booboo.kitty2.0
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Joined 01-28-09, id: 1819589, Profile Updated: 05-26-11
Author has written 12 stories for Twilight.

My name is Patty I'm just your average mom in southern California suburbia. I have 4 skin kids and 2 hairy kids, 1 husband and a multitude of goldfish that scare the bejesus out of me.

I volunteer at my kids school when I'm not writing.

My interests are; Spunk Ransom, Vegetarian Vampires, Salvador Dali and guys named Art.

And I have the coolest friends EVER!!

Live. Breathe. Write.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/booboo_kitty33

The Acclimation Diaries ~ Indie Twific winner, Best Undiscovered Erotica WIP

My Bad the Deconstruction of Jane ~ Co-winner in vjgm's Trust in Advertising Crackfic Contest

Urban Legend ~ featured on PPSS's One Shot Wednesday

YOU READERS ROCK HARD!!

Urband Legend is now available in Spanish! http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2541016/SoLovely Thank you so much Day78 & Marylouu for translating, you ladies are awesome!

The Acclimation Diaries is now available in Russian! http://twilightrussia.ru/forum/110-6352-1 Thank yoiu so much to LanaLuna11 for translating, you are awesome sweets!

All of the fics you see here can also be found at Twilighted http://www.twilighted.net/viewuser.php?uid=10903

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Confessions of a Difficult Woman by einfach mich reviews
Leah Clearwater is not the kind of girl that goes for guys like Edward Cullen. In fact, she thinks he's an asshole and Edward's made it clear he hates her too. One drunken night changes everything. AU AH For the Parkaward Contest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 35 - Words: 237,060 - Reviews: 1051 - Favs: 424 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 11/24/2013 - Published: 8/29/2009 - Leah, Edward
The Nightingale Journals by kimpy reviews
Night nurse Bella Swan blogs about her experiences via "The Nightingale Journals." When Dr. Edward Cullen is named the PICU's newest Fellow, their attraction is undeniable, but can they remain professional? Epic banter and tensions result.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 231,945 - Reviews: 3425 - Favs: 2,708 - Follows: 1,822 - Updated: 2/17/2012 - Published: 2/9/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Education of Professor Cullen by sheviking reviews
College professor Edward Cullen is thoroughly annoyed by his student Ms. Swan. Everything about her bothers him, and he longs for the semester to be over. But what happens when he meets her one night when they aren't in school?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 172,427 - Reviews: 10307 - Favs: 9,147 - Follows: 6,930 - Updated: 9/22/2011 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Daniel Gale: Cumming to America by Annetteskitty reviews
Nerdalicious Daniel Gale is saying goodbye to England and hello to the United States. Looking to reinvent himself, he is all too gratified by the corn-fed derriers of Americans. Daniel Gale/Twilight cross over, slightly crackfic, AU, AH, Prepare for Perv
Crossover - Twilight & Bad Mother's Handbook - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 27 - Words: 103,406 - Reviews: 4538 - Favs: 1,002 - Follows: 1,063 - Updated: 6/14/2011 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Bella
Oh, Inverted World by DeviKalika reviews
Edward is a tortured soul with a dark past at St. Teresa's Catholic Academy in Port Angeles. What happens when he meets a girl who turns his world upside down? AU-All Human. Rated for language and graphic adult content.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 1,699 - Reviews: 1131 - Favs: 1,393 - Follows: 1,633 - Updated: 10/20/2010 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Naked Guy Upstairs by AngryBadgerGirl reviews
It's You've Got Mail meets Pillow Talk meets...eh, you get the picture. It's the usual ABG yuks and lemons. Playboyward v. Straightlacedella. Love/Hate/Love/Banter. RATED M COS WHY ELSE DO YOU READ FIC, HONESTLY? AH, CANON PAIRINGS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 192,615 - Reviews: 13779 - Favs: 10,306 - Follows: 7,652 - Updated: 9/14/2010 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
My Heart of Darkness by einfach mich reviews
Edward's first time, and Bella's last. An entry for the Beyond the Pale contest. WARNING: EXTREME DISTURBING CONTENT! NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART OR STOMACH . NO WUSSPERVS ALLOWED!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,962 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 29 - Published: 8/13/2010 - Edward, Bella
Heat by Emerald-Rosalie reviews
Even if was only for a few minutes, Leah knew just how beautiful she really was. Jasper/Leah AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,554 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Jasper, Leah - Complete
Breaking Wind by Marti1013 reviews
A Crack-fic based on a line from a story by booboo kitty, 'The Acclimation Diaries'. Poor Edward's thoughts one night while Bella sleeps
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,234 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Two Lonely Hearts by einfach mich reviews
Charlie and Leah have bonded in their grief over the death of Harry Clearwater, but now Leah wants things to change. Will Charlie look past their differences, and give them both a second chance at happiness? AU Post New Moon. Alt Shipper Challenge
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,049 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/1/2010 - Charlie S., Leah - Complete
Just Be by mskathy reviews
Edward has competed with Bella every step of his adult life - culinary school, opening their own restaurants and finally on Iron Chef America. Will Iron Chef Cullen's cuisine reign supreme?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,055 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 95 - Published: 5/4/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Dangers of Dating A Vampire by wantmywifeback reviews
True love is hard. True love with a vampire is even harder. Please abide by guidelines for adult content readership. I do not encourage under-age readers. Please read my profile for update on search for wife.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,528 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 1/19/2010 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Desiderata by kimpy reviews
Desiderata is Latin for "desired things or something that is needed, wanted." Both Edward and Bella want happiness, but will their pig-headed stubbornness and biases get in the way of finding true love? Based upon Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 161,951 - Reviews: 868 - Favs: 874 - Follows: 367 - Updated: 11/25/2009 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Contains Adult Content, The Sequel by wantmywifeback reviews
A one-shot story of MORE sex and lust, still without romance. None. Very adult content. Please abide by guidelines for adult content readership. I do not encourage under-age readers. Please read my profile.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 208 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Contains Adult Content by wantmywifeback reviews
A one-shot story of sex and lust without romance. None. Very adult content. Please abide by guidelines for adult content readership. I do not encourage under-age readers. Please read my profile.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Adult Twilight Fanfiction Story, The Sequel by wantmywifeback reviews
This truly excellent one-shot sequel has hot sex, lust, more romance and hot sex. And lust. Very adult content. I do not encourage under-age readers. Please read my profile
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Adult Twilight Fanfiction Story by wantmywifeback reviews
This is a truly excellent one-shot story of sex, lust, romance and sex. And lust. Very adult content. My first adult fanfiction. Please abide by guidelines for adult content readership. I do not encourage under-age readers. Please read my profile.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 46 - Reviews: 268 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 19 - Published: 10/9/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Whatever the Lady Wants by einfach mich reviews
Edward and Bella have been dating for three months, but they are experiencing issues. Bella thinks that her ex-boyfriend might be able to help. Will her decision make or break their relationship? AH AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 35,728 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 7/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Good & Evil by bella c'ella luna reviews
A Bella & Edward love story, circa "Twilight." There is a new kind of Evil lurking in Forks and Bella will require lots of protection, especially from that creepy guy. This will lead to lots of lemons! :D
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 121,374 - Reviews: 2803 - Favs: 1,423 - Follows: 735 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Measure of Normal reviews
A drabble on the measure of time between Twilight and New Moon where Edward and Bella try to date like a 'normal' couple and engage in 'normal' teen behavior. Happy Reading!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,586 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 29 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Reflections reviews
The Acclimation Diaries one shot, taking place directly after the final chapter of TAD. Written in EPOV for Fandom Gives Back. Vamp/Vamp.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,260 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 23 - Published: 7/19/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Porn Star in Me reviews
AU/AH Just a bit of one shot fun written for Ninapolitan's FFFA on Twilighted. After years of secretly loving each other, will they finally find each other at a BBQ at Emmett & Rose's house? Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,652 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 53 - Published: 3/1/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bizzaro Twilight reviews
-AU- What would Twilight have been like if the roles were reversed? Edward, Emmett & Jasper are humans living in Forks with their dad, Charlie working at the police station. Bella, Rosalie & Alice are vampires sent to live in Forks by Carlisle & Esme
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 67,847 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 529 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 1/15/2010 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Friction is Awesome reviews
A little different, slightly more amusing... and unedited... look at the infamous leg hitch scene…sort of.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,103 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 126 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Bella, Edward
Consume Me reviews
A o/s written for the Fandom Gives Back auction winner, Mabarberella! Three years after her transformation in The Acclimation Diaries, Bella works with Edward on honing her new vampiric talents.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,599 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 29 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Acclimation Diaries reviews
All told from EPOV, The Acclimation Diaries chronicles Edward’s struggles with learning control & taking things 1 step at a time as he acclimates to Bella sexually in prep of their impending wedding night. Can he keep his desire in check or will his snap?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 88,700 - Reviews: 1118 - Favs: 1,395 - Follows: 568 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 3/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Bad The Deconstruction of Jane reviews
A Crackfic written for Trust in Advertising by the amazing, wonderful and all powerful, vjgm. If you haven't read it yet, get thee to Twilighted dot net and check it out! AUH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,415 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Jane, Bella - Complete
Bella's Bad Day reviews
Love Through Lemons contest entry Bella's had a horrid day and Edward does his best to make it better. His VERY best ;- Just a bit 'o the smut AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,404 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 40 - Published: 7/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Show Me reviews
An entry for *A Twilight Teasing Story Contest* Bella comes into her room, fresh from the shower, wrapped in only a towel, to find Edward lounging on her bed instead of out hunting like he's supposed to be. Slightly OOC Edward, but not too much.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,609 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 487 - Follows: 78 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Testing the Waters reviews
After talking with Carlisle, and with some insight from Alice, Edward thinks he and Bella should test the waters of their physical relationship before jumping in, head first, on their wedding night.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,880 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 64 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete