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Joined 01-25-09, id: 1817028, Profile Updated: 12-30-13
Author has written 18 stories for Naruto, Avatar: Last Airbender, and Twilight.

Hello, all.

It is I, the almighty and widely feared Fanfic Monster!

I am a silly trout. Fanfiction makes me happy, it's like reading a book...but, I don't have to buy it, and I can pick who ends up with who. I love writing it, and I love reading it. When I'm not crushed under the weight of school and work and personal laziness.

Music: Tokyo Police Club, The Kooks, Bon Iver, The Republic Tigers, Avril Lavigne, Paramore (sometimes), Marc Cohn, various movie soundtracks, Suzanne Vega

Likes: Lake houses, black-eyed susans, anime, the internet, emails, reviews, Naruto, crack pairings, daisies, Mackinac Island, sunflowers, rain, my brother, fun kiddie shows, sleep, white, green, soccer, snowboarding, whipped cream, Northern Michigan, ninjas, goths, cheesecake, jade, cousins, sunlight, Canada, peaches, Houdini, Ferrari, horoscopes, Einstein, hoodies, old books, fingerless gloves, tandem bicycles, classical piano/violin, Japan, phones, cherry blossoms, apple blossoms, angel food cake...and chocolate. Oh, chocolate...



SasuHina (Naruto) - Why? Eh. I guess the whole ying-yang thing. I think they're good together.

ShikaTema (Naruto) - They COMPLETE each other. Right? Am I right?

NejiTen (Naruto) - She's bubbly, he's serious. Same team, they got chemistry. I like it.

GrimmHime (Bleach) - They are just so ridiculously different and crack-tastic that it's impossible not to like them.

UlquiHime (Bleach) - It could be canon. Besides, they're adorable. It's very cliche, I know, but she makes him human. Ish.

Dramione (Harry Potter) - They're complete opposites. Good and Evil. Kind and Devious. Books and...more...e...vil...???

Zutara (Avatar) - It's just FUN. To read and to write.

Law x Nami (One Piece) - Okay, to be honest, I don't even really watch One Piece. But again, I'm a sucker for crack. So this just goes without saying.

! Review Hall Of Fame !

a.k.a People Who Praised Me and Their Comments

372259 for DoveFoxSnake: OMG this story is AMAZING :D PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE update ASAP! Im really interested in seeing what's going on in Sasuke's head :) ! You did a FANTASTIC job with the prologue, i was literally hooked within the first few sentences ! And the way you wrote Naruto was different, but in a really good way! I had never seen naruto written that way before but the way you wrote it, it really did fit and now i when i picture naruto i imagine this version of him! GREAT WRITING :D

Buffy-CrazyaboutAngel for DoveFoxSnake: They way you've written this is really interesting, it has a Gothic feel to the style.
And the tone is very somber - psychological thriller of some sort.
I feel that despite Naruto being 'the good guy' he is still human and susceptible to 'evils'. Taking into account all the years of neglect and abuse (from the villagers, he was the outcast), he would sure be affected by it, and while he might not show it outwardly, who knows the stability of his mentality.
It's refreshing to see authors take new directions and takes on characters; while having them remain style 'in-character' is critical to maintain the essence, I think that 'Naruto' has a lot of leeway when it comes to creative liberties.

x-Ink-is-Beauty-x for DoveFoxSnake: I'm in love
seriously, I'm proposing to you right now (your gender really doesn't matter)
Your story is awesome,it's very hard to find good 'dark' sasuhina fics out there.
Anyway I hope I didn't freak you out too much.
update soon :)

exorsus for DoveFoxSnake: So Sasuke isn't the monster he'd like to be, he's just damaged goods. In fact, they're all pretty damn gloomy.
Someone needs to smack some sense/life into these kids (I'm looking at you Kakashi) before it gets any worse.

littlewitch88 for Tsuki no Hanayome: I really loved this chapter :) Ino is soo bossy,and although there was only a little of her and Shino,they were so sweet,smile and a kiss on the cheek,and later,while she was looking the pictures and fansizing about her husband,it was amazing.This is also the first positive view on Sasuke's and Hinata's wedding,and they were actually happy-he WINKED at her!and she made him smile,although Ino thought it was all her doing haha so their marriage won't be so terrible after all :)

Saki-Hime for Tsuki no Hanayome: Good chapter, glad you updated, keep updating please but TAKE IT EASY! lol don't stress out, its not good for the body or mind. Take it one step at a time and you'll get to do everything you need to do.

These reviews made me feel all fuzzy inside. Or they made me laugh out loud.

! Faithful Reviewers !

a.k.a People Who Read Almost Everything I Produce




And more to come...hopefully. I love you guys. :)

Quotes I Love

Mainly just stuff I hear wherever. Movies, TV, other fanfics, I even have some that I just made up. Mostly comedy, some drama, a few heart-warmers. Song lyrics are in italics. Lots of them, and I mean lots, contain swear words. So be warned.

- "I love my dead gay son."

- "I just hate you, and I hate your ass face."

- "Go do that voodoo that you do so well!"

- "Do you concur?" (later) "Dammit! Why didn't I concur?"

- "I'll sleep with you for a meatball."

- "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

- "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

- "I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy."

- "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster by your side, kid."

- "Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do, it's the wrong kind of place, to be thinking of you..."

- "I've run my race. You run yours."

- "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?"

- "Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup."

- "And he will use words he don't really know. If he gets really desperate, he'll start to rap. Or dance."

- "You would need three promotions to get to be an asshole."

- "Okay, first things fuckin' last!"

- "Like a memory in motion, you were only passing through, that is all you've ever known of life, that's all you'll ever do."

- "Details of your incompetence do not interest me."

- I don't think Homies Over Hoes is a sentiment that I can cosign, Riley. I mean, don't get me wrong. I would put a lot of things over a ho. Money over a ho? Always. Brand new gators over a ho? Absolutely. A turkey sandwich with just tomato? Guaranteed. But homies? Oh no. Unless a homie wanna walk that stroll and get that money, a homie ain't gettin' a goddamn thing."

- "Honestly, you are the most boorish, pig-headed man I've ever met." "Lady, I've seen the high-born boys your type hangs out with. Heh...I'm the only man you've ever met."

- "In your heart, you know that he is going to die - because he saw something in you that just. Wasn't. There."

- "If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next. After that, he'll tell you if he wears ladies' underwear. (pause) I'm hungry. Let's get a taco."

- "You can't lie to a man who's done time for you."

- "All I hear is 'blah blah blah, I'm a loud motherfucker!'"

- "You know, whorebiscuit, the world doesn't revolve around your breasts."

- "You kill anybody?" "Just a few cops." "No real people?" "Just cops."

- "Eddie, you keep talkin' like a bitch, and I'm gonna slap you like a bitch."

- "Is that alright you with you? Give my gun away when it's loaded, that alright with you? If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it?"

- "Gentleman, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"


- "I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker."

- "We are a nation of whores, selling ourselves. There is no honor in this. No honor."

- "Because teenage girls are sub-human parasites who must feed on their mother's misery to survive."

- "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it."

- "Well, time to go back to Hell, amigos!"

- "Congratulations. The chances just went from none to slim."

- "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."

- "I live at home with my parents. It's just temporary...'til they die."

- "If I'm not back in five minutes...wait longer."

- "Will you persist even after I bet you a million dollars that I'll never love you, and will you persist even after I kiss you goodbye for the last time, will you keep on trying? prove it, I'm dying..."

- "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single world of what I am saying."

- "You can sleep when you're dead!"

- "...well, I have a microphone and you don't, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say..."

- "Life goes on. Except for you! Nyahahahaha..."

- "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- "One less worthless man around. Men who don't have the guts to survive in the real world, because they're afraid the world will find out how small their penises are."

- "This message brought to you from the national ice cream council, who urges you to stop eating yogurt - because, it's alive...and that's pretty icky."

- "Freeze, mutha-stickers! This is a fuck up!"

- "I wanna tell you there's a really good reason why I came home wasted in the middle of the night; a tiny kingdom at the bottom of the trees, where I was always a winner and I was usually right."

- "If I was in World War II they'd call me SPITFIRE!"

- "Fuck you no jutsu!"

- "Acknowledge me now or lose me forever."

- "What do you expect from us? We're people."

- "My personal life is none of your business, and the fact that I know things about your personal life is one of the great sadnesses of my existence."

- "I really admire you, Ray." "Yeah? Fuck with me again and you'll be admiring how far I can lodge my foot up your ass."

- "It's you and me, babe. It's always gonna be you and me."

- "We'd get impatient with her now and then, oh she'd smile and say, 'Now you're not being nice.' I guess her definition of a friend was someone long on love, and short on advice."

- "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

- "Why is the rum always gone?"

- "True friends...stab you in the front."

- "You know what? You're a bitch. And I don't mean 'bitch', like, you're a terrible person and people hate you. I mean 'bitch' like you are a real honest-to-god female dog. So now what I wanna know is how the fuck you managed to get up on your hind legs, smear some makeup on your face, and come talk down to me like we were members of the same species?"

- "Who the hell is interrupting my kung fu?"

- "So you say you're under a curse, well so what? So's the whole damn world."

- "So I notice nothing makes you shatter, no no, you're a lover of the wild and a joker of the heart, but are you mine?"

- "You're dead to me."


- "She's the village bicycle! Everyone's had a ride."

- "God was my co-pilot...but we crashed in the mountains, and I had to eat him."

- "Because donuts don't wear alligator shoes."

- "Automatic, supersonic, hypnotic, funky fresh!"

- "Nine out of ten doctors agree...and that last doctor...well, he's a dick and we never let him sit at our lunch table."

- "Science has made us gods before we are worthy of being men."

- "Get outta here! And don't come back for five to seven days!"

You're never to old to...uh, review.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tiny Pearl by Stitchpuppy01 reviews
She never looks at anything but Naruto, but when she finally catches someone else's eye, Hinata finds that maybe someone's been watching her too.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 35 - Words: 93,001 - Reviews: 962 - Favs: 793 - Follows: 669 - Updated: 10/5/2015 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Sasuke U., Hinata H. - Complete
Cover My Eyes by Rampantt reviews
There's one thing far worse than unrequited love; an impossible one. What do you do when you're falling in love with your best friend's boyfriend? SasuHina
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 82,298 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 4/27/2015 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Hinata H.
Demon Dance by grainsofsand reviews
In order to appease the emperor of demons, and to save their village, the elders of Konoha offer him his choice of maidens. By chance or fate, an angel is thrown at his feet. Now the question is if she is saved or damned. AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 156,001 - Reviews: 1256 - Favs: 786 - Follows: 740 - Updated: 11/29/2013 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Hinata H., Gaara
Trust to Hope by smylealong reviews
Theirs was a political marriage to salvage a country that was on the brink of a civil war. Unfortunately her husband scared the innocent princess. It did not help that she was in a strange land, with no one to trust and surrounded by enemies who wanted her dead. AU. Some contents may disturb sensitive readers- On hold indefinitely.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 92,399 - Reviews: 456 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 258 - Updated: 4/16/2013 - Published: 9/1/2011 - Orihime I., Ulquiorra
Behind Blue Eyes by Kami-Inu reviews
Dark AU. The more he pushed away, the more she seemed to pull him back closer. Prison life was built on solitude, after all. She was just a misplaced ray of light, and he was just an old nightmare. That's what they kept telling themselves, anyway.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 101,870 - Reviews: 316 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 10/19/2012 - Published: 3/9/2012 - [Grimmjow J., Orihime I.] - Complete
My Darkest Days by xXx.TheSeductreSs.xXx reviews
He was always in the shadows, watching her. He was like a guardian angel, but his intentions were not at all pure. He had known from the moment he had seen her. She had to be his.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,540 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 1/6/2012 - Published: 12/13/2011 - Itachi U., Hinata H.
Sasuke Oniichan by Khmerfujoshi reviews
After accidentally hitting Hinata with an experimental jutsu, Sakura was beyond horrified to find out who would have to take care of the seven-year old girl. And to make things worse, Sasuke doesn't seem to mind. Sasuhina.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 40,451 - Reviews: 784 - Favs: 848 - Follows: 815 - Updated: 12/24/2011 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Sasuke U., Hinata H.
Oath by EmbraceDiversity reviews
'What If' AU. "We'll love each other. We don't need anyone else. No one else matters but us. I'll protect you from them, from ALL of them." GaaHina, some NejiHina, SasuHina if you squint.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 53,439 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 303 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Gaara, Hinata H. - Complete
His Greed and My Blood by NotIntoIt3456 reviews
SasuHina AU “Shh.” He breathed on her neck. “Don’t move,” he whispered seductively. But she couldn’t. She could only stand frozen, paralyzed with fear, as the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach worsened.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,974 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Sasuke U., Hinata H.
Words of Encouragement by BlackRoseDragon13 reviews
Hinata takes up a new activity at school. She soon learns that her role affects people more than she knows.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,237 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 33 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Hinata H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Little Mouse by Stitchpuppy01 reviews
He is a predator, skillful, ruthless, and twisted. So why is it he cannot kill this one little mouse?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 24,879 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 9/21/2009 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Gaara, Hinata H.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

DoveFoxSnake reviews
Women keep a special corner of their heart for sins they have never committed. ::SasuHina:: ::slight NaruHina::
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 38,571 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 368 - Updated: 9/13/2014 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Hinata H.
Courtship reviews
He's definitely a genius. Just...not when it comes to his feelings. Frankly, Hinata isn't helping anything either. ::SasuHina::
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,519 - Reviews: 468 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 1/4/2014 - Published: 11/8/2011 - Sasuke U., Hinata H.
Yūrei reviews
Naruto brings Sasuke back to the village, but all is not well. .:NaruSaku:. .:some NaruHina:.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,234 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/26/2013 - Naruto U., Sakura H., Hinata H.
I Don't Want Sunbursts and Marble Halls reviews
I just want you. ::SasuIno::
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,388 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 19 - Published: 2/22/2013 - Ino Y., Sasuke U.
Forbidden Fruit Commentary reviews
My first commentary fic, on "Forbidden Fruit: The Temptation of Edward Cullen". Warning: this story contains gratuitous amounts of self inserting, awkward Shakespearean language, and Atlantantiantana. Rated T mostly for my bad language. Read at the risk of your IQ!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,607 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/17/2012 - Edward
Naruto Visits the Supermarket reviews
And nothing could possible go wrong. Unless pineapples are involved, of course. Rated T for language, biting, and general tomfoolery.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,807 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/23/2012 - Published: 7/22/2012 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Heiwa no Mori reviews
"She's the protector of those woods. No one's ever seen her before...why do you ask?" "I have something I need from her." ::SasuHina::
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,297 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 6/1/2012 - Published: 7/23/2011 - Sasuke U., Hinata H.
The Ponderings Of Good and Strong reviews
Sometimes the only thing we need to improve someone else. ::slight SasuHina::
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,375 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/14/2012 - Sasuke U., Hinata H. - Complete
In The End reviews
Sakura thinks on popularity. 5 years old, it was pretty Ino. 15 years old, it was cute Sakura. And in the end, it was just Hinata. She ponders Sasuke's fascination with Hinata, and wonders why, in the end, she lost. Sasuhina, slight Sakura bashing.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 32,847 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 12/20/2011 - Published: 11/23/2009 - Sasuke U., Hinata H.
Tsuki no Hanayome 月の花嫁 reviews
Marriage is a many-faceted thing. Thoughts on the marriage of Hyuga Hinata and Uchiha Sasuke, from those closest to them.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,689 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 10/28/2011 - Published: 7/3/2011 - Hinata H., Sasuke U.
Despairing Verses of the Dead Shepherd reviews
A tale from Don Quixote, in the style of Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,836 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/12/2011 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
Hello There, Shikamaru reviews
"Good morning, Nara." It was just one night...right? It wouldn't happen again...Poor Shikamaru. He wouldn't know love if it hit him with a giant steel fan. Shikatema.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,552 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/1/2011 - Published: 2/12/2011 - Shikamaru N., Temari
Stay reviews
Maybe she only desired freedom, something that her clan, Naruto, and Konoha could never provide. She has given Sasuke her first time, because she loves him in a dark, fake, beautiful kind of way. ::SasuHina::
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,258 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/20/2011 - Hinata H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Beautiful Girl reviews
Toph knows that she will never be like Katara. ::Some Kataang, Zutara, Taang; slight Sukka::
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,211 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Toph, Katara - Complete
Epic Pairing Bashings reviews
Do you like pairings? Do you like Naruto pairings? I bash them to bits. Suggest a pairing you despise, and I'll trash it for you. From popular pairings like NaruHina, to obscure pairings like ZakuKin. I'm not really sure that's worth it. Review!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 565 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/21/2010
Sasuke Wants To Get Married? reviews
The unthinkable has happened! No, it's not Choji on a diet. Sasuke actually WANTS to get married? Well, his little Uchiha minions won't breed themselves. So Sasuke goes on a hunt for a perfect wife. Who will he choose? Who will cry? Who cares? Sasuhina!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 929 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Sasuke U.
Naruto Insanity reviews
My favorite recipe - a pinch of author's insomnia, the cast of Naruto, and a large dollop of insanity. Bake until golden brown, or until, one by one, the characters of Naruto go insane. sakura & other female bashing, bashing of all males. Little sasuhina.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,094 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/2/2010
Therapy With Naruto reviews
The Naruto characters have been having problems...and what better person to fix them than Tsunade's crazy neice? Warning - rated T for a reason!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 678 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/15/2009