timunderwood9
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Joined 01-25-09, id: 1816893, Profile Updated: 04-07-15
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, and Pride and Prejudice.

Its ALIVE. I mean live. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Colins's Widow is now live on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo and Smashwords. Also here is the Amazon UK link.

I am trying to make a living writing so please support me by buying a copy if you can. Also there are a few tweaks that make the published version a little better. So if you loved it and want to reread... Also if you don't want to buy a copy you can still support me if you are interested by leaving a review.

Also for any international readers in one of those markets where Amazon levies a giant surcharge for Kindle purchases, please, please correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe if you buy through Smashwords you just pay for the book. Whether you buy a copy of my book or not, that is probably worth keeping in mind if you buy indie books.


It would be helpful for readers new to a fandom if authors who regularly used fandom specific websites mentioned them in their profile.

For Pride and Prejudice fanfiction dwiggie.com and A Happy Assembly are big (though Dwiggie is much less active today) AHA has adult stories, while Dwiggie does not.

Portkey is a big H/Hr site, and allows lemons, I'm not sure how active it currently is, but there is a large archive, and some stories are only there.

There is a large Doctor Who archive A Teaspoon and an Open Mind, not being a consistent Whovian I don't use it, but you should know about it.

I added this to my profile because I just discovered the existence of a Buffy crossover site, Twisting the Hellmouth.

I haven't read more than one story here yet, but the Anime Addventure has a lot of Ranma and Sailor Moon stories, including the quite entertaining (and long) Dungeon Keeper Ami.

Twilighted is the Twilight site I spent time reading when I read that fandom.

I've never looked at the site itself, but when people who write at Dark Lord Potter post on this site it usually is good.

There are a bunch of story threads in the spacebattles forums, though I've looked up the Familiar of Zero stories

If anyone reading regularly reads a JAFF, Les Miserables, Naruto, H/Hr, Familiar of Zero, Skyrim, Buffy, Ranma, crossover collection (or really any categort that shows up in my favorites) site not listed here please tell me. If it looks like a cool site I'll add it to this list.

Pride and Prejudice fandom Pet Peeves (by reviewer request. Sadly, a rather short list, since I see less stupid than in HP or Naruto):

Miss Bingley doesn't actually need to be clinically insane. Right?

This is a tastes differ, but I cannot stand stories where the characters are kept apart forever do to something that a simple conversation would resolve.

Don't make Elizabeth literally perfect. Please. Sure make her a Mary Sue who is awesome, but limit it to, like, three languages and one genius level hobby, not ten.

I would be surprised if any couple ever was forced to marry because of inappropriate behavior if they had not been at least frenching. If someone tripped and accidentally groped a woman some mysterious social force would not demand they immediately marry. I like forced marriage fics more than the next person, but the way the idea of 'compromise' is used in fics is silly. Note: a couple getting caught actually doing something would have been a big issue.

Matchmaking Mamas. I used Google's word frequency tool, the term never showed up until a book somewhere in the early 20th century, then there was another book that used it in the forties, and it became more popular since 1980. Not authentic. But annoying, to me at least.

Harry Potter Pet Peeves:

"I swear on my magic that X is true" -- This is the biggest problem because it is usually bad story telling. It makes a better story when people come to trust each other by developing their relationships, not by using a light show. Further, if Harry can do this, so can the bad guys, Voldemort can, and would, demand people swear certain things on their magic.

As a result the books couldn't have happened: when the Marauders thought there was a traitor in their group they would have made everyone swear on their magic that they weren't traitors. Additionally, you can get around this and veritaserum with obliviation. Methods of Rationality explains what is wrong with the idea that you can give people veritaserum and trust what they say.

Time Travelers should not try to avoid changing the timeline; changes occur: deal with it. And if they trust the leader, they should tell him.

Don't write a sorting hat song. Please don't. I don't care if you've changed it, I still won't read it.

Time dilation fields allowing large amounts of subjective time to pass while the character ages normally would change everything about how everyone acts if they were commercially available.

Bully!Super!Harry is the bad guy when he terrifies an 11 year old Malfoy. When kids are assholes you ignore them. Even if they just insulted your girlfriend.

Goblins pretend to be impressed when Harry recognizes Griphook as the one true financial adviser so they can rip him off better. On a related note, invest in the stock market through Vanguard index funds. You'll be happy you did in a few decades. If you are working with a commission based financial adviser he is taking at least 10% of your money every decade. If you are trying to pick stocks yourself you will fail.

Pointless generosity: I'm an utilitarian, If you have money you should use it effectively. Giving Ginny 20 million pounds when Harry sells the basilisk because Riddle used her to open the Chamber is wasting 19 million pounds. Use the rest to help other poor students. Or much better give it to Doctors Without Borders to stop Ebola and give life saving drugs to kids with malaria and tuberculosis. Charity should start with the neediest, not the nearest. Save people's lives, then let them fulfill their dream of not going to bed hungry, and then help English school girls pay for tuition.

Rowling's prophecy is nonsense. "Neither can live while the other survives"-- that isn't fulfilled by the horcrux or Harry's sucky life, or anything, because it is a nonsense phrase, literally impossible. I hate epic!Rowling (as opposed to witty!Rowling, who I love). Maybe Dumbledore lying about the prophecy is canon.

You shouldn't put a disclaimers in Pride and Prejudice fan fiction. Jane Austen does not own Pride and Prejudice, humanity does. It is in the public domain. You actually can write a P&P fanfic and stick it on the amazon kindle store; its totally legal.

Hermione: "You're in all sorts of books!!!"

Harry: "Nobody knows what happened, so those books are totally inaccurate, you really shouldn't believe everything you read"

Sure, but does Harry have to be rude? Also meeting someone you've read about is just cool. It doesn't matter if the books are accurate. And it usually feels like Harry is rude in these scenes. Is it the best start to a H/Hr dynamic to have Harry shut Hermione's enthusiastic greeting down? Also, I think Hermione's opening lines are adorable.

General Fan Fiction Comments:

Thoughts on Good Writing:

You probably shouldn't take creative writing textbooks too seriously. They teach how to produce a specific type of story-- which isn't the story you want to write. Look for books which did something you liked, and figure out how they did it.

Length and Pacing:

Long stories should be broken into subarcs. Each subarc should have its own climax and resolution. Ignoring structure and pacing is the biggest reason long fan fics drag. Sub sections should probably be between 75-150,000 words. War and Peace is around 500k words, and broken into 4 sub novels. Les Miserables is 500k words, and broken into five pieces. BTW Les Miserables' pacing is probably perfect. Harry Potter is 800-1000k words, and broken into 7 pieces. And it would be a better series if the later chunks were smaller.

Financial Service Professionals are Evil:

Making Goblins bankers because they aren't allowed to eat babies is more realistic than making goblins a proud warrior race that loves Harry. Harry is retarded if he instinctively trusts the goblins. In the real world trusting financial professionals will cost you around 10-20% of your money each decade. Not doing the work to make sure you aren't ripped off by financial advisors is a personal flaw. It is not cute, it is not good, it is bad when Harry doesn't care about his money.

Harry and Gringotts can have a close, mutually profitable relationship. Lots of reasons can be imagined for why the goblins would treat Harry very well, despite having the opportunity to take advantage of him. And a sophisticated Harry can manage his relationship with the goblins. However most people who don't know what they are doing will be taken advantage of by the Goblins. Real banks make money by ripping off customers.

It would be cool if "Lord Potter" stories which start with a visit to the goblins had the Potter family as traditional ally of the goblins (and probably other non-humans too). Helping the heir of a family they owe substantial favors to provides a better motivation for aiding Harry than a generalized interest in helping large account holders.

Last two books from a Hermione centric perspective:

Just pretend parts of HBP didn't happen. I don't mind Hermione chasing Ron; her reaction to the book isn't that OC. However, Hermione would help Harry figure out what Malfoy is up to, and help him get Slughorn's memory.

First, Malfoy is sixteen: old enough to kill; old enough to be inducted into adult concerns. Voldemort would bind the son of a chief lieutenant to him. And besides Snape, Malfoy is the obvious choice for a mission in Hogwarts, who else is Voldemort going to ask? Filch?

Second, Hermione, Ron, and several adults know everything Harry does about Malfoy. It doesn't make sense only Harry would make the obviously correct deduction. In the 'real' Potterverse everyone agrees Malfoy is up to something.

Third, Hermione in earlier books constantly helps Harry, and would drop everything if he needed her. Are we really supposed to believe she never once over several months tried to figure out a way to find out what Draco was up to?

Fourth, Hermione pushes Harry to worry about getting the memory from Slughorn instead of Draco, since Harry can't try to talk to a professor and try to figure out what a fellow student is up to in the same month. However when Harry tells her he is trying to corner Slughorn, but Slughorn is avoiding him, Hermione's response is "try harder to corner him-- ooooh Ron is tired of Lavender, but is too cowardly to break up with her!!! YESSSS!!! HERMIONE LOVES RON!!!

Book 1-5 Hermione would have helped with Malfoy and Slughorn. Being annoyed Harry outperformed her with the HBP's book is IC I think.

Book 7 is nicer to Hermione (though the book is unpleasant). She was packed at the wedding. She gets them out of fights, etc. On the other hand we are supposed to believe Harry and Hermione spend three months together never having a significant conversation. Please.

Ethics of Time Travel:

Destroying the future kills billions of people. The instant before billions of people are conscious. The next instant they don't exist anymore, even if the person they were fifteen years ago suddenly does. Anyone who time travels at any time can destroy everything up to the point they travel back to, our entire civilization could suddenly never have existed if they travel back 3000 years. Anything we fight and struggle for has the potential to suddenly stop existing. This is really, really bad; the year 3000 will probably never exist until someone kills enough people to prevent 'future' time travelers from existing.

So time travel stories should usually be premised on traveling to an alternate universe, where 'time branches' and the original universe still exists. The protagonist is abandoning his original reality, and not saving anybody in it, but it is better than killing six billion people so he can get his prepubescent dead girlfriend to fall in love with him again.

The exception is a story premised on 'fate' or 'the powers that be' sending the hero back. 'They' presumably know what they are doing, and arguing ethics with Fate is pointless.

Another exception is a stable time line, where the time traveler creates the future where the time traveler comes from-- but with occasional exceptions I personally don't like those stories.

Also read Orson Scott Card's "The Redemption of Christopher Columbus" it correctly deals with the ethics of overwriting the future (though it ignores how it will be rewritten again and again).

Hermione's Parents:

For me it feels natural to see Hermione's parents as distant and unconcerned. It fits with canon. Hermione consistently avoids them, they never matter, and she (happily?) erases their memory and sends them to Australia. Clearly the relationship is not very important to Hermione.

I do like stories where Mr. and Mrs. Granger are very nice people named Dan and Emma (though the convention became slightly disturbing when I found out it comes from the names of the actors who play Harry and Hermione) Just the stories I'm working on have Hermione's parents doing their dentist thing while Hermione happily lies to them. Also on the Grangers: People need to write more stories where they are Dawn and Xander from Buffy. I love those stories.

Harry/Ginny:

Just because Ginny is a fan girl with a crush in Chamber of Secrets does not mean she is incapable of seeing the real Harry in Half Blood Prince.

In canon Harry/ Ginny develops slowly and Ginny is not an important character. Ginny has a huge crush on Harry initially. By the start of her fourth year it is no longer there. She talks to Harry, and dates other people. She likes dating other people. However she has a soft spot for Harry, I still have something of a soft spot for old crushes, and I'd be surprised if most people don't. So when she realizes Harry has a crush on her in Half Blood Prince she is very willing to pursue it once her relationship with Dean falls apart. This is not a fan girl stalker thing, but a high school relationship with her brother's best friend. At least that is my interpretation.

Rowling could have developed the relationship better, but the Harry Potter is not a romance series. In case you missed it, Harry Potter is not a romance series. Rowling does not care who ships with who; the relationships exist because hormones are part of being a teenager. Rowling did not pair Hermione with Ron because she thinks they are a great romantic couple. Harry is not with Ginny because they make a great couple either. Ginny was not ignored in Deathly Hallows by accident.

Also remember time spent developing Ginny would make the novels longer, and distract their focus away from the Golden Trio. In my experience it is rare for a story to work well with more than three core characters.

Finding Horcruxes:

Voldemort should be defeated more often without destroying the horcruxes. Voldemort was insane and stupid. So he stuck the horcruxes in places they could be found. An intelligent dark lord would put his horcruxes in objects and locations with no significance.

It should not be possible to find the horcruxes by figuring out the clues. Either magic should find the horcruxes, or one of the many, many potential methods for semi permanently neutralizing the dark lord without killing him should be used.

Wizarding Demographics:

I'm not interested in stories where Hermione has been abused by Ron for years. Not if she has access to her wand. Or his.

Gender relations in the wizarding world have probably always been more equal than in our world. Historically there were good economic reasons for a gendered division of labor. Technology that allowed women and men to do equally well at most jobs, and substantially reduced the amount of domestic labor required was invented at the same time as modern feminism. This probably isn't a coincidence.

Wizarding families have probably always been small also, because dynamics of high child death rates, and uneducated women in domestic roles drove historical birth rates.

The wizarding population in America would probably be smaller relative to the muggle population than in Europe. America (and Australia) were populated by immigrants who had large families. The immigrants came for economic opportunities caused by unsettled land. It seems unlikely wizards had more opportunities in America than Europe, the opposite is likely. Hence no massive inflow of immigrants. The population grew quickly in colonial America because excess land let people eat better than in Europe. A larger fraction of children survived and the population exploded. Eventually education, technology, and feminism meant most children survived everywhere, at which point birth rates collapsed to slightly below replacement levels. Most wizarding children have probably always survived, so wizarding birth rates have probably been close to modern birth rates for a very long time. Also wizarding families in America wouldn't be much larger than in Europe.

This model of wizard demographics might explain why blood wars are occurring. The wizarding population has shrunk relative to the muggle population. So the fraction of wizards who are muggleborn has risen. And the higher muggle standard of living causes muggleborn wizards to be less accepting of wizarding traditions (a sick half starved illiterate medieval peasant is far less likely to argue about how you should treat house elves than Hermione). These factors drive increasing tension. Wars happen when old balances of power get upset.

This also justifies the trope where Wizarding America is more progressive than Wizarding Britain. If most American wizards have recent muggle ancestors they would be more attached to their roots, and more open to muggle ideas.

R/Hr:

H/Hr shippers are Hermione centric so we focus on why Ron sucks. However take the other perspective. An unambitious man, with an inferiority complex, is paired with a far smarter driven woman. Ron is going to spend his life being nagged about not working harder, being told he is an idiot, and feeling like half a person because his wife has a far more impressive career than him. I see Hermione ignoring her husband, and finding fulfillment in her job. Which isn't either sad or happy.

Harmony stories where Harry pines after Hermione who is engaged/ married to Ron don't interest me. Half the point of H/Hr is Hermione wouldn't marry Ron. The key moment in my version of a R/Hr relationship is when Ron asks Hermione to marry him, and she thinks about whether she wants to. And she decides, despite being currently in love with him, not to spend the rest of her life with him. Hermione would think about it. And she think of all the objections we have to the ship. Because she is Hermione. And she would research what sorts of relationships work well, and what things it is important to agree on before marriage. And if your Hermione still thinks after all that she wants to marry your version of Ron, maybe you should write an R/Hr story.

Canon!Hermione is not desperate. She is not convinced she is the least attractive girl in the room. She is not going to marry Ron because she can't afford to be picky. She has options, and she knows it. Victor Krum. Cormac McLaggen. Ron Weasley. She has a substantial number of admirers, several of whom are high quality. In HBP she pursues Ron because she wants him, not because she decided to settle at 17.

Hermione in the Trio:

My interpretation of canon is Hermione felt like both Harry and Ron were her boys, and hence was mildly jealous when Harry interacted with Cho. Also Cho would pull Harry away from his focus on the trio, and Hermione didn't want that. I suspect she semi intentionally sabotaged their date in OotP. She wasn't interested in Ron in OotP, but didn't have a full blown crush on Harry. Though, if Harry had been showing subtle hints of interest in OotP, the way Ron was, Hermione probably would have encouraged him. Hermione in HBP only pursues Ron when he flirts with an interested Lavender. Under this reading Hermione is okay with Harry being with Ginny, because it ties the trio closer together. The Big Happy Weasely Family is Hermione's construction because it lets her permanently protect her school relationships. Which suggests stories where they never talk despite being in-laws are missing something important.

Minister Fudge:

The popular myth about Neville Chamberlein, the Munich Agreement, and appeasement claims Hitler was obviously dangerous, but the cowardly Chamberlein ignored this threat and signed a peace agreement he stupidly thought would hold up. In reality Chamberlein knew Hitler was dangerous, and signed the Munich Agreement because he thought it was in Britain's best interest to delay a conflict as long as possible while rearming, and he hoped Hitler's domestic enemies might prevent him from starting a war. Also though Chamberlein didn't expect it, but there was a chance Hitler would stop pushing after Munich.

Rowling based Fudge on the mythic Chamberlein. As a result Fudge's behavior doesn't make sense. Rowling thinks Fudge ignoring Voldemort's return is realistic, because a historic politician did so in a similar circumstance. However the real politician did nothing of the sort. Fiction is stranger than truth (though physics is weirder than magic).

Rereading the scene with Fudge, Dumbledore and Harry at the end of GoF, a better interpretation comes to mind: Fudge acts like he works for Voldemort because he does. Malfoy bribed a blood supremicist minister to betray the ministry. Fudge expects to retire when it becomes clear Voldemort returned. Or he thinks it will never become clear. And his plan probably worked, I think Fudge survived the war and lived happily on Malfoy's money, which he left in large quantities to his grandchildren when he died at an extreme old age.

When analyzing characters, ignore what they say: What does their behavior do? Fudge's helps Voldemort. Therefore assume that is his intention.

The Camping Trip:

For several months Harry and Hermione are completely alone. And their relationship doesn't substantially change? I don't care how close you are. If two people spend three months alone their interactions will change. Any realistic portrayal of the camping trip after Ron left would have strong Harmony and anti R/Hr tendencies.

Interpreting Dumbledore:

What Dumbledore does to Harry is very wrong. It's also stupid. Nominally good Dumbledore stories have Dumbledore purely as an obstacle. An alternative approach would be to make Dumbledore's treatment of Harry actually the best way to defeat Voldemort. Then we have a tension between means and ends. Of course that is intrinsically dark, and fan fiction is about the happies.

A morality which views you as less culpable for deaths caused by inaction than deaths caused by action disgusts me.

Rowling is a Christian who presumably 'believes in' an afterlife. Further she probably has a model which reconciles evil and a benevolent God. Thus she doesn't see minimizing human suffering and your own casualties as important. If what matters is the soul, and this life is preparation for the next, Dumbledore's behavior is almost permissible. Right behavior depends on the nature of reality. If death is not permanent, but damnation is, your enemy's redemption matters more than your survival. Letting Voldemort kill muggles and muggleborns could be right if just one death eater is saved from damnation.

Canon!Dumbledore is a plot device. He leaves Harry on a doorstep with a note as his very first action-- any reasonable person would at least talk with the Dursleys. His final actions in his will forced Harry wander around cluelessly. Every major action is to set up a story, and non-functional.

Plot devices cannot be consistent characters. But in fan fiction we want Dumbledore to be a character. So we try to make sense of his nonsensical behavior.

How I think magic should work:

First, I like PerfectLionheart's idea that everything should have a loophole. In his story Horcruxes age, so Voldemort uses a ritual that sterilizes him in exchange for not aging. Of course that ritual doesn't protect him from someone killing him, like the horcrux does. Binding magical contracts have outs, so you construct layers of protections. And there is still an out if you are willing to pay the price.

Harry in canon:

Harry did not defeat Voldemort in canon. Harry's only skill based victories are the fight in the ministry, and the patronum in book 3. Book 1: he survives because he is toxic to Voldemort. Book 2: he survives because he gets lucky in a fight with a basilisk. And Fawkes. Book 4: he needs to be told how to beat the first task, for the second task Dobby gives him the gillyweed, and Moaning Myrtle tells him which direction the village is in. He survives Voldemort because 1) Voldie is one of the stupidest villains in literature and 2) the priori incantatum effect. Book 5, maybe it was mad skillz that let him survive the ministry fight, or maybe dumb luck. In book 6 he doesn't even do anything, he gets to watch while Dumbledore kills himself. Oh, and despite trying hard he fails to figure out what Malfoy is up to, and only gets Slughorn's memory with the help of a luck potion. Book 7, I've reread Dumbledore's explanation at King's Cross several times, and I still think it is incoherent. Rowling came up with four possible mechanisms for why Harry would survive, and then refused to choose, saying "this is really deep magic, nobody understands". Which frankly, sounds like Rowling decided to flip off the part of her audience that cares about how things work. Obviously Harry getting the Elder Wand from Draco was not part of Dumbledore's plan. In other words Dumbledore didn't have a plan to defeat Voldemort.

Have I mentioned I hate Dumbledore?

Harry didn't have the ability to defeat Voldemort. His victory is due to pure luck and deus ex machinas.

Fan fiction wants a Harry who can defeat Voldemort. So you need to give Harry a huge power up relative to canon. Power porn is still juvenile (though occasionally fun), but there needs to be some boost.

I read a story on Portkey which posits Harry is a really powerful wizard whose accidental magic is expresses itself by making Harry ridiculously lucky, as though he is always high on felix felicis when he needs to be. I doubt this fits with canon, but it is a causally coherent explanation for Harry's apparently implausible ability to survive situations he should die in.

Also read Larry Niven's Ringworld. One of my favorite books ever; it includes an alien species who got humanity to set up a lottery system to determine who could have children for the purpose of breeding luck. And it worked. Which is physically impossible, as all of the characters are constantly pointing out. Hence funny. It also includes adventures on a world with 3 million times the surface area of earth.

Power Porn:

This is my term for stories where with no causal explanation Harry is more powerful than half of wizarding Britain.

Note: the problem is not that Harry is 4 times as powerful as Merlin, the issue is the inexplicability of his power. Explain the power, and it isn't a problem. For example, in Hidden Hero Harry spends a large amount of time using his connection to be inside of Voldemort's head, and teaches himself essentially everything Voldemort knows; this combined with the advantage of surprise allows him to easily defeat Voldemort. The source of Harry's power wasn't arbitrary in the slightest.

Darth Marrs' Defense for Two has the premise that Harry, Dumbledore and Voldemort all being 'sports': wizards who are vastly more powerful than anyone else. The entire DoM policy is built around managing Harry as a sport, and shows how a rational world in which some wizards randomly were more powerful than everyone else might operate.

In the real world height, or speed, or intelligence are all normally distributed-- which means nobody is as smart as twenty regular people-- while wealth is exponentially distrubuted-- which means the richest person is a lot richer than most people. Power in stories is distributed like wealth, despite it being intrinsic to the person the way height is.

Story Ideas I want to play with:

Darkish time traveling Harry forces a soul bond on Voldemort as part of a resurrection ritual so he can control Voldemort as part of his fight against the pureblood establishment (Possibly Harry murders wormtail to make a horcrux of Voldemort).

Hermione/ Neville story: I just find something appealing about the idea of the brilliant girl, and a potential badass with a learning disability. I'd write Neville as having a disability which if properly dealt with wouldn't harm his potential, but of course the wizarding world doesn't keep up with advances in psychiatry.

Despite the implicit awfulness, a H/Hr next gen version of Hamlet. Hermione discovers Ginny has dosed Harry with love potions for decades. As a result Hermione kills Ginny, and shortly after marries Harry ('the funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables')-- I haven't specified yet precisely how it happens, and it matters. For example maybe Hermione kills Ginny because there are no wizard divorces, and she refuses to let Harry be trapped with someone who used love potions on him. Or Ginny tries to kill Hermione to prevent her from telling Harry, and Hermione wins the fight (so it is self defense). Or maybe something else.

Ginny's ghost will approach her and Harry's daughter Lily (I'm specifically inverting the genders in the play), and beg her to get revenge against Hermione.

The story will end tragically when Lily successfully kills Hermione, accidentally kills her father, and as a result of the magic she used dies herself.

Optional is having the Laertes/Ophelia subplot. Luna's son was in love with Lily, Lily accidentally kills Luna, after which Luna's son commits suicide, and Luna's daughter swears vengeance against Lily. Luna's daughter dies in the end scene along with Lily, Harry and Hermione.

Lines from Shakespeare that just beg to be used in a story:

But break my heart, for I must hold my tongue.

I think the line can inspire the emotion is say one of the Harry is in love with Hermione, but she is dating Ron, and he wishes he could tell her how he feels "But break my heart, for I must hold my tongue".

Nature tis fine in love and where tis fine
it sends some precious instance of itself
After the thing it loves

I read this and think of soul bonds. "Nature tis fine in love And where tis fine/ It sends some precious instance of itself/ After the thing it loves". It just hits me in the gut, is beautiful, and reminds me of why we love stories about love.

Ah keeper, keeper, I have done these things
(That now give evidence against my soul)
For Edward's Sake

This line inspired the story it gave the title to. I was watching the John Gielgud say these lines in Olivier's version of Richard III, where projects this feeling of regret about what he has done for his brother's sake, and it just made me think. H/Hr stories are all about friendship-- characters being extremely close, who are willing to do anything for each other. Yet in the stories they almost never do anything regrettable for each other. Their devotion is shown by being willing to die for each other, or by being willing to kill someone who deserves it, but would they kill someone who doesn't deserve it?

Remove the middle line and it becomes a beautiful expression of a more general, potentially happier, devotion "Ah keeper, keeper, I have done these things/ For Edward's sake". You could see a character like Jean Valjean in Les Miserables saying that after the end of the novel, or a Harry whose real reason for fighting Voldemort is Hermione. It captures Harry's attitude, when he walks into the forest in Deathly Hallows. Much as I hate the book as a whole-- the scene where Harry willingly walks to his death is deeply touching.

Miscellaneous:

I just recalled a tragic H/Hr one shot where Harry discovers the Weasley's had been love potioning him and Hermione, but because the affect of taking the potions over a long time were irreversible they committed suicide after killing the people they still loved. If they have love potions they have to have indifference potions. Falling in love is reversible. Its a switch in the brain that is fairly easy to throw in either direction.

Fanon!Alastor Moody is waaaaaay more badass than canon!Moody. I mean canon!Moody, both the polyjuiced one, and the real one, talk awesome, but-- fanon!Moody would never have let Barty Crouch Junior get the drop on him. Ever. I suppose canon!Moody was intended to show how even if you are very serious about paranoia, you still can make a mistake and lose. Fanon!Moody is essence of retired badass.

Alternative interpretation of the canon pairings: Harry was love potioned by Ginny-- and never finds out. Used occasionally for post epilogue H/Hr, chilling if you think of it as actual canon.

Great Quotes from Fan Fiction:

Angel's voice came over the line less than thirty seconds later.

"Dawn? What's wrong? Is Buffy-"

"She's falling in love!" Dawn exclaimed throwing her free hand in the air, still disgusted with that fact.

"Love?" Angel repeated tightly, then sighed and continued on trying to sound uncaring and failing miserably. "Dawn, isn't that a good thing? Why are you calling me about it?"

"You need to get your butt down here! Seeing your face will hopefully remind her what a disaster being in love is."

"Thanks, Dawn…" Living Conditions by sweetchi

""Why does everyone compare everything to defeating Voldemort?" asked Harry, pulling at his black hair. " Does that become the new bar for whatever I do? Surely if I defeated Lord Voldemort I can do such-and-such? I defeated Voldemort so surely I can give an interview for the Daily Prophet? I defeated the Dark Lord so surely I can handle this raid on those Death Eaters in Canada. I defeated You-Know-Who so surely I can learn to ski. I defeated Voldemort so I can—," Harry started counting on his fingers at this point, "—raise the dead, save cats from getting caught in trees, pay for a round of drinks, learn Chinese, and face the wrath of one Molly Weasley." Ron smirked at the last one." Magic and Misperceptions by addisonj

"As they waited they allowed Ginny to continue to rant and rave about how she was going to have pretty clothes and fancy robes, and how she didn't care if she had to 'dose' Harry to do so. She even said "Daddy's been being dosed for years, it hasn't hurt him."

All four brothers looked at each other. They all shared one thought. Did she just say what I thought she said?" Death's Design, Fate's Plan

"Harry, if muggles knew about us, they would come to us for magical solutions for everything, from love potions to cures for diseases."

"If they want a cure for diseases, then you should give it to them, sir." Harry said, unmoved by the argument. "Having a cure, but withholding it, is murder by complacency." Draconus Book One: The Sorceror's Stone, by fullsailnate

" Even if Gilderoy hadn't been planning on shamelessly taking advantage of Harry's fame, if he had found out about Dumbledore's plans for the boy he would have had to have rescued him out of sheer altruism." When in Doubt, Obliviate by Sarah1281

Thoughts on Naruto fan fiction:

I started to read Naruto fics because top HP writers, notably PerfectLionheart (of Partially Kissed Hero) and the writer of Nightmares of Futures Past had written two of the high review Naruto stories. I don't think the viciousness of HP character bashing translates well to Naruto-- I've never found a reason to question the distaste for Dumbledore and Ron I got from fan fic. Chuunin Exam Day, many of the other NaruHina stories I read early on strongly bashed Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke.

In reality they are awesome characters. And 12 year old Sakura is a shallow because she is twelve. Get over it. The experience of realizing characters I disliked were awesome was cool though.

Sasuke's 'betrayal' of Konoha was in a real sense the right thing for him to do. His primary personal goal was revenge against Itachi. Not loyalty to the location he happened to be born in. He sacrificed a secondary goal for a primary goal. Of course trusting Orochimaru is retarded, but that's a different issue.

Itachi and Danzo: I've not read the actual manga, or seen the shippuden episodes relevant to this, but it seems likely Itachi was partially programmed by Danzo and Root, and that is where the complete focus on protecting Konoha comes from.

Sarutobi: He isn't treated like Dumbledore, but it is more his fault that Naruto's childhood sucked than it is Dumbledore's. Also, it makes a lot of sense that Naruto was raised to be fanatically loyal to the Sandaime and his faction in village politics. Of course probably the reason we like Sarutobi more than Dumbledore is that Sarutobi was a reasonably successful leader; Dumbledore, of course, is a horrible failure.

Inuyasha fan fiction:

First, the show is waaaaay better than the fan fic. It is really, really good.

Most of the stories I read are Sesshoumaru/Kagome; I get why the pairing is popular. Sesshoumaru is the coolest character in the setting, and he has all of those becoming more compassionate things going on. However, there is something wrong when in half of the stories the author feels a need for Kagome to comment on how OOC Sesshoumaru is acting.

Also Sess/Kag is an example of a pairing which works well in fan fiction (we like Kagome, we like Sesshoumaru, wouldn't it be awesome to stick them together?) but would be retarded in canon. The romance sub plot in the show is built around the defects in Inuyasha and Kagome interacting in a cute way.

This is part of a subgenre of human/powerful nonhuman stories. They are popular, and have been since storytellers started telling stories. However, the story needs a cheat to it to avoid being intrinsically tragic. You cannot have a fluffy story which involves A) the human and the immortal falling in love, knowing the human will die long before the immortal does, or B) the immortal taking on a human lifespan to age with the human.

The way to make these stories happy is to allow the human to become immortal. Which is cheap. Which is why Tolkein didn't do it.

Thoughts on Twilight Fan Fiction:

Positive things: Manic-depressive stalker who hates himself or not, Edward is a distinct character. There is an Edward thing to say or do. This alone makes Twilight better than most fan fiction. In Harry Potter fan fiction for example, Hermione rarely does Hermione-ish things, though she does act out the behavioral tags fandom has attached to her. In canon she has behavioral patterns that simply don't occur in fanfiction. For example, the way Hermione tries to find out what object Malfoy was looking at in Borgin and Burkes. Her plan was retarded, but also adorably Hermione-ish. It was the same behavioral pattern which she used when tortured by Bellatrix and when she stopped Umbridge from torturing Harry. Talk fast, and make it up as you go. Fan fiction characterization normally is a undifferentiated goo level where people are tagged as having particular traits, but don't express them otherwise.

Meyer has her characters always stay at the infatuation stage of love because that is how vampire physiology works. She was smart enough to know this concept couldn't work with physiologically normal humans. In playing around with ideas relating to H/Hr the idea of claiming magic changes how love works has a strong appeal to me.

Why I don't like Volturi stories:

A) They can be part of a good story, and if they are what you are looking for, have fun.

B) Bella is not Peter Petrelli. And Peter Petrelli's power was the worst part of Heroes. This also goes more generally for giving Bella a power which allows her to, alone, destroy or intimidate all of the Volturi.

C) I generally don't like stories where they become the deus ex machina which, after chapters of 'I don't want to change her' Edward angst, creates the situation where Bella is changed. More generally I don't like it when Bella is changed after Edward angst because Jacob nearly kills her, or because she was horribly injured otherwise. If Edward refusing to change her is a significant part of the story, then you should make the relationship dynamic such that Edward comes to terms with her being changed before it happens.

D) Changing someone into a creature which can rip a sky scraper down with his bare hands, because you are worried about this person revealing to the world there are creatures which can tear sky scrapers down is really stupid. *Really* stupid. More generally a rational Volturi will treat telling humans the same way it treats creating newborns. They are your responsibility. Seriously, the Volturi should be more worried about pictures taken of the Cullens than about the Cullens telling Bella. The pictures, will eventually become hard evidence something weird is going on. Bella is just a crazy person.

Why the treaty with the werewolves is not significant:

Wars are never about treaties being made or broken. They are always about the balance of power, and underlying interests. To the extent that the author actually thinks through the logic of decision making this is as true in a fictional world as in the real world.

Very simply put the relationship between the pack and the Cullens was never about the formal treaty. Even Meyer, partially realized this. For example in Breaking Dawn Sam decided not to attack when he believed Bella had been turned, which violated the treaty, while he decided to attack when he discovered Bella was pregnant, which did not violate the treaty. In the Midnight Sun draft when Bella tells Edward how she discovered he was a vampire he muses that he now had a right to slaughter the defenseless inhabitants of the reservation. The point being that it was not a serious intention despite the treaty being broken.

In the 1930s A) the Cullens were considerably more powerful than the pack, B) the Cullens had no desire to kill the werewolves, and C) the Cullens were not hunting members either of the Quileute tribe, or the surrounding population. A) means the wolves did not want to fight because they would probably lose and be unable to defend the tribe, not to mention the whole dying thing, C) means that they did not need to fight the Cullens to protect the tribe. Hence no fight. The treaty simply formalized the reality of A,B, and C.

Carlisle agreed in the treaty that they were not to bite anyone, but when he made that agreement he was not thinking of it as a binding constraint on his behavior. I think after Rosalie and Emmett he now had no intention of changing more people, and anyways if there was a reason to would do what actually ended up happening, and view the opinion of the werewolves as irrelevant. The treaty was about establishing a modus vivendi in the Forks area, about staying out of La Push, and telling the werewolves, "we are going to do what we were going to do anyways- not kill people- so don't worry".

By the end of Eclipse the relationship is different, primarily because the power imbalance is much smaller. The Cullens are still considerably more powerful and would probably win a fight, at least if they were prepared, but the wolves now have a reasonable chance. However werewolves are much easier to permanently kill than vampires. To kill a vampire permanently you need to control the corpse for a period of time, to kill a werewolf you just need the corpse. Hence even if the werewolves won a fight with the Cullens they would lose people. And they still probably wouldn't win.

So look at the situation after Bella has been bitten and changed. The Cullens have violated the treaty, the specific terms of the treaty after all are "you will not bite anyone". So the wolves have a causus belli. And of course this is a point where they have a decision to make. "Are we, because Bella desperately wanted to become a vampire so she could permanently be with Edward, and finally, after quite a bit of effort, talked him into it, going to try to kill Bella? And of course the rest of the Cullens. And also in the process of trying to kill Bella for this choice create a situation where probably all of us will die, hence leaving the tribe defenseless if the Cullens decide to get revenge (which they won't of course because they aren't like that) or if another group of vampires come through the area (and another group might), and even if we don't all die, some of us will. Or are we going to just let it go, and repeatedly tell them we are very unhappy with them?"

The point of the pack after all is to protect humans, they will only risk fighting the Cullens if the Cullens are a threat to humans, and clearly Bella being changed doesn't make them a bigger threat to people.

There was a line in Breaking Dawn which expressed the idea that what made the difference about whether it would mean war when Bella was changed was the cooperation during Eclipse. That is not the case, the pack never would have started a war over this, because Sam is too smart and too responsible to do that.

I'm right now looking through my favorite stories links, and basically all of you should read a few of NoMoreThanUsual 's stories. They are all short humorous and sweet one shots or multishots. They won't take up much of your time, but they are really good. First Impressions is probably my favorite though.

This is a story which so far is looking very good, and only has a few chapters up so far. Anyways read it, and if you like leave a review. A Perpetual State of Misfortune

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Odd Ideas by Rorschach's Blot reviews
Odd little one shots that may or may not be turned into their own stories.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 157 - Words: 708,527 - Reviews: 9259 - Favs: 3,734 - Follows: 2,849 - Updated: 5/15 - Published: 9/4/2005
Unfathomable by PemberfieldandNetherley reviews
Mr. Charles Bingley, lately of London, moves to Hertfordshire where he makes the acquaintance of the bewitching Miss Bennet. Miss Elizabeth Bennet, that is, as her elder sister Jane is spending the season in Town. To what lengths will Bingley's sister and friend go to separate the young lovers and how many lives will be irrevocably altered because it? (Darcy/Elizabeth HEA)
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 103,604 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 619 - Updated: 5/6 - Published: 12/2/2013
Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus by The Carnivorous Muffin reviews
Lily is not quite a normal little girl. The Dursleys always say she's a freak just like her freakish parents, her uncle Death seems to be convinced she's the grim reaper, and her ever political and invisible best friend Wizard Lenin just thinks she should take over the world. On top of all that the secret society of wizards think she's Jesus. AU female!Harry among other things.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 28 - Words: 166,248 - Reviews: 1973 - Favs: 2,808 - Follows: 2,926 - Updated: 5/2 - Published: 12/8/2013 - [Harry P., Tom R. Jr.]
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 30065 - Favs: 16,314 - Follows: 14,431 - Updated: 3/14 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Why Kakashi Should Never Read Out Loud by lord of the land of fire reviews
What would happen if Kakashi started reading out loud passages from his favorite book? The idea for this just occurred to me and I wrote it up. Very light hearted please don't take it too seriously!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 35,797 - Reviews: 3265 - Favs: 2,566 - Follows: 1,402 - Updated: 10/30/2014 - Published: 10/26/2007 - Kakashi H. - Complete
Do Over by Kyogre reviews
Naruto and Kurama accidentally end up in the past, on the day of Naruto's birth, and are forced to live their lives all over again. They make the best of it, to everyone else's extreme confusion. (Alive Minato and Kushina, humor.)
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,823 - Reviews: 978 - Favs: 4,096 - Follows: 2,323 - Updated: 10/7/2014 - Published: 8/27/2014 - Naruto U., Minato N., Kyuubi/Kurama, Kushina U. - Complete
Something Like Your Family by Luan Mao reviews
The Dursleys weren't exactly a model family
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,618 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 1,198 - Follows: 472 - Updated: 9/25/2014 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Witch Queen by TimeLoopedPowerGamer reviews
After a long war, Voldemort still remains undefeated and Hermione Granger has fallen to Darkness. But despite having gained great power in exchange for a bargain with the hidden Fae, she is still unable to kill the immortal Dark Lord. As a last resort, she sends Harry back in time twenty years to when he was eleven, using a dark ritual with a terrible sacrifice. Canon compliant AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 150,495 - Reviews: 384 - Favs: 701 - Follows: 1,050 - Updated: 9/19/2014 - Published: 12/23/2012 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] Luna L.
Fragmented Ideas by Chilord reviews
A variety incompleted story starts that will not likely be finished.
X-overs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 60 - Words: 301,056 - Reviews: 1226 - Favs: 739 - Follows: 535 - Updated: 8/19/2014 - Published: 6/6/2009 - Complete
Vapors by ElectraSev5n reviews
This ninja business? It isn't for the faint of heart. Luckily Aiko is far from faint, even if she did get stuck with a ridiculously girly name. SI, OC, whatever you want to call it. Rating is for language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 103 - Words: 670,658 - Reviews: 4343 - Favs: 2,233 - Follows: 1,487 - Updated: 7/20/2014 - Published: 11/17/2013 - Kakashi H., OC - Complete
Sparks Fly, Tires Skid by orchidvines reviews
Elizabeth and Darcy meet at the scene of a car crash. They do not politely exchange insurance information. Modern AU. Completed.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 86,583 - Reviews: 1557 - Favs: 1,795 - Follows: 971 - Updated: 5/20/2014 - Published: 11/16/2010 - Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy - Complete
A Princess' Plan by Neonlights reviews
Rewrite. Serena realises early on who she truly is, and what her destiny is. She gathers the scouts to her without telling them who she is. This time, she will make sure things are different. She WILL defeat the darkness. She WIll save her friends. au S/D AN: IM NOT DEAD!
Sailor Moon - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 159,833 - Reviews: 861 - Favs: 852 - Follows: 988 - Updated: 5/18/2014 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Usagi T./Serena/Bunny/Sailor Moon, Mamoru C./Darien S./Tuxedo Kamen
The Harmony Bond by brigrove reviews
AU - Harry is rescued from the Dursleys by the Grangers, but they first time they touch, both Harry and Hermione collapse unconscious. A Harry Hermione soul bond fic - will be romance LATER.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 85 - Words: 267,836 - Reviews: 5772 - Favs: 3,498 - Follows: 3,846 - Updated: 5/5/2014 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Hermione G., Harry P.
No Need for Halkeginian Logic by Midnakdak reviews
Whether heroic or villainous, the Dragonborn we all play is a guy who steals when he can get away with it, helps out daedric lords of domination just cause, robs the tombs of the honored dead, and then proceeds to play tag with children and help out his local temple of the goddess of love. This is the story of one such insane individual summoned by Louise Valliere. Crack fic.
Crossover - Elder Scroll series & Familiar of Zero - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 31,045 - Reviews: 549 - Favs: 1,459 - Follows: 1,300 - Updated: 4/27/2014 - Published: 2/8/2014
Wait, What? by Publicola reviews
Points of divergence in the Harry Potter universe. Those moments where someone really ought to have taken a step back and asked, "Wait, what?" An ongoing collection of one-shots. Episode 16: Why I Like You.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 31,551 - Reviews: 1038 - Favs: 1,322 - Follows: 1,370 - Updated: 4/6/2014 - Published: 7/9/2012 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Albus D.
Paid in Full by Raj Sound reviews
Elizabeth smiled, her first real smile in as long as she could remember. The Lutece were right. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, even in death. DeWitts always pay their debts. One-shot, reviews are greatly appreciated.
BioShock - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,677 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/29/2014 - Elizabeth - Complete
Ice and Darkness by Racke reviews
A screwed up spell sends Eva into the middle of Kyuubi's sealing process. She spends the next decade kicking the annoying little thing around their cage for shits and giggles. Then Naruto makes a friend, and suddenly Team 7 causes a bit more chaos than they really ought to. Crack (Now with extra Omake)
Crossover - Naruto & Negima! Magister Negi Magi/魔法先生ネギま! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 30,309 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 1,239 - Follows: 582 - Updated: 12/30/2013 - Published: 8/6/2013 - Naruto U., Evangeline A.K. M. - Complete
Victory at Ostagar by Arsinoe de Blassenville reviews
When Bryce Cousland's little spitfire scaled the Tower of Ishal and lit the beacon at the critical moment, King Cailan won a mighty victory against the darkspawn. The Blight, however was far from over. All other origins included, plus Hawke and his companions. Cousland/Loghain, Morrigan/Anders, Surana/Zevran, Fergus/Anora, and more. Half a million hits and still going.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 128 - Words: 1,173,590 - Reviews: 5083 - Favs: 1,193 - Follows: 836 - Updated: 11/30/2013 - Published: 3/18/2010 - Cousland - Complete
Death's Pride by Paladeus reviews
Harry dies, again, and his Death Angel is NOT happy. Sent back for the last time with his memories intact, he tries to do it right. And his Death Angel won't leave him or his soul mates alone. Challenge by Reptilia28; H/Hr/L Nev/Sus B/Han A
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 630,526 - Reviews: 3133 - Favs: 5,163 - Follows: 5,864 - Updated: 11/27/2013 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L.
Oops by michaelsuave reviews
Go back to the beginning, that was the plan. Stop Voldemort on the cusp of becoming a dark lord, stop him before he created his first horcrux and change history before it could be written. That was the plan, only Harry made a mistake.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 35,183 - Reviews: 647 - Favs: 1,452 - Follows: 1,636 - Updated: 8/28/2013 - Published: 1/25/2012 - Harry P.
A Valiant Effort by Sarah1281 reviews
Valjean overcame some truly incredible odds to arrive at Arras in time to exonerate Champmathieu but sometimes people would rather just accept a convenient fiction instead of an awkward reality. Well, he tried. AU.
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 75,113 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 8/1/2013 - Published: 12/26/2012 - Valjean, Javert, Cosette, Bamatabois - Complete
Reunion by Rorschach's Blot reviews
It all starts with Hogwarts' Class Reunion.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 61,134 - Reviews: 1691 - Favs: 3,870 - Follows: 3,112 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 11/14/2008 - Complete
5 Hokages by Lucillia reviews
After the first four Hokages are mysteriously returned to life, Konoha has to deal with the fact that they now have five Hokages, amongst other things. AU in which a perpetually drunk Madara lives long enough to do his own dirty work in the lead-up to the 4th Shinobi World War and Hashirama and Tobirama's personalities got swapped.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,093 - Reviews: 620 - Favs: 1,819 - Follows: 1,795 - Updated: 2/16/2013 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Hashirama S., Tsunade S., Madara U., Naruto U.
The Wizard Ashikabi by plums reviews
Harry, forced into exile to save his heritage from thieves, begins traveling the world. While in Japan, Harry happens upon an intimidating woman dressed in black, and gets thrown into a plot he could have never seen coming. Harry / Multi
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sekirei - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 127,597 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 2,374 - Follows: 2,397 - Updated: 1/5/2013 - Published: 2/27/2012 - [Harry P., No. 04/Karasuba, No. 106/Haihane]
Nerve Damage by CrossyCross reviews
Shirou converts his nerves into makeshift magic circuits everytime he needs to use magic. A human body has millions of nerves. A magus has on average twenty circuits...maybe he's on to something there...
Fate/stay night - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 84,601 - Reviews: 1289 - Favs: 2,087 - Follows: 1,903 - Updated: 12/22/2012 - Published: 9/18/2012 - Shirō E.
Daniel's Daughter by Rude's Mom reviews
SG-1's Dr. Jackson has a daughter. She's short, blonde, and a vampire slayer. Too bad nobody told him.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 43 - Words: 54,940 - Reviews: 1448 - Favs: 1,197 - Follows: 1,528 - Updated: 12/11/2012 - Published: 2/2/2005 - Buffy S., D. Jackson
What Everyone Else Saw, and What They Didn't by namedawesome reviews
A compilation of moments that the Harry Potter characters have seen. These aren't just any moments, they're moments of love between Harry and Hermione. The thing is, they haven't noticed what everyone else has. Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 40,377 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 290 - Updated: 12/9/2012 - Published: 9/11/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Chain Reaction: A Collision of Interests by Soup Fish reviews
The TSAB finds and collects the Holy Grail taking it to be a Lost Logia, in response the Grail summons the servants to take it back from Mid-Childa by force. The servants inevitably find themselves facing Nanoha and her friends.
Crossover - Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha & Fate/stay night - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 231,799 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 11/21/2012 - Published: 10/16/2010 - Complete
Trust Is A Relative Thing by Silverfawkes reviews
What if Petunia put the blame where it belonged instead of on Harry? OOC Petunia Dursley Rating for mild language
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 51 - Words: 219,068 - Reviews: 5353 - Favs: 5,496 - Follows: 6,249 - Updated: 10/16/2012 - Published: 12/31/2010 - Harry P.
Ananke by Eunike reviews
A strange set of events sends the 19-year-old Lily into a terrible future where she and most of her friends are dead and the war is still on. Severus can't believe his luck. Can Lily change her fate? S/L
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 138,526 - Reviews: 1125 - Favs: 720 - Follows: 828 - Updated: 9/22/2012 - Published: 7/16/2008 - Lily Evans P., Severus S.
My Nephew Harry by Lucillia reviews
During the two months she had watched her eight year-old nephews, Marge Dursley discovered that Petunia was a pathological liar, Vernon had somehow been brainwashed by that no good b***h, Dudley was the spawn of Satan, and Harry was actually a good kid.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 21,044 - Reviews: 1000 - Favs: 2,791 - Follows: 2,579 - Updated: 8/25/2012 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Marge D., Harry P. - Complete
When In Doubt, Obliviate by Sarah1281 reviews
When a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 114,644 - Reviews: 2388 - Favs: 2,162 - Follows: 1,605 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 1/8/2011 - Harry P., Gilderoy L. - Complete
Tempest by cywsaphyre reviews
Back in time and armed with years of future knowledge, Sakura is ready to take the world by storm. Except... she's four again, not twelve. Ah well, nobody said she couldn't start a little early. Gen, time travel, AU, Sakuracentric.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 47,575 - Reviews: 1506 - Favs: 3,657 - Follows: 3,889 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Sakura H.
When It Rains by everymonday reviews
It rains and it pours and he can think of nothing but Lizzy Bennet and the handprint she left on his heart. A story about loss, love, rain, and how the three changed William Darcy.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 97,475 - Reviews: 903 - Favs: 472 - Follows: 687 - Updated: 7/4/2012 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth
Team Zero by Cataquack Warrior reviews
Familiar of Zero/Pokémon crossover. Team Rocket has always wanted to serve a Boss that truly cared for them. Louise Valliere has always wanted to prove that she is not a failure as a mage. Together, the new Team Zero will find the strength to achieve their dreams- so run for cover!
Crossover - Pokémon & Familiar of Zero - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 82,881 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 10/1/2011 - Meowth/Nyarth, Jessie/Musashi, James/Kojirō, Louise
A Different Halloween by robst reviews
Could a chance meeting change history? What would a different Halloween in 1981 mean for wizarding Britain?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 124,549 - Reviews: 3881 - Favs: 5,992 - Follows: 3,891 - Updated: 5/26/2012 - Published: 10/31/2010 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
The Keening Blade by Arsinoe de Blassenville reviews
She hesitated-"Mostly, I couldn't kill you, knowing that I cheated. At the Landsmeet. Our duel." There was a heavy silence. Loghain said slowly, "You do realize that I am holding a naked sword at this very moment?" M for sound reasons.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 50 - Words: 427,041 - Reviews: 1492 - Favs: 623 - Follows: 515 - Updated: 5/20/2012 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Cousland, Loghain M. T.
Youthful Ninja from the Future by Mystic 777 reviews
Beware the wrath of a budding seal master. Sometimes revenge is best served with a side of Youth. AU from Tsunade retrieval and VotE.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,113 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 971 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 3/20/2012 - Published: 3/2/2012 - Naruto U. - Complete
All That Is Left by OrangeShipper reviews
A hasty decision leads to consequences that will change their lives. AU S2 - how it should have been! EPILOGUE NOW UP: All good things...
Downton Abbey - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 152,830 - Reviews: 641 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 263 - Updated: 3/11/2012 - Published: 8/29/2011 - Mary C., Matthew C. - Complete
Et Cetera by Chibi-Reaper reviews
A place for me to put ideas that may or may not make it to full story status. If you can call some of the things I'm working on 'Full Stories', anyway. And one-shots now, too.
X-overs - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 50 - Words: 86,784 - Reviews: 833 - Favs: 307 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 1/20/2012 - Published: 12/5/2008
Yet Again by Silverfawkes reviews
Sequel to Yet Another Universe. Harry is Pulled to another Universe where almost everything is changed. Can he adapt quickly enough to survive? Will he finally find a place to call home? Warnings posted in Author notes chapter 1
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 33,538 - Reviews: 730 - Favs: 1,754 - Follows: 2,320 - Updated: 1/10/2012 - Published: 6/13/2011
The Vampire in the Basement by michellephants reviews
While hunting one afternoon, the boys stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 164,189 - Reviews: 11472 - Favs: 9,028 - Follows: 6,578 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Scorpion's Disciple by nobody102 reviews
AU. Orochimaru's resignation from Akatsuki is more intense than in canon, resulting in a meeting between young Naruto and Sasori… Slow buildup. Last chapter is a summary, technically not complete.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 149,612 - Reviews: 2249 - Favs: 4,603 - Follows: 3,271 - Updated: 10/17/2011 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Worst Muggles Imaginable by Ephemeral3501 reviews
The Dursleys truly are the worst muggles imaginable.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Cthulhu Mythos - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,995 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 496 - Follows: 515 - Updated: 10/2/2011 - Published: 9/10/2011 - Harry P.
The Reluctant Hokage by Aishuu reviews
A series of ficlets which explores what life might have been had Sandaime come to an obvious solution for the Uchiha problem.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,563 - Reviews: 507 - Favs: 1,025 - Follows: 989 - Updated: 9/26/2011 - Published: 3/16/2010 - Itachi U.
Alive like Me by Stellata reviews
When her soul is flung from her body by a misspoken curse, she is forced to take up residence in a new body. Well, this life couldn't be any harder than her last... right? Wrong. Welcome to the life of Hermione Granger. Reworking of Hogwarts years.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 29,876 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 365 - Updated: 9/15/2011 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Hermione G., Neville L., Harry P., Susan B.
No Hurry At All by robst reviews
Remus was so shocked at seeing Sirius fall through the veil that Harry had raced past him before the boy's intentions even registered with the werewolf. Screaming "Sirius!" Harry followed his godfather into the veil before anyone could stop him. H/Hr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 126,691 - Reviews: 3664 - Favs: 6,196 - Follows: 3,471 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 2/18/2011 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Force sensitive by LunaStorm reviews
At age eight, Harry Potter had an epiphany. He realized, with the utter certainty that only an eight years old can have, that he was a Jedi.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,655 - Reviews: 513 - Favs: 1,682 - Follows: 459 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Time Braid by ShaperV reviews
Sakura thought she was a capable kunoichi until she died in the Chuunin Exam. Now she's stuck in a loop, dying again and again while she struggles to understand her strange predicament. How hard can it be to pass one stupid test? Sakura/Naruto/Hinata
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 203,939 - Reviews: 3152 - Favs: 4,514 - Follows: 2,344 - Updated: 5/20/2011 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Sakura H. - Complete
Monster from my Nightmares by ridingondreams reviews
Bella was kidnapped by James & Laurent. Once she escapes, she switches to a school near Forks to protect her family. There she meets 7 more vampires: the Cullens. What will Edward think of Bella's fear? What will Bella think of Edward's interest in her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 71,565 - Reviews: 391 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 403 - Updated: 5/13/2011 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Bella, Edward
Tête à tête With Tom by knuckz reviews
It's easy to cheat on tests when you have a very knowledgeable Dark Lord only a mind's connection away. Oneshot. Winner of the DLP April Humor Competition!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,064 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 811 - Follows: 172 - Published: 5/8/2011 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Dark Lord's Equal by Lens of Sanity reviews
Years after the Epilogue things look bleak; Harry Potter agrees to go back to the Ministry Battle to change history for the better. Premise; "canon makes sense" though not in the way you think. Fight scenes, humour, romance, magic, and insanity. FINISHED
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 58,281 - Reviews: 438 - Favs: 1,191 - Follows: 435 - Updated: 4/16/2011 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Fuzzy Logic by Deritine reviews
AU time travel: The kyuubi no kitsune knew something was wrong, but couldn't put a paw on quite what. However, there are benefits to being a force of nature, including time itself bending to accommodate you. Edited version on AO3!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 161,393 - Reviews: 1885 - Favs: 2,791 - Follows: 1,641 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
Who’s Afraid of the Dentists’ Daughter? by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel reviews
Muggleborn Hermione Granger is sorted into Slytherin, but after a nasty prank goes wrong and gives her red eyes, her classmates become convinced that she’s the Dark Lord’s heir.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,620 - Reviews: 528 - Favs: 1,466 - Follows: 1,770 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 2/22/2010 - Hermione G.
Empress in the shadows by voider reviews
The story of a Goa’uld who lacked the insanity of her race, her rise to power and the birth of an empire.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 88,805 - Reviews: 1279 - Favs: 1,248 - Follows: 1,148 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 11/26/2008
Road Trip by Clell65619 reviews
After the fall of Voldemort Harry feels that he needs to get away, away from the pressures of being the Man Who Won. Hermione invites herself along for the ride, but things aren't always what they seem. Fighting a war has it's price.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22,516 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 428 - Follows: 109 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
In this World and the Next by robst reviews
Not for Weasley fans, dark beginning and rating is for safety. A Re-do with payback on the menu H/Hr Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 164,711 - Reviews: 4566 - Favs: 7,098 - Follows: 3,394 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 12/31/2009 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Dudley's Memories by paganaidd reviews
Minerva needs help delivering another letter to #4 Privet Drive. At forty, Dudley is not at all what Harry expects. A long overdue conversation ensues. DH cannon compliant, but probably not the way you think. Prologue to "Snape's Memories".
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,218 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 1,388 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 9/16/2010 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Harry P., Dudley D. - Complete
Unsung Hero by MeghanReviews reviews
COMPLETED Harry Potter enters his 7th year at Hogwarts ignored and friendless because his brother Daniel is the Boy Who Lived. *** Badass Horcruxes. *** Read the author note on profile before you start. Thanks!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 211,878 - Reviews: 7001 - Favs: 7,188 - Follows: 4,152 - Updated: 9/5/2010 - Published: 4/18/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Obliviate is Never Enough by joshlamont reviews
Hermione, prepping for her world-wide horcrux-killing tour with Harry, must first obliviate her parents' memories to keep them safe. Unfortunately, depending on your point of view it doesn't quite go as she'd planned...
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,060 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 30 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Hermione G. - Complete
Best Mates by chem prof reviews
A humorous one-shot in which Hermione challenges Ron as to which one of them is truly Harry's Best Mate.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,656 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 2,437 - Follows: 401 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Time is the Fire by Oddment Tweak reviews
What would you do if the only way to save the person you loved was to sacrifice everything else that you held dear? DH-Epilogue compliant, sort of. Some HP/GW and RW/Hr, but ultimately, epically, HP/Hr.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 97,317 - Reviews: 429 - Favs: 819 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 7/7/2010 - Published: 6/7/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Wizards are stupid by Lineape reviews
A series of one-shots, two-shots, and drabbles chronicling the stupidity of the Wizarding World and all its inhabitants. Some are funny, others not so much. Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Trace.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 32,438 - Reviews: 649 - Favs: 734 - Follows: 571 - Updated: 7/7/2010 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Harry P.
Original As Far As Innocence Goes by Zwei Shonagon reviews
17-year-old Uchiha Itachi was not pleased or impressed when he viewed his 12-year old fiancee in the form of one Hyuuga Hinata. But fate seemed determined to have a different agenda, especially when Uchiha Itachi somehow becomes the instructor of Team 8.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 71,282 - Reviews: 1165 - Favs: 622 - Follows: 408 - Updated: 6/29/2010 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Itachi U., Hinata H. - Complete
No Intentions by Twilightholic-Tanya reviews
A cold night and a lonely walk home. Tempting aroma and painful thirst. A foolish girl and a hungry predator. Love blooms and danger takes it's toll.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,130 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 6/24/2010 - Published: 10/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Thief of Hogwarts by bluminous8 reviews
Summary: AU Young Harry learns to steal as he is fed up from his deprivation of his wants and needs by his guardians. A Thief is born in Privet Drive.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 105,046 - Reviews: 3591 - Favs: 7,472 - Follows: 7,224 - Updated: 6/22/2010 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Harry P.
Hear No Evil by BlueSea14 reviews
After over a hundred years alone, a deaf vampire Bella finds the Cullen family. With no memory of her human past, and no way to communicate with the world, how can they help her? Canon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 97,077 - Reviews: 1586 - Favs: 2,304 - Follows: 836 - Updated: 4/9/2010 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fate's Chosen by Luan Mao reviews
Harry dies and wakes up in Fate's office. You've heard it before, right? You're expecting a re-do fic, right?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,148 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 462 - Follows: 129 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Life After by EllaRose00 reviews
Summary: Carlisle created her. She is as beautiful as she as dangerous. “I don’t care what, who or where you came from Bella,” Edward said as he walked closer to me. “I just know that I need you in my life… you belong to me.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,048 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 3/5/2010 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Edward, Bella
Three Wizards by poufellyanah reviews
Young Albus Dumbledore, in desperate need of a proper friend, devises a spell to bring powerful wizards to him—only, he just might have been a tad overzealous. Result: the temporal displacement of Harry Potter and Tom Riddle to the year 1912.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,501 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 669 - Follows: 846 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 10/23/2009 - Albus D., Harry P.
The Beast Master by wsbenge reviews
Power Dark Lord knows not. Something unique to Harry saved him from an attack by the worst wizard tyrant in centuries. Albus put traumatized boy in a picnic basket, and left him on Aunt's doorstep in the dead of night, note attached, of course. Riiight.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 78,469 - Reviews: 737 - Favs: 1,986 - Follows: 2,248 - Updated: 2/9/2010 - Published: 9/12/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Silence, the Loudest Sound by reincarnatedcrazybutterfly reviews
Edward met Bella in Central Park during fall. Intrigued, he kept striking a conversation with Bella but Bella remained silent. It didn’t mean though that she wasn’t able to answer all of his questions. What Edward didn’t know is that Bella can’t speak.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 97,060 - Reviews: 975 - Favs: 1,215 - Follows: 469 - Updated: 2/4/2010 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
In the Blink of an Eye by thatwritr reviews
New Moon AU. Bella went cliff diving but it didn't turn out well. She broke her back. A decade later, Edward reappears in her life on the same night she loses her best friend and husband to a freak accident. She's not thrilled to see him. Eventual E/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 69 - Words: 240,697 - Reviews: 6049 - Favs: 2,832 - Follows: 1,425 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 8/26/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Many Thanks by Madm05 reviews
James Potter would never forget the first time he met Hermione Granger. Nor would he forget just how much he owed her for all she had done for him, his family, his world, and his future. HHr, through the evolving eyes of James Potter. HHr/JPLE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 25,101 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 1,937 - Follows: 436 - Updated: 12/24/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 reviews
So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 162,639 - Reviews: 10296 - Favs: 12,592 - Follows: 5,167 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
The Agony and the Ecstasy by vanilfrappe reviews
Bella's soul has been divided into two halves, each one belonging to another man. She can't even hope to find peace--until she runs into a palm reading vampire at a traveling carnival. Will she embrace the future he tells her lies in store? Edward X Bella
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,249 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Lord Ranma by Chibi-Reaper reviews
Ranma the General, anyone? Now a multicross, because I have no self-restraint to speak of.
Crossover - Sailor Moon & Ranma - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 36,895 - Reviews: 600 - Favs: 877 - Follows: 847 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 1/25/2009
Discovery by Aspiring Empath reviews
Alice never had the vision. The Cullens never returned. Meet Becca. She's determined to uncover the secret of her grandma's journal, even if it meets looking for trouble. Nominated for Twilight & Indie Twific Awards! Most Orignal Plot, Best AU, Best OC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 43,600 - Reviews: 525 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 11/18/2009 - Published: 4/21/2007
Type O Negative by quothme reviews
When the Cullens move to Forks, Bella thinks that the creepy new kid, Edward, has freaky yellow eyes. And that he's insufferably rude. Good thing he's in love with someone else. An AU dark comedy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 54,164 - Reviews: 1287 - Favs: 1,649 - Follows: 449 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Seal Shatter by Quill of Molliemon reviews
AU/AR, mid-Chuunin Exams on. Orochimaru fails to seal the Kyuubi's chakra in the Forest of Death. Naruto interferes with Sasuke's curse mark. And what's wrong with the Hokage? Read and review, please!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 36 - Words: 125,834 - Reviews: 2124 - Favs: 3,261 - Follows: 1,347 - Updated: 9/28/2009 - Published: 4/24/2009 - [Minato N., Kushina U.] Naruto U. - Complete
First Impressions by NoMoreThanUsual reviews
The day Bella went to the Cullens' home for the first time. Starting at Chapter 15 of Twilight from various Cullens' perspectives. This story is the behind the scenes look at the day Bella met the Cullens. What happened where Bella could not see them?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,856 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 309 - Updated: 8/10/2009 - Published: 7/22/2008 - Carlisle, Esme
Of Curses and Cures by SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal reviews
AU: Edward is finally prepared to begin his medical career—a career ninety-years and four medical degrees in the making. He is, however, anything but prepared for the change that comes with his first patient... Bella Swan.FORMERLY TITLED BEST MEDICINE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 60,392 - Reviews: 1396 - Favs: 1,006 - Follows: 1,232 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 2/27/2008 - Edward, Bella
Innocent, Vigilant, Ordinary by Oxymoronic8 reviews
ON HIATUS. Bella spent the first two years of her life in Forks slowly falling for Jacob. As her senior year begins, a new family moves to town and she begins to question the difference between what she thought she needed & what she never knew she wanted.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 177,984 - Reviews: 5574 - Favs: 5,134 - Follows: 4,523 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 7/16/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Past Comes Back to Bite You by sillybella reviews
AU: After Edward left Bella went to Jacksonville to live with her mother. Years later, after her husband dies, she returns to Forks with her daughter. What will Edward think when he passes through? What will Bella's daughter think of Edward? B&E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 75,552 - Reviews: 2769 - Favs: 1,777 - Follows: 1,762 - Updated: 7/11/2009 - Published: 1/20/2007
Marriage in Mind by Lady Azar de Tameran reviews
One Shot. AU. A marriage contract. They want him to sign away his freedom and his future and his life on a girl who didn't even attend her best friend's funeral. Harry has other ideas.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,023 - Reviews: 237 - Favs: 1,807 - Follows: 283 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Ten Thousand Miles by Tears of Mercury reviews
*BD AU* "This is how a world crumbles... this is how your life begins." Ex-pack member Seth Clearwater tells sixteen-year-old Renesmee the truth about her parents' deaths and shows her that even what's broken can be made new again. SethxNessie
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,720 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 9/26/2008 - Seth, Renesmee C./Nessie
Unforgiveable? by Evilyuriclone reviews
After Harry is poisoned by Ginny in a failed bid to garner his affections via a love potion Hermione seeks to redress her the wrongs done them in the only avenue available.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,280 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 61 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
The Vampire of the Opera by Madame Meg reviews
Bella is kind, smart, pretty and living the perfect life. Until Edward Cullen comes along and kidnaps her, that is. Edward is cruel, miserable, in love with Bella Swan and isn't about to let her go that easily. Re-make of The Phantom of the Opera. AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 53,425 - Reviews: 1262 - Favs: 752 - Follows: 655 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Perpetual State of Misfortune by One Lonely Marauder reviews
A/U: Bella's misfortune follows her from Phoenix to Forks. She runs in to our favorite vampire family. Alice wants her as a sister, Edward is baffled by her silent mind. Bella just wants to live to see her 18th birthday. Better summary inside...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 33,609 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/21/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Bella, Edward
Chandelier by Artemis Day reviews
Harry Potter, Alan Granger immediately decided, was probably the worst sort of son-in-law imaginable. Based on a true story. HHR.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,809 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 927 - Follows: 123 - Published: 3/15/2009 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
The UGLY TRUTH ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE BLANKWARD by gallantcorkscrews reviews
This groundbreaking article explores Domward, Doucheward, Slashward, Healingward... A crack fic/drabble. But no no, this is of grave importance.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 966 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/6/2009 - Edward - Complete
Naruto's Compensation by DisobedienceWriter reviews
COMPLETE. Young Naruto is prohibited from being Ninja of the Leaf. Left to his own devices he takes an unusual path to power as a Puppeteer. Smart!Powerful!Wily!Naruto. Lots of conflict with Orochimaru, Sasori and other Akatsuki.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 81,793 - Reviews: 1664 - Favs: 4,202 - Follows: 1,481 - Updated: 1/3/2009 - Published: 10/22/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
Close encounters of the Supermarket kind by Black Angel reviews
Bella learns for the first time just how hard being a Cullen can be when she runs into Jessica at the supermarket. Post Breaking Dawn
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,265 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 356 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Bella, Edward
Notes by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,990 - Reviews: 2868 - Favs: 2,066 - Follows: 970 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
Homebound by ieflamewriter11 reviews
Bella is a quiet shy girl that everyone overlooks, that is until the cullens come to forks. Will everything change?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 67,654 - Reviews: 1396 - Favs: 563 - Follows: 637 - Updated: 12/19/2008 - Published: 11/11/2007 - Bella, Edward
Priority Client by Eowyn77 reviews
Breaking Dawn. Lawyer J. Jenks gets to know Mr. Jasper. I began this over on R&T but since the site is down I'm continuing it here. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,100 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 12/7/2008 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Jasper, Jenks - Complete
Jessica's Phone Call by NoMoreThanUsual reviews
The night Edward saved Bella in Port Angeles, Jessica called Bella's home and was surprised when Bella was home to answer Twilight p194. If Jessica didn't think Bella was home, exactly who WAS Jessica calling? "Mean Girls" Twilight style. Jessica's POV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,836 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 11/2/2008 - Published: 1/2/2008 - Jessica, Bella - Complete
Cheaters Prosper by drakensis reviews
What's with all this fighting fair? Naruto's going to win ninja-fashion, by hook by crook and all within the rules... technically.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,178 - Reviews: 448 - Favs: 3,731 - Follows: 889 - Published: 10/12/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
Die, Black, Die Slowly by Philippa reviews
A collection of canon companion scenes written in EPOV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,742 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 4/3/2008 - Edward - Complete
One Small Step by Shawny Wong reviews
What if Hinata had actually found the courage to approach Naruto at the Academy? How would befriending him change their lives? Drastic changes are the result of one small step. NaruHina. Written for the Thirty Kisses community on Live Journal.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 49,707 - Reviews: 921 - Favs: 1,531 - Follows: 1,460 - Updated: 9/7/2008 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Harry Potter's Revenge by H P Lovecraft by Meteoricshipyards reviews
A Harry Potter story as H. P. Lovecraft would have written it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 779 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 31 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Frivolous Sentimentalities by Tally Mark reviews
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, what galaxy are youkai from? Because Kagome would really like to know. SessKag oneshot.
Inuyasha - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,139 - Reviews: 691 - Favs: 3,279 - Follows: 288 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Sesshomaru, Kagome H. - Complete
Will He Be Happy? by KafkaExMachina reviews
During Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts Dumbledore asks Snape if Harry will be happy after Voldemort is dead. He doesn't like the answer. Snape decides to clean up the mess. DH except Epi.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,040 - Reviews: 581 - Favs: 591 - Follows: 815 - Updated: 7/30/2008 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G.
In the Right Spirit by Darthishtar reviews
All of the Cullens have their own ideas of heaven and hell, but what happens when two Mormon missionaries come to call? All in good fun but meant to be humorous. And before you think I'm not qualified to write this, I was a Mormon missionary in SoCal.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,702 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/24/2008 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Complete
Fear by NoMoreThanUsual reviews
Summary: Bella’s courage does have its limits. The day Edward was dreading – the day in which Bella runs away screaming – has finally come. Jasper’s POV and Edward’s POV.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,912 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 59 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
Through Alice's Eyes by ChelleyBean reviews
AU - Things might have gone a bit differently if Alice had met Bella first.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,213 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/3/2008 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Complete
The Book of Naruto by HitokiriOTD reviews
Uzumaki Naruto has been many things to many people. To some, he is a friend, a comrade, and perhaps even a hero. To others, he is an enemy, a nuisance, and a villain. But he's never been a god before.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 43,726 - Reviews: 691 - Favs: 2,223 - Follows: 1,929 - Updated: 5/9/2008 - Published: 6/1/2007 - Naruto U.
A Hero by Celebony reviews
Dudley begins to see his family in a different light. Warning: strong language and themes of child abuse. WINNER: Best One-Shot at Quibbler Awards
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,108 - Reviews: 1174 - Favs: 5,384 - Follows: 582 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Dudley D., Harry P. - Complete
Two Halves by Spirit of the Abyss reviews
This is a NaruHina fic. What would it be like if, instead of Jiraiya,Naruto went on a training trip with some one else? What if Hinata went with him? What would happen? More than you can imagine. Originally authored by DameWren.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 171,209 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 586 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 3/5/2008 - Published: 12/29/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
The Hidden Hero by EveBB reviews
AU What if Harry knew he was a wizard and about the prophecy before he went to Hogwarts? What if he was kicked out of the Dursleys and decided to attend Hogwarts disguised as a muggleborn? Harry Ginny
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 36 - Words: 181,065 - Reviews: 2889 - Favs: 3,303 - Follows: 1,096 - Updated: 1/28/2008 - Published: 1/6/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
A Ghostly Companion by sarhea reviews
The Feudal Era is safe, the Shikon is restored and Kagome is dead … but that doesn't mean she is free. A promise to a certain Hokage changes everything. lemon in fic called 'Lemons'. COMPLETE : Uchiha Itachi Higurashi Kagome : AR InuYasha Naruto
Crossover - Inuyasha & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 35,632 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 1,049 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 12/9/2007 - Published: 11/7/2007 - [Kagome H., Itachi U.] Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Evil Summer Vacation by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Harry's summer vacation isn't exactly as the Dursley's planned. There are a few repercussions
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,322 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 1,150 - Follows: 246 - Published: 6/26/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
He Could Always Read Her by atruwriter reviews
Harry could always read Hermione's face like a book. Before long he was using her expressions to gauge whether a relationship should end or continue. Finally, he finds the one woman she couldn't possibly deny him. The only woman he's ever loved. Her. HHr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,859 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 1,125 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 5/5/2007 - Published: 4/28/2007 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Spinning Wheels by MarcyJ reviews
The Reflections of Billy Black. How does it feel to be so involved in the situation, yet so helpless to better it? This will be a series of oneshots from Billy's POV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,330 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 23 - Published: 4/22/2007
Vox Corporis by MissAnnThropic reviews
Following the events of the Goblet of Fire, Harry spends the summer with the Grangers, his relationship with Hermione deepens, and he and Hermione become animagi.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 68 - Words: 323,186 - Reviews: 3981 - Favs: 6,723 - Follows: 1,825 - Updated: 3/30/2007 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
I'm Here to Help by Mark Doherty reviews
It has now come to this. I have lived too long, failed too often, and lost all that matters. Grant me this one last gamble. Grant me an end to our eternal conflict. Grant me the death of she who enslaved our world with its Purification. Grant me Serenity.
Sailor Moon - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 61,045 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 449 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 1/18/2007 - Published: 1/12/2007 - Rei H./Raye/Sailor Mars - Complete
Sleeping Beauty by sillybella reviews
Post New Moon Edward angst. Charlie arrives while Edward and Bella are watching a movie. Bella has fallen asleep in Edward's lap.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,709 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 865 - Follows: 137 - Published: 11/14/2006 - Complete
The Power The Dark Lord Knows Of by Finbar reviews
A very silly little one shot where Harry lets Voldemort know about the Power he isnt supposed to know about...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,553 - Reviews: 335 - Favs: 836 - Follows: 172 - Published: 4/4/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Definitions of Romance by Elizabeth Culmer reviews
Everyone said they were the least romantic couple in the world. A love story: HarryHermione.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,148 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 863 - Follows: 109 - Published: 3/12/2005 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Drive You Mild by obaona reviews
How do two powerful, individualistic people who were formerly enemies unite? Emperor Luke Skywalker, meet Jedi Knight Mara Jade. [Updated with Part 6 - COMPLETE.]
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 70,893 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 474 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 3/4/2005 - Published: 1/9/2005 - Luke S. - Complete
Hermione's Change by funvince reviews
Stop trying to scare me, Hermione. Only Dementors, Voldemort, and Grawp freak me out, so you can just give up on that ... This is nothing. Get this through your head: I love you and that's not changing.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,231 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 336 - Follows: 66 - Published: 1/24/2005 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
You Have Always Believed Me by funvince reviews
After a humiliating incident, Hermione ponders the nature of trust. Trust is a curious thing. It's like a window, fragile and easily shattered, but as long as the frame still stands it can be fixed and made stronger than ever. HHr
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 24,494 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/24/2005 - Published: 9/27/2004 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Darth Voldemort by The Itch reviews
After a stunning announcement, Harry makes the connection between himself and a certain Jedi Master...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 954 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 1,359 - Follows: 148 - Published: 11/29/2004 - Harry P. - Complete
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Mr Darcy and Mr Collins's Widow reviews
Mr. Bennet died when Elizabeth was fifteen and she married Mr. Collins to protect Jane and her family. Now, years after he died, will unpleasant memories stop her from finding happiness with Mr. Darcy? One violent event described.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 19 - Words: 65,670 - Reviews: 411 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 516 - Updated: 3/13 - Published: 2/17 - Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy - Complete
Returning to the Start reviews
Harry killed them once. Now that he is eleven he'll kill them again. Hermione knows her wonderful best friend has a huge secret, but that just means he needs her more. A H/Hr time travel romance where they don't become a couple until Hermione is twenty one, and Harry kills death eaters without the help of children.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,170 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 502 - Follows: 534 - Updated: 10/31/2014 - Published: 9/12/2014 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
To Make a Better World reviews
He had Tom Riddle's memories, and he vowed to undo the damage that creature had done and build a better world.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,196 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/26/2014 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Ah Keeper, Keeper reviews
After she kills herself Harry discovers just how far Hermione went to save his life.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 925 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/4/2011 - Hermione G. - Complete
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