
· How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
· How do you throw away a garbage can?
· Why do we put our suits in a garment bag and our garments in a suitcase?
· When two airplanes almost collide, why is it a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be a “near hit”?
· How can something be both “new” and “improved”?
· Why do we shut up, but quiet down?
· How did the “Keep Off the Grass” sign get there in the first place?
Want to do something to help stop Global Warming?
Here are 9 simple things you can do and how much carbon dioxide you’ll save doing them.
Change the Light
Replacing one regular light bulb with a compact fluorescent light bulb will save 150 pounds of carbon dioxide a year.
Walk, bike, carpool or take mass transit often. You’ll save one pound of carbon dioxide for ever mile you don’t drive!
You can save 2,400 pounds of carbon dioxide per year by recycling just half of your household waste.
Check your Tires
Keeping your tires inflated properly can improve gas mileage by more than 3. Every gallon of gasoline saved keeps 20 pounds of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere!
Use less Hot Water
It takes a lot of energy to heat water. Use less hot water by installing a low flow showerhead (150 pounds of CO2 saved per year) and washing your clothes in cold or warm water (500 pounds saved per year)
Avoid products with a lot of packaging
You can 1,200 pounds on carbon of carbon dioxide if you cut down your garbage by 10
Adjust your Thermostat
By moving your thermostat just 2 degrees in winter and up 2 degrees in summer you could save 2,000 pounds of carbon dioxide a year with this simple adjustment.
Plant a Tree
A single tree will absorb one ton of carbon dioxide over its lifetime
Turn off Electronic Devices
Simply turning off your television, DVD player, stereo, and computer when you’re not using them will save you thousands of pounds of carbon dioxide a year.
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
"When I was born I was black,"
"When you're born you're pink,"
Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
This is just a nice poem that I found on someone's profile. =)
7 Ways to Scare the Shit out of Your Roommates
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate with a sadisitic look and mutter, "Soon...soon..."
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you’re hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
22 Things to do at Wal-Mart
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
"'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone? WHy are you yelling at me...??"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.
21. Go to a random aisle and try to reach the top item. When someone comes and asks you if you need help, scream loudly "I can't reach my chexcereal!" and keep screaming it until they go away.
22. Stand in the middle of an aisle way and burst out into the Pepto Bismol song, dance moves included.
1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
2. Thou shall not do drugs.
3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
6. Thou shall not get into fights.
7. Thou shall not skip class.
8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
Read every line
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
2) Read Every 3 word of each line
Advice That Guys Should Take... It's True
WHEN SHE ACTS SHY
-SAY I LOVE YOU
WHEN SHE RUNS AWAY FROM YOU
- CHASE HER
WHEN SHE PUTS HER FACE NEAR YOURS
- KISS HER
WHEN SHE KICKS & PUNCHES
- HOLD HER TIGHT
WHEN SHE IS SILENT
- SHE'S THINKIN OF HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU
WHEN SHE IGNORES YOU
- SHE WANTS ALL YOUR ATTENTION!
WHEN SHE PULLS AWAY
- GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND NEVER LET GO
WHEN YOU SEE HER AT HER WORST
- TELL HER SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!
WHEN SHE SAYS NOTHING IS WRONG
- A MILLION THINGS ARE RUNNING THROUGH HER HEAD
WHEN SHE SCREAMS AT YOU
- TELL HER YOU LOVE HER BUT MEAN IT
WHEN YOU SEE HER WALKING
-SNEAK UP BEHIND HER GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND GIVE HER A KISS
WHEN SHE'S SCARED!!
-HOLD HER AND TELL HER EVERYTHING WILL BE OK CAUSE SHE'S WITH YOU
WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHINGS THE MATTER
- KISS HER AND TELL HER NOT TO WORRY
WHILE SHE HOLDS YOUR HANDS
- PLAY WITH HER FINGERS
ONLY IN AMERICA...
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks
...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front
...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8
...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter
...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke
...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages
...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place
...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures
This is why Human Kind is Doomed
(these are from actual products)
On a blanket from Taiwan.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists.
On a Taiwanese shampoo.
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink.
On a New Zealand insect spray.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles.
On a Sears hairdryer.
On a bag of Fritos.
On a bar of Dial soap.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding.
On a Korean kitchen knife.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights.
On a Japanese food processor.
On Sainsbury's peanuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts.
On a child's superman costume.
On some frozen dinners.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine.
On Nytol sleep aid.
QUOTES! (So many are missing from here!)
"Love me or hate me still an obsession, love me or hate me that is the question. If you love me then, THANK YOU! If you hate me then, FUCK YOU!" -Lady Soverign (sp?) "Love me or hate me"!
"Shove THAT up your juice-box and SUCK IT!" -Me!
"Shove that in your cigarette/pieces of paper and SMOKE IT!" -Me!
"Woah, woah, woah! I'm a bitch?! If I'm a bitch, then you're a bitch! If you're a bitch, then your mom is a bitch for having a bitch, and your dad is a bitch for banging a bitch! So who's the bitch now, BITCH?!" -ME!
"...What are you snorting and where can I get some?" -Me!
"Tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him!" -3OH!3 "Don't Trust Me"
"Don't trust a hoe!" -3OH!3 "Don't Trust Me"
"...and maybe someday I'll believe (maybe someday I'll believe) that we are all apart of some bigger plan. Tonight I just don't give a damn! (so shut your mouth and listen in) If the world is ending, I'M THROWING THE PARTY!" -Cobra Starship "Guilty Pleasure"
"I need to get out and figure this shit out." -Rihanna "Disturbia"
"...They slap you like a bitch and you take it like a whore." -Marianas Trench "Shake Tramp"
"Save me from being confused." -Carolina Liar "Show Me What I'm Looking For"
"I believe the world is burning to the ground. Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out." -Matchbox Twenty "How Far We've Come"
"I'll NEVER LET GO!" -Rose from "Titanic" ... The ironc thing is that she let him sink after he died...
"Turn the lights off in this place, and she shines just like a star." -Ne-Yo "Closer"
"I'm a new soul in this very strange world hoping I could learn about what is true and fake, but since I've came here I've felt the joy and the fear of finding myself making every possible mistake" -Nael Yaim? "New Soul"
"I'll keep you my dirty little secret... Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret!" -All American Rejects "Dirty Little Secret"
" I suffer from C.R.S.-Can't Remember Shit." -Me
"If you haven't noticed, my eyebrows have COMPLETELY grown back!" -Seamus Finagin (sp?)
"We won't stop until somebody calls the cops, and even then we'll start again and just pretend that nothing ever happened." -Juno Soundtrack "Loose Lips"
"It's a land of peace and joy ... and joyness!" -One of the Unicorns from "Charlie the Unicorn" (YouTube)
"I found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb!" -Ron Weasley's puppet from "Potter Puppet Pals Mysterious Ticking Noise" (YouTube)
"Yeah, silence is "golden" but duct tape is SILVER AND STICKY!"
"A LOSER is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work."
"When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap them across the mother-fucking room!" -Jordan O.
"Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place. If only we had ways to make it all fall faster every day! If only time flew like a dove. We could watch it fly faster than I'm falling in love." -Paramore "Hallelujah"
"They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Hell, I'm PRETTY sure the guns help because if you stood there and yelled "BANG" I don't think you'd kill a lot of people."
"Don't you dare say the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon."
"I'm so sick an tired of being sick and tired!" -Fannie Lou Hamer
"I DID NOT SLAP YOU! ... I merely high-fived your face!"
Amina L: Don't mess with me! I am in a bad mood and have to cut this project out in 15 minutes!
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But, if you haven't leaned the meaning of friendship, you reall haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali
Tiffany O: Hey, you're trying to become a dentist when you grow up, right?
"Can I have your number?!" -Darrel "Can I Have Your Number Mad TV" (YouTube)
"...THIS SPOON IS HUGE!" -Nitika A.
"Then I'll force you to listen! Even if I have to cut off your ears and shout into them!" -Uzumaki Naruto
"Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!" -Martin Luther King Jr.
Evan L: Why are you here? (He was actually asking why I was in wrong classroom -.-' Well I really wanted to use this line that I heard from someone... idk who though...)
"Excellence isn't a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do." -Shaquille O'Neal
"I'm SO hungry I can ride a horse! ... I mean EAT a horse... My bad..." -Kevin W
"Just quote me dammit!" -Megan M..
"I'm STUPID = I'm a Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand." -Me
Jafar, Jafar, he's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!-- Genie from Aladdin
People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. --W. Somerset Maugham
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. --Doug Larson
I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell. --Harry S Truman
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha.-- Donkey from Shrek
Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS. -- Donkey from Shrek
Wow, only a true friend would be that truely honest. --Donkey
It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder!--Donkey
"Girl, the back of your head is RIDICULOUS!" -Darrel "Can I Have Your Number" (YouTube)
Oh no no no, dead broad OFF THE TABLE!-- Shrek
We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!-- Donkey
NO! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!-- Gingerbread Man
Yeah, right, brimstone, don't be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn't no brimstone and it didn't come off no stone neither.-- Donkey
I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going. --Donkey (Can you tell i think Donkey is funny?)
Yeah, but it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.-- Shrek about Donkey
"WORK THAT UP-DO!" -Darrel "Can I Have Your Number" (YouTube)
Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOR-BLIND! --Donkey
Now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding? --Lord Farquaad
Personal philosophy-clothing optional. -- Chazz Michael Michaels from Blades Of Glory
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
Barbossa: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. (pause) Means "no".
Pintel: 'Ello, Poppet.
Will Turner: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.
Jack Sparrow: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.
Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north,
Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Jack Sparrow: Take what ye can!
Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Mans Chest
Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got.
Jack Sparrow: to Elizabeth One word love: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day you won't be able to resist.
Jack Sparrow: 'Ello, beastie.
Elizabeth Swann: It's real!
Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At Worlds End
Jack Sparrow: Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard!
Tia Dalma: Now don't tell me you didn't enjoy it at the time.
Jack Sparrow: Well, then you wouldn't be here, would you? So you can't be here! Q.E.D. - you're not really here!
Barbossa: Aye, we're good and lost now.
Jack Sparrow: We must fight, to run away!
Jack Sparrow: I haven't the face for tentacles. But, immortality has to count for something, eh?
Pintel: He's rocking the ship!
Jack Sparrow: Can't spot it. Must be a tiny thing hiding somewhere behind the Pearl.
Jack Sparrow: Cruel is a matter of perspective.
Jack Sparrow: Nobody move! Dropped me brain.
Captain Jocard: Who is this traitor?
Jack Sparrow: I leave you people alone for just a minute look what happens, everything's gone to pot.
Lord Cutler Beckett: It's just good business.
Jack Sparrow: Why would he do that? Because he's a lummox, isn't he? Well we shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited!
Officer: Do you think he plans it all out or just makes it up as he goes along?
Lord Cutler Beckett: You're mad.
Gibbs: Well, slap me thrice and hand me to me mama!
Jack Sparrow: Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by.
Jack Sparrow: Now we're being followed by rocks. Never had that one before.
Jack Sparrow: He made you captain? They're giving the bloody title away now.
Elizabeth Swann: We've come to rescue you.
"Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry that'll never change." -Paramore "Misery Business"
"Sorry I'm late! I got lost on the road of life." -Hatake Kakashi
"Be self-confident and DROP YOUR TOWELS!" -Rachel
"WHAT?! Why wasn't he affected by my sexiness?!" -Yamanaka Ino
"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand oranges."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away... If well aimed!"
"A positive attitude may not solve any of your problems, but it'll annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
"You say tomato, I say shut the fuck up!"
"Konoha's hidden village secret taijutsu technique (sticks fingers in Naruto's butt) THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!" -Hatake Kakashi
"All I've been doing is watching you two from behind... now, get a good look at my back!" - Haruno Sakura
"My first impression of you is that I hate you." - Hatake Kakashi
"You know they leaked all over my bacon?! NOT COOL!" -Tiffany O.
"Naruto, it's nice that you removed the poison so spiritedly, but you'll bleed to death if you lose any more... seriously." - Hatake Kakashi
Me: The world is round!
Misa A: I can't even imagine living in a world without Light!!
"A person is able to become truly strong when they wish to protect someone they cherish."- Haku
"DATTEBAYO!" -Uzumaki Naruto
"I'm not JUST a pervert...I'm a SUPER-PERVERT!!"- Jiraya
"I know! Place a bet on me to die because, knowing your luck, I'll be sure to come back then!" -Jiraya
"I've gotta jar of diiirrrtt!! I'va gotta jar of diirrrtt!! Guess what's inside it!!" -Jack Sparrow
"You've got a touch of destiny about you." -Tia Dalma
(This is after my friend's parents joked around and said that they would send her to a therapist) "WHAT?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Have you even noticed how THERAPISTS is spelled THE-RAPISTS?! You're sending your own daughter to see rapists! I thought you loved me! What next?!" -Danielle C.
"Other men said they have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough." -G. Moore
"Why should I help you? All of you have tried to kill me, and one of you suceeded." -Jack Sparrow
"You fowl and loathesome evil little cockroach!" -Hermione Granger
"Follow the spiders?! Why couldn't it be follow the butterflies?!" -Ron Weasley
"Weasley is our King!" -Slitherin (SP?)
“I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer. But yours? How can I forgive YOUR murderer?”
"Don't make me go all AUSTRALIAN on you!" -Olivia M.
Dude That Was My Tourguide In The Mountains: "Did you know that groundhogs are actually squirrels?" Me: "God! Is EVERYTHING becoming obese?!"
"I am the precautionary whale." -Juno
"Why is the RUM always gone?!" -Jack Sparrow
"Just Do It!" -Nike
"You WISH your A-Cups were more like mine!" -Olivia M.
"I suffer from insanity and enjoy every minute of it =)"
Jason O: Wazzup bra! Jordan O: What the hell?! Did you just call me a bra?! DO I LOOK LIKE A PIECE OF WOMEN'S LINGERIE TO YOU?!
"Build some mountains! Find some JOY!" -Connie S. (Mrs. Stone!)
Mrs. Justice: Ok, since Karina isn't here, who doesn't have a lunch? ((nobody raises their hands)) Ok then... Who do you think she would give it to?
"Hey! He's getting his balls cut off today! Give him some slack!" -? "Marley and Me"
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” -"The Little Prince" Chapter 21
"Death is a day worth living for."
Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn
A good friend will comfort you if you get rejected by a guy. A BEST FRIEND will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
"Deep down everyone's true name is...Bob."
"Worst time to get heart attacks; during charades."
"Algebra : x+y=BAD."
"Reading is my escape for reality."
“You know why people think you’re bright before you talk? Because light travels faster than sound!”
“Here’s 104¥ (about 40p in Britain), go call all your friends and bring back the change.”
“Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?”
“Hi! I’m a human being! What’re you?”
“Any similarities between you and a human are purely coincidental.”
“I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up mY ass!”
“Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you’re abusing that privilege!”
“If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!”
“I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!”
"Rock, Paper, Chuck Norris. I win."
"Why do we kill people who kill people to show people killing people is wrong?"
"Don't follow in my footsetps... I run into walls."
"You're an AMAZING friend... But if the zombies are after us, I'm tripping you."
"You'll always be my friend... You know too much."
"I don't "fall" for guys... I trip!"
"Don't fall for someone unless they are strong enough/willing to catch you."
"Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted."
"I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue."
"We're so hot, we make fire stop, drop, and roll."
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
"Twilight - Forcing guys to consider body glitter since 2003."
"Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question was."
"Sarcasm is just another free service I offer."
"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
"A sharp tongue can cut your own throat."
"If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep."
"Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important."
"The best vitamin for making friends... B1."
"The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts."
"The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.."
"One thing you can give and still keep...is your word."
"You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself."
"If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished."
"One thing you can't recycle is wasted time."
"Ideas won't work unless 'you' do."
"Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open."
"You can't say slaughter without laughter!"
"The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice."
"Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back."
"The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what you might have been."
"Life is short; Break the rules! Forgive quickly; Kiss slowly! Love truly; Laugh uncontrollably! And most importantly, NEVER regret anything that made you smile!" =D
"If you fall down the stairs, ur not watching where ur walkin, if you fall up the stairs, where's somethin wrong there"
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you."
"If at first you don't success, redefine success."
"Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."
"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
"It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!"
"Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."
"Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!"
"Survival. What a drag."
"Best friends means killing each other over a bag of chips and in the end not saying sorry but...ha-ha to bad loser!"
"Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself."
"One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'"
"You have nothing to eat except this thing that looks like its living in your refrigerator…okay I think it just moved….yep, it definitely just moved…that’s disgusting.”
"No, if you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic."
"Like I always say, there's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."
"You, off my planet."
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.”
"Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous."
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If you die, I'll kill you!
A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Don't steal, the government hates competition
I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.
Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"
"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge".
"I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary."
"I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."
"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!"
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
Homework is killing trees, stop the madness!
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.
"I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet"
"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too!
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.
Any friend of yours ... is a friend of yours.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.
How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot off his/her head!
I'm bored. Run for your sanity.
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school.
Evil beware, we have waffles.
Join the dark side...We've got cookies, !
"Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius."
"Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math."
-The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.-
What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks!
I'm gonna survive even if it kills me.
"Sweetie the only fan you have is the one on your ceiling."
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Make yourself at home ...clean my kitchen
The silent ones are always the deadliest.
I’ll be dead before I die.
Lol...I just had a funny idea! Wait never mind...I lost it...
"okay..you know what..I quit"
It is what it is... less it isn't.
Ha ha... wait ... what?
I'm confused... wait maybe I'm not.
I never finish anyth
He who laughs last thinks slowest, but he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
"We must fight, to run away!" -Captain Jack Sparrow
I'm TERRIBLE at writing, spelling, and grammar ((sheds a small tear)) so sorry for the multiple typos you may see anywhere.